by Leah Holt
Dropping to her side, I tried to hold her, but she pushed me away. “Let me explain, let me tell you the truth.”
“No!” Her screech came out loud and unhinged as she punched her fists into my chest. “No! No! I trusted you! I loved you! How could you do this to me?”
Snagging her hands, I yanked her into a bear hug, refusing to let her go. “I love you, Cyprus, I've always loved you. That was never a lie, I love you with everything I have.” Whispering into her ear, I kissed the side of her temple. “I love you so much, I never wanted to hurt you. None of this was supposed to happen, not like this.”
Her body shrank, folding up as she began to weep. Her entire life had just changed. What she lost, she had found, what she didn't know, now had the power to destroy us both. I never wanted that, I never wanted her to know the pain she had been through.
“Why did you lie to me for all these years? If you really love me, how could you lie to me?” Sharp nails dug into my chest as she held on tight. “How could you lie to me, Birch? Tell me.”
Burying her face in my shirt, I slipped my hand around the back of her head and held her tight. “I lied because I love you. I wanted you to always be happy, I wanted to make you happy. I was selfish, I was wrong.”
Tipping her head up, she nuzzled herself into the crook of my arm. “All those times you saw me crying about losing my family, that never bothered you? It didn't make you think?”
Running my thumb across her forehead, I traced her hairline and moved down her cheek. “It always bothered me, I hated seeing you like that. I wanted to tell you so bad, but I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?” Her brows scrunched, eyes searching my face. “What were you scared of? Was it your father, did he threaten you?”
A part of me was.
I wanted to answer her, to open my mouth and spew every last drop until my soul was clean and there was nothing left filling the air between us. Her eyes made my heart bleed, sending a shiver up my spine as she stared at me.
She looked like she was genuinely concerned for me and my feelings. I couldn't understand why, not after what I had kept from her. Why would she care about me? Why should she even give two fucks about how I felt?
I was the son of the man who had killed her family. I was the boyfriend who had let her believe she was abandoned, who nourished and manipulated her mind into believing what my father wanted her to believe. I was the lover who never told her who she really was.
I was a liar.
“I was afraid of losing you. I was afraid that you'd hate me, and I couldn't ever live with that thought. I've loved you since the first moment I saw you. I was scared that if you knew the truth you'd leave me. I couldn't handle that, I could never imagine my life without you.”
“Did you really think that I would leave you just like that? That my love for you was that weak?”
Weak, no. Misguided, no.
I never thought that her love for me was weak, but hate had the power to drive people away.
“I was afraid you'd hate me.” Wrapping my fingers around her hand, I placed her open palm over my heart. “My heart beats for you, I live for you, Cyprus. If there is one thing in this world I never lied about, it's how I feel about you. That was always the truth.”
Darting her eyes between mine, her fingers nipped my skin as she curled them into my chest. She didn't use her voice, remaining silent as she gazed up at me.
Inside my head I was praying that she could feel the sincerity in my tone. She had to know that I meant every word.
Parting her lips, I didn't wait for her to speak. I kissed her. I kissed her so she could taste my love, I kissed her to remind her of what it felt like when we touched. I wanted her to remember the passion we shared and the feelings that came alive when we were together.
My muscles tensed as I anticipated a slap to the face or a punch in the gut. She didn't do either of those things. Cyprus kissed me back.
Her tongue slipped into my mouth, back arching as she lifted her hand to my nape. A hearty moan rolled from her mouth into mine as our tongues danced over ridges and tangoed together.
There were a million quiet words in my kiss. I love you, I need you, I can't live without you, you're my world, you're my life, without you I'm nothing. . .
Raw and greedy, I scooped her cheeks in my palms, forcing every last breath I had into that kiss. In the back of my mind I wasn't sure if that was going to be the last kiss we ever shared.
This isn't it, this isn't ending here. Not like this.
Cyprus dug her nails into my hair, scraping my scalp and sending chills down my spine. We were nothing but heavy breaths and soft moans as we lost ourselves to a hunger that wouldn't be satiated until it felt complete.
Cradled in my lap, I held her firmly, unable to let her go. She was my earth, my air, my everything. If she wasn't in my arms I'd be empty, if she wasn't in my life, I'd be no one.
Looking in her eyes, I watched the tears dry as need swept in taking full control. I could see it written all over her, she needed me as much as I needed her.
Pulling back, I tickled my fingers across her forehead, twirling a thick curl of her hair around my finger. “I love you, I'll never stop loving you. I just want you to know that.”
A soft smile spread on her lips as she touched my chin. “I know, Birch.” Lowering her hands to the edge of her shirt, she tugged it off, dropping it into a puddle on the floor.
Her nipples poked through her light pink, satin bra, as her stomach clenched and goosebumps jumped down her skin. My cock jerked, thickening and throbbing as I ran my fingers over her stomach.
Moaning, Cyprus closed her eyes and tilted her head. She was so fucking beautiful. That woman was my strength and weakness all rolled up into one. She could hold me up and tear me down in a snap.
Arching her back, I plucked her nipples through the bra and watched her body shudder. Fuck, I loved that. The way she wriggled and tensed when my hands were on her, it was fucking magic.
