He was watching her reactions closely, and saw her frown and the anger cross her face. Just as quickly, though, she forced a smile. “I had mixed feelings about it. Some of the other students were nice and some not so much, but you’ll find that anywhere you go. The same with the classes. I liked some, but there were others I didn’t like much. The professors were all okay, I guess. They didn’t seem friendly, didn’t want to get to know you as a person much, but if you went to them they’d talk to you. I guess it’s probably like that at most colleges.”
“If you could redo your college experience, would you do anything differently?”
“Looking back on it now, I guess I didn’t really put enough effort into the class part of it. They don’t grade on a curve or talk to you and give you a chance to bring your grade up or anything there, and I wasn’t used to that. No one told me it was like that, so now that I know it, if I could do it again, I guess I’d have to put more effort into the school part.”
“Did your teachers in high school talk to you if you weren’t doing well in a class?”
“Well, yeah. They’d tell you you weren’t passing, or if you were getting a D, and they’d give you some ways you could bring it up.”
“What kind of things would you be able to do? Do you mean like see if you wanted help studying for the next test?”
“No, things like doing an extra report or something. We had a geography teacher who would give you extra credit if you brought in a dish that was local for whatever area we were studying at the time.”
“Did you do that sometimes?”
“Of course. That was an easy extra credit. I’d just tell the cook what I needed and when. She’d make it and explain to me what it was and what it had in it, and then I’d take it in.”
“But you didn’t do any of the work for it?”
She froze, obviously not thinking of that before. “Well, I had to explain what it was and what it had in it. Sometimes it was popular for certain holidays, and I’d tell them that.” After several seconds, she looked nervous. “Now that I think about that, and having said it out loud, I don’t feel as proud of it as I did at the time.” She shrugged. “Maybe I’m maturing, I don’t know.”
Paul had to look away to hide his smile. His suspicion was proving true. “Maybe. How are you holding up? I’d like to talk a little bit about something I mentioned several days ago; this world and what you perceive as your place in it. Are you up to it now?”
“I don’t really think so,” she said as she yawned. “Maybe later?”
“If you want to wait until after lunch, we can.”
She had an obvious look of relief as she said, “Good.”
“We need to find some more recipes we want to try, and make up another grocery list. Maybe we can work on that until it’s time to start lunch.”
She wrinkled her nose, but quickly looked away. “Sure.” She got her computer and the two of them were soon busy.
“Oh, I have a few recipes from my boss’ wife. Why don’t you give me your email address and I’ll send them to you? She assures me they’re easy. Why don’t you look at them and see what you think?”
A couple hours later they had another grocery list, and went to make lunch. After lunch, he suggested they talk a little bit.
“I thought we were getting groceries today,” she said. “Maybe we can talk tomorrow.”
“I thought maybe we could talk this afternoon, and get groceries tomorrow. That would break our day up tomorrow.”
“No, I don’t feel like talking any more today. Let’s get groceries now.”
Paul agreed, and they went to the grocery store. He could tell Gina was being very careful to be on her best behavior. She went straight to the carts and got one and started pushing it. He had to concentrate on not laughing, as he could see how much it bothered her to touch it. They did their shopping, and she said very little. She caught herself a couple times, and made it through the expedition without swearing or having any tantrums. When they got home, she made a point to carry three bags in, and even helped him put them away.
After dinner that evening, he asked if she wanted to talk a little, but she turned him down again.
When he was ready to leave that evening, he turned to face her. “Gina, I think we need to have a little chat before I leave.”
“I haven’t done anything wrong, have I?”
“No. No, you haven’t done anything wrong. That’s part of the problem. You haven’t done much of anything, right or wrong.”
“But I was sick.”
“So you’ve said. But since then you haven’t wanted to talk, and when you have agreed, you haven’t really said anything.” Before she could object, he held his hand up to stop her. “Let me finish. For someone who was anxious to get the program started so she could finish it, you’ve surprised me.”
“Why?”
“You’ve been in the program a week now, but in actuality, you’ve barely begun the program. I know you said you were sick, but how about since then? Like I told you before, the program is not forty-two days. It’s a minimum of six weeks, but it ends when I feel you’ve met your grandfather’s goals. Notice I didn’t say your one and only goal, which was to get your inheritance. It’s when you’ve met your grandfather’s goals. We went over them at the beginning of the program and I gave you a copy of them. Now, I’m not here to play games.”
“Neither am I.”
He ignored her outburst and continued. “Like you pointed out to me earlier, I’m getting paid by your grandfather’s estate, so I can keep coming over here every day to do nothing as long as you want me to, but it’s not getting you any closer to finishing the program.”
“But that’s not fair.”
“It’s entirely fair. You get out of the program what you put into it. So, when you’re ready to talk to me, and I mean honestly talk to me, tell me what you’re really thinking, let me know and we’ll start working again. Until then, I’ll keep coming over and we’ll both waste our time. Think about it tonight. Good night, Gina.”
