When their gazes locked, Rebecca was quick to note curiosity in Natalie’s eyes. Recognizing that her Amish dress was out of place, Rebecca guessed that Natalie was probably unsure of what to think about her. Trying to break the ice, Rebecca forced a friendly smile.
“Would you like a glass of water?”
Natalie shook her head. “No, thanks.”
When it became clear that Natalie didn’t intend to pursue their conversation, Rebecca returned to her workstation and opened another can of stain.
As she carefully pulled off the lid, her attention lingered on the threesome. The men talked and gestured with their hands, but Natalie’s focus was on William. In fact, she looked at him with interest.
Natalie batted her eyelashes and said something that made William smile. Rebecca arched a curious brow. An unsettling feeling landed in her chest.
She knew she was naïve, but Rebecca was astute enough to see that Natalie flirted with William. And William had responded.
The moment Henry and his daughter waved good-bye, Rebecca sighed in relief. Natalie made her feel a bit odd and uncomfortable. When William rejoined Rebecca, she erased the girl from her mind. “Everything okay?”
He nodded. “I assured him we’d do our best.” William paused and cupped his chin with his hand.
Rebecca furrowed her brow and motioned to the wooden bench. “Want to finish our talk?”
“Sure.”
Sitting down, she turned slightly and laid a hand on her thigh. “What’s wrong?”
Extending a set of long legs, William cleared his throat. “Henry asked about Dad. As soon as I said he’d be okay, I realized I wasn’t sure.” He moved his shoulders in a casual shrug. “I’m worried, Rebecca. The doctor said he should be doing light activities by now. But I’m sure you’ve noticed that he can barely get around. And he doesn’t look good. The bags under his eyes, his pale cheeks … He’s so … frail.”
William lowered his voice. “Rebecca, what if he doesn’t recover?”
She considered the potent question and pursed her lips in deep deliberation. Daniel had made little or no progress since she and William had moved into the Conrad home over a week ago.
She recalled Old Sam’s optimistic approach to life and raised her chin in confidence. “Keep praying. He suffered a heart attack. Of course getting back on his feet will take time.”
A grin tugged at her lips as she recalled one of Old Sam’s favorite proverbs. “A handful of patience is worth a bushel of brains.”
The old saying prompted a sigh from William. “Thank you, Rebecca.”
“For what?”
He leaned toward her. The hopeful look in his eyes made her heart melt. She loved him so much.
“Everything. I can’t believe how hard you’ve worked.” He motioned to the cabinets in front of them. “I couldn’t have finished this order without you.”
She sat up straighter. “That’s why I’m here.”
“Most of all, thanks for being my best friend. Having you with me has boosted my confidence.”
She raised a curious brow. “Confidence?”
He nodded. “I hate to admit this, but I was afraid to leave home.”
“Really?”
“It’s the truth. I wasn’t sure I could carry this out.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and lightly tapped her shoe against the floor. “I don’t understand. We’ve done this our entire lives. Besides, we’re not alone.” She motioned to two women placing dividers inside of drawers.
“Not by ourselves. Aenti Sarah, Uncle John, and your folks made the big decisions.”
“I’d never really thought of it like that.”
“We’ve got a lot on our plate.” He paused. “You know what I’ve learned here?”
“What?”
“That the world’s much larger than Arthur, Illinois.”
Rebecca laughed. “But we knew that.”
“Of course, but what I didn’t realize was how protected we were. For the first time in my life, I feel I can do anything.” He hesitated. “Under one condition.”
“What?”
“That you’re with me.”
*
That night, Rebecca thought of William as she sat in bed and pulled the bedcovers over her legs. The lamp on the stand next to her illuminated the area.
She had to let Mamma know how amazing the Conrad home was. On a piece of paper, she wrote as neatly as she could.
Dear Mamma, I miss you so much. The Conrads are wonderful. You wouldn’t believe my room. A beautiful white fan looms from the high ceiling. Cream-colored wall paint offsets a dark oak boudoir. A large picture of a flower garden decorates the wall in front of me. You’d love the deep, rich colors. And the gold detailed frame looks like an expensive antique.
