Wild Innocence

by McCarthy, Candace

  Her heart skipped a beat. Or because he hadn’t been ready to leave her?

  Rachel wanted to ask him, but didn’t. She gazed surreptitiously at him instead, trying to gauge his mood. Her inattention to her path had her stumbling, but Black Hawk’s arm shot out and he saved her from falling.

  “Miigwech, ” she said, feeling her cheeks flush. Apparently, he was more alert than she’d thought. She felt the warm flush of heat deepen. Had he noticed her studying him?

  He looked at her, really studied her for the first time since they’d left the village. “You have been quiet,” he murmured, his dark gaze roaming her face.

  “So have you.”

  He inclined his head in agreement.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked. It seemed that she was always asking that question, she thought.

  “Gaawiin. ” No.

  The two became silent again as they spotted Amelia and Daniel’s horse.

  Feeling awkward suddenly, Rachel picked up her pace to reach her sister, until she felt Black Hawk’s hand on her arm, slowing her. She glanced at him, expecting him to warn her against tripping along the trail. Instead, she saw his gleaming gaze, his sensual smile. Her skin tingled.

  Rachel halted and stared at him with her pulse racing. She saw his expression change as if he fought his inner thoughts.

  “Rach-el, I—” With a groan, he grabbed and kissed her. Rachel’s heart floated free as she responded. His kiss was better than she’d remembered. She embraced him, leaned into him, and a whimper came from deep in the back of her throat as he explored her mouth.

  His breathing was labored as he set her away. She felt dizzy, wonderfully dizzy, as everything female within her pulsated to life.

  “I am sorry,” he said.

  She blinked to clear the haze. “No,” she protested, “don’t say that. Don’t apologize.” She was on the verge of tears. He cares for you. Don’t do this to yourself, she thought.

  With a hand at her spine, he urged her to walk. She was surprised by his touch, confused by his mixed signals.

  She gazed ahead while she walked, wondering what he was thinking, conscious of the heat of his continued touch. She felt a glimmer of hope when he didn’t remove his hand.

  The trail widened, the terrain becoming easier to negotiate, but still she could feel Black Hawk’s fingers at her back.

  Amelia hailed her from ahead. Now seated sideways on the saddle, she waved at her sister from within her husband’s arms. “Are you tired?” she asked.

  Still, Black Hawk stayed close to Rachel.

  “No!” Rachel called back. “I’m fine!” And at the moment, she felt more than fine. Black Hawk had kissed her, then instead of withdrawing, as she’d expected, he seemed content to remain close.

  She was disappointed a short time later when Black Hawk released her. She saw that the soldiers to the rear had caught up to them, and she wondered if it was their presence that had prompted him to step away.

  Rachel realized that she’d thought wrong when suddenly Black Hawk captured her fingers as he took a firm grip of her hand. She caught his gaze and smiled at him.

  The barest hint of a grin touched his lips, but the look in his onyx eyes spoke volumes. She felt lighthearted as she beamed a smile at him.

  All too soon, they reached the mission. Rachel felt the change in Black Hawk as they approached. He released her hand, and pulled away.

  She mourned the loss of the sun, for an inner darkness had descended as he withdrew. She dared to look at him and touch his arm.

  He gazed at her with a look of pain that stole her breath.

  He doesn’t think he’s coming back! she thought as they entered the mission yard. She opened her mouth to tell him that she’d wait for him, but she was startled to silence by a male voice from her past.

  “Rachel! Rachel Dempsey!”

  Rachel froze and stared in disbelief at her former fiancé as he left the church. “Jordan?”

  Jordan Sinclair hurried toward her, a boyish grin on his handsome features. Halting before her, he gazed into her eyes. “Hello, darling. I’ve been searching for you everywhere.”

  “Jordan!” she exclaimed; then she was suddenly swept up in the man’s embrace. “What are you doing here?”

  Chapter 23

  Jordan’s kiss transported Rachel back in time to those pleasant days when they were an engaged couple. The scent and embrace of the man who held her were all too familiar. Familiar perhaps, she thought, and pleasant, but not as exciting as Black Hawk’s kiss. She pushed him away.

