She nodded. "I just...I guess it just hit me that this is forever."
Connor watched her carefully. "Do you want to back out?"
Millie realized there was nothing in the world she wanted as much as she wanted to back out of her wedding just then. Why had she thought she could go through with this? She wasn't used to second-guessing herself, so she concentrated on breathing deeply and getting her thoughts under control. The word panic simply wasn't part of her vocabulary.
She shook her head. "I'll be all right. I just need a minute." When she finally had control of herself again, she took his arm. "I'm ready." But she knew she wasn't. She hoped she wasn't making the biggest mistake of her life.
The wedding only took ten minutes. It went way too fast for Millie. She had no idea what would happen after. Would he take her right back to the hotel to consummate the marriage? Her mother had told her how that worked, and it hadn't sounded pleasant. Would they have a small party to celebrate the wedding? Would they eat? She really hoped they'd eat.
The minister pronounced them man and wife. "You may now kiss the bride."
Connor smiled at her, and lowered his head to hers, brushing his lips briefly across hers.
Millie shivered at his touch, but not in a bad way. She liked it. She'd been kissed before. She'd been kissed by three different boys back home, but not one of them had made her feel like her belly was tingling or sent shivers through her body. Not until Connor had kissed her. She wanted to ask him to kiss her again, but they had an audience. Could she drag him out behind the church and kiss him? Or should she just wait and eat lunch first?
"I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. O'Reilly," the pastor called out to the assembled crowd.
Everyone swarmed around them almost immediately. She could tell that Connor was a much loved member of their town.
She lost track of the people she met, but they were all friendly to her. There were many more men than women, but she'd heard it was like that all through the West. After five minutes or so of introductions, Connor asked, "Are you hungry?"
She nodded eagerly, hoping there would be food waiting for her, and he wouldn't ask her to cook. "Very. I've spent the last ten days eating sandwiches. Lots and lots of sandwiches." She had to eat, and she needed to do it soon. She was surprised he hadn't heard her stomach growling at him through the ceremony. She felt like it had been terribly loud.
Connor made a face. "I like sandwiches but not for every meal for days in and days out." He slipped his arm around her waist and led her to the back of the church. "My friend's wife, Tabitha, is hosting a wedding party at her home. She'll have lots of food for us."
They walked down the main street of the town toward the hotel. "Is everything in this town on this same street?" Millie asked. She was eager to get to know her new home.
"Pretty much. There's not much to it."
"I can see that." Why she'd expected a thriving city like Beckham she had no idea. Maybe because living anywhere else in the world seemed odd to her. She liked the quiet atmosphere of the town, though, and hoped that the constant people coming into town for the train would make it seem like it was a bit larger.
They stopped just before the hotel, and he led her up the walk to a medium sized house, made entirely of wood. Before they even reached the door it was flung open and Millie found herself grabbed in a big hug. "You must be Berta! I've been dying to meet you after Connor has told us so much about you."
Millie shook her head. "Berta eloped. I'm Millie. I came in her place." She smiled sweetly, hoping the woman wouldn't ask any more questions.
Tabitha stood back for a moment, looking shocked. "So you're the substitute wife?"
"I'm the only wife. I suppose I was a substitute fiancé, though." Millie sincerely hoped that she wouldn't always be seen as the substitute. That would be unacceptable for a woman like her.
Chapter Three
The wedding party was a pot luck and many women from the area had brought covered dishes, so there was a huge variety of food on offer. For the first few minutes, Millie pretty much concentrated on food and ignored the people around her unless they spoke to her directly. The variety of food amazed her. There were obviously a lot of people in the area who were first generations out of Europe, and from many different lands, so the food was more cultural than she was used to back in Beckham.
She had fried chicken, Irish stew, and lutefisk. She wasn't feeling particularly picky, just hungry, so she ate some of everything. She worried for a moment that Connor would think she was eating too much, but she decided she didn't care. She was hungry, and she was going to eat her fill.
When the wedding cake was brought out, she glanced at Connor who had been at her side the entire time. "The cake is beautiful." She'd never seen anything like it. It was three layers with tiers set up between them.
He smiled. "That I made myself."
She stared at it in shock. "Why don't you have a bakery?" She could see that he would be a very good baker if the cake tasted even half as good as it looked.
He shrugged. "There was no way to make a living with a bakery here, but I could make a living with a hotel and restaurant. So I did what I needed to do." It made perfect sense to him. He could move to a large city where he wouldn't be as happy and run a bakery, or he could live in Gullet's Gulch and do something he liked less.
"You should at least sell baked goods from the restaurant. Extra pies for people to take home."
He looked at her and nodded slowly. "I hadn't thought of that, but I might need to." The more he watched her, the more he was glad that this girl had come and not the one he was expecting. He'd had an image in his head of what his perfect wife would be like, and Berta was it. Now that he'd spent some time with Millie, he thought maybe she was the one he needed for his bride, and not Berta. Maybe God had been watching out for him.
They got up to cut the cake together and fed each other one bite with their forks. It was slightly embarrassing for her, with everyone watching, but she did enjoy being close to Connor.