My walk-in closet is lined with sachet hangers in pastel colors. And a small television rests on a shelf in one of the corners. My purple bed comforter smells of lavender.
When she ended the letter, she put down the paper and pen, pushed an oversized decorative pillow to the side, and rested her head on a smaller cushion. Her gaze drifted to the hope chest given to her by Old Sam. She grinned, and hopped up to open it and retrieve Mamma’s scripture book.
As she thought of her family and Old Sam, her heart ached for home. She would give anything to talk with Mamma while they made homemade butter. She grabbed a nearby notepad and pen, jotted the date in the upper right-hand corner, and began writing her innermost thoughts.
At home, life was carefree. There was no pressure.
Here, there’s stress.
Rebecca frowned as a small yawn escaped her. As she considered the events of the day, she wrote, Meeting Natalie was uncomfortable. She stared at me and made me feel strange. What really made me uneasy was watching her look at William. She likes him.
Rebecca returned her new diary to the chest, and the tense muscles in her shoulders began to slowly relax. She put her written thoughts next to her scripture book and stood. She closed the hope chest and strummed her fingers over the lid. As she traced the bouquet carved into the wood, she thought of Old Sam. Salty tears stung her eyes as she turned to flip off her lamp.
In bed, she closed her eyes and prayed. As she rolled onto her side, she considered how different her life was now. She thought of her parents and struggled to keep in mind why she’d come.
As she drifted off to sleep, she dreamed of the woods behind the Conrad home. In her long, brown dress and kapp, she and William proceeded side by side through the thick brush.
Without warning, his pace quickened to a jog. She tried to keep up, but couldn’t. Where was he?
Before she knew it, he had vanished. She was lost. She hollered. No answer.
The sky turned dark. A chilly wind caused shivers up and down her spine. Worse, she couldn’t find William. Why had he left her? She cried out.
“Rebecca, wake up! It’s okay.”
When she opened her eyes, Beth was shaking her. Rebecca’s breaths were rapid and shallow. Her heart beat at a sprinter’s pace.
“I had a nightmare.”
“Honey, I know you miss your family.”
Beth’s gentle smile was understanding. “It’s the first time you’ve been away from them. But I have a nice surprise. A new friend named Katie. She’s Amish and sells eggs. Tomorrow, she’ll be by in her buggy to deliver them. And you’ll love her.”
Beth planted an affectionate kiss on Rebecca’s forehead and stood. “Go back to sleep. Tomorrow will be a good day.”
As Rebecca’s gaze followed Beth out of the room, she considered William’s kind and loving stepmother. But what Beth didn’t realize was that meeting Katie wouldn’t solve Rebecca’s worries. Being homesick wasn’t really her main problem.
It was Natalie. Rebecca feared losing William.
*
What had Rebecca dreamed? The following morning, William pondered the question as she placed a newly stained cabinet partition on a board to dry. In her long
dress and tennis shoes, she worked hard. Miss Rebecca was definitely the practical sort. Her clothing was far from glamorous, yet there was still an incredible beauty that emanated from her.
A loveliness that even the ugliest of garments couldn’t conceal. Rebecca’s eyes sparkled. Her creamy skin glowed. He liked the proud, determined lift of her chin. What he loved most about her was her ability to reason. Rebecca was the most logical person he knew.
He glanced around the sawdust-filled room and considered their future. He dreamed of giving her a wonderful life. A beautiful home. He wished he could provide her with a kitchen like Beth’s.
When he rested a gentle hand on her shoulder, she turned.
“Beth told me about your nightmare. Want to talk about it?”
To his surprise and disappointment, Rebecca shook her head. “I’d rather not.” She changed the subject. “William, if you could have anything, what would you ask for?”
Together, they lifted a large cherry cabinet and carried it to the delivery station. As they set it down, their eyes locked. William smiled a little.
