He lets that hang in the air for a moment and then looks down at his guitar. “Here we go.”
Music flows from his guitar. Beautiful, amazing, perfect. A melody that reaches into my soul and tries to carry me away. And just when I think it can’t get any better, he opens his mouth to sing.
Words not meant to remain unsaid.
Fight their way through my clouded head.
You’re the one who set me free.
Vanquished the demons haunting me.
You changed me more than words can say.
A debt which will take all my life to repay.
Fly away with me, your soul set free.
Whatever you dream of, together we’ll be.
Let’s walk among the stars tonight.
Leave darkness behind, step into the light.
Your smile, your touch, your everything.
Peace to my soul is what you bring.
I hear your voice, begging me to stay.
To leave my old life and run away.
There’s no place on earth I’d rather be.
Than right here and now, just you and me.
Fly away with me, your soul set free.
Whatever you dream of, together we’ll be.
Let’s walk among the stars tonight.
Leave darkness behind, step into the light.
He strums the last few notes and the video fades to black. I have no words. I hear sniffing behind me and look to see Ana and Maddy both wiping tears away.
“That was so beautiful,” Maddy says.
I stare at her. It couldn’t be for me, could it? Why would he write it right after we met? Or did he write it for someone else before he met me and then uploaded it to get everyone’s attention off the band’s breakup story? What is going on?
“You need to call him.”
“I can’t! I deleted his number.”
“What?” they both yell.
“I didn’t think I’d ever see him again. And besides, didn’t you hear the story? I have no idea where he is or what he’s doing. He told me at the airport he needed time.” I frown.
“Time for what?”
“To figure out his life. What he wants.”
Maddy rolls her eyes. “It’s obvious he wants you.”
“Right.”
She gives Ana a look that I choose to ignore.
“Do you think he wrote that song because he was too afraid to tell you how he felt in person?” Ana asks.
Jax? Scared? Ha. He sings in front of millions of people and doesn’t even break a sweat. No. I don’t believe that for a second. “Why would he be scared? I’m not scary.”
“You are. A little,” Maddy says.
I put my face in my hands. “I don’t know what to do.”
Maddy pats me on the back. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure it out. If he went through all that trouble writing a song for you, he’ll figure out a way to see you again.”
“Right.” I’m still not convinced that song is for me, but whatever. At least he’s figuring things out with his life. He’s doing something for himself and not for someone else.
“I’m hungry. Anyone want some Italian ice?” Maddy grabs a menu off Ana’s table.
“Strawberry sounds fabuloso,” Ana says.
“Yes,” Maddy agrees. “Yes, it does. Although I do like the pina colada. It’s a toss up.”
While they talk about Italian ice flavors and which ones are the best, I listen to Jax’s song again. What if he did write it for me? How do I feel about that?
So amazing there are no words to describe it.
I need to find a way to see him again.
CHAPTER 34
Stop your worrying and face your fears.
Laugh. Cry. Live. Love.
Stay true to yourself though it may be hard.
Always carry on.
You only have one life to live.
Be sure you live it well.
Take a chance, be brave, be strong.
It will be worth it in the end.
—J.S.
The airport is crowded as we stand in the main terminal. Ana looks great, though she still has a little pain, even after six weeks. I’m sure she will for a while, seeing how she just had an organ removed from her body.
That sounded super morbid.
“Are you sure you’re okay? I wish we could walk you to your gate.” She picks up her carry-on and slings it over one shoulder.
“I’m fine, Mia. Promesa.”
I smile. “That means promise.” She’s taught me a tiny bit of Spanish since she’s been here, although I only know like three words. I need to get on that. It’s part of me. A part of my heritage. And now, I don’t want to let it go. I’m going to miss her being around. I’m glad she decided to stay so long.
“Si.” She glances at her watch and then nods at me. “Keep practicing, and the next time I call, I’ll speak only in Spanish.”
“Uh …”
She laughs. “Don’t worry. I’m just joking.” She takes a moment and searches my face. “I don’t want to do this, but it’s time to say good-bye.” She hugs me tight. “Thank you for everything you’ve done. For all you’ll do. I’m so proud of you. And I know, deep down, my sister is proud of you, too. She may not see it now, but I guarantee she’ll see it later. There’s no way she can’t.” She pulls away but still hangs onto my arms. “You’re such an amazing woman. Life has good things in store for you. I know it.”
“Thank you, Ana. For everything.” I turn away as she says good-bye to Maddy. They’re both crying. Of course they are. They share a bond more powerful than anything I can imagine. Ana saved Maddy, and I guess I, in a way, saved Ana. The guilt she felt for never getting to know us is still there, but it’s softened now. And I’m so happy it has. She’s a feisty, strong woman. And after nearly six weeks of getting to know her, I’m really going to miss her.
We watch as she says good-bye to our parents and then goes up the escalator. She gives us one last wave before she disappears.
“Well, that was sad,” I say, draping my arm around Maddy’s shoulders.
