by Regan Claire
He turned around and we walked side-by-side up the wooden stairs and into the restaurant my uncle had reserved for the service. The décor seemed out of place for a memorial service, or perhaps the memorial service seemed out of place for the décor. Either way, the surfboards on the walls, and buoys hanging from the ceiling did not make for a somber setting for what was essentially a funeral.
Dove and I walked over to the corner where Cash was being scolded by his mother for not wearing a tie.
“Hey Della. How’s my baby?” Cash used our presence as an excuse to escape Ellis’ fussing. He was also referring to his car as his baby, like a crazy person.
“Oh, I wrecked it a mile back. Had to walk.” I left him with his mouth open and stood in front of Ellis to ask if there were anything I could do to help.
“No honey, not unless you brought something for my son to tie around his neck, we’re fine. You’ve come just in time, people are already starting to arrive,” she said, waving her hand in the direction to a door that led to a porch where the early arrivals were already.
“You didn’t really wreck my Jeep, did you?” Cash asked, trailing a step behind and to my left as I made my way to meet everyone.
“Why would I lie about something like that?” I answered blandly, focused on the feel of Dove’s hand brushing against mine as he walked beside me on my right. Mr. Clure was the only person I recognized, so I walked up to him to try my hand at small talk.
“Hi Mr. Clure. Uh, I’m glad you could make it.” That was about as much small talk as I knew how to speak, but luckily the old man didn’t notice.
“Della, my dear. I wouldn’t miss this. Your mother was a peach, dear, a real peach. So sad to hear that she passed away, though she’d been gone so long… I lived on their street when she was a little girl, you know. Before I had to move to a one story house, that is,” he said.
“No, I didn’t know that,” I answered politely, thankful that Dove and Cash were still close by, though both had entered conversations nearby.
“Oh, yes. We left our kitchen door open especially for her. Kept those ice-pops for the children. The wife and I didn’t have any of our own, but the neighborhood kids were always welcome. Didn’t have to worry about stranger danger so much back then. The wife would always save a red one for her, and she’d come by and have a chat while eating her sweet. Not like the other kids who usually left afterwards. She did that, oh, until she was about thirteen or so and we had to move since my wife’s knees couldn’t handle the stairs anymore.” He spoke fondly, and was the first of many people to take a moment to share a memory with me about my mom.
Dove was right, and I was able to learn so much about her in the next few hours. I discovered that we were at her favorite restaurant, and she always ordered a pizza with spinach and pepperoni. She loved to dance, but was terrible at it. A friend of hers from high school, Sheryl, told me that she’d given my mom a hand-knitted hat for Christmas one year, and that she had insisted on wearing it constantly even though it was badly stitched and a terrible mustard yellow. I found out that my mother was funny and loved practical jokes. That she would pick up any stray animal she found, which drove my grandparents crazy.
Soon it was time for Uncle Connor to speak, I guessed for the eulogy, and we were all ushered into the bar area where dozens of pictures of my mother were laid out. I pushed my way to the front to stand next to Aunt Ellis, glad that I hadn’t lost Dove in the crowd, even though Cash was goodness knew where.
“I’d like to start out by thanking everyone for coming.” My uncle addressed the crowd while a few servers started passing out plastic shot glasses of something I was too young to drink, though they handed me one anyway. “As you all know, we’re here to celebrate the life of my baby sister. A woman who always had a smile on her face, and a joke in her heart. I’ll be honest with you, my sister drove me crazy. I didn’t always understand her, she went at life full throttle. She was stubborn and opinionated, and so smart. That’s what would drive me so crazy about her, her brilliance. Her ability to always be right.” He cleared his throat. “I remember giving her my best big brother advice several times: don’t do this, act this way. She never listened, not once. But she didn’t have to. She knew her path, and while some people might have thought she was reckless, I always knew better. My sister was aware of everything she did. She was my best friend, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing her.
“The past few months I’ve been lucky enough to get to know her daughter, Della.” He pointed his small glass in my direction. “I see so much of Gabby in my niece, especially her strength. Gabby’s death was a true tragedy, not only because she was too young but also because she was robbed of a chance to see her most incredible accomplishment, to see the amazing young woman who is her child. I’m comforted by the thought that Gabby is somewhere watching us, that she can see the love in this room today, and smile with us as we remember her.
“So, let us all raise our glass,” the crowd followed his lead and we all held our shot glasses up “and toast Gabby with her favorite drink. Cheers!” My uncle tossed his head back, draining the small cup in one go. I did the same, bleching at the taste of vodka, limejuice, and orange liqueur assaulting my tongue.
After everyone had done the same, champagne was passed around and anyone who wanted to go to the front and say some words, did.
Every story that I heard, every joke and memory that was shared, made me miss her. It made me wish she were the one sharing these things with me, made me really think about all the things that I’d never had with her, and never would. It was devastating to think that we both missed out on my childhood together. Finally, with my throat clogged with unshed tears, I excused myself for a few minutes. The closest place that could give me guaranteed privacy was the gift shop off to one side of the entrance.
