A Risk Worth Taking

by Heather Hildenbrand

  I exhaled. Cautiously, the conversation around the fire started again. “Somebody get some music going,” Frank called out. I turned to do just that, happy to have a distraction, and almost ran into my dad. I looked up into his solemn face.

  “You okay?” he asked quietly.

  “I’m fine. Geez, Dad, you scared me. I didn’t even see you there.” I ran a hand through my hair and willed my heart to beat at a normal rate.

  “I know. But Danny did.” My dad and Ford exchanged a look. “Thanks,” my dad told him.

  “No problem,” Ford said. He nodded in Danny’s direction. “He’s only going to get worse the more he drinks.”

  “Frank’s taking him home after they finish their game,” Dad said.

  Ford nodded once. “I appreciate it.”

  “It’s not for you. It’s for him.” Dad’s eyes narrowed as he stared across the darkness in Danny’s direction. “Boy pisses me off on my property, I have no problem kicking his ass all the way back off of it.”

  “Dad,” I said, my brows lifting in surprise. It took a lot for my dad to lose his temper. I couldn’t remember ever hearing him talk about fighting. My mom always said I got my “mellow” from him.

  “And he’s fired, too. I’ll make sure to tell him before he leaves.”

  I hugged my dad, feeling some of the tension drain off him as he squeezed me back. “Thanks, Dad. I’ll help you reseal the ’houses this winter.”

  “Sure. Between the two of us and Frank and Casey, we can handle it.”

  My eyes flickered to Ford as I realized why he wasn’t included. He wouldn’t be here. It was such a weird, surreal thought. He’d become such an ingrained part of my life in such a short period of time. It was strange to imagine my life without him in it. What would that be like?

  My first thought: empty.

  Dad wandered back to the rest of the group, his eyes intent on Danny. I suspected he’d watch Danny like a hawk until Frank took him home. Fine by me.

  Ford took a step in my direction. “Boyfriend?” I asked.

  He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I knew he would back off if I said that. Sorry if it upset you.”

  “So you said it to get Danny to leave me alone?” Something inside my chest fell with a crash into my gut. I wondered if he could see it happening, because he closed the distance between us and grabbed my hand. He opened his mouth to speak and I held my breath, sure that whatever he was about to say would change things. I wasn’t convinced it would be good, either.

  Behind Ford, music suddenly blared to life. A popular country song. Someone belted out the lyrics over the noise of the radio. Ford blinked, forgoing whatever answer he’d been about to give, and my breath returned. The moment was gone. Maybe that was a good thing.

  “Can we take a walk?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  The noise of the partiers and the radio masked our exit. We slipped away without incident and I opted for the woods. It would be darker so we couldn’t go far, but it was the only place I knew no one would find us if they decided to wander.

  “What’s up?” I asked once we stood inside the trees.

  “I don’t know. I didn’t realize—” He ran a hand over his face as if frustrated.

  “Ford? Is everything okay? I’ve never seen you get … angry. I mean, I’m not even sure that’s what it was.”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Danny’s a douchebag.”

  “Okay. Definitely pissed.”

  In the darkness, I saw his cheeks lift in a rueful smile. “Maybe a little.”

  “I’ve never seen you mad before.”

  “Was it scary?”

  “Terrifying,” I teased.

  Then I thought of the way he’d faced Danny down, and even though he hadn’t said or done anything overly threatening, there was something about the calm in him as he waited to be obeyed that told me it would’ve been scary if Danny hadn’t complied. And then he’d said “boyfriend.” Scary in a different way.

  “Do you feel better?” I asked. “Did walking help?”

  In answer, he leaned down and kissed me, our mouths fumbling a little to find each other in the darkness. Once they did, he deepened the kiss, parting my lips with his tongue. By the time he let me go, I was breathless and clinging to his shirt.

  “I feel better now,” he said, his voice gravelly.

  “Mmm,” I managed.