She’s still wiping tears away. “I can’t believe she did that for me. I really can’t. I never even knew her at all and she saved my life? What can I do to repay something like that?”
I smile. “You can write her. Email. Keep in touch. That’s all she needs, I think.”
She nods, her eyes still misty.
Dad puts his arm around the both of us and kisses our heads. “I’m so happy my girls are back together, happy, healthy. I could just burst out into song or something.”
“Dad,” I say with a groan. “Please. Not here.”
“Why not? I could get that guy over there to play his guitar for me and I’ll sing.” He points straight ahead and I laugh as my eyes fall on a guy with a guitar standing near the glass doors. He’s wearing a baseball cap and has a tattoo around his bicep.
Jax.
I can’t believe what I’m seeing. He’s here? In California? How did he get here? I shake my head. A plane. Duh. The question is why is he here? I don’t realize I’ve stopped walking until Dad gives me a little shove. “It’s okay, Mia. I don’t think he bites.”
Maddy giggles behind me, but I don’t turn around. All I can do is stare at Jax, who’s looking at me like I’m the only person in the entire world.
Dad rests his hand on my back. “We’ll meet you in the car. Don’t take too long.” And with that, he and the rest of my family leave me standing in the middle of the terminal, my eyes locked on a boy I thought I’d never see in person again.
Jax takes a few steps toward me, and I can’t seem to make my feet move. I’m stuck. Trapped in a place of wonder and confusion. Emotions seem to come from everywhere, slamming into me, almost knocking me over. I don’t move. All I can do is put my hand over my mouth to try to stop the sob that escapes, but of course it doesn’t help.
I finally get my feet to move and instead of walking like the normal,
sophisticated person I should be, I run to him and throw myself into his arms.
He buries his face in my hair as he sets his guitar case down, still hanging on to me with one arm. “Don’t cry,” he whispers.
“I’m not,” I gasp as tears flow freely now. So embarrassing. I annoy myself with my emotional ways. I pull away from him and get a good look at his face as he sets me on the ground. “How? Why?” My brain isn’t working. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know how to describe the emotions taking over, the happiness, the joy, the fear. It’s all there, laid bare for everyone to see. But for a small moment, I don’t care. All I care about is him right now. He’s here. With me.
“I’ve been planning this moment for a while now. After your sister called me a few weeks ago, we figured out the place and time. And from the looks of things, I take it the surprise worked pretty well.”
I look around, wondering if my family really did go to the car or if they’re watching us from somewhere close by. I don’t see them. “Maddy called you? How? Why? How did she even get your number?”
“Silly girl. Phone records.”
Duh.
He shrugs. “I was planning on seeing you again anyway. While I was figuring things out with my career, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And trying to figure out how to find you. I had your name and number, so I guess I could have called, but I wanted to see you again in person.”
“What if I have a boyfriend now? It’s been almost two months, after all.” His face falls for a second and I can’t keep my smile in.
“Then I would have tried to steal you from him.”
I let that sink in, not knowing what to say to that. “So, you broke up your band.”
He smiles. Sad and happy. If that’s possible. “I did.”
“How does it feel? The freedom?”
“Well, after a million hits on my first unofficial solo single, I think I’ll be okay.”
“How did you get out of your contracts.”
“I have a good agent who looked between the lines. We compromised with our record label, did a bit of negotiating, and I fired my manager, who has run us into the ground ever since we started touring. Things just happened to work out when I set things in motion. It was scary, and I’m a little sad about my band not playing together anymore, but I feel so much peace about the whole thing. I haven’t felt so right about something for a long time.”
“I’m so happy for you.”
“I’m excited and nervous for the journey ahead. It may be hard, but if I’m happy and doing what I love, that’s what matters.”
“I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks.” He touches my chin, sending chills down my body. “I knew I’d never be happy with the way I was living. Even before I met you. You just helped me speed up the process a little. You kicked my butt to actually do something about it. Thanks for that.”
“You’re welcome.” I back away and fold my arms, still reeling about the fact that my whole family knew about this and I didn’t have a clue. I don’t like surprises. They know that. “You know, you could have texted me or something. You didn’t have to come all the way here. I would have texted you back.”
He snorts. “Texting isn’t personal. Seeing someone, touching them, talking to them.” He tucks my hair behind my ear. “Looking in someone’s eyes. That’s personal. Texting is just a way to say important things in a convenient—or I think the word I’m looking for is lazy—way. Or easy way. Getting on a plane to tell a person how you feel about them, that’s much more effective than a text message.”
I grasp onto his last words and my heart speeds up. I feel the same way. About all of it. “And how do you feel about me?”
He looks at me like duh. “I told you I don’t date a lot, and I was serious. I don’t get attached. But after spending time with you, and especially when you left, you kind of took my heart with you. Cheesy, yes, but sometimes the truth sounds cheesy.”
It’s anything but cheesy right now. But I don’t tell him that. “That song. Was it …”
He grins. “It was for you.”
Words can’t begin to express how much I love the song, so I stare at him, still not believing.