“That’s easy. You. And a house full of children.” He lowered his voice. “You mean the world to me, Rebecca. I couldn’t imagine being here without you.”
“Do you still dream of building a house together?”
“Of course. And I want a pond so our boys can fish.”
“What about our girls?”
He grinned. “You can teach them to make quilts. And to grow vegetables. You’re a wonderful gardener. I can already see our little ones picking flowers. They’ll be just like you.” He paused. “What do you dream of, Rebecca?”
“You.”
He beamed. “What else?” He took in the thoughtful expression on her face.
“Children.” The excited look in her eyes turned serious. “I also pray for my parents to live to be very old.” She quickly added with a newfound excitement, “And I’d like a zillion flower plants, to make arrangements.” Old Sam had given her a spot in his barn to dry them.
William chuckled. “You and your plants.”
“I love watching things grow. It’s amazing what blessings God has given us. And the best things cost nothing at all.”
They returned to the main work area. She gently touched his shoulder. “William, I’ve noticed your folks don’t have a garden.”
He shrugged. “They buy fresh produce at a farmer’s market.”
“Jah, but don’t you suppose Daniel would enjoy a small garden?” Before William could answer, she added, “You know, just to look at while he recovers? Flowers are good for the soul.”
William considered the question. “He might.”
“I’d like to do that for him.”
William smiled widely. “You’re so thoughtful, Rebecca. That’s one of the reasons I love you.”
As his gaze penetrated hers, there was more he yearned to tell her. Like his longing to own a car. Of living like the English. But he didn’t. Because wanting these things was selfish.
He had been raised to not place such emphasis on material possessions. And he was ashamed of himself. What would Rebecca say if she could read his mind?
*
Katie’s friendly smile and warm green eyes immediately made Rebecca feel at home. Katie was tall and willowy with porcelain skin and a beauty that seemed to come from a centered, thoughtful personality.
At the same time, she wore a long, brown dress and black shoes. Like Rebecca, her hair was pulled tightly back on her head and covered with a kapp.
After Beth paid Katie for the eggs, she glanced at the girls and waved a hand in dismissal. “Why don’t the two of you sit on the patio and enjoy a cup of tea?”
Katie grinned at Rebecca. “I have a better idea. How ’bout a ride in my buggy? I have some errands in town.”
A wide smile lifted Rebecca’s lips. “I’d love it.”
They made their way to the “black box.” An orange-and-yellow YIELD sign decorated the back. They lifted the skirts of their long dresses to step up to the bench seat.
After Katie yanked the door closed, she straightened in her seat and grabbed the reins. With a light jolt, the horse trotted. As it whinnied, Rebecca let out a contented sigh.
A soft, folded quilt of beautiful hues covered the bench seat. Rebecca felt at ease. After all, this was what she knew. Shiny autos didn’t tempt her at all.
A sleek, smooth leather car seat couldn’t compete with the buggy’s homespun goodness. Above, the sun brightened the sky. The warm breeze loosened tendrils of hair from her bun.
“Do you like it here?”
Rebecca offered a slight nod. “I adore William’s parents. Beth is so kind. And Daniel teases her about ordering him around. Their home is lovely.” She hesitated. “But I feel a bit out of place.”
“Of course. You’re used to a simple life. Is this your first encounter with the English?”
“No. The town I’m from has them. But this is a first for being away from my family.”
“Do your parents have a phone?”
“They share one with neighbors. It’s in a booth between two houses. Oh, Katie, I miss little things. Chatting with my little brother and sister over breakfast. Going to church with my family. Helping Mamma in the garden.”
As they proceeded down the country road, everything was familiar to Rebecca. The distinct smell of horses. The gentle rocking of the carriage.
“The English lifestyle must be tempting.”
Rebecca shrugged. “At times, I think about wearing my hair down.” She giggled. “And I wonder how I’d look in blue jeans.”
