She dived back underwater, deciding that she'd have to shift again to be able to inspect the crystal. She'd be naked, but who was going to see her down here anyway? The sponges and shrimps didn't seem to care.
St. Kilda
14
She wasn't sure if it was just sheer exhaustion, or if shifting was actually getting easier. But this time, it didn't hurt as much as it had in the past.
Now in human form, she was glad for the warmth of the water, and the way it was enveloping her, making her feel kind of safe and secure, probably for the first time in weeks. Macey knew it was just an illusion, but she was going to enjoy it nonetheless.
The currents pushed against Macey as she walked through it. This was a definite drawback of being in her human form. What wasn't, was the way her eyesight worked. Her kelpie eyes were designed to see the underwater tones, and that meant they couldn't see quite so well above the surface. But now, as a human, she could see everything so clearly. The colours coming from the crystal glittered against the walls, showering the cave in a rainbow of light.
It was bouncing off the water too, which only added to the atmosphere around her.
Macey really wished her men could see this and didn't quite understand why they couldn't. All they'd need would be an enchantment like the storm kelpies had around their heads, and they'd be able to breathe underwater and join her here.
The only answer must have been magic. Only one person could enter, because that was all the gods had decided could.
Macey scoffed. The gods indeed. She couldn't even work out where they fit in. Or why everyone was so convinced they didn't exist, when they actually did. Or had. She wasn't all that clear on that one.
Shaking her head to clear it of any errant thoughts, Macey refocused on the task at hand, striding forward through the water, finding it easier going as it became shallower, the soft waves lapping against her ankles.
The rock floor of the cave was slightly scratchy against her bare feet, but she ignored it. That was really the least of her problems. Her legs burned as she climbed the naturally occurring steps, each one taking her closer to the crystal at the top.
Talia? she called in her head, hoping Air would hear her and respond, but knowing that wasn't likely to be the case. Air had explained that wasn't how it worked, but so far, Macey hadn't seen any of the other Warden's powers manifest in herself.
As she suspected, there was no response from the Warden. Macey guessed she was doing this alone then.
She reached the top of the staircase and found herself level with the pedestal. Reverently, she walked towards it, unsure what to do with herself.
The lights dancing off it only grew brighter as she approached, and she remembered something her Aunt had said when she was younger. She'd called them fairy lights. Dancing against the walls and doors of the palace underwater. It was even more spectacular here. Probably because light behaved differently above the surface of the water.
Macey frowned. Where even was the light coming from? She looked upwards, eager to know the answer, and was relieved to find a small chimney-like hole above her head. That explained the air too. She wasn't likely to suffocate down here, though with her ability to shift, that wasn't really a possibility anyway.
Not sure if it was what she was supposed to do, Macey reached out and placed her hands on the stone. It lit up far more brightly than it had before, and something opened up in her mind.
Images fluttered past her now closed eyes, showing Macey the journeys of the other past Wardens, as well as other creatures who lived around and about these parts. It was a wonder to behold. There was so much culture in this one spot, and she gained a new understanding of the world.
But not of the Staran. She could feel them screaming out to her, and wanting to be healed, but not knowing how. She could even sense them trying to repair the damage that had been done to them.
Tears pooled in Macey's eyes as she felt the pain they had been going through. And it wasn't just the past few months of pain, but years. Decades. Centuries even. This problem was going a lot further back than anyone had even realised.
No wonder the Wardens hadn't managed to fix the Staran. They were acting as more of a band aid than a cure. And therein lay the problem. No one had looked into it. Maybe no one had even be able to sense it. That would make some kind of warped sense, considering the past Wardens had been humans.
That must be the link if her own set were all supernatural. Hope welled up within her. Maybe this meant they really did stand a chance at fixing things. Or maybe not. Maybe they were doomed like every other set of Wardens before them.
Macey dug around inside the connection between her and the crystal, searching for whatever it was that was blocking the Staran from healing themselves.
Finding what appeared to be a rotten part of the line, she mentally followed it, picking up pieces of the healthy Staran and trying to use them to knit everything back together at the same time. Nothing seemed to hold though, leaving it unraveling behind her and leaving the Staran in the same mess as they were before, but thankfully not worse.
Why was this happening? Luch had implied that Macey would know what to do when she was faced with the Staran themselves. Yet, here she was, and she was as confused as ever.
She continued following them down the apparently rotten path, not finding much more to do, but feeling this was her best choice.
After a few moments, something black and foreboding formed in her way, and somehow, she knew this was what was causing all the issues. All she had to do now was work out how to undo it.
Stealing herself mentally, Macey began to poke at the dark mass, turning it around in her head to try and locate its weak points.
Or she did, until a tremor beneath her feet tore her from her task. She steadied herself against the pedestal, while glancing around frantically and trying to ignore the panic welling up inside her.
There was nothing to be seen. No cracks in the walls, no intruder, not even a ripple in the water. She put her hands back on the crystal. It was vibrating slightly. Had it done that before? No, she was sure it hadn't. She reached out for the Staran again and the black mass. As soon as she got close to it, the ground started to shake again. This time, she didn't let go of the stone. She was beginning to realise that the shaking wasn't physical. It was in her mind.
