I want to beg him for a recent address or something so I can write to her at least, but I’ve worn out his patience for the day. So instead I frown, my hands clenching into fists by my side as anger courses through my body. “No,” I snap, my temper flaring. “You can go back to working on your stupid car. Sorry to bother you over something so trivial. I thought you’d want to do everything in your power to save your daughter’s life, but I guess I was wrong.”
His mouth falls open and I swear his eyes tear up.
I should apologize. I know he’d do anything for Maddy, but I don’t say another word. Before he can say anything, and before I say anything else that I’ll regret, I run back inside, ignoring his voice as he calls my name behind me.
When I slam the garage door, I hear Maddy call my name from the living room. I storm around the corner and see her lounged on the couch, reading a magazine. She raises an eyebrow. “Temper?”
“Yes.”
She nods. “Go eat something. That usually means you’re hungry.”
“Does not.” She stares at me and I sigh, defeated. “You’re probably right.”
“There’s cheesecake in the fridge.”
“Awesome.” I go grab a slice and take it straight to my room. Dad comes inside just as I reach the bottom of the stairs and calls for me again, but I ignore him.
Once I slam my door, hoping he hears it, I open my laptop and google “Carmen Santalina in New York City.”
Two names come up. Which is better than ninety-six, so that’s good. I don’t like going behind Dad’s back, but if worse comes to worst, I’ll have to come up with a plan. Something stupid probably, but at least I care enough about Maddy to try. I can try to get a hold of Carmen. Try both phone numbers. That shouldn’t be a big deal, right? One of them has to be her.
What a phone call to receive, though. Or make. A long-lost daughter calling her runaway mother to ask for a body part. Sounds … morbid. And I’ll admit … A little awkward. Desperate? I’ll have to talk myself up before I do it. Because I can do it. I talk to people on the phone all the time.
Does texting count, though? I don’t think so.
I freeze as I hear someone coming down the stairs and close my laptop before Dad figures out what I’m doing. But Dad doesn’t open my door. Maddy does.
“Hey,” I start, then freeze.
Her skin is pale, and I know by the look on her face that something’s wrong.
My heart speeds up as she wraps her hand around the door frame and looks at me with wide eyes. My whole body goes on alert. “Maddy? Are you okay?”
“I don’t know.” She shakes her head, still staring at me.
I uncross my legs and put my laptop down. “What do you need?”
“I think … I’m gonna …”
I’m jumping off the bed before she finishes her thoughts. Her eyes roll back in her head as she collapses and I catch her before her head hits the floor. I fall backward, with most of her weight on top of me, and smack my head on the doorframe.
“Dad!” My head is fuzzy as I scream and try to maneuver out from beneath her. I check to see if she’s breathing first, pushing down the panic that’s taking over my senses. She is, but it’s shallow. And she’s pale. So pale.
I hear the garage door open and slam shut. “Mia?” Dad’s shout echoes through the house. “Mia? What’s wrong?”
“Dad, down here!”
Running footsteps echo through the kitchen and then he’s coming down the stairs. He turns the corner and hurries toward us, still sprawled on the floor at the end of the hall. “What happened?”
“Maddy passed out. I don’t know … She’s so pale. What do I, Dad? I don’t know what to do!” I set her head on the floor and try to keep myself from hyperventilating. Her dark hair is splayed around her face and she looks like death.
Dad’s bent down next to me in two seconds, listening to Maddy’s heartbeat, checking her breathing, all the while with his phone in his hand. I don’t know who he’s talking to, I don’t know what he even says, I just keep my fingers on Maddy’s pulse, feeling the slowness of her heartbeat and praying it doesn’t stop.
Dad’s so calm as he talks to the person on the other end. All businesslike, without a trace of panic in his voice. Like nothing’s wrong and everything’s going to be okay. When he’s finished talking, he hangs up and turns to me. “Mia. I need you to call Mom at work. Tell her to meet me and Maddy at the hospital.”
I barely remember standing. I don’t remember calling, but there’s a phone in my hand and Mom’s crying on the other end. The conversation is short and I hang up, standing as Dad pulls me out of the way.
Sirens wail in the distance, getting louder and louder until they stop when they reach the driveway. Red and blue ambulance lights flicker outside my window as Dad races to the front door.
Paramedic’s swarm the stairs and down the hall to where Maddy still lies, and I find myself backed into the corner, kneeling with my arms folded as I rock back and forth. I don’t cry. Not yet. There’ll be plenty of time for that later. All I can do is watch as the paramedics hook her up to several wires and tubes and carry her down the hallway and up the stairs on a stretcher.
I get to my feet, my body shaking as Dad puts both hands on my shoulders. I think he knows I’m in shock. “Mia, are you with me?” A nod is all I manage. “Good. I’m going with them to the hospital. Stay here and call your brother. He’s at Jacob’s house. See if he can stay there tonight. We’ll call you when we know what’s going on.” He wraps me in a quick hug and runs down the hall after the paramedics.
I stare at the doorway, listening to his footsteps fade away. The panic hits me then, and I bury my face in my hands as the front door slams.