The party went on for hours, with her speaking to a few people and everyone telling Connor how much they cared about him and how happy they wanted him to be. Millie was beginning to see just how much he meant to the people of his town. "How long have you lived here?" she finally asked.
He smiled over at her, his hand reaching out for hers. "About ten years. I opened my restaurant eight years ago, and the hotel six years ago." He was proud of what he'd accomplished during his time there, and was happy to be able to share his life with his beautiful bride.
"You're doing very well for yourself here." He seemed to fit in with this town better than she had in Beckham, and she'd lived there her entire twenty-two years.
He nodded. "I love it here. I wouldn't go back to Ireland. Here, I have everything I need." He looked into her eyes. "In Ireland I had no wife. Here I have you. Someone who will keep me warm at night and work by my side all day. I'm glad you're here." He leaned over in his chair and kissed her softly wanting her to understand just how much her presence meant to him.
She caught the back of his head with her hand and kissed him back, her lips parting for his. She felt a warmth spread through her body from the top of her head to the tips of her toes that had nothing to do with the summer heat.
When she heard the catcalls from across the room, she flushed and pulled away from him. "Can I help it if I married the most handsome man in Idaho Territory?" she asked loudly.
There was a lot of laughter, and Connor pulled her close to his side. "You're going to be a good wife to me."
"I'm going to do my very best." She felt badly that he didn't realize she couldn't cook yet, but she didn't want to ruin their wedding days with any depressing news. She'd wait. That kind of news was always better to wait on. Besides, as soon as he saw how good she was at helping the people around her, she was certain he'd be thrilled to have her for his wife.
Connor finally looked over at her and squeezed her hand. "Are you read
y to go? We have to be the first to leave, and some of the children look like they're getting sleepy." He didn't add that he couldn't wait any longer to take her into his arms and truly make her his wife.
Looking at the wall clock, Millie could see it was almost seven. They had eaten most of the afternoon, with snacking here and desserts there. She was grateful no one would need to cook that evening. "I'm ready." Her eyes didn't meet his, though, because she felt that ready meant something very different than what he did. Her mother had talked to her about what to expect on her wedding night, and she was not looking forward to it. How could that possibly be comfortable?
They stood, and Connor thanked everyone for coming, the Irish in his voice making Millie smile. "We'll see you all at the restaurant and at church on Sunday." They both waved to the others as they left the house, walking toward the hotel.
When they were finally alone, she had no idea what to say to him. What did one say to a man she'd just met but who she was now married to? "Your friends are nice," she mumbled.
Connor smiled. "They are. This whole town has invited me in and acted like I'm a long lost son. It's a good place for me to be. I feel like I'm loved here."
"What was your family like?" She'd never been out of the United States, so she had no idea what it would have been like growing up in Ireland.
He shrugged. "I was the oldest of eight children. Three girls and five boys. My da had a farm, and we all worked on it whenever we weren't in school. Mam had a small bakery that she ran out of the house. I would have preferred to work with Mam all the time, but Da needed me for the farm labor. In the evenings, after it was too dark to work outside, Mam would show me how to bake and decorate cakes." He smiled as he thought of the long hours in the kitchen with his mother. He knew it was odd that he preferred the baking to the farm work, but he'd been drawn to the kitchen his entire life.
"It sounds like it was a good way to grow up." She couldn't help but smile at the idea of him in a kitchen with his mother.
He thought about that for a moment before saying, "It was the best. I wouldn't trade it for anything." He sighed. "I do wish my family could have come over here with me, but Mam said she was too old to go to some strange country and start over. I sometimes wish one of my brothers or sisters would travel over and settle near me, but they're marrying boys and girls from home one by one."
"You miss them." It was obvious by his tone of voice that he wanted to have his family around him again.
He nodded. "I miss them every day. I made the right choice for me to come here and to start my own business. For them? The choice wasn't as great." He looked down at her as they entered the lobby of the hotel to go up to their rooms. "What about you? Did you come from a large family?"
She shook her head. "Not as large as yours. There were four of us, all girls. I'm the oldest."
"So we're both the oldest of our family. Does that make us both bossy?" He grinned. "My brothers and sisters all said I was bossy because I was the oldest."
"Oh, absolutely not. It makes us both more responsible than most." She grinned at him.
When they got to their room, he used his key to unlock the door for her, and stopped. "I'll wait while you get ready for bed."
She sighed. "I'd really like to take a bath tonight. Would that be all right?"
He nodded, taking her down the hallway to the bathroom and showing her how the running water worked.
"I'll get my nightgown first," she told him, blushing slightly. She'd never worn just a nightgown in front of a man. She was nervous about being alone with him, but he was her husband now. She needed to get over that feeling.
They walked back to the bedroom, and she got her nightgown and dressing gown, along with her hairbrush, before rushing down the hall to take a bath. She wanted to spend hours relaxing in the bath, but realized that he wouldn't be thrilled with her for that. She needed to hurry and be with him as soon as possible.
She rushed through her bath, washing her hair quickly. When she got out, she hurriedly brushed her hair before dressing and going back down the hall, her dirty clothes in her hands.
