by JM Stewart
“Not that I had many.” The memories flitted through her mind, and heat flooded her face. Boys her age hadn’t noticed her much. She’d gotten teased more than a few times in school for being just another one of the guys, for not being feminine enough. With girls her own age, she’d always been the odd man out.
Jackson turned his head, meeting her gaze. His eyes flashed, there and gone again, but enough that she’d seen it. His voice lowered to a murmur only loud enough for her. “I’m betting it’s because you were shy. It sure isn’t because you aren’t beautiful.”
The desire in his tone sent liquid heat flowing through her veins. That he’d dared to say it with her family so close only fueled the flames. It was like their naughty little secret.
She forced herself to focus, lest she do everything she shouldn’t. “Did they tell you they made me spar each of them?”
He turned his head, looking back over the yard. “Mmm. Your brothers told me they made you prove you could handle yourself. Chase said you took all three of them to the mat.”
“And what did you say to that?”
He darted a glance at her, the corners of his mouth twitching with his effort to hold back a smile. “What makes you think I had anything to say?”
She nudged him with an elbow, but couldn’t resist a smile of her own. “Because I know you. You have something to say about everything.”
Jackson’s grin finally spread. “I told them I believed it, because I’d experienced your skills for myself, and damned if watching you take down a man twice your size wasn’t the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. Chase just grinned. Kyle laughed. Evan told me he’d felt the same thing the first time he watched Malia dance. Then and there, I knew I’d found friends for life.” He pivoted in the direction of the table on the other end of the deck. “Think I’ll say hello to the girls first. See how much hot water I’m in.” He winked before heading away from her at a casual stride.
Becca’s gut tightened as he approached the small group of women. This would tell her how they’d receive his presence tonight, and she found herself holding her breath. But once again, her family surprised her. Malia merely rose from her seat, pulling a flower lei from the table in front of her. It was a custom greeting in Hawaii, where Malia was from, and for every luau they held, Malia made them by hand, stringing strands of flowers together. Tonight’s were yellow and white. She greeted Jackson with a customary kiss on the cheek and draped the lei around his neck like it was any other night.
When her gaze met his again, concern puckered her brow, and she laid a hand against his chest. Her lips moved. Becca couldn’t hear the conversation, but a moment later, Malia’s eyes lit with warmth and amusement and she tipped her head back and laughed.
“Are you hitting on my wife?” To her right, at the opposite end of the deck, Evan called from where he stood with Kyle and Chase beside the grill. A grin spread ear to ear across his face.
Jackson twisted at the waist and lifted the edge of the lei. One corner of his mouth lifted. “Are you aware of what she says when she gives these out?”
Malia pursed her lips, frowning at him, and playfully batted his arm in admonishment. Evan yelled something in return, but Becca quit listening. Instead, her mind focused on the amusement in her brothers’ eyes. The total acceptance. Nobody held a grudge. Her brothers didn’t feel the need to play protectors of the universe. They simply accepted him. The knowledge sank in her belly, cementing the rightness of the night. They were reconnecting and her family appeared to approve.
She released her held breath as hope flickered in her belly. It was the barest sputter of a still-burning ember, but it held the potential to set an entire blaze. If her family could accept him, then maybe she really was doing the right thing.
***
“So, I hear you’ve got yourself a date, Jackson.”
Jackson turned from Malia to the table on his right. Lila sat with her arms folded across her chest, staring at him with an almost smug smile.
He returned a warm smile and sank into a seat beside her. “And I hear congratulations are in order.”
He wouldn’t have called himself nervous when he and Becca arrived. In truth, until this particular moment, he hadn’t cared what anyone else thought. Only Becca’s opinion mattered. For her sake, he’d come to the women first, but seeing Lila’s expression, echoing in the face of every woman seated around the small table, a sense of ease settled into the pit of his stomach. He’d missed these people. They reminded him of everything he yearned for growing up. To see their acceptance and lack of judgment filled him with warmth, relaxing a knot in his stomach.