He left and closed the door behind him. He knew she’d be upset, but hopefully she’d give it some thought. He wondered what kind of mood she’d be in when she answered the door in the morning. Or if she’d even answer it.
He thought about that once he got back to his motel room. He’d given this a lot of thought the last couple days. He’d been pretty sure what she was doing, but her answers today left no doubt in his mind. He was aware that she might kick him out and decide not to finish the program. He hoped she didn’t, but he knew it was a possibility. For that reason, he called Jason. He wanted him to be aware of what could possibly happen the next day, and make sure they were in agreement as to how to handle her reaction, whatever it may be.
Jason laughed a bit when he heard the reason for Paul’s call. “I was glad you were available for this assignment, Paul, because I was afraid she may be a little challenging, but I had no idea how much of a challenge she’d be. Just so you know, so far you’ve done exactly what I would have done. After hearing your reasons for thinking she’s stalling, I agree totally, and I think you did the right thing by approaching her about it tonight. That will give her some time to think about it.”
“But I have no idea what conclusion that thinking will lead to,” Paul said.
“It’s hard to tell, but you’ll find out soon enough. At this point you’ve done everything you can, so it’s pretty much up to her. Hold tight to the rules. Make sure she knows you’re not giving in and won’t relax any of the rules, and let her decide.”
They talked a bit more, and Paul said he’d call the next evening, unless she ended the program sooner.
He looked over all his notes again, to be sure he hadn’t missed something, and finally went to bed, still thinking.
* * *
He rang the doorbell at 9:00 the next morning, and was a little relieved when she answered the door and invited him in. “Let’s make a pot of coffee and sit down at the table and
talk, Gina, before we make breakfast.”
She nodded and set about putting the coffee on. When they sat down at the table with a cup of coffee in front of each of them, she looked nervous. She was chewing on her bottom lip. Paul started the conversation. “I assume you gave some thought to what I said last night?”
She nodded, but Paul wasn’t going to allow that. “Gina?”
“Yes,” she quickly said.
“What do you want to do? Are we going to work this program, or what?”
“I don’t have any choice.”
“Sure you do, Gina. If you don’t want to tackle your feelings and do this program, you don’t have to. You’ll just have to wait longer to get your inheritance.”
“But I can’t do that.”
“So you’re going to do the program?”
Again she nodded. When he sighed, she quickly said, “Yes.”
“Then you need to talk to me, and you need to be honest this time. I don’t want the answers you think I want to hear. I want to hear your honest feelings.”
Her head jerked up to face him. “What do you mean by that?”
“That’s what the answers you gave me yesterday were; what you thought that I’d want to hear. But Gina, I know that’s not how you actually feel, so I’m not buying it. That only tells me your grandfather’s right. You will lie if it’s convenient for you.”
“You can’t prove I was lying,” she yelled, standing up. She looked like she was starting to panic.
Jason used a firm, very authoritative voice he hadn’t used yet with her. “Gina, sit down right now and watch your language.” It got exactly the reaction he was hoping for. She sat down without saying another word, and looked over at him. “That’s better. Now listen to what I’m about to tell you. I will not spank you for lying to me about your feelings this time, only because I’m not actually sure you even looked at that as lying to me. But I want you to know I am very aware that those are not your true feelings, and that’s unacceptable. If you don’t watch your attitude, though, you will be spanked for that. You know how to discuss things politely. We can do that if you would like, but I will not allow you to get angry and have a tantrum. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes,” she answered meekly.
“Good. Now, I assume when you said I can’t prove you were lying, you were trying to avoid a spanking. I understand that, but let me explain something else here to you. When I asked you about something we had already talked about, you said your feelings had changed after you thought about what I said. Is that right?”
“Yes.”
“What exactly did I say that made you change your feelings?”
She hesitated a few moments before answering. “Everything you said. I thought about all of it.”
“That would be good if I would have said anything.”
“What do you mean? We talked about it before.”
“Yes, we did. But when you asked if your answers were right, what did I tell you?” She shrugged, but didn’t say anything. “I told you there were no right or wrong answers, and I just wanted to know what your feelings were. I never said one word about whether I agreed or not.”
She looked very small, and embarrassed. “You didn’t?”
“No, I didn’t. I will tell you, though, that the fact that you were trying to convince me your feelings had changed is encouraging in one way.”
“What way?”
“That means you care more than you let on. Deep down inside, I don’t think the feelings you relayed to me are really how you feel. There is some truth to them, but I don’t feel what you related to me is totally what you think. We need to talk about it again, and this time you need to be honest with me.”
“But what if you won’t like what I say?”
“Then we’ll talk about it. We’ll talk about why you feel like you do. Often times people’s feelings are based on something that’s not true. If that’s the case, once you know the truth, your feelings change. If you know the truth, I don’t believe your true feelings would be something I wouldn’t approve of.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because the more I’m getting to know you, the more I believe you’re a good person. You have some issues you need to work through, but you’re a good person with a good heart.”