Something was fighting back. But Macey had been fighting off the Voice for weeks, if not months. She was experienced in mental fights by now. This shouldn't scare her. It was only another challenge, nothing more. She reached out again, continuing her scan for the black mass's weak spots, but as soon as she seemed to have found something, the thing wobbled and changed its shape. It was continuously turning and twisting, reforming every second or so. How was she supposed to deal with this? She was sure this was the reason for the Staran's disease. A parasite, embedded deep within them.
"How do I get you out of there?" she whispered to herself, struggling to get a grip on it. It was too slippery and slimy. "And how did you get there in the first place?"
At least now she knew what was wrong with the Staran. It was rather easy to see.
She prodded the black blob with her mental fingers. Suddenly, black sparks shot up, forming a line leading out through the hole in the cave ceiling. A moment later, they'd disappeared, but a suspicion was forming in Macey. She prodded it again, and as before, tiny black flecks sparked. It was as if the mass was sending out a call for help. As if it was connected to others of its kind.
Macey focused on the blob again, but this time, she expanded her senses, exploring its surface.
Yes, there it was! A tiny black string, reaching up into the air, disappearing through the hole. She tried following it with her mind but didn't get very far. Still, it was progress.
Now she knew why healing the Staran wouldn't be enough. Even if this blob disappeared, there were others out there. And maybe they'd be able to infect the Staran once again. They needed to find the root of this strange dark
power.
But she didn't want to leave here without having at least tried healing them. Otherwise travelling on them would get harder and harder with every day that passed and this black mass was allowed to eat the Staran up from the inside.
Somehow, Macey knew that this wasn't going to be a physical battle. No, this was what had been foretold: she was going to fight a mental battle, one within herself. Maybe now was the time to feel a little scared, but she was too determined to let fear get in the way.
She took a deep breath and plunged herself into the Staran, head first. Her body stayed behind but her mind flew along the misty stream of power that was the Staran. Lives and memories flashed past her, far more intense than the short glimpse she'd been given earlier. They were too fast to understand, though, no more than whispers and echoes racing past at an astonishing speed.
Was this what it was like for Cam and Flint to travel on the Staran? She'd never asked them but it seemed it was a lot more comfortable for them than for her - when she had her body with her. Right now, it wasn't too bad.
She flew further, searching for the black mass. But it ended up finding her.
Suddenly, she bumped against an invisible barrier and fell to the ground. She was standing on flashes of light, intermixed with splinters of images and memories. There were whispers in the distance, too faint to understand. She looked up, searching for whatever had stopped her flight. There was nothing. Not even a strange shimmer in the air.
The ground rumbled without warning and Macey swayed, reaching out for something to hold on to but there was no pedestal this time. She fell to her hands and knees, for the first time feeling the cool texture of the ground. She'd been on it barefoot - she was naked, after all - but it was different touching it with her fingers. It was like pliable glass, strangely cool and soft at the same time. And pretty.
No, it wasn't. Black lines were forming in front of her, turning into a spiral swirling on the ground until it became a perfect circle. Macey scrambled to her feet and stepped away from the black circle, but once again, something stopped her from moving further away. With her back against the barrier, she watched as the black began to bubble and rise up, becoming three dimensional. A column. No, wait. A person.
She stared in horror as the black mass slowly turned into someone very familiar.
"Hello, darling," the black Macey said and grinned, exposing sharp black teeth.
15
It was like looking in a mirror. If that mirror was filled with black sludge and didn't quite make any sense.
Macey lifted her left arm, only to see Sludge-Macey do the same. It was disconcerting to say the least.
She closed her eyes for a moment, before opening them, and being disappointed to discover that her opposite was very much still there.
That was annoying. She'd hoped it was just a figment of her imagination. Albeit one that was sitting within her imagination to begin with. She had very little doubt that her version of what the insides of the Staran looked like was different from what they looked like to past Wardens. This was just her interpretation, and she was fine with that.
Opening her eyes, she sighed. Not just a figment of her imagination then. An actual obstacle to overcome. Macey took a deep breath. She could do this.
She could face herself and win.
Even if facing herself was quite possibly the scariest thing she could think of. This was well beyond anything the Voice could do to her. And well beyond any other kind of enemy. This was going to be every doubt, and every fear she had, all rolled into one, and presented in a way that could weaken her to her very core.
"What do you want?" she demanded of herself.
Sludge-Macey giggled. "Everything," it responded.
Macey refused to accept that the thing was her and tried to change it back into a blob in her head. Alas, it did not seem to work.
"Sorry, but that's just not going to be possible."
"Is it not, Macey?" Sludge-Thing said. It even went as far as brushing a strand of its hair behind its ear, smiling as it did.
"No. You can't have anything."
"Not even your three, lovely men. Strong, aren't they? Virile, affectionate. Everything anyone could possibly want from a man. And you get three..."