Then everything’s quiet.
And I’m alone.
CHAPTER 5
Under the glamour and the fame
It was all a ruse, it was all a game
Who was I to believe you were tame?
You put on quite a show
I thought my feelings would be spared
You said you loved me, said you cared
How could you throw away all we shared?
You put on quite a show
All I see is you in his arms
Glitz and money, his good looks and charms
How did your actions not raise my alarms?
You put on quite a show
—J.S.
Maddy looks so peaceful when she sleeps. And not in a creepy way. She’s just like that all the time. At peace with the world and everyone around her. She’s especially at peace with herself. She never thinks, says, or listens to the negative. Only positive. Always so positive. Even though she’s dying at just sixteen, she still finds a reason to smile.
I wish I could be like that.
Her eyes flutter open and she’s disoriented for a second before she turns to look at me, lifting the arm with the IV tube sticking out of it to grab my hand with her own. “Mia.” She smiles. “I knew you’d be here. You always are.”
“Of course. How are you feeling?”
“Eh.” She moves around, getting comfortable. “Thanks for stopping my fall. I passed out, didn’t I? I knew I was going to. Sorry if I … uh … startled you.”
She’s apologizing? Is she crazy? “Don’t apologize.” I pause. “But I’m not gonna lie. You seriously freaked me out today. Probably the most you’ve freaked me out … ever, actually.”
She takes a shaky breath and pushes the button next to her to lift the top half of her bed so she’s sitting up. “I know. I didn’t mean to.”
“Sure you did.” I roll my eyes.
She laughs. “You’re right. It was my body, so I secretly planned for it to pass out in front of you like that.” We both laugh, but after a second she shuts her eyes and shakes her head. “Sorry. Still a little dizzy.”
I squeeze her hand. “Do you feel okay other than that?”
She shrugs. “I’ve been better, I think.”
�
�I know.”
She lets out a slow breath as she glances at the monitors hooked up to what seems like every part of her. “You know, it will be nice when all this is over.”
“What do you mean?” She better not mean what I think she means.
She smiles. Not a happy smile, but more of that “at peace” stuff she gives off. “We both know I’m not going to make it.”
“Maddy …”
“No, really. I just want you to know …” She clears her throat and blinks as her eyes well up with tears. “You’re the best sister I could have ever asked for. All of our memories. We’ve had a lot of fun, haven’t we?”
I’m shaking my head, tears slipping down my cheeks as I stare at the blankets on her bed. I can’t look at her when she’s saying this. I don’t want to remember her like this. I want her to be healthy again. Perfect like she was when we were growing up. “Please, don’t. You can’t say good-bye right now. You’re not going to die.”
“It’s okay, Mia. I’m not afraid. I’ve never been afraid. I’ve always wondered what Heaven will be like. I imagine it’s beautiful and wonderful. I know I’ll be okay there, you know?”
“Maddy, please.” I want her to stop. I can’t handle this right now.
She keeps talking, oblivious to my protests. “I’m not going to find a donor soon enough. We both know it. The doctors know it. Believe it or not, a lot of people are just as sick or sicker than me with this same stupid disease and need a kidney more than I do.”
“No.” I’m shaking my head. “You need one just as much as they do, if not more.” No one deserves a kidney more than she does. She holds this family together. She’s the only person I’ve been able to count on in my whole life. Besides Dad and Mom. But they can’t help her. And neither can I. I think of that box on my bed and that faded envelope from earlier. There could be a solution.
Maddy squeezes my hand again. “I don’t. I’d rather someone else get a chance to live. It’s too late for me.”
My head snaps up. “It’s not too late.” A crazy idea is forming in my head. One that is a last resort, but one I’m determined to make happen. I just need to figure out how. And gather enough courage to go through with it.
“What? What are you thinking right now?” Maddy asks, a curious look on her face.
I lean closer to her. “It’s never too late, Maddy, and I’ll prove it. I swear to you, you’ll be okay. You’re going to live and things will be just like they were before you got sick.”
“What are you planning to do? You always get that look when you’re plotting something and it’s never a good thing.”
“Don’t worry about me. It’s not a bad thing at all. It’s a good thing. Something that will help you. Someone who can help you.”
“Mia …” She frowns.
“I have to do this. For you. I promised I’d save you, and I’m going to. Just … Trust me, okay?”
“Okay.” She bites her lip, a nervous look on her face. “Just … promise you won’t do something stupid.”
“Nothing stupid. Promise.” My voice cracks on the last word and tears trail down Maddy’s cheeks as I look at her. I take in her features, praying she’ll hang on until I get back.
“Pinky promise?” She smiles as I hook my pinky with hers.
“Pinky promise.”
The house is quiet when I get home, and instead of wallowing in self pity and crying some more, I head straight to my bedroom. My laptop still sits where I left it and I open it, writing down the two addresses I found earlier. I can handle two.
I go to the closet and grab an old backpack stuffed on the top shelf. Not quite a suitcase, but it will work. I put a few changes of clothes inside, pajamas, my phone charger, and some other things I might need. Hopefully the hotel has shampoo and stuff. It should, right?
