No one was home. I was relieved because I had an English essay to write. I put my purse on the kitchen island and almost jumped out of my body with joy when I saw my birthday present from Attila on the counter. There on a beautifully decorated plate was the one thing he made that surpassed all others: a scrumptious chocolate brownie with a fondant mini-bow on top.
I ate the brownie with a tall glass of milk, savoring every bite. I decided to do the outline and research my English essay and then finish writing it the next day. I liked background research before I started my acting projects, too. It helped me get into character and determine my voice. Memorizing the lines was so easy once I knew the character’s motivations.
~ | ~ MARIE MICHAEL PRODUCTIONS
Celia’s ring tone interrupted my essay planning. I rushed to the phone, almost falling on the floor in the process of getting to it.
“Hi,” I blurted out.
Celia asked, “Is this a good time?”
“Yeah, I almost killed myself getting to the phone.” I explained. “I’m writing an essay for school.”
“Lia, my suspicions are confirmed. You and your mom are both producers. All payments and expenses are run through the entity, either yours or your mom’s production company depending on your accounting practices. The Muse project did not need to be renegotiated when you turned eighteen because your mother was not representing a minor. You received a declaration of emancipation immediately after you turned fourteen, after your existing contracts with your other studio and agent were in place when you were thirteen. Clearly, you and your mother did not get those contracts renegotiated after you were emancipated. I always wondered how they got around filming suggestive sex with a minor in the Left to Die film. You evidently initiated your own project for your Marie Michael Productions company at the time you starred in Left to Die and when you starred in the “Muse” projects. You were not a minor under SAG jurisdiction. Filming the scene the way they did didn’t violate any of the California child labor laws. Do you understand?”
Mom was very, very smart and so was Martin. I remembered being on set that day. It was April 23, the day after my fourteenth birthday. That morning, I signed papers with a notary on the set of Left to Die to file for the emancipation of a child actor. I remembered that I had thought that emancipation meant that I wouldn’t be a slave anymore and I said so out loud. Everyone in the room had laughed. I was embarrassed and didn’t know why they laughed so nervously. I did the rape scene that afternoon.
“No. Not really.” I admitted. “What does my emancipation have to do with Muse now?”
“It doesn’t now. What I’m concerned with is that you have your own mini-studio, Marie Michael Productions. That means you’re stuck doing Muse for a very, very long time. If you bail on Muse, you ruin your own finances and affect Michelle’s income stream. Michelle’s legal name is Michelle Marie Michael so I’m not sure how much of the company is yours and how much is hers, perhaps they’re separate. Richard and Ira are also in the web. I don’t see how you can get out of acting when the brand is so successful. You’re not replaceable.”
“Oh. Now I understand perfectly.” At least I got out of some of my obligations. Mom always made it clear to me that I was bound to Muse. It seemed ironic that she tied me to Muse as she was tied to Rose. She felt like a slave. I did too; so much for me being emancipated.
Celia added, “Do I have your permission to discuss this with Michelle?”
“Absolutely. Thank you, Celia, for watching my back. Right now, I definitely feel like a child.”
“It’s what I’m here for, to love and protect you. Now, you don’t worry about this at all. Nothing has changed, and I’m certain Michelle is committed to protecting you, too. She loves you. Focus on school and on graduation. We are very proud of you for not taking the easy way out and just getting your GED.”
“Thanks.” I hung up. I knew it couldn’t be so simple to get out of this business when I was a success. But I couldn’t think about that now. I had a semester of school to catch up on before finals.
I sat at my computer, trying again to outline my English essay. I wondered about the timeless themes we studied throughout the year in all the novels we read: selfishness, unrequited love, longing, angst, greed, inequity, conflict, and suffering. What about change? Change is the constant of time. Everything changes. I may look the same as I have looked for years but my awareness and attitudes have changed. My beliefs of what were good and bad also changed based on the context in which my beliefs were challenged. I was currently dating Manuel, the ex of my former best friend. That was an underhanded thing to do to my former best friend. But dating him was right for me, even if I might rot in hell for it later.