“Finally.” Lila’s smile melted into softness. She splayed her fingers over the gentle swell of her stomach.
“How far along?”
“Fourteen weeks.” She offered a somber smile, fear written in her eyes. “We wanted to wait until we were past the first trimester before we announced it. Just in case . . .”
Watching her, melancholy hit his chest as Becca’s pregnancy with Allie filled his thoughts. He remembered watching her belly grow and all the emotions he’d felt back then. The fear and excitement, wondering if he’d be a good father. He wanted more children, had wanted brothers and sisters growing up, and wanted the same for Allie.
Back when he and Becca first married, he had ideas about the way life was supposed to work. He wanted to provide for his family first. Looking back now, the notion seemed so old-fashioned, but it was the way he was taught. His parents provided luxury most people never saw. His father instilled a strong work ethic, and Jackson had fallen back on it, like a safety net. Marriage and family scared the hell out of him. He was positive once he wouldn’t be any damn good at it. Allie came as a surprise, but he wanted to get the foundation set before he and Becca brought any more children into the world. He feared nothing he gave them would be enough. Feared he wouldn’t be enough.
Now . . . none of his old ways made sense anymore. The need for more, more children, more time with his family, swelled in his chest. Along with a slew of regret for time lost and gratitude for the new future staring him in the face.
He smiled. “She’ll be beautiful.”
A spark flared in Lila’s eyes. The woman had spunk. She gave Chase a run for his money.
She cocked a fiery brow. “What makes you so sure it’ll be a she?”
Jackson laughed and turned in his seat to watch the gaggle of girls running, screaming, around the yard below the deck.
“Six girls y’all have now. Not a single boy.” He turned around, settling back in his seat and winked at her. “I just had an odd hunch.”
Lila laughed and rubbed a hand over her stomach. “You’ve got me there. There aren’t any boys in my family, either. We’re still hoping, though.” Her head snapped up, eyes narrowing. She folded her arms again. “You’re not off the hook, Jackson. You didn’t answer my question.”
Jackson smiled. “I know darn well she’s already told you.”
Ceci, seated beside Lila, shifted the baby onto her shoulder and settled back in her seat. “What she didn’t give us were the details.”
All three women blinked at him in expectation.
Jackson held up his hand, laughed, and shook his head. “You won’t be getting them out of me, either. I know y’all. I tell you, y’all tell her, and I’d like my plans to be a surprise.” He set his hand in his lap and looked between the three of them. “I could use some help, however.”
“Allie can stay with us.” Relaxing back in her chair, hands resting along the arms, Malia flashed a gentle, knowing smile.
Warmth filled his chest. “Thank you. I’m prepared to offer an exchange. Use of our cabin for the weekend. I’ll make sure it’s cleaned and fully stocked, and I’ll even throw in a limo.”
Malia shook her head. “You know that’s not necessary.”
He nodded. “I do, but
I also know you and Evan haven’t had time off together in a couple of years and your anniversary is coming up. We’ll even take the kids.”
Her dark brows rose. “All four of them? Including the baby?”
“All four of them, including the baby.”
She tipped her head back, her body shaking with her soft, breathy laughter. Finally, after a long moment, she lifted her head, her voice still trembling with amusement. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, but you’ve got a deal.”
“Thank you.” A sense of camaraderie and gratitude filled his chest. He hadn’t expected them to welcome him back. He’d anticipated glares and having to fight his way back in. Their acceptance meant more than he could possibly tell them. He shot another glance around the table. “Now, I need someone to help me shop for a dress and some shoes.”
Lila sat forward. Curiosity and keen interest lighted her eyes. “I’m so your girl.”
***
Seated in a folding chair out in the lawn several hours later, flanked on both sides by her sisters-in-law, Becca sat with her hands folded over her stomach. It had been an enjoyable evening, with great food and lots of laughter. Now, watching the action happening several feet in front of them, warmth filled her chest and she couldn’t resist a smile. The evening’s entertainment had begun.