Grunting, I placed her down on the floor and climbed on top of her. Brushing my fingers through her hair, I kissed her throat. “Tell me you love me, Cyprus. Tell me you still love me.”
Her eyes glazed over, spearing my heart and making me sweat. I wasn't sure what she was thinking, or if she was about to cut me loose. I couldn't bear hearing the words if she didn't feel the same anymore.
“Birch,” she said, stroking my cheek with a gentle smile. “I love you, I can't pretend that I don't. I love you, that's why this all hurts so much.”
“I won't hurt you ever again, I promise. I'll tell you everything, I'll answer all your questions. Just promise me you won't give up on us.”
“Give up? It's not about giving up, it's about holding onto what I have.” Her thumb brushed the curve of my jaw, eyes soft and gentle as if she could see through my hardened shell. “But I'm holding on tight, Birch. I'm not ready to lose this, I can't just give up on what I feel. I won't give up on you, or on us.”
That was all I needed to hear. I had to hear her say she wasn't leaving me. I had to know that everything between us was worth the fight for her too. Because I was going to fight to keep her. Without both of us working to save it, we wouldn't stand a chance.
Love needed to be felt on both sides, otherwise it was a strong wind blowing away the world. I couldn't lose my world.
Pushing up her bra, I licked her nipples, suckling them hard. Cyprus moaned, pressing her tits harder into my face. Swirling my tongue around the hardened beads, I dug my fingers into her ribs.
I couldn't think straight anymore. The blood had poured from my brain and filled the aching muscle between my thighs.
All I could think about was proving my love to her and taking her body like she had taken my heart. I wanted to drive in deep, wash her soul in silky bliss, and make her forget everything she worried about.
Her past was a shattered piece of glass. But her future wasn't set in stone, it could be whole and full if she wanted it to be.
>
“Mm,” she cooed, her voice a whisper in my ear as I allowed myself to get lost in her.
Her hands found my neck, tearing my shirt over my head and digging into the flesh of my back. Her nails raked my spine as she rolled her head and rocked her hips beneath me.
Running my hand down between her breasts and to the hem of her pants, I popped the button, and slid the zipper down, slipping my hand inside. The diamond between her thighs was hot and wet, aching for my touch.
Flicking her panties to the side, I pressed her clit, forcing her to moan louder. It was fucking music to my ears. Every sound that spilled from her lips made my heart beat faster and cock throb harder.
I wasn't going to draw this out, I couldn't. I needed my woman.
Tearing her pants down on her legs, I ripped her panties off with a heavy growl. With nimble fingers, Cyprus tore at my jeans until they were free from my hips. Shuffling out of them, I kicked off my boxers and spread her legs open so I could climb between them.
Her eyes met mine and all I could see was the love she felt. She loved me for me, she loved me for everything we built together, and she loved me because we were meant to be.
Biting her bottom lip, she called me in with a single finger. Resting my forearms on either side of her head, she wrapped her hand around my dick and guided it into her hot center.
There was no resistance as I slipped inside her body with ease, her warm juice coating my skin and helping me along. Stilling above her, I pushed the stray curls from her face and held her eyes with mine.
“I love you, I love you so much it hurts.” Kissing her throat, I kept whispering my feelings into her ear with each thrust.
“I need you.” My hips shifted, pressing deeper.
“You're my everything.” I pulled out and drove in harder.
“Without you I'm nothing.” Like a piston I pumped and pulled, each thrust a devastating blow to her hips.
Wrapping her legs around my waist, Cyprus ground into me, rubbing her clit against my stomach and groaning with pleasure. Her body trembled as beads of sweat coated her chest and her nails scraped my skin.
I could feel the claws as they dug in, cutting me with soft scratches and turning my flesh red. Her moans grew louder and louder, her hips rocking and rubbing hard and fast. She was so close to coming and I was determined to come with her.
I wanted to share that release with her, to feel our bodies as they shook and pulsed when the orgasm reached its peak. I wanted to ride that high alongside her, just like we had for years.
Faster and faster I jerked my body, throwing my cock in with determined thrusts. I felt my balls draw up tight, and my stomach begin to tense as tingles swept through my muscles making me weak.
With one final thrust, my body stalled, and hot come spewed from my dick, filling her to the point I could tell it was dripping out. The warm liquid trickled down my shaft, dropping to the carpet.
Staring into her eyes, Cyprus lifted her head and kissed my lips. “I love you, Birch, nothing will change that.”
Smiling, I ran my fingers through her hair as I peered down on the only woman to ever make my heart skip a beat. “That's all I need. That's all I've ever needed.”
Rolling onto my side, I grabbed my shirt and passed it to her so she could wipe herself off. Our breathing was heavy and ragged, and the air was hot and thick. I could feel my knees as the sensations subsided, they were sore and tender, rubbed raw from the rug.
Twisting, I rested my hand under my head and looked down on her. “So where do we go from here?” I asked, running a finger up and down her ribs.
A thin smile spread across her cheeks as she looked off in thought. “I'm not sure. To be honest, I don't really know what to think about all of this.”
“It's not about what you think, it's about what you feel. What do you feel?”