I went outside when I saw that the sun was setting, an incomprehensibly beautiful time of day. The orange and red glows from the sun reflected on the ocean and colored the lush green treetops with an amber haze. The color from any blossom popped out of the amber-green mosaic. I saw only a dozen houses from over a mile away on the Pacific Palisades ridge. I escaped Santa Monica, Brentwood, and Los Angeles. I was in my own world. I was at peace until my phone rang.
“Hi, Mom.” I put the cell on speaker. I was not happy that she interrupted the sunset.
“Celia just chatted with me. I can tell you’re upset. I need to explain and clarify. I’m not one of those evil Hollywood controlling mothers from which SAG tries to protect child actors.”
The Screen Actors Guild is the union to which all performers and crew belong. It sets the guidelines for the treatment of child actors, recommending how they should be paid and regulating the maximum number of hours they are allowed to work. I was protected from being naked or doing stunt work, performing anything that could be considered “morally compromising” or being in a sexual act. On set, the SAG representative was there every day, making sure the director was protecting the SAG union members. One time, the SAG rep made one of the actors move away from me because she was concerned that the second hand smoke from his cigarette was too close to me. Celia wanted to know how Mom got around the SAG representative who would have been on the set of Left to Die the day that the director filmed the rape scene. Celia truly believed that the rape scene was morally compromising but few industry people thought so. The conservatives sure thought so when the film came out, but all the controversy guaranteed that practically everyone on the planet who had a few extra bucks in their wallet saw the movie.
I interrupted, “I know, Mom. I’m not upset. You just killed my buzz. I am in the hot tub. The sunset is extraordinary.”
“Oh, Marie,” she laughed. “You’re so simply pleased by the smallest joys. You’re very special, dear.”
“Thanks, Mom. So how did you get around SAG filming that rape scene?”
“Ha! Straight to the point, just like Celia. I like that, you know.” She enjoyed speaking to me. Good. She did not feel guilty. She was not a Hollywood monster mother.
“Martin is brilliant. The contracts we signed when you were thirteen bound you to your agent and film studio for only five years, until you were eighteen, a legal adult. You were required to do two projects per year at first, but we negotiated that you only needed to do four feature films within the contract period and that you could produce your own work as long as you met your promotional obligations for the four studio films.” Mom sounded proud of herself.
“What your agent and studio did not know, was that Martin simultaneously set you up as a producer of the Left to Die project and prepared your paperwork to seek emancipation for a child actor, which you were allowed to apply for at fourteen years old in California.
“You met the requirements to become emancipated: need for personal gain, maturity to handle adult responsibilities, and financial independence.
“Martin submitted your request for emancipation to the courts and you received the Declaration of Emancipation when Left to Die was in the editing room, before the project was complete. Since you were fourteen and would be em
ancipated before Left to Die hit theaters, Martin was sure that SAG could not come after us for filming suggestive sex with a minor.”
“Okay, so how does that affect me now? How does it affect Muse?” I asked, wanting to both know and not know the answer. It was a good news/bad news worry. How far trapped was I? Was I a fly in a black widow’s web?
“The producers are Richard, myself, Ira, and you. You have your own production company, Marie Michael Productions, a mini-studio. That’s how it’s done with stars. I have my own production company, too. It’s a lot better than being tied to a movie studio. Trust me, I was so tightly bound to the ‘Rose’ projects, I had no choice but to do the TV series.” She paused, waiting to see if she needed to say more. Mom only tells what is necessary, never more. Being in this business for so long has made her guarded, even with family.
“How come I wasn’t listed as a producer on the credits?”