I sat down next to the shelves of t-shirts with my legs bent and to one side since my dress wouldn’t allow for another position without flashing my undies. Fighting to get control of my emotions, I rifled through my purse for my chapstick, really to give myself something to do, and went still as my hand brushed across the velvet bag I had put in there at the bank. I pulled it out and wiped away the single tear that trailed down my cheek.
This was my first time really missing my mother, missing both my parents, really. I was so used to being alone, to being an orphan. It was my norm and I didn’t think too often about what I didn’t have. I’d already seen the photo and letter before, but for some reason I was reluctant to take a second look at them. Chances were that it wouldn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know… except… except now I had other people who could take a look and see if they recognized the man in the picture.
Holding my breath, I pulled out the folded letter and picture. I reread the letter first, finally understanding what their romance meant and why he broke things off. The picture was next and I took a moment just looking at my mom. Smiling, content. Was she already pregnant in this photo? Did she know? My eyes were drawn to the face beside hers, my hand rushing to my face in surprise.
“Hey Della, you down here?” Dove didn’t wait to come down the few steps before I answered.
“Uh, yeah. Yes, I am.” I threw the photo, letter, and bag back into my purse. A shock of adrenaline made my pulse race, and there was no way I would be able to go back to the party and pretend my world wasn’t still spiraling out of control.
“You don’t look okay,” he said while squatting down in front of me.
“There’s just a lot happening right now. Too much.” Another tear leaked out, and I tried casually to wipe it away.
“I’m going to sit down next to you and put my arm around you, is that okay?” Dove asked, understanding my need to be warned before doing something like that. I nodded my head in approval, and let him hold me for a minute. A few more tears let loose, but since he couldn’t see my face I made no attempt to clear them away.
“Can you take me home? I don’t think I can go back in
there,” I asked him, knowing that he would say yes.
“Absolutely. Want me to tell Ellis and Connor where you’re going?”
“You’re a life saver. Yes, please. Can you give Cash his keys back for me, too?” I handed him the keys after we both stood up, and I had to pull my dress down a little since it had ridden up while I was sitting on the floor.
While Dove made my excuses for me, I went outside to wait by his truck. It took about five minutes, but he came around and opened the passenger side door for me when he came back out. Luckily, he didn’t wait to close the door after me, since climbing up to the bench seat was problematic in a dress.
“Do you want to talk about it? Is it about your mom?” He asked after his truck roared to life and we’d driven a few miles down the road.
“Yes and no. I’m sad about her… but I always knew she was gone. You know? Like, if she could have, she would have been there for me. But…” I hesitated.
“But what?” He pushed, just a little.
“But my dad. He’s not dead. Why hasn’t he been around? Why hasn’t he come to me yet?”
“Maybe he doesn’t know,” Dove said, optimistically.
“That’s what I used to think, but I was just being stupid. If he didn’t know about me before, he definitely does now. It’s not like the Elfennol world isn’t abuzz with news of me.” The tears started back up again. “Why doesn’t he want me?” I would get angry later. But just then all I could feel was hurt, the kind of hurt that only an abandoned child can understand. It’s a soul-crushing kind of pain full of insecurities and self-doubt.
Dove stayed quiet for a moment, digesting what I’d just said. We pulled into my driveway, and he cut the engine.
“Come here.” He patted the seat next to him. It was an older truck, and I was able to scoot over so I was next to him. He reached over and lifted me onto his lap, wrapping both arms around me and keeping eye contact with me until I relaxed enough to melt into him. I don’t know why he was always there for my emotional breakdowns, but I was glad he was. I pushed my face into his neck and clung to him, not sobbing, hardly even crying anymore, just taking in what he was offering.
He pulled me back to look me in the face.
“I want you.” His voice was low and melodic, and the way he said it didn’t seem sexual just… genuine. Dove brought his hand up to the side of my face, thumb brushing a stray tear from my cheek and the warmth of his fingers spreading around my neck. He pulled me slowly forward, stopping the motion when we were just inches away from touching. I could feel the heat of his breath on my lips and was mesmerized by the metallic glint in his eyes.
“May I?” he asked, and the arm that was still wrapped around me moved me just a little closer.
I couldn’t speak to answer, so I closed the distance between us, pressing my mouth against his and bringing one hand up to the back of his head, losing my fingers in his thick hair. He groaned, opening his mouth slightly as he kissed me back.
It was a kiss I felt down to my toes and my skin came alive everywhere he was touching me as if I were Tempering Water. His hand dropped from my face and hooked around my legs, pulling me close enough that our bodies pressed together. I didn’t lose myself in his kiss, but was found; I saw myself as he saw me: not damaged, or broken, or incomplete because of my past, but stronger and better because of it.
His hand lingered above my knee, pushing my dress up the smallest amount before he moved it and wrapped his arm around my waist to link his hands behind me. He pulled back before I did, leaving me gasping for him as if he were air.
“I need a minute.” His eyes were wild and his hair tousled. I’d felt powerful before, but the look on his face in that moment made me feel potent in a way I hadn’t experienced before. He leaned his head back with closed eyes and took a few steadying breaths to regain composure. When I tried to climb off his lap he tightened his grasp around me, and lifted his head to look at me.
