by Duggar, Jill
Mom has said that acceptance is the sweetest language from one soul to another and that rejection is the most bitter. We have seen by her example that when you have a cheerful countenance and give an enthusiastic, friendly greeting to others over the phone or in person, the other persons feel God’s love flowing through you to them in a special way. By investing in others’ lives you quickly realize that the more you give of yourself, the more joy you receive! (Of course, our parents have cautioned us not to be too overly friendly with people of the opposite gender, as that can send the wrong kind of message!)
Duggar Family Hospitality
And now, on to one of our favorite topics: hospitality! Growing up, one of the biggest ways we practice putting communication skills and manners into action is when we welcome guests into our home for fellowship and a meal. Our house can require quite a bit of effort to get all cleaned up and organized beforehand, but we find that it’s well worth it. I think we would all agree that some of our most wonderful memories are from those evenings when we’ve had other families in our home.
The Duggars can make a mess in a hurry, but when we all pitch in, we can clean up a place in no time flat. We divide up tasks, and everyone gets involved, from oldest to youngest. Some help prepare the meal while others clean up the house and yard. Having company is a good incentive to get organized, but Mom says if we waited until the house was spotless before we invited guests, we’d never have anyone over! If we don’t have time to get everything done, we’ll just focus on straightening up the downstairs and keep the upstairs-disaster-zone off-limits for the evening. But that’s okay. We love the saying, “If you want to see us, stop by anytime. If you want to see the house, give us two weeks’ notice!”
Another Duggar family tradition is that when we line up to fill our plates at mealtime, we let all guests go first, followed by the ladies in our family. The younger boys quite naturally want to zip to the front of the serving line. One day one of the boys, eager to chow down, came up with what seemed like a great idea to him (we will not mention his name, but it starts with the letter J). He simply filled his plate ahead of time while everyone else was lining up. Then he set it aside as he waited for the others to slowly make their way down the line. He was thinking he wouldn’t have to risk being the last one in line, and as soon as the girls had their plates, he’d be all set to dig in. Jill explained to him that his idea was innovative but still impolite.
After sharing a meal together with guests, we usually have a time to play games together (chess, basketball, volleyball, foursquare, or the boys’ favorite: football). Then, after most of the kids have run out their energy, Dad will usually call everyone to gather in the living room for Bible time and an opportunity to share testimonies and fellowship.
We always enjoy hearing salvation testimonies—how a person came to know the Lord and trust Him as Savior—and if we have a couple in our home, we almost always ask them to share how they met. Whether we are meeting new friends or spending time with old acquaintances, we continue to make such fond and wonderful memories together through these interactions.
From the time our parents were newly married and throughout our growing-up years, Mom and Dad have always gone out of their way to invest in others’ lives. It seems like almost every week they are asked to counsel couples or to talk to a young person who is having some struggles. We all consider our home a ministry center that God has given us to use as a place where we can encourage others spiritually and enjoy special times of fellowship. We encourage other families to do the same, inviting a family to come for dinner and then direct the conversations to spiritual topics.
Pictured here (a few years ago) are Jill and Joy-Anna as they help prepare a meal in the kitchen.
Many times our parents have guests over and then ask if it would be okay if we watch one of Jim Sammons’s Financial Freedom Seminar messages together from embassyinstitute.org and then discuss it afterward. Once they watch one message, most people want to go through the whole series. Mom and Dad have used this to disciple others, and we all have seen many people grow in the Lord through this.
God desires for each person to experience a dynamic and abundant life. If we will ask Him to forgive us for the things we have done wrong and turn over the control of our lives to Him, He promises to freely give us eternal life! (Read John 3:16, 10:10, Romans 5:8, Ephesians 2:8,9.) The way you find true meaning in life is by discovering God’s purpose in creating you. He wants to be your best friend, to put peace in your heart, and to lead you through life’s journey.
