Lifeless

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Lifeless Page 20

by Jennifer LaRocca


  “I’m sure he’ll figure something out. Maybe you should take a couple of days off. After everything that’s happened, you need some R&R.”

  She was right. I needed to take some time off. Matt had suggested that I use bereavement leave when I told him about my dad passing away, but I told him I didn’t need it. Now seemed like a great time to use it though.

  I told Jules that I’d be back in a few minutes. I wanted to go ahead and call Matt and get it out of the way. I checked my phone again to see if I received any messages before I called Matt, and again, nothing was there. It hurt knowing I’d never hear from him again, but I needed to stop thinking about it.

  Matt said that he understood my needing to take some days off. I told him that I’d be back on Thursday but that someone would need to take over going to the studio. He said that he’d take care of it and that he’d see me on Thursday.

  I went back out into the living room to see Jules. “Okay, I’m off until Thursday.” I dropped to the couch and folded my arms across my chest. I kept trying to get the image of Kade out of my head from last night, but it just kept coming back.

  “Good,” Jules said, “I think we should veg on the couch for the rest of the night and watch movies on Netflix. Something funny, what do you think?”

  I knew she was trying to help me get the situation with Kade off my mind. I could hug her for it. “Sure,” I said, managing a smile.

  That’s what we did Saturday night and Sunday. It helped a lot just having girl time, which we hadn’t done in a really, really, long time. We watched movies and ate takeout and a bunch of junk food. I think I might have gained ten pounds in two days, but it was all worth it.

  When Monday rolled around, it wasn’t so hard getting out of bed. I still didn’t sleep well the night before, but it wasn’t as bad as the first night. Tuesday was much easier, and after Jules insisted that we drink wine and watch reruns of her favorite show, I ended up sleeping like a baby.

  By Wednesday, I finally felt as if I could breathe. My heart still ached for Kade. I missed seeing him. It took everything I had not to Google him just so I could see his face, but I managed to get by.

  I also started thinking a lot more about what happened that night, in a rational sense. I still wanted to know what he was involved in and why he had started using again. I knew it wasn’t healthy to dwell on these kinds of things, but I just needed to know. I thought maybe it would bring me some kind of peace.

  It didn’t.

  I decided the first thing I’d do was Google the name that guy Frank kept calling Kade. At first, I wasn’t spelling it correctly, but I managed to get it right, and I was shocked by what I found out.

  If I was reading this correctly, then the DiCosola family was involved with drugs, weapons, prostitution, and human trafficking. According to one of the articles I read, Frank DiCosola had been investigated multiple times, but had never been convicted of anything due to a lack of evidence.

  That must be why Bryce was working undercover.

  I also read an article on Kade’s parents, but it never mentioned anything about them having a son. I wasn’t sure what to think about that. If his parents were murdered and he was in danger, I could only imagine the police would make him disappear. I wasn’t sure how all that worked though.

  After spending hours on the computer, I didn’t realize how late it was until I heard Jules come in the front door. Looking down at the little clock on my laptop, I saw that it read 4:47 pm. Damn, I’d been at it all day.

  She came into the living room and sat down next to me as I closed my laptop.

  “Hey, chica.” She smiled at me. “You need to go take a shower and put on something sexy. We’re going out tonight.”

  I lifted an eyebrow at her. “We are?”

  “Yes,” she insisted. “You’ve been stuck in this house for three days. It’s time to get you back out there. Plus, it’s girls’ night at The Sinners Club. We drink for free.”

  Just the mention of the club made me cringe. I couldn’t go there. That was where I first met Kade and where we had our first kiss. It’d be too much. I didn’t think I could handle it. It was too soon.

  “I can see the look on your face, Letti. You aren’t getting out of this. You need to get out and have a good time. I promise I won’t let you stop and think about him for one minute. Plus, I really need a drink. Jess started back at work on Monday, and she’s already driving me nuts.”

  I was shocked. “Matt let her come back after what happened?”

