“There’s so much to think about. Of course, it would be great for you to work with your dad. On the other hand, our children would miss out on growing up with their cousins. My parents would have to travel out of state to see their grandchildren.”
Suddenly, Rebecca wanted to cry. Her whole life revolved around her family. Not only did she help Mamma with household chores, but her parents expected her at the woodworking shop.
She was sure that the business ran much more smoothly when she did her part. Her mother and father had made a huge sacrifice in allowing her to come here. In fact, the only reason she was in Indiana was because of Daniel’s heart condition. She couldn’t stay forever. That wasn’t what she had agreed to.
Her parents would need her when they got old. In their community, the younger generation took care of their elders. She pictured the grandpa-house she’d always planned behind her home. She loved her brother and sister. Their cousins. Aunts and uncles.
William was looking at her to go on. The expression on his face was a combination of uncertainty and hopefulness. She had to say something. But what? As usual, she decided on a straightforward approach.
“William, how wonderful that Daniel offered you a partnership. That means he truly loves you. Maybe you can put the past behind you and start over.”
She inhaled on a shaky breath. “But move to Indiana?”
She gave a skeptical shake of her head. “It’s something we didn’t plan on. I’m a little surprised right now. Forgive me. I … I just wasn’t prepared for that, I guess.”
“Oh, Rebecca. It would be a huge adjustment for you. For both of us. I haven’t forgotten how close you are to your family. And of course, I would miss Uncle John and Aenti Sarah. They’ve made so many sacrifices to raise me. Done their very best to make sure I knew I was loved. And the way they feel about Dad, well … They certainly wouldn’t approve of me becoming his partner. Their opinion is so important because I want to please them for all they’ve done. But if I did take this offer … I’d be an outcast, just like Dad.” William smiled a little. “There’s a lot to think about. But fortunately, this doesn’t need to be settled today.” He nodded. “But at some point, we’ll have to decide. And we’ll make the right choice.”
What William said was true. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted to accept. She loved William. She adored her family. If he partnered with his dad, she’d have to give up one. Which would it be?
Chapter Eight
That night, Rebecca flipped her room light on and sat on the floor next to her hope chest. As she traced her finger across the engraved flowers on the lid, she thought of Old Sam and let out a small sigh. In barely more than a whisper, she asked, “Old Sam, what would you tell William? I wish I could talk to you now. More than ever, I need your advice.”
She pressed her lips together in a thoughtful manner and pulled open the lid, removing the notepad and pen inside. Leaning back against the bed, she bent her knees and put the paper on her lap.
She recorded the date in the upper right-hand corner and considered Daniel’s invitation to become William’s business partner.
She began to write. Never before have I faced such strong challenges. Before I came here, I thought life was simple. It’s not. It seems like circumstances are pulling William and me apart. I love William. And he loves me. But he also yearns for approval from his father. I want him to be happy. At the same time, I long to grow old around my folks. I’m not selfish, but giving up my family would be so hard for me to do. It wouldn’t be fair to them.
She sat up a little straighter. She adjusted the pad on her lap and inhaled the pleasant scent of eucalyptus as she considered the bishop’s request for three goals. At the same time, Daniel’s offer to William rang in and out of her thoughts.
She stared at her pen and wrote. How did life suddenly become so complicated? I’m still the same person I was before coming here. My passions haven’t changed. The most important things in my life are William, my family, and my faith. I’ve always believed that I would live to be very old with all three. Now I realize that I took that for granted.
For several long, thoughtful moments, Rebecca focused her attention on her diary. As she continued to write, a lone tear slid down her cheek. She didn’t bother to stop it.
If I offer William my blessing to join his father, I give up my family. I don’t know how I would survive without them. At the same time, I can’t imagine breathing without William. What should I do?
*
The next afternoon, Rebecca’s thoughts lingered on the tough decision she was about to make.
“It’s quittin’ time.”
William’s voice startled her. As she looked up, she accidentally brushed her thumb against a piece of oak she was holding.
“Ouch.” She squeezed her eyes closed and dropped the board.
William grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to surprise you.” He held her fingers close to his face while he scrutinized the wound. “That looks like one wicked splinter.”
She didn’t protest when he motioned her into the office. With quick steps, he made his way to a small cabinet and returned with tweezers and a Band-Aid. He laid the Band-Aid aside and darted Rebecca a mischievous wink.
“Good thing I have some medical training.”
She laughed. “You don’t have any medical training. And I’ll be fine. Really. It’s only a splinter. Not a bullet casualty.”
He took her wrist and gently lifted her hand for a better look. “You’re much too brave, Miss Rebecca. You’re underestimating the severity of your wound.”
As he carefully scrutinized the swollen area, her pulse picked up speed. The serious look on his face made him appear older. His jaw was set. She could feel his warm breath caress her skin.
“Hold real still.”
She did so as he placed the tweezers next to her thumb. He quickly pulled out the splinter and proudly displayed it in front of her.
“Would you look at that?”
She smiled a little. “Thank you, Doctor. What would I have done without you?” she teased, but inside she was shaking. She loved the way William took care of her. His concern. At the same time, the heavy decision she had to make loomed over her like a dark cloud.
