by Autumn Avery
“You heard from the boys?”
“Yeah, everything’s a go,” he says.
“And placed the—”
“Yes, Ty! Yes!” he shouts. He really is nervous. But I can’t let that affect me right now. I have to stay focused. I keep my eyes glued to the mirror, studying my reflection, keeping my thoughts in the moment.
Three hours. Three hours and it’s all over, I think.
“Your mom says—”
“I don’t want to know!” I snap, cutting him off. I can’t have her on my mind right now. My hands grip the sink tight, so tight that the pain in my hand returns with a jolt. I grit my teeth and take it. I have to get used to it if I’m going to do what I’m about to.
“Fuck,” Barry groans.
“Shut up, Barry! You guys got me into this, and now I’m going to get us out of it. You just do like we planned and try not to get us killed!”
It’s harsh, but Barry needs to hear it. This is no time for self pity. This is life or death, and we’ve already lost one of us. I’d rather hurt his feelings now than stand over his lifeless body later.
I turn from the mirror and walk straight up to him and slap him in the face. He recoils in surprise, and I see the anger wash over his face. Before he can speak, I yell in his face.
“That’s right! Wake the fuck up! It’s time to do this!”
I push him, threatening to knock him back off the bench. He leaps to his feet and glares at me, pushing against me with his chest.
“That’s it! Let’s go!” I roar, thumping him hard on the arm. “You ready?!”
He nods quickly and I turn, marching out of the locker room.
“Let’s do this,” I say.
We walk quickly up the hall towards the main room, the sounds of the crowd growing louder as we approach. The air grows thicker as we take the stairs, and the smell of smoke, booze and bodies invades the air. My breath comes in short shallow sips and my heart is pumping. I’m ready. I push the door open and am greeted by a roar from the crowd.
The place is more packed than it’s ever been, and the spectators are in a frenzy. They’re out for blood today. I sense Barry peel off behind me as I make my way towards the ring, bodies moving out of my way.
My eyes scan the horde of people and see Little Nicky in the shadows, a look of nervous determination on his face. Our eyes meet, just briefly, and I smile.
If only you knew what was about to hit you, you son of a bitch.
Vinnie and Don are standing beside him, looking at me like they own me. They think they are still holding all the cards, but they don’t know that tonight I’ve stacked the deck.
The crowd roars as I slip under the ropes and step into the ring. I recognize my opponent. His name’s Big Bruce, aptly named because he has a good eighty pounds on me. Weight classes aren’t exactly enforced around here. He looks like a roided up Viking and is practically screaming as he psyches himself up in his corner.
He sees me, and pounds his chest, shooting daggers at me.
He thinks he’s going to win.
So does Nicky.
Everyone here thinks they know how tonight is going to go. The odds against me are astronomical. And that’s what’s going to make tonight a success.
My hand is throbbing as the ref steps up beside me.
“Both fighters ready?” he shouts. The crowd cheers in response.
Big Bruce screams from his corner. The ref looks at me and I simply nod, my eyes focused on my opponent, my mind on my future.
“All right,” the ref shouts. “Fight!”
23
Jenny
“Josh, honey?” I say, quietly stepping into my son’s bedroom.
“Hey!” he says. “Mom, did you know that a day on Venus is two hundred and forty-three Earth days long!?”
“Wow,” I say. “That’s a very long day! Can you imagine how long you would be at school?”
“Yuck!” he exclaims as though this were an actual potentiality.
“Honey, I need to ask you something,” I say, coming and sitting beside him on his bed. Josh’s room is a very comforting place. I did my best to make it that way for him. I look at the soft Christmas lights on his bed and the posters of dinosaurs across the wall, the names of which I barely even remember but he can recite with ease. It’s important for Josh to have a comforting place to come back to.
He has a high functioning form of Autism, but there are always concerns. He didn’t even like having to leave to visit his father at first, and when Colin showed himself to be unreliable and unable, or unwilling, to take the kids as often as he should, I was almost relieved because it meant putting Josh through less stress.
And now here I am coming to tell him that we’re going to have to uproot the whole family. I told Ty he would be okay with it, and I truly think he will be, but I’m his mom and I worry.
“What do you think of Ty?” I ask him.
“I like Ty,” he says with a broad smile.
“Yeah? What would you think about having him around more?”
Josh thinks, twisting his lip and tilting his head. I always say he looks like a little professor when he does that, and it brings a smile to my face every time.
“I’d like that!” he finally says.
“Yeah?”
“He likes to read my books with me,” he says. In a lot of ways, I envy Josh. He’s still able to take pleasure in the little things in life in a way that I wish I could. In a lot of ways, he’s an inspiration to me. That might be an odd thing for a mother to say about her child, but he is. He has such an amazing enthusiasm for things in life that I never was interested in. The natural world fascinates him, and he can spend an entire afternoon with a book and be perfectly happy.
“And what about this place? Do you like this place?” He looks at me like he’s confused. “This apartment. Our home. Do you like it?”
He takes a long time to think again, but finally shakes his head.
“No? Why not?”
“It’s loud sometimes,” he says with a grimace. “The neighbors.”