  Jordan released her and studied her. “You look radiant, Rachel! Wonderful!” Anxiety transformed his features, darkening his blue eyes. “I thought I’d never see you again! I was frantic when I heard what happened!”

  Rachel’s head was in a whirl. The sudden appearance of her former fiancé had shaken her; she could barely think straight.

  Black Hawk, she thought, and started to turn, but Jordan caught her shoulders.

  “Rachel!” he gasped; then he kissed her and stole her air, and she was powerless to break free. “Oh, Rachel,” he said when he lifted his head. “You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to kiss you.” He started to lean toward her again; she put out her hand and stopped him.

  “Don’t, Jordan!” she demanded. Then she looked back for Black Hawk, and felt a jolt of pain when she didn’t see him.

  “Rachel, I can explain,” Jordan began.

  She narrowed her gaze. “Where’s your wife?” she said, and was surprised at how bitter she sounded. She had, after all, gotten over the man, hadn’t she?

  She was relieved to see her father approaching. She felt grateful when she saw Amelia and Daniel following him. Her family eyed her and Jordan quizzically.

  Jordan hadn’t answered her last query. She tore her gaze from her family to the man she’d considered spending her life with. “Nanette’s dead,” he said sadly.

  Rachel was startled by the news. “I’m sorry,” was all she could think of to say. The implication of his presence dawned on her, renewing her anger.

  “So your wife is dead,” she said evenly, “and you thought you could come to me and I would take you back.”

  A guilty look entered his expression. He was so handsome, she thought. His golden brown hair had been cut in the latest style. His eyes, a deep shade of blue, had the power to seduce and capture many a young lady’s heart. He had the classic features of a Greek god, like the ones recreated in statues and paintings. As she studied him, she understood why she’d fallen for him with his good looks and easy charm. What she didn’t understand was why she didn’t see through to the basic selfish core of him.

  “It was always you Lloved, Rachel. Always,” he said vehemently.

  “Yet you married another, a woman almost twice my age! And not only did you marry her, you didn’t have the bullocks to tell me before our wedding. No, you had to leave me at the church!”

  The gasps she’d heard alerted her to her family’s presence. So now they knew the truth, she thought. They knew that she had lied about her reasons for leaving Baltimore. They understood now what a failure as a woman and a fiance she’d been.

  The silence that followed her outburst seemed louder than any noise.

  “Rachel,” her sister murmured; then Rachel felt the love of her family surround her, just when she needed it the most. Black Hawk was gone, and Jordan Sinclair stood before her, ready to take her back. But she didn’t want him to take her back. No, she thought, I want Black Hawk.

  But would she ever see Black Hawk again? Did he love her and would they ever have a chance?

  Rachel closed her eyes, summoning the image of Black Hawk’s face those moments after his last kiss. She recalled the intensity in his dark eyes. The emotion. He felt something for her, she decided. But love? But whether or not he’d return safely and successful was a different story. And if he returned successful, would he tell her of his feelings?

  There had never been talk of marri
age between them, of anything but friendship. But she couldn’t deny that he was physically attracted to her ... and more. He would have left before she’d awakened that morning if he hadn’t cared for her.

  She was aroused from her thoughts by her father’s voice.

  “Young man, are you bothering my daughter?”

  “Daughter!” Jordan exclaimed. “You’re Dr. Dempsey?” At John’s nod, he said, “Sir, I love your daughter.”

  John frowned. “She doesn’t seem to be too happy to see you—”

  “Father—” Rachel began.

  “Rachel.” Daniel stepped forward. “If you’d like me to get rid of this scalawag, just say the word and I’ll be happy to—”

  “Daniel!” her sister cried. “You’ll not be fighting, do you hear? Why don’t you ask Rachel exactly what she wants?” Amelia said to her father and husband.

  “If I can get a word in edgewise,” Rachel said, “I’ll be happy to introduce Jordan.”