He winked. “There’s no charge for my services, ma’am, since the splinter was my fault.”
They returned to where she’d been working. Careful to not put pressure on her thumb, she placed her brush in a can of paint remover and motioned to her piece. “What do you think?”
Together, they eyed the long cabinet board. William gave a satisfied nod. “It’s beautiful. Miss Rebecca. No one applies stain like you do.”
“Thank you.”
He pressed his lips together and blew out a breath. “But no more shop talk today. We’re done.”
Rebecca paused to motion to the clock on the wall. “It’s only one o’clock.”
Pressing his palm against the small of her back, he motioned ahead. “You’ve been working much too hard. And did I tell you how much I appreciate all you’ve done?”
She nodded.
“Now, I have a surprise for you.”
Rebecca’s heart jumped with excitement. “A surprise? What is it?”
He winked. “Come outside, and you’ll see.”
They made their way to the door and stepped outside. Once the door clicked closed, Rebecca glimpsed the horse tied to the nearby pole. Her breath caught in her throat. She pulled her hands over her chest in amazement. “Oh, my goodness!”
“This afternoon, we’re taking a horse-and-buggy ride.” He pointed to the carriage. “Would you be my guest?”
Before she could answer, he put a hand up to stop her. “And I won’t take no for an answer.”
An excited laugh escaped Rebecca’s throat. “I’d never turn down a horse-and-buggy ride! Especially with you. Where did you get …”
He arched an amused brow. “Let’s just say Beth helped me to borrow th
ese. Now, no more questions. The afternoon is for fun.” He held out his hand. “After you.”
He helped her to step up into the “black box.” After she moved over to the passenger side, William joined her.
In silence, they proceeded onto the blacktop. As the hooves clicked against the road, Rebecca closed her eyes a moment to breathe in that familiar woodsy smell of the bench. The thick cotton blanket on her seat was soft against her hands. When she opened her lids, a smile tugged at her lips.
She turned to William. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
William darted her a grin. “The pleasure’s all mine. I wanted to offer you something nice for all you’ve done.” He gave a low whistle. “Believe me, I gave serious thought to what you’d like. After deep deliberation, I decided this ride would be the perfect gift.”
“You’ve got awfully good instincts.”
He raised a finger. “The afternoon is just starting.”
Rebecca breathed in a happy sigh. As the buggy creaked, her spirits lifted. While the bright, warm sun shone down on them, all she thought of was the bliss of this simple afternoon. The smell of freshly cut grass. The bright orange sun overhead. How wonderful life was.
“It seems like an eternity since we’ve ridden in one of these together.”
He nodded. “If I remember correctly, the last time we did this was after the singings. It was a couple of nights before we left Arthur.”
Rebecca paused. “Oh yes. It started to rain just when you pulled up to my house.”
She recalled the blissful evening. She missed the singings. She longed to be in Arthur. “Don’t you miss them?”
“The singings?”
“Uh-huh.”
He shrugged. “To be honest, I haven’t given them much thought. We’ve been so busy in the shop.”
Rebecca considered his response. She sat up straighter. “Every night, I imagine what I’d be doing if I were home.” She crossed her arms against her chest in a wistful manner. “Sometimes I can almost smell Mamma’s homemade butter. And I can even hear my brother and sister screaming as they chase each other in the yard.”
“Beth has butter in the fridge. Doesn’t it smell the same?”
Rebecca shook her head. “Not really. And the taste can’t compare to Mamma’s. Besides, there’s something about making it yourself.”
William lifted a casual shoulder. “I suppose. But I can tell you this. You know what I like most about Arthur?”
She was pleased that William missed something from home. That she thought of Arthur day and night and that he seemed content in Indiana prompted an uneasy feeling in her chest.
“What?”
He grinned. “Aenti Sarah’s butterscotch pie.”
He laughed. Rebecca joined him.
Suddenly, William’s voice dropped. “Honestly, Rebecca, I could live here.”
Rebecca closed her eyes a moment as she digested the words she’d been halfway expecting for some time.
A long silence ensued before Rebecca spoke. “What about your aunt and uncle? Don’t you want to see them?”
“Of course.” William cleared his throat. “But we’re still in touch. Aenti Sarah calls once a week. It’s not like I don’t talk to her. And as far as day-to-day work, that hasn’t changed. I’m basically doing the same trade here. Building cabinets.”
He chuckled. “The difference is that when I’m off, I kick back in the air-conditioning and watch the sports channel. I have no complaints about how Dad and Beth crank the air down to get the house cool at night.” He blew out a satisfied breath. “I sleep like a log in that king-size bed.”
Rebecca’s throat went dry. She wasn’t sure what to say. While the buggy gently rocked, she knew she should enjoy being alone with William. Moments together like this were rare. She should love talking with him.
She looked down at her lap. Her hands were clenched together and her knuckles were pale. It wasn’t difficult to understand why the initial happiness of this ride had suddenly evaporated.
The defeated feeling was due to changes in William. Unlike her, he had developed a bond with the English way of life. And unlike her, he didn’t appear to long for the things in her hometown that were so very dear to her.
