by Leah Holt
Having it felt like the threat was more real, like the chance I might have to use it was heightened by a thousand. Nicholi had started demanding that I carry it. It seemed to go from a form of protection to a constant piece of flare I was expected to wear.
Most of the time I would just throw it in my purse and pretend it wasn't there. I didn't like having the heavy steel with me every second of every day. I got it, I completely understood the reason for needing it. But that didn't mean I agreed with it.
When I took it out yesterday it was on impulse, a knee-jerk reaction that I didn't have time to think about. I wanted to embrace that, to see myself as a fearless woman, a warrior to the trade and soldier to the game.
It didn't matter how much I tried to convince myself, I would never be the soldier Nick expected me to be.
Who the fuck am I? Why is this so hard? Why does it feel so wrong?
Holding it today was eerily un-welcomed. This was happening, and there was nowhere for me to go. All my time in the office, during formal agreements and conditions, was a mere crack on the surface. Today I was standing in the belly of the beast, its heart pounding in my ears, feeding the anxiety running through my body.
Maybe I hadn't taken all of this as seriously as I should have.
Maybe my denial of the danger left me weak. . .
Knowing and seeing were two different things completely. Stories explained the truth I was living in, but being a part of the movie wasn't going down as easily.
Swallowing hard, I glanced at Birch with a nervous frown. His skin was illuminated under orange rays, bronzing his skin like a Greek god. His eyes twinkled under the fading sunlight, and for a split second, I forgot about what we were there to do.
He had done it again, pulling me into his presence and making the rest of the world drift away. The beach had gone silent, the danger no longer crashing on the rocks and making my insides shake. I was grounded, standing firmly on my own two feet.
Our eyes connected and he reached for my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. With a single nod, he placed his attention back on the men that were making their way to the meeting spot.
Voices echoed across the beach, filling the starchy air and prickling my skin. Squinting my eyes, I could see three figures bobbling and moving through the sand.
“Nicholi, my friend, long time no see.” An older man walked up, holding out his arms. “How the years have built a wall between us. How are you?”
The man was much older than Nick, possibly his mid sixties. His head was bald on top, with a think layer of gray hair wrapping the bottom of his skull. Small beady eyes matched Antoine's, and his large, bulbous nose was a replica of Collin's, who was standing on his right.
Is that their father? It has to be.
“Georgio, good to see.” The two men shook hands, both of them wearing fake smiles. “I didn't expect to have you joining us today. Antoine didn't mention this when we spoke.”
“Yes, well, I wasn't going to come, but my son made it sound worth my while.”
“Did he?” Nick asked, tilting his head and looking past Georgio to Antoine. “And how is that exactly? Because our deal is still the same, nothing has changed.”
Stroking his jaw, Georgio kept his eyes firmly on Nicholi. “Are you sure about that?” Glancing over his shoulder, he looked at Birch and myself with a sick smile. “Because I heard things very differently.”
Curling his arms behind his back, Nick teetered on his heels. “So he told you how disrespectful he was during our meeting? How he antagonized my daughter,” he said, giving me a quick look and pointing at me. “And how she had to knock him down off his high horse?”
The man ticked his head back and forth against his shoulders, crinkling his eyes with disbelief. “You could be right, and you could be wrong. There's two sides to every story, and they never match up. But the one thing we both know. . .” Taking in a slow breath, Georgio's mouth curved into a condescending grin. “You don't have a daughter.”
“We're not here to discuss my family, Georgio.”
I could hear Nick's teeth as they ground down with each word. He wasn't as calm as he normally was. I wasn't sure if Georgio and his sons could pick up on his subtle cues, but to me, he was practically screaming in the man's face.
“Originally no, that's not what this meeting was for. But it is now.” His smirk spread high up on his face, eyes shining under a shadow of death. “I thought we could toss some numbers around, see if we could come to an agreement. I know how much you love numbers, Nick, and I'm willing to spend.”
What the fuck is this guy doing?
Is he trying to buy me?
Sucking in a huge gulp of air, my lips parted, ready to scream at the guy to go fuck himself. But Birch grabbed my wrist and stopped me, shaking his head no.
Staring into his eyes, I pleaded with him to stop this whole thing, to make that man eat his own tongue and get me the hell out of there.
Softening his gaze, he spoke to me with just his eyes. He was telling me to relax, that his father would never sell me to some sick fuck. He didn't want me to worry, and no one was going to touch me.
I could see what he was thinking, I could feel what he was saying in his touch and the look on the face. I wasn't going anywhere.
Swallowing hard, I jerked my head back to the men, pure hate filling my muscles and turning them into trembling sinew ready to strike. My finger fluttered over the trigger, eager and willing to put a bullet in all of their heads if anyone even tried to come and take me away.
“Georgio, our deal is done. If your son wants a piece of ass to have his way with, he can't buy it here. She's not for sale, I don't sell family. And even if I did, I wouldn't sell her to the likes of you.”
Antoine jumped up to his father's side, his fists balled by his hips. “I want her! I deserve to have her for what she did to me! How dare you—”
Slicing a hand through the air, Nick stepped up, chest to chest with Antoine. “How dare I?” Baring his teeth, his words came out sharp. “You come into my home and insult us the way you did and she shrinks your dick for being an asshole, so you think you can buy her from me?”