Macey shivered, not fully aware of where this was going, or how worried she should be. What was this thing's game?
"But I have a question for you," it said.
"What is it?" Macey snapped.
"Why on earth, or on the Staran even, would they love you? You're just a little loch kelpie a long way from home," the thing sneered.
"So?" Macey prompted. "There's nothing wrong with being a loch kelpie. It's not like I had any choice in where I was born." Her thoughts flitted towards Aunt Nessie, but she pushed them to the side. That wasn't the kind of thing she wanted the Sludge-Macey to pick up on.
"Oh, I see where your mind went there," it taunted. "Don't think I don't know your thoughts, Macey."
"If you know my thoughts, then surely you know you're not going to win." Macey tried not to make it sound like a question, but she wasn't completely convinced she'd managed. Oh well, it wasn't like she had any other choice but to go with it any more.
"Oh, Macey, Macey, Macey. Hasn't anyone ever told you that you are always your own worst enemy?" the thing said.
"Then surely I'm also my own best ally." She straightened her spine and faced off against the thing. "You can question how much my men love me, and why, and that's fine. But you can't change that I know it deep down in my soul. They love me with every fibre of their beings. Just like I love them. So, stop questioning something I know is true."
Macey wasn't sure where the words had come from, but they'd burst out of her all of a sudden, and she had absolutely no doubt they were true. Even if Flint was the only one who'd ever said the words out loud. It didn't matter. They loved her. She knew that. Their bond was one that couldn't be broken, even by the anxiety of her own soul.
"If you think your men are your only weak spot, then you're kidding yourself," the thing changed tactics.
"You're right. They're not my only weakness. But I hardly see why that matters. Isn't being brave about doing something despite being scared? Or despite the fact it's not something you're good at?" Macey asked.
All she received in response was stunned silence.
"I will hold up my hands and say I am scared. I'm filled with doubts over whether or not I can do the task that's been assigned to me. A lot of responsibility is on my shoulders, and it is a lot to take. Particularly when I have my own demons to face. But I am damned well going to do it regardless. Failure is not an option and I won't be letting my own little voice defeat me."
She'd ended up shouting the words, but in some ways, was glad for that. It made them ring truer in her own mind. And hopefully to the Sludge-Thing too.
"Oh, Macey. Don't you think you're too weak for this?" it tried. But even Macey could tell it was beginning to flag.
She had her weaknesses, but she was going to own them. There was really no other choice in her head. This must have been the mental battle the past Warden had mentioned to her. She hadn't even considered that she might have to fight it against herself. The Voice would have been her first guess, but apparently not.
Such an odd thought that she was one of her own worst enemies.
"I am weak, yes. But my strength comes from fighting that," she mused aloud. "I don't know everything, but I have Cam for that. I don't always have it all together, but I have Jared. Flint would do anything to fight for me. I have Amber to be a friend even when I can't be to myself. And I'm not really sure about Izban, but I'm sure he provides something I can't for myself too. Alone, I might be too weak to complete the task that's been set for me. In that, you're correct. But I am not alone. And even if you're really a part of me, you shouldn't be fooling me into thinking that I am alone."
A warm wind rose and touched her skin gently. She smiled.
"And I have Air with me, too
. I will never be alone, even though it might seem like that at first. Now go back to where you came from. I have work to do."
Now it was sludge-Macey's turn to smile. "As you wish," she said with a wicked grin before launching herself at Macey.
Instead of crashing into her, the fake Macey puffed out of existence as soon as she touched her doppelganger. At first, nothing happened, but just when hope began to appear, Macey crumbled to the ground, clutching her head in agony.
"You're not rid of me yet!" a voice inside her mind said, a voice very similar to her own. No, the same. They'd taken their battle from the Staran into her mind. Macey wasn't sure if that was better or worse. At least they couldn't injure the Staran further in here, right? All that could break was her mind... not as important for the fate of the world... she hoped.
"How do I get rid of you?" Macey asked, hoping that the evil her would confide that secret. Somehow, the evil people in stories always did share their plans at some point.
"You do know that I can hear you?" the sludge-Macey sneered. "I know what you think, so don't even try and come up with a plan. I'll know what you intend at the same time as you do. There's no chance of you winning. How about you give in now and stop wasting time?"
"I can't do that. You're hurting the Staran and through that, you're destroying the lives of supernaturals all over the place. You need to leave."
Sludge-Macey laughed. "And why would I do that? I like it here. It's a comfortable place, and so many lives to feed from. Whenever someone travels through here, I get to see a bit of their memories. They're delicious, you should try it sometime."
Macey gasped. "You're eating people's memories?"
"Have you not felt confused after exiting the Staran?"
"Yes, but I thought that was normal..."
The voice inside her mind gaggled. "It is normal, ever since I moved in. It's been a long time, and my appetite has grown. So has that of my brothers and sisters. I believe you have met one of them. He doesn't enjoy memories though; his taste is a little different."
Into the Mists Page 13