“They are pretty awful,” I say, commiserating. He’s not wrong there. “How would you feel about moving?”
“Where would we go?” he asks me.
Valid question, I think. I hadn’t even thought about that!
“Somewhere nice,” I tell him. “Somewhere without noisy neighbors.”
Even if I don’t know exactly where we’d be going, I know Ty would never ask me to leave with him if he didn’t have some place lined up. I’ve never doubted his ability to take care of me, and I don’t doubt it now. If he asked me to leave, then he must have a plan.
“Can I bring my dinosaur posters?”
Everything you can’t leave behind … Ty’s words echo in my mind.
“We could get you some new dinosaur posters! Ones you haven’t had before? How about that?”
Josh nods enthusiastically, as though he hadn’t thought of that option.
“A Deinonychus!” he shouts, naming yet another dinosaur I don’t know.
“Okay! Now, this is what I need you to do for me, okay? I need you to take all your favorite clothes, and put them in here,” I say, pulling a rolling suitcase from Josh’s closet. “Just your favorites okay!? And your best toys too. Can you do that for me?!”
“Okay!” Josh says excitedly.
“Now I’m going to go talk to your sister. But I’ll be back. And when I am, I want that suitcase packed okay!?”
“Okay, mom!” he says, standing tall and proud.
I step out into the hall and close Josh’s door behind me. When I turn to head to Ella’s room, I find her already standing in the hall looking at me.
“We’re moving?” she asks me.
She was listening, I realize.
“Yes,” I tell her. No use sugar coating things.
“And when were you going to tell me?”
“I was coming to see you now.”
I can’t read the look on her face. S
he’s a teenager, and she can be moody, and I’m expecting the worst. But when she opens her mouth to speak, I can’t believe what comes out.
“Thank God,” she exclaims.
“What!?” I stutter, completely taken aback.
“This school sucks,” she groans. “The girls are all drama queens, and I cannot wait to get out of there. Where are we going?”
“Well … I’m not really sure yet,” I admit. “We’re going with Ty. Are you okay with that?”
Ella just shrugs. “As long as it’s not here. How could it be worse?”
“But Ty,” I press her. “You’re okay with Ty?”
“He seems cool,” Ella replies, and I feel like a weight has been lifted from my chest. “It’s about time you saw someone, mom. I mean, how many years has it been?”
I’m shocked. Here I’ve been spending all this effort keeping men away from me and from my family, worried about the impact I would have on my kids, all the while my own daughter has been worried about my love life!
“It has been a while,” I admit, laughing softly.
“So you want me to pack up too?” she asks.
“Yes. Anything you can’t live without.”
“I mean, this is pretty weird, mom,” she remarks. “What are we like going into witness protection or something?”
“I know, honey. I’m sorry. It will all work out though. I promise.”
I pat her on the back and head back into my room to get my things together.
This is all going to work out, I tell myself. I do believe that.
I look down at the bed where Ty and I slept, still unmade from this morning. This will be a familiar sight if all goes well. I’ll go to sleep with him, and I’ll wake up to him.
If everything goes well …
I don’t even know what is going to happen. All I can do is put my faith in Ty, and hope he comes through.
He will.
He has to.
24
Ty
Bruce’s fist glances off my cheek, but I’m already twisting to the right and I barely feel it. You’d think a big guy like him would hit harder but no one’s taught him to put his weight into it or how to twist his hips, and he swings wildly like we’re back in high school.
My guess is he’s gotten by so far on his weight and size alone. They’ve been matching him up with little guys and so far he’s managed to come out on top. Nicky has to know I’d pummel him, and that’s why he’s having me take the dive. People are expecting me to clean his clock, and Nicky’s probably got a fortune put down on me. He’ll clean up nice when I hit the mat.
I dodge his flailing uppercut, and move aside as he stumbles.
No control.
He’s breathing heavily and it’s only round two. I could outlast this guy if I just danced around for two more rounds, and he’d be a sitting duck for whatever I threw at him.
Go down in the third, I think. That’s what I’m supposed to do.
I belt Bruce in the ribs, but it’s a softy. He’s probably thinking I’m not that tough and that he just needs to try a little harder, focus and hit me hard and I’ll go down. This dunce couldn’t knock me out if I stood still.
I can feel Nicky’s eyes on me, and I get a glimpse of him peering out of the crowd as I spin around to face Bruce who has just stumbled past me. My eyes narrow and I flash him a grin. He must be shitting his pants right now. I’ve already disappointed him once, and then pissed him off a second time. I know how he must be feeling now.
Vinnie and Don look like today is their birthday. They don’t hate me like Nicky, and they both probably have bets on me too that they’re ready to cash in and head to Atlantic City. I’d like to hop out of the ring and belt them both in their smug faces.
Before the war I wasn’t a big guy. In fact, in middle school I was one of the smallest. I was picked on by the older kids because I could beat them in sports even though I was half their size. I played on the teen soccer team when I was only ten, and I was on varsity basketball as a freshman before I quit just to spite them.