“That's not what happened! You screwed with me, you teased me with that bitch and I want what I deserve for it.”
“Georgio, you better get control of him or he won't be standing on two legs.”
Placing a hand over Antoine's chest, Georgio guided him back. “I was under a different impression, Nicholi, of what happened.” Veering his stare at his son, he snarled. “He painted a very different picture. I was under the assumption she had a number, obviously you need more convincing.” Stuffing his hand into his pocket, Georgio pulled out a thick white envelope and held it out. “Your money is here, and I've included an extra forty grand for her.”
Snatching the money, Nick opened the envelope and began to thumb through the bills. My heart began to sink as I watched him. It looked like he was actually debating if that was enough to buy me.
“What?! No! Fuck you! I'm not going anywhere with you!” Taking a step forward, Nick held up his hand and shot me a look.
Stopping, my jaw hung open, unable to comprehend what the hell was happening. Is he selling me? Is he really fucking do this?
“So you mean to tell me that the only reason you're here is to buy my daughter? That's what you came for?”
Georgio smiled, nodding in agreement. “I came because my son said you had something that we could use. And I think he's right, she'd look gorgeous with the others.”
Flashing confused eyes at Birch, I could see his lip twitch and the muscles in his arms tense up. He was staring straight ahead, not even registering the panic on my face.
“What don't you understand when I say I don't sell family?” Nick angled his head, a curious expression sitting on his face.
“She's not family, Nicholi, she never was. We both know things would be easier for you if someone took her off your hands. You won't miss her, we'd get so much more from h
aving her than you ever will.” Drawing a wrinkled thumb over his bottom lip, Georgio looked up at Nick with devious eyes. “Let me put it to you this way; we do this here and now, or maybe you'll be getting a call tomorrow from someone I think you'd rather not have sniffing around your shit.”
What the hell does that mean? Who the fuck is this guy?
Sucking in a hard breath, Nick exhaled as he tisked the man. “You should have answered differently, this was a mistake, Georgio. And Mistakes need to be fixed.”
A small smile teased my lips as I watched Nick deny the men their play toy. I had questioned who this family was and what kind of people they were. I had doubts about my place here and if I could truly be one of them.
But in that moment I knew. . . This was where I belonged.
I was as much a part of them as they were a part of me.
Turning to look at Birch, I heard a loud pop. Covering my ears, I ducked my head and threw myself into the sand. I didn't have to see it to know what it was. Someone had just fired a shot.
With my face in the sand, a second shot rang out, echoing across the water and forcing a herd of seagulls to lurch into the air, cawing and scrambling away.
Peeking out over the crook of my arm, Birch was standing beside Nick with Antoine on his knees in the cold wet sand. The tide had started to come in, splashing over Antoine's thighs as he glared up at the sky.
His face was empty, cold and emotionless. He wasn't crying, he wasn't begging or pleading for his life. Two sets of feet laid on either side of him, their heels sinking into the dirt.
Lifting his gun, Birch placed the barrel against Antoine's forehead, directly in the center. “You never did know when to stop your dick from talking.” Clicking the hammer back, he cocked his head into his shoulder as the corner of his lip twitched. “Fuck, who am I kidding. You've never been anything but a dick. You wanted to buy my girl. . . you're father had the balls to threaten my family—that was a line no one should have crossed.”
I heard the gun go off, and it all seemed to happen in slow motion. Blood exploded out the back of Antoine's head, painting the beach in red. His eyes stayed open, glossing over as he swayed for the longest second of my life. Toppling back, his body folded unnaturally, arms tucked under his waist, feet bent and twisted in the ground.
I was in shock. Unable to look away and unable to close my eyes, I laid there and watched Nick and Birch as they rolled the men into the water and let the waves steal them away.
A high pitched ringing cut through my skull so I cupped my palms over my ears, trying to make it stop. My heart was racing inside my chest, unsure if what I had just seen was real.
“Cyprus, are you okay?” Birch jogged through the sand, crouching down and petting the top of my head. “It's alright, Love, he won't be able to threaten you again.”
“You killed him—” Blinking wildly, I clutched my hair with my hands and rolled onto my back. “You didn't have to kill him.”
“Yes we did.”
“No!” yelling, I threw my hands into the ground and pushed myself up. “You didn't have to kill all of them! They hadn't actually done anything!”
“Yes, Cyprus, he would have. It wouldn't have stopped here. They not only threatened you, but they threatened our very existence. We can't have that, we won't tolerate that shit.”
“They're people, Birch! You can't just go killing people because they make a threat!” Yanking my gun out of my waist, I dropped it to the ground. “I don't want this, I don't ever want this again.” Taking a long step back, I held my hands up.
Birch lunged forward, trapping me in his arms and forcing me against his chest. “Cyprus, those men traffic women. They take women and they sell them, they would have done that to you. They would have come back for you, we had to stop them.”