  He chuckled and a beat of silence passed. “I didn’t need the walk to calm me down,” he said, the amusement gone.

  “Why did you need it?” I asked, letting go of him and standing on my own. The seriousness in his tone made my nerves jump.

  “You asked why I called myself your boyfriend. I wanted to explain.”

  I braced myself. “Go on.”

  “I know we said we wouldn’t put a label on things. To make it easier for when I … And I think that’s smart, but …”

  “But?” I prompted when he didn’t continue.

  “But I don’t care about smart. I care about you.” He grimaced. “Okay, that might’ve come out wrong. What I mean is I want everyone to know you’re with me. I want them to know they can’t grab you and try to kiss you.”

  “Were you jealous?” I couldn’t help but be suspicious. If jealousy were the reason for this change of heart, I didn’t want it. Commitment out of fear wasn’t real. And I didn’t want anything that wasn’t built on truth. I’d seen firsthand what that did.

  “Not in the way you think. I know you didn’t want to kiss Danny. Or anyone else. I know people ask what we are and I know you don’t have an answer for that.”

  “It doesn’t matter—”

  “Yes, it does. It matters to you. And you matter to me. And I want you to know how much. I want to show you in every possible way. I want you to call me yours for as long as we have left together.”

  “You want to be my boyfriend,” I repeated uncertainly, determined to ignore his reference to the fact that he was still leaving in less than three months.

  “Yes.” He pulled me to him until our chests pressed together. “I like the sound of that. Say it again.”

  I giggled, feeling silly about how ridiculously happy this conversation made me. “You’re my boyfriend,” I repeated, the words still coming out like a question.

  “Yes.” He bent down, his mouth next to my ear. “And you’re my girlfriend.”

  I thrilled at the words. “Yes,” I agreed as I brought my mouth around to meet his. “But, only if you agree to one thing,” I said, momentarily breaking our kiss.

  “You have a condition?”

  “Just one. You have to plan something for us. And you have to think it through ahead of time.”

  “What, like a date?”

  “Yes, a date. One that’s all your idea. No help from me or Casey. I know you’re capable of making a plan when you want to.”

  “Of course I am. We did that once already.”

  Even in the darkness, I knew he could see my eyes widen. “Did you hear yourself just now? Once? That was two months ago. So, that’s enough? You’ve met your quota?”

  He chuckled. “I see your point. I do this and I’m your boyfriend?”

  “Yes.”

  “A planned date it is then.”

  I went back to kissing him, this time without stopping.

  Ford

  I could’ve stood here and kissed her all night. It had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with the high of hearing her call me her man—and telling her she was my girl. I’d never had that before—never wanted it. At least, not more than I wanted the road, the freedom of my own choice. But I did with Summer.

  I tried not to think about the fact that we only had a couple months left. More and more often, I’d found myself wondering what it might be like if I stayed. What she’d look like in the snow. Or standing next to a Christmas tree. Or what expression she’d wear opening a brightly wrapped present. How much fun it’d be to reseal those greenhouses with her family. All things I’d m
iss if I left.

  When I left.

  Shit. It was when, not if. But when she kissed me like this, her hands running through my hair, down my neck, over my chest—leaving seemed pretty distant. And blurry around the edges. Summer was real and right in front of me. Did I want to leave and make a life where that wasn’t the case anymore?

  When her hands wandered to the button on my pants, I pulled reluctantly away. I wasn’t going to lay her down here. Not that I didn’t want to, but we weren’t even on the path and it was pitch dark out here. I could hear things crawling over the leaves. Not to mention the mosquitos were fierce.

  “Babe … let’s go back to the party,” I said.

  I could feel her disappointment, just as sharp as my own. “Yeah, I guess we should get back,” she said.

  I gave her another quick kiss. I loved that she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. “We’ll pick this up later,” I said, adding one last kiss along her ear. She shivered in anticipation.