  “Yeah, you know he’s a sucker. She talked her way back in, and I’m going to warn you now that she’ll probably be at the club too. I overheard her talking to someone on the phone about meeting him at the club.”

  “Ugh.” I sighed. The last thing I wanted to do was run into Jess. “I really don’t want to, but I guess a few drinks won’t hurt. You have to promise that when I’m ready to go we’ll leave though.”

  She stood up and jumped up and down, clapping her hands like she won a prize or something.

  “Yay, I promise. Now go take a shower. I’ll help you pick out something to wear and do your hair and makeup. I want to be there by eight so we can get a table. Brent said that girls’ night gets packed really early.”

  ~*~

  After my shower, it took us, or I should say Jules, exactly one hour to figure out what to wear. She had clothes thrown all over her floor, but finally settled on a red mini dress. Then we had to pick out something for me. Since I didn’t have anything new, Jules decided that I needed to wear something of hers. She picked out an emerald green one-shouldered dress. It went just above mid-thigh and fit like a glove. I put on my sparkling silver heels, and I was ready to go after she did my hair and makeup. I looked at the clock. It was seven-thirty. It had taken us three hours to get ready. I never realized we took so long.

  “We look smoking hot,” Jules proclaimed. “Now it’s time to do our shots.”

  I walked over to the bar while Jules fished out the shot glasses and tequila bottle. I swear we went through tequila as if it were water.

  “Here’s to a night out with my girl. May we see some really hot guys tonight.” She smiled at me before we both downed our shot.

  “You do know that I won’t be looking. I’m done with guys right now,” I announced as I picked up my silver clutch.

  I had no room in my head for anything else other than what was already there. I think I’d done way too much research that day. I really hoped Jules was able to get my mind off of everything as she said. I really needed a break from life.

  Jules burst out laughing. “Whatevs, Letti. We’ll see about that,” she said with an evil grin as we headed out the door for our waiting cab.

  ~*~

  Arriving at the club brought back memories of Kade, but I pushed them aside as we made our way inside. We were able to skip the line once again due to Jules’ connection with Brent. I could definitely get used to it.

  Jules headed off to the bar, and I followed behind her. Halfway there, I could see Brent with his back to us. Jules wrapped her arms around him, and he turned to smile at her.

  “Damn, babe, you’re so sexy,” he said with a huge smile on his face. He then leaned down and kissed her passionately.

  No, don’t mind me standing her while you make out in front of me. How was this supposed to make me forget about Kade?

  That was when I noticed a guy standing at the bar next to Brent, and he was looking my way with a smile. He was tall, with perfectly combed brown hair, bright blue eyes, and dark complexion, and he was wearing a suit sans tie, just like Brent.

  I knew it. Jules was trying to set me up already. I laughed and looked away from the guy. Unbelievable.

  When she finally pulled herself away from Brent, I cleared my throat. “So are we going to get a drink or what?” It was definitely time to self-medicate with some alcohol.

  “What would you like, Scarlett?” Brent asked.

  Tonight called for something stronger than a
beer. “I’ll have a Captain and Coke, please. Two shots.”

  Jules looked at me with an eyebrow raised. I looked back at her with my “what”’ expression. If I were going to be hanging around her, Brent, and the new guy, then I wanted something strong.

  Jules grabbed at my arm and pulled me closer to the bar. “I hope you don’t mind, but Brent invited his friend, Dave,” she said with a mischievous grin.

  I gave her the death stare and she laughed. She knew that I wouldn’t be rude. This wasn’t the first time she’d done this to me. So being the sucker I was, I reached my hand out to Dave.

  “Hi, Dave, I’m Scarlett. It’s good to meet you.” I plastered on the best smile I could round up.

  He firmly shook my hand. “It’s really nice to meet you too.” He smiled. He took a moment to look me over. I knew he had already checked me out, but he was doing it now to be obvious. “You’re stunning.” He winked at me.