Katie laughed. “I’m proud of you for practicing your customs. We Amish girls are a tough breed. We never take the easy way out. That would be too simple. But sticking to our beliefs when we’re in the minority?” She gave a firm shake of her head. “That takes courage.”
“I never thought of it that way.”
“You must really love William to move so far away for him.”
“Oh, didn’t Beth tell you?”
“What?”
“This is temporary. William and I are only here until Daniel’s back on his feet.”
Katie raised a curious brow. “Are you sure?”
Rebecca frowned. An uncomfortable sensation tightened her chest. “Of course. Why do you ask?”
With a roll of her eyes, Katie cleared her throat. “Because Beth mentioned how nice it would be for William and Daniel to become business partners.”
*
William waved good-bye to Rebecca and Katie from the front yard. He blinked as the late June sun appeared from under a cloud. Already, he sensed Katie was good company for Rebecca. He lifted a concerned brow. Rebecca’s nightmare was still on his mind. And … that she hadn’t shared it with him. They had never kept secrets from each other. What had she dreamed about that had caused her to scream? Whatever it was must have been awful.
As he fingered the tip of his hat, he took in the Conrad estate. He’d never imagined so many luxuries. They’d been here less than a couple of weeks, but already, he knew he liked the amenities that came with the English lifestyle.
Beth’s sleek BMW boasted a sunroof. The large-screen television Daniel watched from his bed was like something from the future. Cell phones. Electric garage-door openers.
Of course, Aenti Sarah and Uncle John were fully aware that all of these accessories existed. They shopped at Walmart and Sears.
While the sun appeared from behind a white fluffy cloud, William compared his new life to his old. He pressed his lips together in deep deliberation and shoved his hands into his pockets as he studied the ground.
He respected Amish ways, yet it seemed unfair that Aenti Sarah used an air compressor to power her washing machine, while Beth merely tossed her laundry into an electric Maytag and did other things while the machine worked.
Things were too easy here. But were Daniel and Beth bad people? William shook his head. To his surprise, he enjoyed their luxuries. Especi
ally the ESPN channel.
Would God disapprove? Long, thoughtful moments passed while he wondered who he would have been had he driven a car instead of a horse and buggy. Nervous, guilty steps took him to the edge of the yard and back. Would he have become the same William his Rebecca loved? His gaze landed on Beth’s silver car and he imagined cruising the country roads with the windows down.
For one blissful moment, he smiled. His imagination wandered to a land where he sat in the driver’s seat. He stepped hard on the accelerator as the warm summer wind lifted his hair. He’d never felt so much power as he clutched the leather-covered steering wheel that tilted up. On the front dash were all sorts of buttons and arrows. He was in control as he swept past fields. Towns. From the open window, he waved at people he knew.
They reciprocated. In the rearview mirror he watched their gazes follow him. He chuckled. Life couldn’t get better than what he saw here. A large house. A color television with tons of cable channels and a remote control.
As the engine hummed, William could do anything. Because he drove the smoothest, sleekest car around.
A squirrel dashed in front of him, interrupting his thoughts. With a frustrated sigh, he frowned and forced his mind to reality. A few moments later, he shrugged and struggled to accept what he had. He reasoned that there were definitely advantages to driving a buggy.
No gas tank to fill. Or tune-ups. And no monthly insurance payments he’d heard Daniel talk about. Still, William would love having a car.
A strong pang of guilt swept down his arms and landed in his fingertips, making them tingle. He flexed them to rid himself of the uncomfortable sensation. Temptation. It filled his heart and his soul. Was it wrong? Was it possible to be around these luxuries and not want them?
As he swatted away a fly that buzzed near his nose, William considered those challenging questions. He raised a thoughtful brow and tapped the heel of his foot to a nervous beat. What he felt was actually stronger than temptation. It was envy. His heart sank. God was surely disappointed in him.
Perhaps it would have been better to have stayed in Arthur. He wouldn’t have been exposed to so much. In Illinois, he wouldn’t have been tested.
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