by Bry Ann
Dana texted me that we could meet at the coffee shop next door to her place. So, I got off the bus at the stop nearest to there and headed in. I was ten minutes late, but I let her know in advance that I was running behind. That didn’t stop me from running in there like a stressed, mad woman because I hated being late. Dana was seated. When she saw me come in, she glanced up at me and smiled.
“I’m gonna get a coffee quick!”
“Woah Sam, Chill. I got you one. Black coffee, two shots of espresso. Although looking at you now, it seems the last thing you need is two shots of espresso.”
“No, I need it,” I said sitting down and wrapping my bag around the back of my chair. We both sipped our coffees for a second and then I looked up. “So what’s going on?’
“Oh, um. Well honestly I am getting released from the safety of the treatment center pretty soon, and I'm scared.” I listened to Dana speak, but something was off with her. Her usually bright demeanor was careful and analytical. “Anyway, I just wanted a reminder I could do this since Logan is gone and being his usual self.”
I knew she was referring to his behavior in the tabloids. I could hear the disappointment in her voice and could relate to it immensely.
“You will be okay. The world is hard. I won’t deny that. But, you have a brother who would go to the ends of the earth for you and the treatment center will put a transition plan in place for you before you leave. I know you got this.”
As I finished my sentence a guy touched the upper part of my back, and I flew out of my chair, whirled around and sent my chair flying across the floor. The guy looked mortified.
“Ma’am, I’m so sorry! I just wanted to ask if you were using your extra chair?”
My cheeks turned bright red. Shit.
“Oh. I’m sorry. No of course. Go ahead,” I muttered.
I sat back down and let out a nervous laugh. Dana was eyeing me suspiciously.
“You okay?”
“Fine, I guess that was a little dramatic,” I said with a pretty solid attempt at sarcasm.
She simply nodded without asking me any further questions. We talked for the next thirty-five minutes, and then Dana had to go to group. She went to hug me, but I awkwardly stuck out my hand and rushed away. I immediately took the bus to the lake. I needed the lake. I had my work clothes with me and didn’t have to be there for a few hours.
Sitting by the lake was therapeutic. I curled myself into a ball and took deep breaths, trying to recite affirmations. As hard as my life has been, it has also been sheltered. I was strong, but the reality was the situation I had gotten myself into terrified me. I was in way over my head. Yesterday had brought out a more vulnerable side to myself that I liked to pretend didn’t exist. I felt traumatized and weakened by yesterday’s events. More than I’d like to admit. I wished I could tell Dana because if anyone could understand what I was going through it would be her.
I stayed by the lake for hours and then headed to work. Work went well. Afterwards, I went home and watched movies with my mom. She was distant with me. She knew something was up and I wasn’t telling her about it. It was obvious. Like since when did I wear makeup? Since when was I soft-spoken to her? I was working extra hard at our relationship just trying to convince her nothing was wrong. I hated lying to her, but I had no choice.
I didn’t hear anything from Tim until two days later, and it was an easy job. Gunner and I simply had to pick up cash from someplace and leave. In fact, it was even easier for me because Gunner had me wait in the car. Usually, I’d be pissed that I was being treated like a baby, but the reality was I was grateful to have a minute to acclimate to this after what had happened.
My first real call didn’t come until five days later. Gunner and I had to meet at some clubhouse and try and negotiate with a group of guys. These men were less dangerous, but we still needed to be on our game with the negotiating. Tim said they were cheapskates. He also said they could use my brain on this one. I just thanked God it was my brain and not my breasts. They kept to their word and wired both Gunner and I. Gunner, and I had to ride to the location with the drugs because if they signed on, they wanted a hit right then. I was so nervous, because if we got pulled over and searched our car my life was over. Gunner sensed my nerves and turned to me when we were heading out the door.
“So, are you nervous about being out on the field or the drugs in the car?”
“I’m not nervous.”
He shook his head. “Yeah right, and I’m a kind homebody who enjoys long walks on the beach.” He slammed the car door.
Once I got in the car, I turned to him. “The drugs.”
“I thought as much. We won’t get caught.”
“You are so sure?”
“Yeah, I am. I’m a great driver. I'm a very careful driver when I am working a job, but if for some God forsaken reason, we got pulled over I’m great at the acting. Plus, we have you, and you are just about the most vanilla-looking girl I’ve ever met.”
“Yeah, you’ve said that before. If you think I look vanilla you should meet my friend. She’s a freaking ray of sunshine.”
He smiled. “Yeah, you are no ray of sunshine.”
I laughed too. “No. I’m not.”
We did the job, made the sale and headed back to the back room of the bar where we usually met. This job paid $12,275, and so I was like ⅛ of the way to my goal since we obviously never got paid for the previous job. I opened the door, and all the guys were in there cleaning their guns and fiddling with their shirts. They looked up when Gunner and I walked in. Gunner ignored everyone. He walked to the back of the room and immediately pulled out the paperwork we were required to fill out. I started talking to Collins when the doors slammed open. Everyone whipped around, including me. My jaw almost disconnected when I saw who it was. Standing in the doorway was none other than Logan freaking Prescott. Not the Logan I knew. This Logan was fuming. He had a black cap on, gray pants and a black button down top. His eyes were fire as he glared at me.