  “Thanks.” I blushed. Of course, I would blush. This guy was totally not my type, but he was still good-looking.

  I looked over at Jules, who was trying to hide her grin. I’d definitely be having some words with her later. First, I needed my drink.

  “Here you go, Scarlett.” Brent handed me my drink, and I took a huge gulp and thanked him.

  “Come on, let’s go get a table,” Jules said, grabbing my hand.

  We ended up sitting at the same table that we sat at on opening night: right next to the dance floor, just the way we liked it.

  The night wasn’t turning out as bad as I thought it was going to. It turned out Dave was partners with Brent on a club out in California and was looking to possibly open up his own club out here in Atlanta. He conversed really well, but I just wasn’t interested. I could tell throughout the night that he kept moving his chair closer to mine, and he would find different ways to touch me when he could.

  It didn’t bother me too much because I was downing my Captain and Cokes. By the third one, I told Jules I wanted to dance. We told the guys we’d be back after a few songs. I was glad they didn’t insist on coming out with us, because I wouldn’t have been able to handle Dave putting his hands all over me while we were dancing.

  When we got out to the dance floor, I could tell I was pretty tipsy, but I knew once I started to dance that it wouldn’t be so bad. I smiled over at Jules as she started to shake her hips. I was glad that she got me out of the house. She always managed to put a smile on my face when I was down.

  After bumping and grinding for two songs, I turned to look over at our table, not surprised to see that the guys were watching us. I just smiled and waved. I really hoped Dave didn’t think he was going to get lucky that night.

  Turning back toward Jules, I started to scan the crowd.

  I stopped dancing and focused on the corner of the room. Bryce was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, and he was staring right at me. What the hell was he doing here? Then I saw Paul walk up next to him and say something in his ear. Bryce nodded his head and then looked over toward the other end of the club where all the secret rooms were located.

  I followed his gaze, and I felt as if someone had just stabbed me in the stomach. I could feel Jules come up behind me.

  “Hey, what’s the—” She obviously saw what I saw.

  I could feel the tears flowing down my face as I tried to figure out how this could be real.

  There, in all his sex and glory, was Kade, and trailing behind him was none other than slutty Jess.

  “That fucking bitch,” Jules cussed in my ear.

  I couldn’t move my gaze. I just stood there and stared as everyone else on the dance floor danced around me. I watched as Jess grabbed Kade’s head and whispered something in his ear then gave him a soft kiss on his lips. I was breathing so heavily, trying to contain my outburst of tears that I thought I would faint if I didn’t get a hold of myself.

  Jess walked away and spotted us on the dance floor, but my focus wasn’t on her. It was on Kade. I watched as he walked over to Bryce and Paul. Bryce was still looking at me, which caused Kade to look my way.

  We locked eyes.

  For just a split second, it looked as if he were sorry that I saw him there, but then he turned back toward Paul, saying something, and then they started to walk away.

  I could briefly hear Jules cussing out Jess. Then, out of nowhere, Jules punched Jess right in the face. I barely registered Jess falling to the floor, because my feet were moving—moving in the same direction that Kade had gone. They were about to exit the club when I called out his name.

  He didn’t stop right away, but after the second time I called his name, he slowed down and stopped. He just stood there with his back to me while I panted, trying to catch my breath. Paul had walked out, but Bryce was standing a couple of feet away from Kade, just looking at me, but I paid him no attention.

  “Aren’t you . . . going to . . . look at me,” I panted.

  I had gotten control over my tears, but I knew my face looked a mess. So when he finally turned and looked at me with sympathy and regret written all over his face, I lost it. I slapped him across the face as hard as my little body would let me, making his head snap to the side.

  “You’re a fucking asshole,” I yelled through my tears, which had decided now was an appropriate time to reappear.

  I could see the tension in his jaw as he slowly looked back at me. I was heartbroken all over again. Just having him look at me brought all my feelings back to the surface. Out of all the hurtful things he’d done, this topped them all. I knew we were over earlier, but he just sealed the deal that night.