“Sorry. It was either stop then, or take a cold shower.” His tan face was red. ”So, would you like to go out sometime? Without Cash?” he asked, hands shaking slightly.
I couldn’t help but laugh a little. “I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to ask a girl out before you kiss her.”
“That’s not an answer, Della,” he reminded me with a low voice and a small smile on his lips.
I froze, no longer caught up in the moment, and didn’t know what to say. Luckily Dove had a cure for that, because he pulled me in for another kiss when he felt my body tense above him. It was short, barely more than a peck, but still managed to take my breath away.
“I suppose I can squeeze you into my schedule,” I said as nonchalantly as I could, unsure if he heard me over the thunder of blood rushing through my veins and heating my face. I got off his lap then, trying not to be embarrassed as I looked over at him.
“Good. I thought you were going to make me have to convince you,” he laughed, then got out of the truck and walked around to open my door and help me out of the cab. “Do you want me to stick around until Cash gets here?”
“No, I could use a few minutes alone,” I told him, as we walked up the front steps to my door.
“Okay,” he looked a little disappointed by that. “I’ll call you later after I work out some details for the big night. Plan for Saturday though, okay?” The disappointment was replaced by a shit-eating grin at the thought of our date. His enthusiasm was adorable and made my headspin. When we reached the door he leaned down and stole another short kiss from me, then seemed to float down the stairs, while I just looked after him like a schoolgirl with a crush.
With a sigh, I walked into the house but something wasn’t right. My shields went up while I eased myself into the living room, knowing that there was someone lying in wait for me.
“Hello Della,” I heard a masculine voice say. His back was towards me, and he was looking at the painting of my mother that I had re-hung over the mantel in a place of honor. He turned to face me, his dark blond hair catching a stray ray of sunlight, but I didn’t need to see his face to know who was before me.
“Hello Derek.” The warmth I had just felt in Dove’s arms was gone and I felt made of ice as I addressed my intruder, eyes catching for a brief second on the armlet that circled his forearm, “Or would you rather I just call you Dad?”
EPILOGUE
Torn page from the diary of Llewellyn G. Deare
August 22nd, 1969
Dear Journal,
I just finished a Reading session with Water. I’m hoping if I write down what I saw it will calm my nerves. This was a remarkably clear vision, one of the future, and I was able to hold it for only a minute, but I’m afraid that the small glimpse will haunt my dreams for the remainder of my life.
There is a cyclone, similar to the one I used with Anise all those weeks ago, but immeasurably larger. It was not just of Air, but you could see the energies of the other three elements. In the center, the eye, standing on a round patch of dead earth is a girl. She’s young, about Anise’s age, and strewn before her are the bodies of her enemies. I say enemies, because it is clear by the emotions on her face that they are no friends of hers. She is frightening. Her Shield, which is shown in my vision as if I were Tempering Fire, is made up of Spirit. That in itself is terrifying, since a person able to control all five elements is unheard of and would be extraordinarily powerful.
But the most horrible part, and I can barely write this, is that her Shield is dripping with the blood of the fallen before her. Beading up and dripping down, as if on glass, leaving her clean underneath. It is her cleanliness that is so terrible, since it is surrounded by the evidence of so much destruction.
I cannot tell if the fallen are the Clades. I cannot tell if she is acting the part of a defender of our realm. I only see the destruction around her. I can only tremble in fear as her image will not leave my mind.
Della’s Cheat Sheet
Gathering-
Absorbing energy from the elements (fire, e
arth, air, water, spirit).
Tempering-An internal use of elemental energy. Used to enhance/strengthen depending on which element.
Bending-
External use of elemental energy. Can create or manipulate elements.
Reading-
Use of elements to ‘see’ the past, present, or future. Can’t wait to learn more about this! Could my mom could do this?
Shielding-
Using elemental energy to protect from physical or metaphysical attack. Can also Shield with actual element (ex: Shield made of actual Fire)
Elements:
Earth- Can be found on the ground. Dirt, mud, sand, etc… Energy looks yellow and brown when Tempering Fire.
Tempering: will make you stronger and faster
Bending: create and manipulate earth/dirt, make mini ‘earth-quake’, create objects.
Water- Really? Water… The ocean, rain, anything liquid. Can I Gather from watermelon? Energy is greens and blue-greens when Tempering Fire.
Tempering: works on blood. Makes skin WAY more sensitive and helps with healing
Bending: create and manipulate water, make waves… what about drowning someone on land, or controlling rain clouds? Ask Cash!
Air- Anything with air in it. Note to Self: Remember to Gather the bubble’s from Cash’s coke as revenge for waking me up early. Energy is all shades of Blue when Tempering Fire.
Tempering: enhances vision, hearing, and sense of smell. DO NOT USE TOO MUCH ENERGY!!! It will overload your system!
Bending: create and manipulate wind and air, create tornadoes. Can be used to suffocate someone. Easiest element to bend. Most useful for daily life.
Fire- Any flame, but also anything electrical. Keep stocked up when going away from electricity, CAN BE HARD TO FIND BIG SOURCE IN NATURE! Energy is shades of red and orange when Tempering.