I scribble a note to my parents, letting them know where I’m going, and set it on the kitchen table. They won’t find it for a while. They’ll be at the hospital, and Zack is staying with his friend tonight, so it gives me a few hours’ head start before they freak out and try to stop me. It feels wrong to do something so drastic, but it’s all I can think of. And I’m desperate.
The hallways seems to lengthen as I leave my room. Like I’m doing a walk of shame or something. I glance at our family pictures, especially the ones with Maddy smiling, happy and healthy. It’s going to be like that again. I know it. After lingering in front of our most recent one, I hitch my bag on my shoulder and turn the corner.
My grand piano sits untouched in the music room and my fingers twitch, wanting to play. I walk over to it, run my fingers over the keys, and play a short piece I memorized last year for good luck. The music calms me some, and once the song ends, I let my fingers linger on the notes as they fade into the silence of the house.
A new energy fills my soul. I stand up straight, take a deep breath, and walk out the door.
The next time I see my family, I’ll have my birth mom with me. And Maddy will be okay. She’ll live.
My car waits for me in the driveway and I’m thankful no one’s home. I can’t believe how easy this is. Now, if I can just calm my nerves, everything will be perfect.
That’s the only thought that occupies my mind as I get in my car, peel out of the driveway, and head toward the airport.
CHAPTER 6
I see through your troubled tears
Let me take away your fears
Tell me how to make things right
Chase darkness away, leaving only light
—J.S.
I love being spontaneous, but sometimes, imagining what consequences will await me when I actually do said spontaneous thing makes me question my motives. Though saving my sister is motive enough, but defying Dad to do it? I’m going to be grounded forever.
I stare at the plane ticket in my hand. My parents won’t freak out until later when they find my little note, but waiting for them to find it is kind of stressing me out. Maybe I should call them instead.
Then again, I really don’t want to suffer their wrath right now. So, I wait for the ticket lady to call my seat number and watch the crowds of people carrying luggage, trying to find their gates. One lady walks by wearing dark sunglasses, a tiny red dress, and four inch heels, dragging a rolling suitcase behind her. Pretty sure every man in the vicinity turns to watch her. I wonder who she is, where she’s going. I’ve always gotten a kick out of people-watching. Not staring, just watching. Inconspicuously.
An older couple walks by, hands held tight together. The man takes great care to help his wife shuffle down the terminal, not getting frustrated at her slow pace. A cute little family comes next, three kids holding hands and trailing after their mother. Then I spot a dad pushing a little girl on top of a large, rolling suitcase. When she tumbles off, he gives her the sweetest hug ever, and I reach in my purse and pull out a pen and a notebook. Instead of staring at everyone and creeping people out, I’ll make a list to pass the time. Lists calm me down more than anyone will ever know.
Super weird. I know.
My pen hovers over the paper while I figure out what kind of list to write. I chew on the end of it a second before I start to write.
Reasons my parents are going to kill me.
Yes. That will work nicely.
Reason 1: I’m going on an airplane and flying clear across the country without Mom and Dad’s permission. But I’m 18 now. It’s cool. I can do stuff like this. I guess I’ve only been 18 for a few days though, so … Yeah …
Reason 2: The money I spent on one of the last available seats on this flight was from Gram. To use for college. (Don’t tell her. Ever.)
Reason 3: I’m going to see my birth mom. Still not sure what I’m going to say to her. And I really really hope she speaks English. Which is a dumb thing to worry about, seeing how she married my English-speaking dad.
Reason 4: I have no idea where I’m going to stay or where the heck Carmen even lives, but I’ll figure it out. Hopefully.
Rea
son 5: I’m irrational. That’s what Dad will say. And yes. I am.
Just as I start a list of punishments they might inflict, a woman’s voice on the loud speaker echoes through the terminal.
“First boarding call for Flight 234 to New York. Rows 1 through 10 may board now.”
My heart pounds even though they haven’t called my row yet. The rational part of my brain tells me to go home. But I’m not rational. Not today.
People around me stand as they check their tickets and, thankfully, it’s not my turn yet. I can freak out some more before I have to make myself walk over there.
Why am I freaking out so much? It’s not like I’m doing something horrible. Trying to save someone’s life isn’t a bad thing. But I have to admit, this is pretty huge. I’ve never done anything like this in my whole life.
There was that time when I was fifteen when I took Dad’s car for a joyride with Maddy in the back seat, but we only went around the block a few times, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Although Dad did ground both of us for a month. I still think he overreacted.
I sit there a moment, thinking of Maddy. If she knew what I was doing, she’d beg me to stay. Beg me not to waste my time tracking down our lost-cause mother. But I can’t think about that now. I’ll do anything for her. And I have to do this.
A line forms at the door to the jetway, and people file onto the plane. I watch the line shorten and shorten and my heart speeds up again as the woman taking tickets gets on the intercom. “Boarding call for rows 1 through 20 on Flight 234 to New York. You may board now.”
Interlude Page 3