  He nodded at me with a frown and then walked out of the door. Out of my life. He was leaving for California the next morning, so I knew I’d never see him again. I stared at the door, secretly hoping he would come back, but I knew that wouldn’t happen.

  I looked over at Bryce, who was still standing there. He moved a step closer to me and looked as if he wanted to say something, but instead gave me a sad smile and walked away.

  A sob was trying to force its way to the surface, but I swallowed it down. I couldn’t be weak anymore. I couldn’t let a man control my emotions. I had cried enough.

  “Did you really just smack Kade across the face?” Jules asked from behind me.

  I turned around to look at her. “Did you really just punch Jess in the face on the dance floor?”

  She burst out laughing. “Hell yeah, I did.”

  I laughed with her. I couldn’t help it. I laughed so hard that leftover tears came from my eyes. It was the kind of laugh that you substituted for sobbing. It was hysterical and unnecessary, but it made me feel better. Afterward, I was drained.

  Jules looked at me with concern. “Are you okay?”

  I frowned at her and wiped my face. I wasn’t okay, but I would be. I looked down at her hand. “You didn’t break anything, did you?”

  She smiled. “No, but it sure hurt like hell.” She let out a short laugh. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

  ~*~

  Thursday and Friday went by as I thought they would. It was hell having to go to work every day. Knowing your slutty coworker slept with your ex was not something I would consider thrilling, but she kept her distance and I was grateful. By Friday night, Jules said she was going to break the stereo I had in my room if she heard me play his song “Lifeless” one more time. I resorted to listening to it on my iPod with my headphones. It was exactly how I was feeling: lifeless. I felt empty and dead inside.

  Saturday was much better than the days before it. I hadn’t cried since the day before, so I was happy to have a day to just relax and do nothing. I had already informed Jules that I wouldn’t be going out this weekend after much pleading on her part. So there I was on a Saturday night, watching reruns of Sex and the City. I didn’t care how many times I’d seen them; they never got old. It didn’t help me get my mind off of Kade, but at least I wasn’t moping in my room any longer.

  I got up to get something t
o drink when I heard a knock on the door. I wasn’t expecting anyone, and seeing as it was eight at night and I had no idea who it could be, I looked through the peephole.

  I opened the door, and Bryce stood there with low-rise, fitted, dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and a black leather jacket. He was all business. I looked at him, confused. I had no idea why he would be showing up at my door.

  “We need to talk,” he said firmly, before he walked in, grabbed me, and kissed me.

  Epilogue

  Kade

  I walked out of the club, rubbing my hand over my cheek. I would never forget the look on her face when I saw her on that dance floor. It hurt deep down, knowing that I was hurting her. She needed to loath me. She needed to feel disgusted when she thought about me. She needed to hate me and never want to see me again.

  I needed her to feel that way. This mess that I was in had no place for her. I wouldn’t let her anywhere near it, more than she already had been.

  “Wow, I didn’t think she had it in her,” Paul said, leaning against the side of the building.

  “Fuck off, Paul.”

  I was not in the mood to listen to his shit. Paul and I grew up together, back when my parents were still alive. He was my best friend back then, but he wasn’t now, and I didn’t like him trying to be all chummy with me.

  “Ah, come on, Nick. There’s plenty of pussy back in California. No need to get all pissy,” Paul smirked.

  I stopped walking to turn and look at Paul. He was adding fuel to the fucking fire. I stalked up to his six-foot frame. I was taller, stronger, and ready to beat the living shit out of something. “Stop fucking calling me NICK!” I was in his face with my finger poking into his chest. My muscles were tense and ready to strike his face. My chest heaved with anticipation. I stared him in the eyes and dared him to say another word.

  He stood there with a pissed-off look of his own, but he knew not to say anything to me. Even though I was in a position I didn’t want to be in, I had a higher rank than he did. I think that was the one thing that pissed him off the most. But he could be pissed off all he wanted. I didn’t fucking want this.

 

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