THANK YOU FOR STICKING with us through this super-long chapter and letting us share some of the ideas involved in relating to the world while “growing up Duggar.” We love sharing Jesus’s love with others, along with the principles that have helped us in our own lives. Mom and Dad have modeled for us how to interact with others respectfully, how to share an enthusiastic greeting with all we meet, and the blessings of extending hospitality to people from all walks of life.
We know we’ve shared a lot of concepts about relationships, but it is our prayer that God will direct and encourage you as you begin to make them part of your own lives.
A FINAL WORD
Catch the Spark
THIS BOOK HAS BEEN written amid a great deal of prayer. As we’ve worked, we’ve thanked God for the opportunity to share our story, and we’ve asked Him to help this book become an encouragement to many other girls and to draw them closer to Him.
And again and again, we’ve prayed for you. We love you!
You are the reason we’ve written this book, and we’ve held you close to our hearts as we’ve worked. We hope by sharing our family’s story, we’ve helped spark your enthusiasm for following Jesus.
From our heart to yours, we can tell you there is no greater purpose in life than knowing and having a real relationship with Jesus Christ. We pray that God will bless your life to the degree you seek to follow Him. We love you!
Jana, Jill, Jessa, and Jinger
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge Him,
and He shall direct thy paths.
Be not wise in thine own eyes:
fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
—Proverbs 3:5–7
P.S. Please e-mail us at [email protected] and let us know how God is working in your lives.
Thank you for your interest in our family and for reading our story. It’s been a blessing to us to be able to share it with you.
© SCOTT ENLOW
Jana is twenty-four and the eldest of the Duggar daughters. She leads young ladies in a ministry called “Journey to the Heart.” Three years ago she obtained her First Responders certification and volunteered on the local fire department for a year and a half. She also has had the opportunity to attend births as a labor coach and stays busy managing the family mailroom!
© SCOTT ENLOW
Jill is twenty-two and currently a student midwife. You will oftentimes find her counseling girls via phone, text, in person, or email. She enjoys playing harp and violin, and keeps busy studying Spanish, checking up on pregnant mommas, volunteering on the fire department, and helping out on political campaigns.
© SCOTT ENLOW
Jessa (twenty-one) is talented at playing several instruments. She can hear something once, and the next thing you know she’s pickin’ it out on an instrument. In her “spare time” she enjoys reading books, memorizing scripture, discipling friends, and spending time with her family. Jessa has the gift of organization and loves using it!
© SCOTT ENLOW
At twenty, Jinger is always full of energy, that is, when she has a cup of coffee in her hand! She has become quite the photographer and likes picking up tips from professional crews that often come through. Jinger loves jammin’ in the living room, playing duets on the piano with Jana. She has a passion to reach the world for Christ, so she often passes out gospel tracts in
her many shopping outings!
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Howard Books
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Copyright © 2014 by Jana Duggar, Jill Duggar, Jessa Duggar, and Jinger Duggar
Anecdotes in this volume are based on real incidents but may have been edited and details may have been changed or composites created to protect identities or for illustration purposes.
Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. Public domain.
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Howard Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.
First Howard Books hardcover edition March 2014
HOWARD and colophon are trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
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Edited by Sue Ann Jones
Additional writing contributed by Charlie Richards and David Waller
Interior design by Davina Mock-Maniscalco
Jacket design by Kent Jensen • Knail, LLC
Jacket photographs © Scott Enlow
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Duggar, Jana.
Growing Up Duggar : it’s all about relationships / Jana Duggar, Jill Duggar, Jessa Duggar, Jinger Duggar.
pages cm
1. Duggar, Jana. 2. Duggar, Jill. 3. Duggar, Jessa. 4. Duggar, Jinger. 5. Duggar, Jim Bob—Family. 6. Daughters—United States—Biography. 7. Families—United States—Case studies. 8. Family size—United States—Case studies. 9. Christian life—United States—Case studies. I. Duggar, Jill. II. Duggar, Jessa. III. Duggar, Jinger. IV. Title.
HQ536. D852014
306.850973—dc23
2013036030
ISBN 978-1-4516-7916-8
ISBN 978-1-4516-7918-2 (ebook)