  The three members of her family glanced at her with anticipation.

  “Father, Daniel, Amelia, this is Jordan Jonathan Sinclair II. He and I were ... friends ... back in Baltimore.” She sensed Jordan’s annoyance at the explanation of their relationship.

  John Dempsey’s gaze narrowed on the young man. “Is this the young rascal who’s been an annoyance?” he said.

  Apparently, she’d been wrong, Rachel thought. Her father couldn’t have heard her and Jordan’s exchange.

  “Not exactly,” she said.

  “Has someone been bothering you?” Jordan asked, looking ready to do battle for Rachel’s honor. “Because if someone is, I’ll—”

  The sudden humor of the situation struck Rachel, and she began to laugh loudly, half hysterically, until the murmurs of concern from her family made her stop.

  “No, I’m all right,” she said in answer to her sister’s query. “Just give me a minute.”

  They all stared at her. “Please,” she said, “I’ll talk with the rest of you later. Apparently there are a few things that Jordan would like to discuss with me.”

  “Are you sure?” Amelia said. She eyed her sister with concern.

  Rachel gave her a genuine smile. “Yes, I’m sure.” Her gaze went to Daniel. “You’ll stay at the mission awhile?” she asked him.

  He nodded his blond head. “I’d hoped for a meal.”

  “I’m sure we’ll be able to find something to eat.” Rachel addressed her father. “I’m all right, Father, really,” she said. He looked worried. He’d had enough worries and regrets since the first appearance of Clouds-at-Morning. She felt the need to reassure him more than anyone else.

  Reluctantly, her family left, and she and Jordan were alone.

  “Rachel, I can explain about Nanette,” he said, his expression pleading for understanding.

  “There had better be a good explanation, Jordan,” she said firmly. “I still can’t believe that you’re here.”

  Black Hawk had stood in the forest and watched Rachel with the white man. He’d known instantly that the man had once been important to her, that Jordan was the reason she’d left her Baltimore home.

  When the couple had embraced, the shaft of pain he’d felt had nearly paralyzed him. This is the man she loves, he’d thought.

  He’d been wrong to kiss her again. He’d fought the urge, but his departure and the knowledge that he might never see her again hung heavy in his heart.

  Rachel had forgotten his existence from the moment the white man had called her name. Black Hawk had waited for a second for her to turn around; and when she didn’t, he’d slipped away unnoticed ... aching from his loss of her.

  Be happy, Rachel, he thought. Be happy with your Jordan.

  Then, without waiting for his friends, Black Hawk left the mission, leaving his heart behind him.

  Rachel and Jordan walked to the stream beyond the mission church. There, Rachel turned to her former fiance and studied him.

  “Well? You said you wanted to explain.” As she gazed at the man before her, she compared him unfavorably to Black Hawk. She thought Black Hawk’s sharp, rugged features much more attractive than Jordan’s smooth handsome face.

  Black Hawk, she thought, longing for him. How far had he gone? Was he all right? Would he find his killer? Would he return safely? She was continually plagued by concern for him.

  Jordan drew her attention back to him when he caught her hands and held them tightly. His expression was earnest as he gazed into her eyes. “First, I want to say that I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you, not even for a second.”

  “You already said that—”

  He raised her one hand to his lips and kissed the knuckles as he’d often done in the past. Unmoved, she stared at him while she waited for him to continue.

  “You’re angry,” he said. He gave her a boyish smile meant to charm. He caressed the back of her hand.

  Annoyed, she tugged her fingers from his grip. “And I shouldn’t be?”

  “Well, yes, I suppose so.”

  “Explain, Jordan. I don’t have that much time. I’m anxious to get back to my family.”

  His eyes flickered. “Your aunt said you’d be hard to convince. I guess she was right.”

  “Aunt Bess?” Rachel gave him her full attention. “You saw her?”

  Pleased by her interest, he nodded. “How do you think I knew where to look for you?”

  “Aunt Bess told you where I’d gone?” She was startled by the news. She hadn’t thought her father’s sister would give away her whereabouts.