“What?” arching my neck, my brows tangled in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“He's right, Sweetheart. They weren't going to give up just like that, he would have tried to get you another way. I've known that family for a long time, and usually I just turn my head to what they do. But Georgio fucked up this time. He did the one thing he shouldn't have, he fucked with my family.”
Shaking my head, I broke free from Birch's arms. “You don't know that.”
Nick stood at my side and slid his hand down over my head, smoothing my hair against my back. “Honey, this wasn't unjustified. You mean the world to me, you mean the world to my son. I won't risk an asshole like that laying in wait to take you away.”
My eyes zeroed in on the stained beach, watching the waves clean away what was left of Antoine and his family. “You're sure of that? You really think they would have done that?”
“Cyprus, have I ever lied to you before? Have I ever given you reason to think I was some cold-hearted killer?” Nodding no, Nick smiled in that same comforting way he had done years ago when he found me. “That's because I'm not. I do what's necessary, and those men should have died a long long time ago. They got a free pass, until they threatened you. I don't have tolerance for that shit.”
Pinching my elbow, Birch drew my attention back on him. “He's telling you the truth, those men were awful. The world's a better place without them anyway. We probably just saved hundreds of lives by erasing them.”
Holding out his arm, he motioned for me to come closer. Birch wrapped his big strong arms around my ribs, pressing firm hands into the center of my back. “I love you, and I'm here to protect you. You're all I care about. I'll do anything to keep you safe.” Kissing the top of my head, he laid his cheek against my gritty hair. “I'd die if something ever happened to you.”
A deep seeded need to be loved and accepted, cared for and protected, made being in his arms a comfort. I loved and trusted Birch. I loved and trusted Nick like a father.
These men had been my saviors, and they had always stood by their word.
I had to believe that they were right. I had to give in to the horror and see it as a gift.
They had saved me again, they had solidified my existence on this earth for a second time.
How could I question that?
How could I doubt the nature of their intentions?
I knew these men and what they stood for. . .
At least I thought I did.
Chapter Five
Cyprus
“Cyprus, wake up.” Birch shook my shoulder, forcing me to roll onto my back. “Come on, Babe, it's time to get up.”
“What time is it?”
“Eight-thirty,” he said, smiling down on me, his big blue eyes glittering with excitement.
“It's so early, Birch, why in the love of God are you waking me up? What are you up to?” Pushing up on my elbows, I rubbed my eyes, clearing them of the sleepy haze. “There better be a damn good reason you're waking me up before noon.”
I had trouble getting to sleep over the past few weeks. Every time I closed my eyes I kept seeing Antoine's face. It plagued me like a horror movie, making me toss and turn until my body finally gave up.
The way he looked, the calmness in his eyes and smoothness of his lips as he kept a smile on his face right up to the end, it was unsettling. I wanted that image to make it better, I felt like his acceptance should set me at ease because even he knew he deserved what was coming.
But I still had nightmares about it. I saw the pop of the gun over and over in my head. What scared me the most was I wasn't afraid, I didn't feel horrified and nervous around Birch or his father. I felt numb about the devastation they had caused, but fearful of myself.
Because deep down it wasn't that Antoine had been killed or the men I trusted had pulled the trigger several times over. . . It was because when I really looked back on it, I honestly didn't care that he had died.
What the hell is wrong with me?
What kind of monster am I becoming?
Pushing away the thought, I cursed myself for even debating if I could label myself as a monster. I wasn't a beast, I wasn't some disfigured creature that f
ed off life. I was just a girl who was being protected. I was just a woman walking a tightrope with the family that kept her balanced.
Tilting his head to the side, Birch kissed my forehead, and whispered. “You have no clue what today is, do you?”
His lips warmed my skin, sending tickling hairs down my arms. I loved when he kissed me like that. I could feel it in my bones, in every pore and muscle. That man was my world. With one kiss my mind was clear, and my thoughts were relinquished to nothing more than a single second in time that didn't matter anymore.
Because I was here; I was with the one person that helped me to believe in myself and forget everything behind us.
Neither of us are evil. We were just dealt a hand we had to play.
Nothing was simple. Death and living were both equally hard. It didn't matter which end you were standing at.
I had forced myself to forgive Birch for his actions on the beach. He said he had killed for me, that he had done it to make sure that no one would hurt me. But what he did had helped to save other women—I loved this vigilante of circumstance.
Smiling up at him, I shook my head no.
Drawing his fingers down my chin, his lips thinned. “It's your birthday.”
“My birthday?” Giving him a funny eye, I pursed my lips. “No it's not, it's August fifteenth, my birthday is in May, you know that.”
May, it was my favorite month. The flowers were blooming, the air was clean and crisp, I loved it. And since I didn't have an actual birthday to celebrate, I got to pick my own.
There were some benefits to not knowing who you were. You got to choose all the things that most had no control over. My age was a guess, my name was picked, and my birthday was a date I got to set.
Birch laughed, snuggling up against my side, and wrapping his arm around my belly. “No, not that one, your birthday with us. Today is the day my parents took you in eight years ago.”
“Oh, that birthday. Sorry, I'm still half awake.” Giggling, I nuzzled my head under his chin and placed my hand on his chest. “I can't believe it's been that long already.”