Having been a professional dancer in Hawaii, Malia normally provided the entertainment in the form of hula dancing. For them, the dancing had become tradition. They celebrated every accomplishment, every bit of good news, with a luau, and at every one, someone danced. Normally it was the girls. Tonight, however, the normal routine had morphed into something a bit more humorous. It had started with a cocky comment from Kyle.
Seated in a lawn chair to her right, Malia nudged her with an elbow. “I think I like this better. I do believe you’re a genius.”
Becca let out a quiet laugh. “I don’t think this song will ever be the same again, ’Lia.”
Out in the yard, all four men stood within a circle of tiki torches. Mellow Hawaiian music played in the background, emanating softly from a small speaker set above the sliding glass doors. On any other day, the slow, flowing melody might have soothed her soul. Except the sight before her had her, along with the other four women, choking back a fit of giggles.
Jackson stood between Kyle and Chase, a dried grass skirt tied around his waist. She had to hand it to him: somehow, despite his sore ribs, he managed to sway to the beat of the music. He didn’t move as fluidly as when they’d danced around the kitchen, though. Instead, his hips rocked from side to side in an awkward rhythm, reminding her of the little dance Allie used to do when she was a baby.
Becca bit her lip to keep from giggling again.
“How in the world did we manage to get ourselves into this?” Jackson peered around Kyle to Evan, at the end of the line. Her oldest brother wore a skirt of his own and led them all with a darn good rendition of his wife’s dance.
“Kyle had to open his big mouth and whistle at Ceci.” Grumbling from Jackson’s left, Chase furrowed his brow. Despite his grouchy expression, his eyes lit with amusement.
“Do you have any idea how many years I had to watch her dance like this and not be able to say anything?” Kyle had topped his attire with a coconut bikini top, the addition of which had been Ceci’s idea. The goofiest of her brothers, he’d happily donned the coconuts on top of his obnoxious shirt. Every year he wore the same one: light blue and covered in tropical islands, ukuleles, and flowers. Now, he turned his head to wink at Ceci, seated on Becca’s left. “You’ll have to forgive me. I lost my head.”
Evan shot Kyle a playful glare. “I feel your pain, little brother, but if you’d kept your appreciation to yourself until you got home, we wouldn’t be up here. But we can all thank Jackson for this. Becca’s the one who suggested the switch.” He leaned around Kyle, eyes still narrowed, but a smile firmly planted on his face. “You really need to learn how to control her.”
Jackson laughed, light and hearty, only to let out a groan and clutch his rib cage. “Oh, don’t make me laugh. Makes my ribs hurt.”
Chase nudged Jackson’s good arm with an elbow. “This coming from the man who dances as well as his wife.” He turned his head to the right and raised his voice. “You’re keeping up awful well down there, Ev.”
His gaze locked on Malia, Evan winked. “Private lessons.”
Becca nudged Malia, whose face lit up, glowing like one of the tiki torches lining the yard. To her left, Ceci let out a helpless giggle, jostling the baby on her chest. Baby Katie, sound asleep, didn’t so much as flinch.
“Best idea you’ve ever had, Becca.” Lila, seated beside Ceci, grinned over at her and winked, then raised her voice, hollering at the men. “’Bout time these boys get a taste of their own medicine.”
The tempo picked up then, the familiar music moving from a gentle flowing beat to quick and erratic, like the pounding of a heart after a run. She knew from experience that beat wasn’t easy to keep up with. By this point in the song, one by one, the women would drop out, leaving Malia to dance by herself.
Malia let out a quiet laugh and settled back in her chair. “Oh, now the real fun begins.”
Jackson dropped out first. A grin sliding across his mouth, he shook his head and left the line, making his way in her direction. “My ribs hurt just thinking about it.”
A heartbeat later, Chase shook his head and held his hands up in defeat, following Jackson. “I don’t think so.”
Grinning from ear to ear, Kyle simply stopped moving, folded his arms, and turned to watch Evan. “I never knew you could dance so well, Ev.”