  “I’m going to hold you to that,” she whispered.

  “I expect nothing less.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Ford

  “The way to love anything is to realize it may be lost.” - G.K. Chesterton

  I spotted Summer even before Darla made it up the drive. She sat in the porch swing, her legs dangling so that her toes scraped the wood underneath. My heart picked up speed at the sight of her. Honey-brown hair hung over her tanned shoulders in loose waves that begged to be windblown. And those shorts. Dear God. I bit my lip as I took in the length of tanned legs showing in the cutoffs she wore. I fucking loved those shorts. I needed a trip to church just to thank The Man responsible for them.

  It was late enough in the day the humidity had eased off, and I could breathe with the windows down. I hung an arm out the open window and waved as I parked. She smiled, the expression lighting her face and reaching all the way into her eyes. I loved every time I put that smile there. I could spend a lifetime earning that smile and it still wouldn’t get old.

  I got out and slammed the door a little harder than necessary at the thought. Lifetimes weren’t on the table. For either one of us. So, where had that thought come from? I looked up and found Summer standing on the edge of the porch staring down at me, and I knew. When she looked at me like that, “forever” seemed like the most reasonable thing in the world. Or the most natural. With Summer, it was easy to think past today.

  Too easy. I needed to remember the facts. And just enjoy what we had while we had it.

  “Hey,” I said, stopping in front of the steps where she waited.

  “Hey.” She smiled at me, her eyes sparkling with pleasure.

  She launched herself off the steps and into my arms. I caught her easily and swung her around. She laughed as I twirled us, her legs kicked out and her face tipped up to the sky. She looked free. It made my heart feel full to watch it happen, to know I’d had something to do with creating her happiness. And it made me glad for the night I had planned.

  Yes, I’d planned our night. It was something you didn’t see every day.

  “You ready?” I asked, sliding her body suggestively down mine as I set her on her feet.

  “Let’s go.” She kissed me as she slid lower and even the quick peck she laid on me was enough to get me going. I breathed deeply in and out, trying to expel the tension—and discourage the little guy in my pants already standing at attention. It was early for that. We hadn’t even left the house yet.

  I swatted her ass and she tossed her hair and giggled before climbing up into the cab. I got in and cranked Darla.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “You’ll see.” I wanted it to be a surprise. Too many of our nights ended up with her picking the location or giving me directions or telling me where things were. The downside of her knowing this town better than me. I’d been searching for a spot like this for weeks. Now that I’d found it, I wanted it to be all my own doing. And I wanted to see the look on her face when I showed it to her. Prove I could make a damn good plan when I wanted to.

  She stuck her lip out, pretending to pout. Damn, she was adorable when she pouted. “You’re way too cute for me to feel sorry when you do that,” I told her.

  She broke into a smile and we drove on.

  When I made the left onto the overgrown dirt lane she cut me a curious look. I just smiled and kept driving. The truck jostled over potholes and I slowed, not wanting to damage the food I’d stashed behind our seats. The trees on the right gave way to open space and then the lake came into view, sparkling in the late-day sun and rippling with bugs too small to see from here. I downshifted when we hit the incline. Darla chugged along, not complaining a bit.

  At the top, I pulled to the right so she couldn’t see the view around the bend and cut the engine.

  “We’re here,” I said when Summer didn’t move.

  “Where is here?” she asked, looking around uncertainly.

  “Not private property,” I assured her. She caught my eye and we shared a smile, both of us remembering the mud fight—and our unexpected audience. I didn’t want any interruptions so I’d checked the records on this place. It was on the very edge of her dad’s property and considered public land. We were good to go.

  “Come on. I want to show you something,” I said, getting out.

  I came around and took her hand before leading her up the tiny path I’d found a couple of weeks ago. Branches overhung the trail and I used my free hand to hold them away so we could pass. “Watch your step,” I warned when we reached the briar patch that’d grown across the trail.