“You!” I was shocked and breathless, trying not to give away who he was any sooner than necessary.
“Yep me,” he fumed.
“Who the fuck are you?” Gunner said with his gun pointed at Logan.
I looked around, and there were lots of guns pointed at him. In fact, the only person whose gun wasn’t pointed at Logan was Tim. Tim looked pissed, but behind the anger was amusement. I just stood there totally frozen with my mouth still agape.
“How?”
Gunner jumped in again stepping closer to Logan who just stepped forward towards him as well, unfazed and unafraid.
“I said who the fuck are you?”
“Fuck, you are Logan Prescott. What the hell?” one of the random guys in the back yelled out.
Logan just glared at him. Then Gunner looked curiously at the look on my face and lowered his gun slightly. I finally was able to snap out of my shock.
“Lower your guns,” I said turning around to face everyone. When no one did I yelled louder. “I said lower your fucking guns! He’s… I…” I still had no words for who the hell he was to me or what he was doing here.
“We are talking,” Logan said as he grabbed arm roughly and dragged me out into the hallway.
I shot everyone an apologetic look and was soon out in the hallway with Logan, his two bodyguards, and Dana. My heart dropped when I saw Dana standing there. I didn’t want her to see me like this. She looked sad, and I hid my face from her before I saw the rest of what she felt written on her face. She stood back as Logan and I went at each other.
“What. The. Actual. Hell. Sam?”
“What are you doing here?!”
“Me, oh well, it is an interesting story. Your mom stole your phone and texted me that she was worried about you. She was wondering if I knew anything. I didn’t so I called Dana and said you were probably just stressed but if she could make sure you were alright.” The coffee shop, her demeanor. It all made sense. “The minute you flinched or whatever s
he knew something was deeply wrong. You forget Dana has been hurt before. She recognizes when someone is hiding something. When you jumped, she knew you were suffering the side effects of some trauma.”
I looked over at Dana, and she looked at the floor with a guilty expression.
“She immediately texted me and told me to get back in town. I knew I had to find out for myself what was wrong before I ever confronted you because God knows you wouldn’t tell me. So, the first person I dove into of course was Tim.”
I winced.
“Then a contact of mine found security footage of you, behind a bar,” he said through gritted teeth. “Drugs Sam. What the hell were you thinking?! You were almost…” he huffed and shook his head, trying to erase the memory of what was on that tape.
“I’m fine,” I said quietly.
Logan scoffed. “It’s nice to see you’re not in your sex outfit anymore.”
“Logan!” Dana snapped.
I reeled back. “You’re an asshole! You know nothing!”
“You’re right! I know nothing. Fucking nothing. I’ve been trying so fucking hard to be your stupid fucking friend, and I know nothing at about you. I mean why are you doing this? I know this isn’t you. Is it money? Loneliness? What aren’t you telling me? I can help you Sam. Let me.”
I sighed and ran my hand over my face. I wished I could tell him so bad. With every fiber of being, I wished he could help me. However, this was $100,000 we were talking about.
“I just did it Logan. I wasn’t thinking.”
“No, no,” he said letting his fist fly through the air angrily. “You always think things through! Always!’
“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Logan. I don’t.”
“The truth. The truth Sam.”
Logan started to storm off, and Dana looked back at me sadly as Logan jerked her arm, forcing her back out the way they came. They were halfway down the hall when Gunner came storming into the hallway.
“Who the hell are these people?” he roared.
It was the angriest I’d seen him, and it was directed at me. Just fucking great. Both Dana and Logan stopped. Before anyone could have even predicted it, Dana was down the hall, right in Gunner’s face.
“Hey! I am Sam’s best friend! Don’t you talk to her that way! I don’t care who you are!”
She stood directly in front of him on her tiptoes looking into his very shocked and amused eyes. He towered over her. His massive size made her look like a midget. Apparently, a very aggressive midget though, fuck! Both Logan and I stood there with our jaws dropped. Logan looked beyond shocked. I think he went into shock. Logan had described to me a shy, quiet girl. That was not the girl standing in front of me. It seemed he has a lot to catch up on.
Gunner stepped back a bit and looked at her smugly.
“What’s your name?”
“Dana,” she said as she put her hands on her hips. “Dana Prescott.”
Both Logan and I were watching Gunner carefully now, ready to protect Dana at all costs. Gunner, however, didn’t look at all interested in hurting Dana. In fact, he seemed rather intrigued by her.
“Well, I thought Sam was the sassy, bold one. Apparently not.” He turned on his heel towards the door and then whipped around again to face us. “Be smart when you leave here.” He turned his attention solely to Dana. “I don’t want to have to do something I’ll regret.”
With that Gunner was gone and Dana was by my side. Logan went and stood in front of her.
“What the hell was that?”
“She’s my friend,” Dana said.
“Yeah but…. you… don’t,” he ran his hand over his face. “Dana since when did you stand up for yourself. When did you stop being so shy and afraid?”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me now Logan. Your escapades in LA distract you from getting to know me now, as an adult. You have been there for me more than anyone else, but your bar is hopping sex life prevents you from having a real relationship with me.”