Evan, much to everyone’s amusement, kept up with the racing beat. He turned to Kyle and winked. “Watch and learn, baby brother. Watch and learn.”
Around her, the women dissolved into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. Lila stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled, long and loud and obnoxious, much the way Kyle had an hour earlier. Her fearless big brother’s face turned three shades of pink. Moments later, the music ended and, chest heaving, he took a bow. One by one, the group dispersed. Malia and Ceci rose from their seats, crossing to where Evan and Kyle stood in the grass. Chase tugged Lila out of her seat, the two moving to a more private spot up on the deck.
Jackson slid behind Becca, rested his free hand on the chair behind her, and squatted beside her. “I’ve really missed your family, Beck.”
“I’m pretty sure they missed you, too.” Watching him with her family filled her chest with warmth and a sense of rightness. The intimacy she’d shared with him yesterday only deepened. Him being here, amongst her family, felt right. She prayed this good feeling stayed with them this time.
Silence settled between them, comfortable and languid. After a moment, his fingers very subtly brushed her arm. Not an overt gesture, but enough that she’d felt the soft touch. “Do you know, about a week after you left, Malia called to ask how I was?”
She smiled. “Somehow, I’m not surprised.”
He pushed to his feet, and set his hand on the back of her chair. His voice was a low hum behind her. “Said I shouldn’t ever tell you. She feared you’d see her calling me as a betrayal. She didn’t want to hurt you, but she loved us both and worried about how I was getting on.”
She shook her head. “I wouldn’t have been mad. Malia’s everybody’s mother. When Lila’s father turned up sick, she went over every day to bring him meals and check on him.”
Jackson remained silent for a long moment, and Becca glanced back. He stared out over the yard. Finally, he drew a deep breath and turned his head. The fierceness of his gaze had the breath halting in her lungs. “I will get you to move back home. Mark my words. You aren’t leaving my house again.” He winked at her, playful, yet somber. “I refuse to give these people up.”
He stroked his fingers along the back of her neck, so subtle it w
as more a flick of his wrist than an outright touch, then headed off to the end of the deck, where Allie sat with Evan and Malia’s two oldest girls.
As he walked away, warmth settled in her chest but butterflies danced in her tummy. On top of everything else tonight, a fine, sweet tension had risen between them. He’d touched her more than she remembered him doing in a long time. The brush of his finger along her arm when they stood chatting with her brothers, after their arrival. His hand on hers beneath the table during dinner. The touches so small, so seemingly inadvertent nobody would notice. Allie, too wrapped up in the play with her cousins, had barely said two words to them all night, telling Becca her daughter was blissfully unaware. However minute they might be, the intimate touches set her on edge and kept her all too aware of him.
The expression written on his face, on top of the touches, made Becca forget to breathe. His eyes filled with desire and longing. The looks, like his touches, were little more than a subtle flare in the depths of his eyes, but so different than the uncomfortable tension that had been between them since their divorce. Becca couldn’t help remembering his words by the front door earlier. “I’m going to remember you said that after Allie goes to bed tonight.”
Those words had become a sinful promise she had to admit she looked forward to. Anticipation and arousal bubbled hot and delicious in her tummy. What would happen when they got home, when they were finally alone?
***
Several hours later, Jackson leaned back against the kitchen counter. Allie had fallen asleep in the backseat on way home from the luau. Becca had insisted on being the one to carry her inside and put her to bed. Still too sore, he hadn’t argued and had, instead, come into the kitchen to wait for her. The house around him was frustratingly silent. He followed her every footstep.
She had him wound tight, tied in aroused, desirous knots. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had such an enjoyable evening, but the car ride home had proved torture. Far too much silence stretched out between them. The entire shared evening flowed from her to him and back again, filling the small space with tension. Every time he peered at her, longing lit in her baby-blue eyes, along with a hint of uncertainty. They were charting unfamiliar territory. They were strangers reconnecting. Everything in her eyes told him she was very aware of it. Watching her filled his chest with warmth. With hope. With a desire so keen, he ached.