  “Ford, this isn’t even a trail. Where are you taking me?” she demanded.

  “It’s worth it. You’ll see.”

  I pushed the last of the branches out of the way as the trail ended, giving way to the grassy hilltop and the overlook of the valley below. I walked to the edge and pulled Summer to my side, tucking her into my shoulder and wrapping an arm around her. I waited a beat, letting her take it all in, wanting her to see it for herself without me pointing it out.

  “What do you think?” I asked finally.

  “It’s … beautiful,” she began. “And wait—is that …?”

  I followed her gaze. “The site of our first date?” I finished. “Yes.”

  “It’s not muddy anymore,” she said, straining to see the spot where we’d fallen and first made out.

  I pointed farther out, past the dirt road. “Just over those trees, you can make out the rooftop of Sadie’s.”

  “The other half of our first date,” she said.

  “And there,” I pointed, swinging my arm all the way right, “is your backyard.”

  She stood on her tiptoes. “I can just make out the greenhouses from here. Wow. I didn’t realize we were so close to the farm. Oh, and I can see the hill we use for the bonfire.”

  “Another of our dates,” I added.

  “All of our memories can be seen from here.” She turned to me, her eyes wide in wonder. “Ford, this spot is … How did you find it?”

  “I wanted a place you didn’t know about. I wanted you to see your world from a different angle.”

  She slid her arms up my chest and locked her fingers around my neck, rising on her toes so we were face to face. “I already do,” she whispered. “Every single day. Thanks to you.”

  When she kissed me, the view had nothing on the wonder of her mouth on mine.

  I ended the kiss before I could get carried away. I could see the desire in her eyes when she looked up at me and it was all I could do to step away. I adjusted my jeans and gave her a rueful smile. “I thought most girls expected dinner first?”

  “I’m not most girls,” she said with a wicked smile.

  “No. You’re definitely not. But tonight’s mine and we’re sticking to the plan.”

  Her jaw dropped open dramatically. “Ford O’Neal. You have a plan?”

  “Shut up.” I planted a kiss on her lips so she’d do just t
hat. She laughed around my kiss and I shook my head. “I’m going to get some things from the truck. Be right back.”

  “I’ll be here.”

  I hurried back to the truck and grabbed the bags of food I’d brought with me. Back on the hillside, I spread the blanket out and set the bags down, pulling out the containers of fruit and cheese.

  “Wow, this looks great,” Summer said, sitting down in front of me and uncovering a bowl of grapes. She popped one into her mouth. “Mmm. You did good for someone who never plans ahead.”

  I raised a brow at that.

  “All right, you did good period.”

  “Thank you.”

  I reached into the bag and pulled out the clear glass bottle I’d stashed. I wrapped it underneath the hem of my shirt, dusting it off and revealing the dark red liquid inside.

  “What’s that?” she asked while I opened it and poured.

  “Something special I’d set aside. Just waiting for the right night to come along.”

  “And tonight’s special enough?”

  “You’re special enough.” I met her eyes and held them. Her stare pulled me in, unspoken words passing between us like a conversation of emotions. There was so much I wanted to say but couldn’t. I had a feeling she could see it all in my eyes anyway. “Drink?” I asked, blinking myself back to some semblance of reality.

  “Thanks.” She took the plastic cup with lowered lashes and sipped. I wondered where her thoughts had gone that made her want to let the moment pass without words. Summer was usually a fan of words—and defining moments. “Mmm. What is this?” she asked.

  I winked. “Homemade brew. Family secret.”

  “It’s really good.” She took another sip. “And this view is gorgeous.”

  My heart pounded, blood rushing in my ears. I scooted closer, enjoying the feel of our bodies pressed lightly together from ankle to thigh, and slung an arm around her shoulders. “You’re gorgeous,” I whispered.

  She blushed at the compliment, and the slight redness that colored her cheeks made me want to kiss her until she couldn’t breathe. I loved that blush.