Sucking in a breath, she let it out slowly. “I feel confused. I still feel hurt and betrayed. But I also know what this family has given me.” Rolling onto her side, she snuggled into my chest. “What do I do with that, Birch? How do I love and hate the only family I have ever known?”
“Will you tell me what you remember?”
“I can't.” Her face sunk into my arm as her eyes slammed shut. “I wish I didn't have this shit in my head. I wish I never remembered.”
“Was it the diary? Do you think that gave you your memories back?”
Shrugging her shoulder, her finger spun against my skin. “Maybe.” Tilting her head to look in my eyes, she asked, “How did the police never find it before? If it's been here, how did they miss it?”
I had to think about it before I answered her. That was a good question, one that didn't cross my mind until she asked it.
“My mother. . .” Pausing, I curled my arm under her neck and rolled onto my back to look at the ceiling. “My mom used to remove it from the house before a raid. We have a guy on the inside who would let us know when they were coming, and my mom would always make sure it was gone before they got here. That's why you were always sent off too.”
That's how they got it. . . That's how this shit happened.
That was the first raid we had since my mother passed away. The only reason they found it was because no one had warned us and no one was here to hide it. I felt sick to my stomach that something we had been through so many times before had been our downfall.
I still wasn't sure why my father never destroyed it. But then again, maybe it wasn't up to him. Maybe it was my mother who refused to let him, maybe she wanted a piece of Cyprus's past to still live on.
“Your dad went through a lot of trouble to hide me. And I'm still not sure I know why. He could have left me there, I didn't really know who he was.”
She's right. He could have left her there. . .
He said he was trying to fix it, and I believe him.
“Tell me what you remember, Cyprus. I need to know. All I know is what he told me, and that wasn't much. I want to hear what you saw, what you felt.”
My memory was one thing, but she had been there.
I trusted my father and what he said. But I only knew his side.
It was time for me to hear her truth, to learn about what it looked like through her eyes.
Chapter Fourteen
Fiona
Eight years earlier
“Dad!” I called again for the tenth time. “Where are you?” Walking through the kitchen, I could hear voices coming from the garage.
He was supposed to be helping me with my science project that was due in two days, but I couldn't find him anywhere. I felt like he was avoiding me, it was never that hard to find him, and he always came when I called for him.
Except for right now. Where the hell is he?
The house was eerily quiet, making every creek and groan from the floorboards sound like I was jamming a knife between the ribs of a lion. A lamp was on in the living room, the light in the kitchen was burning boldly, casting dark shadows across the cabinets and counters.
But no one was around.
Standing in the kitchen, I could hear voices behind the door that led to the garage. It sounded heated, like my father was arguing with whoever was out there.
What the hell is going on in there?
Walking to the door, I lifted my hand to the knob and started to turn it.
“Fiona, no!” My mom barked in a hushed voice, rushing to my side and stopping me. “Your father is busy right now, leave him alone.”
“But he said he would help me tonight, he promised.”
“I know what he said, but it's going to have to wait.” Gripping my shoulders, my mother turned me away from the door and led me into the living room. “It shouldn't be too long, but your dad is having an important meeting right now.”
“Meeting? But it's nine, isn't it a little late for that?” Arching a brow, I twisted my head to look at her. “He never meets with anyone past seven, that's his rule.”
“Don't, now is not the time for your mouth.” Wi
th stiff arms, my mother guided me around the coffee table. “This is important, I need you to just stay in here.”
My father was a business man, what he did exactly, I wasn't too sure. He always told me that when I got older he would sit me down and explain the details. I have yet to have that conversation with him, and I was already fourteen. I wasn't sure that discussion would ever happen.
Plopping me down on the couch, my mom grabbed the remote and clicked on the television. “Here, watch something for now. And I don't want you going back near the garage. Understood?”
“Fine.” Slouching into the cushion, I stared at the screen and zoned out.
I wasn't sure how much time had gone by exactly, when my mom suddenly rushed past the living room. She was running full speed with something in her hands. I couldn't tell what it was, but as she passed under the light it sparkled with a mirror finish.
I heard the garage door open and close quickly, and I couldn't stop the curiosity as it swelled in my gut.
What is she doing?
Quietly, I rose to my feet and carefully walked back towards the kitchen. Her face worried me, she looked frantic and scared. I had no clue why or what the hell would make her look so upset.
Hitting the threshold for the kitchen, the voices had become significantly louder than before. Their tones were harsh and thick, as they spewed hate-filled words at each other.
“Fuck you! I didn't do this to screw you over, I needed it! But now you're going to force me to do something I really don't want to.”
Holding the wood beam, my heart started to race inside my chest as I listened to the argument turn from heated into plain rage. My dad was angry, the man with him was angry, and I stood unaware of the true danger lurking behind the door.
“Don't fucking threaten me, Frank!” the unknown man's voice barked, his scream booming through my ears and making my back snap straight. “Do you know who you're talking to?! You said you'd pay me back double what I gave you! You didn't! That's why I'm here, I'm here because you couldn't hold up your end!”
“I told you I needed more time!”
Why is Dad so upset? Who is he yelling at?