  “She tried to discourage me, but I was persistent.”

  She narrowed her gaze. “Yes, I suppose you were.” When she thought back, she realized that Jordan Sinclair never gave up until he’d gotten what he wanted.

  “It wasn’t easy coming here, you know.”

  “I’ve been on the journey,” she said. “I know what it’s like.” She had little sympathy for a man who would leave his fiancée to face the humiliation of being jilted.

  “I found that Rupert fellow. Miranda’s uncle?” Jordan scowled. “Not a pleasant sort at all. He wouldn’t bring me. I had to hire someone else.”

  Rachel stifled a smile. “I found Rupert quite pleasant.”

  Jordan stared at her as if she’d gone mad. “You’ve changed,” he said.

  “Really?” she said with scorn. “Well, if I have, it’s because you’ve changed me.”

  He leaned to pull her into his arms. She resisted, stiffening. He caught hold of her shoulders and bent his head as if to kiss her.

  “No!” she said firmly, jerking away.

  He pouted like a petulant little boy. “I told you I was sorry.”

  She sighed. “Jordan, if you think that a simple apology is going to make the past go away, you’re wrong. I’ll not allow myself to believe your fancy lies again.”

  He blanched, as if wounded by her words. “I meant what I said, back then and now.”

  “Meant what? That you wanted to marry me? Or what you’d said in your note ... that you’d decided the widow would make a better wife!” The pain of his note that day returned to further anger her. “You had your chance with me, Jordan. You had it and you ruined it.”

  “No,” he cried, trying to draw her into his arms again. “Don’t say that! I love you. I must have another chance! Do you think I’d come all this way if I didn’t love you?”

  His statement aroused her curiosity. “Why did you come?” she asked. He wasn’t capable of love, she thought.

  “My wife—” He blushed as if he’d just realized to whom he was speaking. “She left me everything. I married her for that, don’t you see? She promised to give me her estate if I’d marry her and care for her during her illness. She knew she was sick, Rachel. She married me because she needed someone she could trust, and I was the only one she trusted.”

  Rachel gazed at him with disbelief. “You married her for her money?”

  “For us, Rachel! For us!” Jordan stepped back to p
ace.

  “We needed money for our future! With Nanette’s estate, we’ll have everything. Our love, a mansion ... and lots of money! Think what we can do for our children with the money.”

  “How much money?” she asked. She wanted to know how much money it had taken to destroy their love.

  He named a figure that made her gasp.

  He smiled. “And that’s not all,” he said proudly. “There’s the rent on the land and the investments in the mercantile.”

  “Oh, and I suppose there is a great deal of land?”

  He nodded, looking pleased.

  “And you married for us,” she said. “You and me.”

  “Yes.” He smiled. “I knew you’d understand.”

  “For her money.”

  “For our future,” he insisted.

  “I see,” she said. She touched her chin as she studied him. “I understand perfectly. You married a sick widow for her money, thinking that eventually you’d be free to marry me.”

  “Yes, yes, that’s right.”

  “That’s despicable.”

  The good humor fell from his face. “What?”

  “I can’t believe you’d think I’d marry you after what you’ve done.”

  Jordan’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red. “But—”

  “You didn’t even have the decency to tell me to my face. You sent a note! I’d never been so humiliated in all my life!”

  “Rachel, I’m sorry.”

  She glared at him. “Well, I’m sorry, too, Jordan. I loved you. We could have had a wonderful life together, but now I don’t love you anymore.”

  His face lost color. “You don’t mean that.”

  Her smile was grim. “Yes, yes, I do.”

  “I came all the way out here for you!” he exclaimed.

  “I didn’t ask you to come!” she shouted.

  He grabbed her then, forced her to accept his kiss. “I can make you want me.”

  She eyed him coldly. “No, you can’t.” She didn’t slap him. She just didn’t care enough to do anything but stare.

  “I thought you were different,” he said. He narrowed his gaze as he studied her. “You look different.” His eyes widened with sudden understanding. “There is someone new.”