“You didn’t need to be, except in the Hollywood accounting. But don’t worry about that, dear. I promise you that none of us are cheating you out of anything. Like the rest of us, you get gross points, a percentage of gross revenue, rather than net profit participation. Based on each producer’s percentage of ownership in the project, we share in the production, distribution, and marketing overhead. Rather than billing your birthday party to just your share of the marketing overhead, we essentially all pay for it.”
“I didn’t know that I paid for my own party. I thought the studio did. Now I see. Interesting. I guess I’m a businesswoman,” I laughed.
“Yes, you’re very talented, dear.”
“So I screw all of you, my family, if I quit Muse. Mom, this really sucks.”
“I know, dear. And, I won’t lie to you. There’s more. You’re bound by the production contracts you have with us. But we’ll talk about it when I get home. We all want this to work out, and we all love you,” Mom said sincerely.
I sighed. Of course there was more. There was always more.
“Marie, we just want you to focus on school and relaxing for now. Go shopping. Buy some new shoes or something.”
I laughed, picturing myself buying my one-thousandth pair of shoes. Mom loved shoes. Every time she got mad at Dad when they were married, she would storm out of the house, go to Fred Segal on Broadway and 5 in Santa Monica, and come home happier with a new pair of shoes or a bag. The departments were separated into little nooks, as if you were strolling on a curved path in a quaint little street market. The staff was aloof. Mom could find all the brands she liked, banter the help, and no one would stare. It was private.
“No, Mom. No shopping today. Yuck!”
“Oh, Marie. Some day you will see what you’re missing! I want to go shopping now. I can’t wait to get back!”
“Well, thanks for explaining. We’ll talk about ‘Muse’ after graduation. I really need to eat and study some more.”
“Wait, what happened with Manny?”
“We’re good. But I realized that I can’t live without him.” I took a big breath. “He decided to cool it with having sex, but I worry that I’ll lose him if I don’t sleep with him.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Mom, Renee told me how it goes. I loved Evan and lost him because I didn’t show him. I love Manny with all my heart. If I don’t have sex, he won’t think I love him.”
“Oh, no, dear. Be true to yourself, please. Manny understands now. I’m sure of it.”
“I hope you’re right. Otherwise I’ll do what I have to do. Love you, Mom.”
“Stay strong, Marie. I love you to pieces. Goodnight.”
I reached out of the hot tub and pressed “end” on my cell. I turned to reach for my towel but was startled to find a large black spider on it. I bravely shook the spider off, careful to see where it had fallen to be sure it would not crawl on me. Of course, I could not help but think that I was very much the struggling fly trapped in the black widow’s web. I only then realized how incessant that web was. This was a web that could only collapse on itself if I broke it.
~ | ~ DENSE
I put down my history book when I heard the front door open and then close.
“There weren’t any photographers here when I got off work this morning,” Manuel wondered. “I was all ready to punch someone.”
I beamed as he crawled on the bed next to me. I was in my sweats, he was in his busboy uniform, shoes off, of course. It was after midnight.
“Well, they want photos of us together. So there will be many cameras this morning when we leave for school. I canceled with Elise for today because I need to get some sleep. I can’t deal with the pain of physical exertion after such a tough weekend. Maybe we should take your Vespa, helmet free. Give the fans what they want.” I laughed.
Turning to my side to make sure he looked intently into my eyes, I added. “And please, please don’t punch, push, flip off, cuss out, or even speak to a photographer. You’ll make things worse and can seriously get sued.”
He understood. “I promise to restrain myself. I can do this because you are more than worth it.”
He kissed my forehead and then quickly kissed my lips. He was off the bed in an instant. He headed for the bathroom and I followed to the closet and changed into my pajamas. I had already brushed my teeth so I got into bed, happy that he’d be staying the night.
He settled onto his pillow and held my hand. “Do you mind if we go to sleep right now? I’m exhausted. I didn’t sleep at all Friday night or last night.”
“Sorry last night was tough.”
“Don’t be. I got a tattoo just now when you flashed that smile of yours. It will get easier to be so close to you in bed.”