It was the war that toughened me up. The things I went through those kids could only imagine. They wouldn’t even recognize me if they saw me now. I’ve put on fifty pounds, all of it muscle, and didn’t have any of my tattoos back then. Nicky and his goons remind me of the worst of those kids back in school. Brad, Taylor and Randy.
They used to corner me in the locker room or the hallway by the gymnasium and harass me. Their parents were big shots around town so the school never did anything about it. The principal would pretend to punish them, but nothing really ever happened, and it didn’t seem to matter how many times I showed up to class with a black eye or a bruise, no one ever did shit.
When I look at the thugs in the crowd who are eyeing me like their prized horse ready to make them rich, those feelings of being the little guy come flooding back, and I want to wipe that grin off their faces.
They won’t be smiling soon, I think, ducking another one of Bruce’s haymakers.
The end of round two is coming up.
Go down in the third, I think. That’s my job.
Bruce leans in with a right hook, and I make my move.
I duck, letting the blow sweep harmlessly over me, and bring my fist straight into his nose. It shatters, and I feel the splash of warm blood hit my neck and shoulder as Bruce’s head snaps backwards. He staggers and looks back at me with complete shock.
That’s when I hit him in the jaw with a left.
The blow knocks him out, and he drops to the mat like a wet sack of chicken thighs. I can hear the crowd erupt behind me, but my eyes find Nicky in the crowd.
If looks could kill, I’d be dead a hundred times over. I shrug and blow him a kiss.
That’s when Nicky draws his gun.
The few people surrounding him shout and run for cover. Vinnie and Don pull their pistols too.
Time to do this.
I spin and vault over the ropes, pushing my way through the hot sweaty bodies towards the back hall. Nicky and his goons will be hot on my heels, but I’ve got a head start and the crowd is thick.
“Attaboy, Ty!” someone shouts in my ear. I feel pats on the back as I shoulder my way past.
“You son of a bitch!” someone else screams. I feel a claw like hand pulling at my arm. Someone lost a bet on me. I yank my arm free and look back behind me. I can’t see Nicky, but I can see three hands, each holding guns, shuffling through the people towards me.
I’m almost at the door to the back hall when I hear the first gunshot. Everyone screams and I turn to see the crowd scattering, people rushing for every door. I guess Nicky got tired of waiting. He spots me as people break out of his way and levels his gun at me.
I yank the door open and dive through, just as a bullet clangs off the air conditioner above my head.
The floor is still wet, but I’m half way down the hall when I hear the door open behind me.
“Oh, you dirty bastard!” Nicky cries out behind me, his angry voice echoing across the walls as my feet slap the wet floor beneath me. I hear the hammer cock back on his gun, followed by a deafening blast.
Almost there, almost there!
A tile right by my ear shatters, sending splinters of tile into the side of my neck and face. The door at the end of the hall is racing towards me as I pick up the pace. Adrenaline is pumping through my body. I hear another shot behind me as I shoulder the door and burst into the parking lot.
I can hear the panicked crowd rushing out the front, but out on this side of the building it’s a different story. There’s nobody here. Well, that’s not entirely true.
“He’s coming!” I shout, racing to my position.
The side door crashes open, the metal clanging off the wall of the building. Nicky, Vinnie and Don pour out and stop in their tracks. The look of surprise on their faces is something I’ll never forget.
“Fuck me,” Nicky announces as he sees what’s in store.
Standing beside me,
is Barry and two of my Marine buddies, each of them holding a shotgun.
Before he can raise his gun, my squad fires. It’s like everything goes into slow motion as the barrels roar and spit hot lead at my enemies. I can see the briefest moment of horror and realization cross Nicky’s face just before he and his three gangsters go down in a hail of bullets. They never saw this coming.
I’d fallen out of touch with these guys after the war, but with the things we went through, we’d always be loyal to each other. Barry had gotten in touch with them and told them of my situation. They said of course they’d help out, and had gotten in their cars. I’d left the logistics up to Barry though. I didn’t have the time to manage it. I wasn’t sure whether he would come through or not.
Then I had to make it out of the fight alive, and lure them out here to the side lot without being gunned down myself in the process. It was a bit of a hairy plan, but it worked.
“Sons of bitches,” Barry spits, his hatred for Nicky equal or greater to mine at this point.
“That all of them?” A former marine named Craig says as he turns to me. I haven’t seen Craig in years. He’s filled out a bit, and is still sporting that grizzly bear beard of his.
“Those are the main guys,” I say, breathing heavily. “He’s got more goons about, but the news will take some time to reach them. By then I’ll be long gone.”
“Where you headed?” Drew asks, an olive tan Italian fellow with slicked back hair. He’s always been a ladies man and it looks like not much has changed.
“Upstate New York,” I reply.
“You sure that’s far enough?” Barry asks.
“Yeah. With Nicky gone his troops will fizzle off,” I say, hearing sirens in the distance. “We got to split. Thanks, guys. I’ll get in touch when things cool down.”
I shake Drew and Craig’s hands, feeling a twinge of nostalgia at seeing them again. I wish we had more time to catch up. The bond we formed will always be there, no matter how much time we spend apart. The sirens are growing closer. The whole town must have heard the shots. It probably sounded like the fourth of July.