Noticing how tongue-tied I am, he continues. “After you got on the plane, I didn’t really know what to do with myself. You gave me so much to think about. You helped me see what I really wanted out of my life. I wanted a fresh start. I didn’t want to sing with Blue Fire anymore. I didn’t want to tour and stay on the road for months at a time. I didn’t want to live the Hollywood lifestyle anymore.” He smiles. “I’m done with it. What I want …” He trails off and his voice softens. “What I want is to make my own way in this world. Write my own music. Even if it doesn’t go platinum or whatever. I just want to do what I want. And I want to be with you. Just you. To take you on a real date. To stay up for hours just to talk to you. To get to know you. I told you at the airport in New York that I believe in fate. And the second I met you on that plane, I knew fate had given me a break. Something to work for. To hold onto. So here I am. Clean and ready to move on with my life. It won’t be as glamorous as before, but I hope you’re okay with that.”
“Uh, yeah I’m okay with that.”
He laughs as he looks at my expression. And, honestly, I’m not sure what I look like. Confused? Awestruck? In love maybe? Maybe?
“Why me?” Is all I can manage to get out.
“Because you’re real.”
“But—”
“All I’ve ever wanted is to have is something real. And you are that something.”
“But your music—your life! I’m a nobody. I’m not one of those glamour girls. Gorgeous girls. I’m just Mia.”
He grabs my hand and pulls it to his lips. “I know.”
Which brings me back to thinking about what he did for Maddy. “Jax, what you did for my family. I can’t …” My lip quivers and tears threaten to spill over again.
“I didn’t do anything any other decent person wouldn’t do.”
No one else would have done that. No one else would have given someone he didn’t even know a handful of money for plane tickets and a hotel. He can have his pick of anyone—anyone—and he’s chosen me. There’s no way this is real.
Jax leans closer, trying to figure out what I’m thinking maybe. “You can tell me to go home if you want. Just say the words and I’ll do it.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want that.” At all.
“That’s good. But I want you to know right now that I’m not perfect. Never have been. I’m a work in progress. We all are, I think. But if you’ll give me a chance, I’ll be the person you want me to be.”
I stare at him. He’s asking me if I’ll give him a chance? Is he joking? Because there’s no way I’d turn this boy down. Ever. I take his hand to pull him closer, wrap my arms around him and breathe in his scent. “I want you to be you, Jax. That’s all. Just Jax.”
“Hopefully you won’t get sick of me then.” He hugs me back and I can’t even handle all the feelings right now. I just know that he’s here. And he’s real.
I pull away, but we’re closer now than before. “So, what now? What are you going to do?”
He shrugs. “I have a few more shows to play with Blue Fire to finish our tour for good and then we’re going our separate ways. Which is the direction it was going the whole time, so it’s not a huge surprise for our fans. As for me, I want to go to college. Preferably, if you’re okay with it, close to wherever you go.”
“I still have a year of high school left.”
“So?”
“I was thinking of maybe graduating early.”
“You’ll be in college with me before you know it.”
A smile creeps to my lips. “What would you major in?”
“I don’t know. I was thinking of being a nerd and majoring in music. But you already knew that.”
I slap his arm. “I’m not a nerd.”
He pulls me
close. “We can be nerds together.” I feel his breath tickle my ear. “You know … I’ve been thinking about that kiss back at the airport in New York. In fact—” He pulls away, just enough that we’re basically nose to nose. “I can’t get it out of my head.”
I’ve thought about it every day since. But I’m not about to tell him that. My cheeks flush anyway with the memory buzzing through my head. “Sorry about that. I’m not usually so bold.”
“Don’t apologize. It was … Amazing.” He leans closer, his lips an inch or two away, and as soon as they touch mine, it’s like fire and ice and magic and sprinkles all rolled into one. Which is completely insane, but as I melt into him, smelling him, tasting him, it makes perfect sense to me. And that’s all that matters.
It’s like in those movies when a couple reunites at the airport and they confess their love for each other and kiss like no one’s watching. Making all of us chick-flick lovers sigh breathily.
But for real. It’s like that. And I love it. So much. His arms, already wrapped around my waist, tighten, and I feel myself smile as someone whistles at us.
He smiles too as we break apart, glances around at the audience we’ve acquired, and takes my hand in his. “Let’s get out of here.” He ignores the people taking pictures of him and kisses me again before we walk through the crowd and out the door to meet my family.
They’re waiting next to the car, and Dad and Jax shake hands like they’re best friends. Which is weird. I still have to talk to them both about going behind my back like that.
Maddy grins like the Blue Fire fan she is as he introduces himself to her, and Zack gives him a few high fives and starts talking about Legos or something, and Mom, Mom just smiles at us. Which is all I need from her right now. A smile can say so many things, especially when no words can adequately describe the way you feel.
“Not sure about that eyebrow ring,” Dad says.
“Dad …” I start, embarrassed.
Jax doesn’t look offended at all. “No worries. I was thinking of taking it out anyway.”
“No!” I yell and blush at the look he gives me. “I like it.”
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