He was waiting in the room for her, and jumped up when she entered. "I'll just go and get a quick bath too," he said, leaving her there to settle in. As he hurried down the hall he thought about how pretty she had looked with her pink dressing gown and her hair down around her shoulders. She was a beautiful girl, and he couldn't wait to kiss her.
When he returned to the room, she was sitting on the bed with her legs folded under her, brushing through her long hair. She carefully held each strand up as she brushed it trying to get it to dry quickly. Her hair was long though, well past her waist, and he realized her arms must be getting tired. "May I help?" he asked.
She looked at him with surprise. "You want to help me brush my hair?" She'd never heard of such a thing, but surely it was all right for him to help her. They were married after all.
He nodded, moving around to sit behind her on the bed. She passed the brush to him over her shoulder and bent her head forward. Her sister had brushed her hair for her many times, as well as her mother. They hadn't been allowed to have personal maids in their house, because her mother had said it would turn them into spoiled brats, so she'd learned to do mostly for herself.
He took the brush from her and ran it through her hair, holding up individual sections to dry it faster. "You have beautiful hair."
She swallowed hard. It felt odd to let a man do something so personal for her. "Thank you." It felt good to have his hands on her hair. She wanted to lean back against him and give herself over to the sensation, but she didn't want to be too forward.
"When it was all on top of your head, I had no idea it was so long. I don't think I've ever seen hair this long."
She shrugged. "I've never had it cut. It's been trimmed to even the length, but it's never been cut." Her father had believed that all women should be able to sit on their hair, and hadn't allowed them to cut it at all.
"It's truly glorious." He said nothing else, just breathing in her scent as he slowly dried her hair with his fingers.
She let her head drop way forward, and just enjoyed the feel of his hands on her hair. She could have sat letting him brush it for hours, but she knew he would never agree to take so long. She was honestly surprised he was brushing it for her at all. She'd never heard of a man brushing a woman's hair for her.
Finally he got out of the bed and set the brush down on the dresser, returning to sit on the bed in front of her. "I think it's dry enough," he said, tilting her face up to his with an index finger under her chin.
"Thank you. I truly enjoyed that. Brushing my hair is just one of those chores I have to go through every day, and you made it special." She'd never dreamed he'd do something so intimate for her and make it feel so good. He was going to be a good husband. She could feel it.
He smiled, stroking her cheek. "We'll try to make everything in life special." He sighed happily. "I think one of the greatest gifts my parents gave me is the ability to find happiness in the smallest of things. If you're too poor to have a roof over your head, it means that you get to sleep under the beautiful canopy of stars God created for us. If you have no money for cake, you thank God for the bread you have. There's something that's good in every situation." He shrugged. "Tonight, I got to touch my beautiful bride by helping her with her hair. It was a gift you gave me, letting me do it."
Millie smiled at him, reaching out to touch his cheek, which he had obviously shaven while he was in the bathroom. "You gave me a gift as well." She realized then that she'd made the right decision moving to Idaho. Her new husband was just what she needed in life. He was loving, and he saw the good in all situations. How could she help falling in love with a man like that?
Chapter Four
Connor leaned forward and kissed Millie gently, his hand on her cheek his other braced on the bed. He would go as slowly as his sweet bride needed this first time. Her lips fluttered against his, and he moved clo
ser, needing to feel her against him.
Millie liked kissing Connor, but she was certain she wouldn't like what came after the kissing. Her mother had explained that it was her duty as a wife, though, so she didn't pull away. When he did nothing more than kiss her, her lips parted under his, and he swept his tongue inside her mouth to tangle with hers. She wound her arms around his shoulders and kissed him back, her hands stroking the hard muscles of his arms under his shirt.
He moved his hands to the belt of her dressing gown and undid it, pushing it off her shoulders. Moving his hands to the buttons at the front of her gown, he unbuttoned the top one, before her hands caught his. She pulled away from the kiss, looking into his eyes. "Not yet. All right?"
He nodded. "I can wait." Her nightgown was made of the finest linen, and it was obvious she was from a much wealthier background than he was. He hoped she had no complaints for the way he provided. He smoothed his hands over her shoulders and down her arms, moving them around to her back. His hands stroked her through her nightgown, doing his best to get her used to his touch. He didn't want her shying away from him, but he needed her to get used to him having free access to her body.
She rose to her knees on the bed so she could get closer to him, her arms winding around him and stroking him through his shirt. She felt her breasts flattened against the hard wall of his chest, and she found she liked the feeling. She liked everything about touching him so far, but she was afraid of what would happen if she let him take her nightgown off.
He kissed down the side of her neck to her shoulder, and pressed soft quick kisses there. He inched the fabric of her nightgown to the side so he had access to more of her bare flesh and he covered it all with kisses.
She stroked her fingers through his hair, smiling as she touched him. His lips felt so good against her flesh she couldn't contain her enthusiasm. She wanted to kiss his shoulders and chest as well, but he had put the dress shirt he'd worn to their wedding back on after his bath. She moved her hands to the top buttons of his shirt and began liberating them from their holes. "Do you mind?" she asked.
Mail Order Minx: Fountain of Love (Brides of Beckham) Page 3