“Good night,” I sighed and reached over to turn off the light. “Love you.”
“Hmm. I have to say my prayers.” Manuel put his hand around my waist. He mumbled and then said, “Amen,” kissed my cheek and then settled into his pillow. “Love you, too, Marie. Buenos sueños.”
I laid there for several minutes before I fell asleep thinking about how grateful I was that Manuel was in my life. I wondered if his prayers made a difference. I didn’t understand why he needed them. My mother thought that she had failed me by not nurturing my spirituality. I wasn’t so sure I had a unique spirituality. I just didn’t want to be naughty and didn’t want to hurt people. I had so much money that I felt better donating it than buying superficial things with it. That wasn’t really a spiritual value, it was a compassionate one.
I woke up the next morning feeling great. I was so happy. I took a moment to assess how my body felt. I had a slight headache, nothing intense. My vision was clear. Then I realized I didn’t feel nauseous.
Manuel asked, “Why are you smiling?”
I turned to him, overjoyed. “I’m glad you’re awake. I can’t believe it. I don’t feel like puking and I can see you!”
“What?”
“You know, my vision takes a while to clear but it’s clear already and my headache isn’t so bad. I actually want to eat something.”
“Well, great!” Manuel lifted me out of bed. “Let’s fatten you up!”
We got ready for school after breakfast. I gave Manuel a garage door opener to keep in his backpack so he could enter through the garage and avoid harassment. Mom had settled the PR disaster and we were free to be a public couple while Richard’s team worked with my publicist on the strategy for the Constantine’s Muse promotion.
“Alan is going to tease you. You know every pic off the internet will be taped to your locker. You ready, Manuel?”
“You’re so worried about me, Marie. For the last four years of me being your best friend, you go through hell and back all by yourself while I’m in my little protected world. For like three months straight, I whined and cried over Kate. I must have texted you every day about some girl I dated, trauma or heartache. You spent all that time responding to my panicked emails and then my anger and confusion. I’m sorry I was so dense.”
He put the milk and what
was left of the fruit back in the fridge and started loading the dishwasher. I had a housecleaner who came every weekday to do that.
“Marie, even when you were leaning on me for help, I was listening to you but didn’t have any idea about what you were talking about. I was not really supporting you or being there for you because I had no concept of the heavy crap you really deal with. I knew you had seen more crap at Hollywood parties than I had; people doing drugs, having sex and stuff… but seeing it firsthand just now with Byron, some guy who, ya know, and then right there in front of us, with his sick “let’s share you” attitude. And the way Byron doesn’t shut up.” He followed me to my room.
He continued, “I watched your reaction to him. You’re strong with him with your words but so weak in your expressions. I really thought you wanted to try when I saw you blush but then your words said there was not a chance. Your face showed total sadness. You never show those expressions to me. Then I realized that you had to put yourself back together after Evan, Matthew, and Byron.”
He stopped me at my bedroom door and embraced me. He added, “Now I get it. I’m not as strong as you for sure. But I can handle Alan, and can handle being in public with you. I hope you get out of this business soon.”
I closed my eyes, letting my body relax into him. “I won’t be able to stop acting for many years and now it’s not so bad. Let’s see. I’ve done seven films not counting minor roles or cameos. I’ve had eight male co-stars. Now I will choose to work with nice, professional men. Maybe it’s not so bad? I will be in control of the films and events I do. Besides, I am never going to have a normal life. People will always stare at me…recognize me. Do you know people still recognize Tom? It’s been, what, nineteen years since his last film! He signs autographs!”
“Yeah, that’s wild. My dad signed an autograph a few months ago, too. People still recognize him.”
“What?” I didn’t know Carlos did anything except work at a delivery company. He met Liz delivering a package to her apartment nineteen years ago. I stepped back from Manuel and looked at him inquisitively.
Loved In Pieces (The Intentions Series) Page 19