He softened his voice. “Hey, don’t look so serious.”
She sighed and smiled a little. Why worry? She couldn’t control William’s preference for his dad’s lifestyle. So she might as well enjoy the sunny afternoon. Relaxing, she crossed her legs at the ankles and turned to face him.
She giggled as she drifted back in time. “Remember when we used to sell homegrown vegetables at our stand on the street?”
“That seems like a long time ago. We were just kids.”
“And you used your profits to treat me to lunch at Yoder’s Kitchen.”
William’s eyes lit up with enthusiasm. “Now that’s one good memory.”
“And it should be. You practically ate them out of their homemade dumplings.”
“I’m sure we’d never find a restaurant here that could match Yoder’s Kitchen. Their fried chicken is the best.”
As they proceeded down the road, Rebecca’s tense shoulders began to relax. Why on earth should she worry? Next to her was the same William she’d known her entire life. The William she’d grown up with and knew like the back of her hand. There had never been an issue they hadn’t been able to work out.
A field of wildflowers loomed in the distance. William pulled over to the side and tied the horse to a tree.
“We can’t end the afternoon without a bouquet.”
They got out of the buggy and talked while they took slow steps. Sometime later, Rebecca watched in silence while he bent to pick a handful of yellow and purple flowers. With a proud smile, he stood in front of her and handed her his freshly picked arrangement.
“For you.”
She took them and breathed in the light, sweet smell. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.”
They returned to the buggy. Inside, Rebecca got comfortable and took in the smell of the bouquet. The temperature dropped a notch as they made their way home. When the Conrad property came into sight, William darted her a glance. “A penny for your thoughts.”
She turned to better face him. “I was just thinking about us and all that we’ve accomplished since we’ve been here.”
“It’s hard to believe, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “When we get back home, we can honestly be proud of all we’ve done.”
“You really miss Arthur.”
She gave a firm nod. “Don’t you?”
He paused. When he finally spoke, his voice cracked with emotion. “I know what you’d like to hear. And I wish I could tell you that I do. But we’ve always been honest with each other.”
He breathed in. “Rebecca, I like it here. Everything is at the tip of your fingers. Don’t you think you could get used to this? You’ve admitted to enjoying Beth’s double oven. And why would you want to wash towels by hand when you’re used to her washer and dryer?”
Rebecca thought a moment. “I’ve enjoyed our time here. And I’m thankful for the opportunity to help your folks. But when I’m back in Arthur, I won’t miss these amenities.”
She lifted her hands in a satisfied gesture. “I guess you could say that I’m happy with the simple life.”
“Rebecca, this is the simple life. Don’t you see?”
Rebecca considered his question. The back of her neck tensed as she and William locked gazes. At that moment, she confirmed what she had really known but not wanted to admit. William wanted to become English. As she looked at him, she realized he was waiting for an answer.
She didn’t mind speaking her heart, even though she was fully aware that William wanted to hear otherwise. “No, William. To me, the English life is not simple. In fact, it’s much more complicated than the Amish ways.”
His eyes reflected his confusion.
Rebecca went on in the calmest voice she could muster. “There are
more decisions to make in this world. Yes, living Amish requires more physical work. I’m not denying that. But mentally, the English life is more complicated. I understand why you might prefer living like your father, William. And I don’t begrudge you that. But I’m the same Rebecca I was before coming here.”
She gave a helpless shrug. “I still prefer to stay the girl I’ve been the last eighteen years.”
In silence, they looked at each other. Rebecca noted the sad expression on William’s face. Obviously, he was disappointed that she had failed to be taken in by this newfound life. But she, too, was equally disappointed. Because the man she loved had changed.
She wouldn’t be concerned if this change didn’t affect their future. But right now, she wasn’t sure if William would return to Arthur.
After they arrived at the Conrads’ home and William tied the horse, they walked in tense silence toward the house. She didn’t bother to ask how the horse and buggy would be returned to the owner. Her future with William weighed heavily on her mind. She needed guidance. She needed Old Sam.
*
The month of July was going by quickly. Letter in hand, Rebecca quickly stepped to the mailbox in front of the Conrad home. If she couldn’t walk to Old Sam’s red barn and talk to him in person, she’d settle for asking his advice the second-best way she knew. The good old postal service. She couldn’t call because he didn’t have a phone.
All night, Rebecca had agonized over her conversation with William. Finally, at two in the morning, she’d flipped on her lamp and had written to the wisest person she knew.
As the white chunks of gravel crunched under her shoes, she smiled a little. As she did so, a small yawn escaped her. Why hadn’t she thought of contacting Old Sam before?
As she anxiously stepped away from the house, the grinding noise of electric saws from the shop filled the air.
She reached the mailbox, where a small yellow butterfly hovered gracefully. While the warm breeze nudged the bottom of her long skirt, Rebecca pulled the letter from its unsealed envelope and read the contents out loud. She wanted to make sure she’d made her concerns clear, so he would know how to best counsel her. And if anyone could tell her what to do about William, it was Old Sam.
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