Logan just kept staring at her as if he’d never seen her before in his life. I suppose based on who he thought she was; he hadn’t.
“Okay, well we should go,” Logan said signaling for Dana to follow. I took a few steps back and headed to my safe spot on the wall.
“What about Sam?”
“She has the bus.” His face hardened, and his lips were spread in a thin line.
“Okay, I’m done with this,” Dana said, clearly getting fired up again. “Sam is a victim! You forget that. We, Logan, don’t know why she joined this whole thing. We just met her. If you knew why and it was for some awful reason, well then yeah, I’d tell her to go on and stay far away from us, but we don’t… and she was nearly raped.” Dana’s voice got soft at the end.
“I know you have a soft spot for rape victims and what not,” Logan said coldly. “So, she can have a ride from us, but it’s for you Dana. Don’t ask me to be her friend. I don’t trust her.”
Logan stormed off, and Dana gently grabbed my upper arm and pulled me to the car. I felt so many feelings at once that I didn’t even know how to process what all was going on inside of me. The most overwhelming feeling of them all was how much I loved Dana and how grateful I was to her for understanding. The car ride back was beyond awkward. When we stopped the car, I looked out the window and noticed we were at the coffee shop by my house and not my actual house. The coffee shop was the place where I took people who didn’t know me. Logan reached over and opened my door.
“You can get out.” He didn’t even look at me as he swung the door open. Dana looked at her feet sadly, and I awkwardly stumbled out of the car.
“Logan,” I whispered.
“Drive,” he told his driver firmly.
In a swish that sent me flying back, the car was gone, and I was left standing in the street alone.
Chapter 10:
I cried in my mom’s lap that night. All I told her was Logan and I got into a fight. She knew I wasn’t telling her everything, but she still just held me while I cried. It didn’t matter that I rarely cried in front of her or that when did I was never honest about the reason, she still always knew exactly what to do. I snuggled with her, watched stupid movies and ate junk food. Despite being in one of the darkest times of my life that night with my mom would be one of those memories I would hold onto forever. When my mom was gone this was the night I would hold onto for dear life and never let go of.
I went to work the next day and was quiet throughout my shift. I knew people were worried, but I didn’t care. I needed to do my job and get my paycheck, but that was all I owed them. After work, I had a meeting with Tim and Gunner at the warehouse. I took a bus there and then walked the rest of the way. Gunner was already in the room, and I sat down quietly ignoring his very intense eye contact.
“You know I’m not gonna kill you. You can stop acting like I’m one second away from shooting you,” he said coldly.
“Well, excuse me but last time we met you had a gun pointed at me so….”
“Yes I did, but it seems that if I ever do that again, your friend is going to try and humor me to death.”
“Yeah Dana,” I sighed, “She’s an angel, Gunner. Just…. Yeah, I was a little taken aback by that.”
Gunner smiled. Like actually smiled. I didn’t even know that was physically possible for him.
“It seemed both you and your buddy Logan were. Your jaws hit the floor. Is she usually shy or something?”
“Well, I don’t know Dana terribly well, but when Logan described her to me, he said she was shy and quiet. My impressions of her have been that she is an absolute ray of sunshine and a sweetheart. Neither he nor I thought she would go storming over to a 250-pound armed drug dealer pleading my case,” I laughed, still in shock from how that all played out.
“You guys aren’t even close?”
“I mean we’re close, but we’ve only actually met three times.”
“Wow. How’d you even meet Logan Presco
tt?”
Before I could answer Tim walked in, and we all took our seats. Tim looked relieved to see that Gunner and I had worked out our issues. Tim, Gunner and I discussed the Logan situation. They gave me 48 hours to decide if I still wanted in. They said after 48 hours if I wanted out they would release me from the contract with no punishment, and I could keep the bit of money I earned. They never released people early, but they said it was to call it even for what happened with the X5 gang. However, if I did want in I could not leave until my contract was up and anyone who tried to stop me would be in danger.
I went home that night and weighed my options. On one hand quitting ensured not letting Dana, Logan and my mom down any further than I already had. Not to mention my safety, both mentally and physically. However, without it I couldn’t save my mom.
I walked into our house and greeted the nurse. She ran through their uneventful night, and I told her she could leave. The nurse was supposed to be staying overnight due to my mom’s seizure risk, but it had been a while since my mom’s last seizure and nurses were expensive. I decided for one night I’d let her go home early so I could hang out with my mom in private. My mom and I repeated the events of the night before. I snuggled in her lap, and she allowed me to stay there without asking questions. Her arms were the only place I felt safe and loved. We watched the movie ‘Ten Things I Hate About You’ and ate popcorn. About an hour into the movie I went to the kitchen to grab us waters and took a few deep breaths to try and stop my deeply distracted thoughts. I was lost in thought for several minutes before I heard a loud crash coming from the other room. I dropped the waters and sprinted to the den. The minute I walked in my heart fell through my chest. My mom was on the floor. Seizing.
“Mom! Mom!” I screamed. “Mom!”