She looked surprised when she looked up at him. “I mean that, Gina. I’m not just telling you that. Let’s fix some breakfast, and after we eat we’ll talk a little bit. If it gets to be too hard for you, we’ll take a break. I’m not trying to make this difficult for you. I’m really trying to help you, but you have to talk to me honestly. Can we try it, after breakfast?”
“Okay.”
“Good.” He stood, taking her along with him, and gave her a little hug. “I’ll do what I can to help you, Gina. You’ll be fine.”
After breakfast, with coffee in front of both of them, they sat down on the couch. “Now, let’s go back to an earlier conversation we had. You said you felt like you were better than most people, and one group you named specifically was who you referred to as a drain on society. Can you tell me again who that includes, in your mind?”
They spent the next half hour talking about that topic. Paul was becoming frustrated, because for some reason, Gina was not willing to consider that some people on some type of government assistance may not be there simply because they’re lazy.
Finally, he realized most of her feelings on this topic came from what she’d heard other people saying. Since she’d gone to private schools, it stood to reason that what she’d heard came from other students. He had begun to think these students were a big part of why she felt that she was better than most people. The research he’d done into the private schools she’d gone to, along with questions he’d asked her, all pointed to the schools being among the most expensive around. He was guessing many of the students had a chip on their shoulder, typical of rich kids, as he’d always called them.
Her grandfather had wondered if that were the case, and it looked like he was right again. Paul had a lot of respect for her grandfather, even though he’d never met him in person.
He tried to test his theory, but she was having none of it. “Gina, did you and your fellow students in high school ever talk about this subject?”
She whirled around to glare at him. “Why? Are you trying to say my feelings are all their fault?”
“Watch your attitude. And to answer you question, I don’t know; that’s why I’m asking. Did you and your friends ever talk about people who are a drain on society, or did you discuss it in class?”
“You said there are no right or wrong answers, but you sure don’t seem to like the answers I’m giving you. Well, that’s tough shit. Who I may have talked to about anything is none of your business.”
Just that quick, she found herself being lifted off the couch and draped unceremoniously over his lap. He was unfastening her jeans and had them pulled down before she registered what was happening. Her panties being pulled down brought her quickly to a complete understanding, and she tried getting back up. “Oh, no. No way! We are not starting this again. Let me up.”
Using the same authoritative voice that worked earlier, he said, “Stay still. This is happening because you asked for it to happen.” That quieted her momentarily and he started spanking her.
It didn’t take long for her to object. “The hell I did!”
He used the same voice when he addressed her again, while continuing the spanking. “You did. You knew exactly what would happen if you had a temper tantrum, and you knew exactly what would happen if you chose to use that kind of language. Now be still and accept this. You’ve earned it, so now take what you’ve earned.”
“Ooohhh! This is so frustrating! Ow! Please, not so hard!”
“Gina, we talked before about appreciating things more when you earn them. You have definitely earned this, so appreciate it now, and learn from it. The first step in doing that is accepting it as something you�
�ve earned.”
He continued the spanking, talking again about her temper, and then touching on her language. When she quit fighting and trying to break free from his hold on his lap, he gave her six more good swats, then stopped. He rubbed her back a bit as she got control of her breathing, then helped her up and onto his lap.
He wrapped her in his arms and encouraged her to cry out her frustrations, insisting she’d feel better. She did just that, leaning against his chest as she cried. He rubbed her arm while she cried, helping her calm. When she was breathing normally again he asked, “Okay now?”
Without looking up at him, she whispered, “I hate those.”
He chuckled. “Then stop earning them. That’s the whole objective here, you know.”
“I’m starting to get that,” she said slowly and quietly.
They talked for several minutes, while he made sure she was okay.
She assured him she was okay, but needed to go to the bathroom and touch up her makeup. While she was gone he made a phone call. When she came back out, he handed her her purse. “Come on, Gina, we’re going for a ride. There’s someone I want you to meet.”
She froze. “Who? Where are we going? Do I need to change first?”
“You look fine. Come on, I’ll explain on the way.” Without giving her much chance to object, he led her by her elbow to his car and helped her inside.
Once they were out of her neighborhood she asked, “Okay, where are we going?”
“To a homeless shelter for ladies.”
“Oh, no, we’re not. Take me back home. You can go there if you want, I don’t want to.”
He pulled into a parking lot and turned the car off so they could talk. “Why not?”
“Why would I want to go there?”
“Gina, I think this is important for this program to work. I want you to meet and talk to one or two of the ladies there.” She wrinkled her nose and shuddered. “And right there’s the reason why. You wrinkled your nose at the thought, but you haven’t even met or talked with any of them. If you’d give them half a chance and just talk to them, I think you’d be surprised.”
Gina and Paul (Last Chance Program Book 2) Page 12