‘He took care of me wonderfully,’ Rowenna exclaimed.
‘Did he now! I hope you didn’t disgrace yourself!’ Joanna’s sharp look left Rowenna under no illusion that her mother had read the situation correctly. Joanna relieved her of the cup. ‘It’s like that, is it?’
Rowenna bit her lip to stop it trembling. How could her mother possibly understand the pain of loving someone who she could not have? She sniffed and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, turning away.
‘Does Robbie know you feel this way?’ Joanna asked.
‘No, and he loves someone else who is not worth his love. I have to tell him what I feel. I’ll go to Sir John’s stand at the tournament today.’
‘You’d humiliate yourself if you did. Can you imagine what would happen if you appeared at the lists and started declaring love?’ She reached for Rowenna’s hand. ‘Remember, sometimes a person you are fond of is not the person you should be with. There might be someone better waiting that you haven’t even considered.’
‘You don’t know what you’re talking about.’ Rowenna scowled.
‘Of course not. I’m far too old to know anything about anything,’ Joanna said, folding her arms. ‘I do know your father is leaving the house shortly. You can help clean the pantry with me or act as his clerk, but I want you out of bed!’
* * *
Rowenna’s mood improved slightly when she went into the workshop and discovered a list of orders to be written up and bills issued. At least she would be occupied. Never one to enjoy idleness, she set about arranging the disordered piles.
‘I will do half now and half later. I have a fancy to go watch the jousting this afternoon,’ she told her father.
‘Not today,’ Hal said. ‘The streets are still not safe. I fear trouble is still brewing. I hope you shook off your restlessness enough through dancing last night and don’t feel the need to go running all over the city this morning.’
He chucked her under the chin and told her to stay in the house. Rowenna could barely contain her frustration. She had hoped to visit the tournament grounds now that the riots had ceased. Most of her visit to York had been spent trapped inside the house. Soon her parents would return to Ravenscrag and her life would become dull and quiet again. It was easy for Joanna to tell her to look elsewhere for a husband, but when she was doomed to spend her life in Ravenscrag, where might she look and who might she look to? Only Geoff or one of the village men.
No more dancing. No more bustling streets and interesting fair stalls.
No more Robbie.
She swallowed back bitter tears and set to work, and immediately came across the bill her father had written for Sir John’s commission of a pair of daggers. Robbie had brought the original message.
Her usual optimism returned. Last night she had missed the opportunity to tell Robbie what she had overheard Mary saying, but it was not too late to tell Robbie how cruelly Mary had spoken of him and prevent him hurting himself by continuing to moon after her. Even if she said nothing of her feelings, she had to tell him the truth before it was too late.
Her intentions to stay in the house melted. Despite Joanna’s advice, she would borrow her mother’s maid and take the estimate to Sir John’s lodgings herself once she had finished her tasks, rather than trusting it to Hal’s runabout boy. She wanted to congratulate Robbie in person as she had been unable to do so at the dance.
Perhaps she would see in his face some of the affection she had seen the previous night. She wouldn’t be so foolish as to declare her feelings openly, but if she could steer the conversation around to the matter of Mary, she could tell him what she had overheard. It would hurt Robbie to learn of Mary’s opinion, but better now than if he spent more time in her company and believed she cared for him. Rowenna knew herself how painful it was to hope for a kind glance from someone who did not realise the significance.
* * *
She was thwarted in this plan, because before noon a knock on the door brought Cecil Hugone into her presence, requesting the invoice. She tried to hide her disappointment that Robbie had not come and admitted the handsome squire.
‘I had hoped to dance with you again last night,’ Cecil said with a disarming smile. ‘I was doubly pleased to be asked to perform Sir John’s errand.’
He looked round the workshop, clearly interested, before sitting, uninvited, on the bench beside Rowenna. She smiled uncertainly. He had flattered and flirted the night before when they had danced together. He had made his interest in her clear, but the memory of that did not stir her.
‘Let me find the message for your master.’ She rummaged through the box of papers to find the bill she had seen. If Robbie had come, she would have taken longer and chatted, but she was in no mood for Cecil’s company. He took it from her with both hands and extended his fingers so they brushed hers.
‘I will see you tonight, I hope.’
He gazed at her earnestly. Rowenna frowned at this display of forwardness, wondering what impression she had given and whether she had rashly promised him a tryst she had forgotten. ‘I don’t—’
‘Oh, my pardon. Sir John is bidding Master Danby’s family to join him this evening in celebration of Rob’s successes.’ Cecil looked embarrassed. ‘I assumed the invitation included you. It was delivered early this morning.’
‘Did my cousin bring it?’ Rowenna asked, trying not to sound too eager. She could scarcely believe neither parent had seen fit to tell her of something so important. Why had Joanna not woken her?
‘No, he was busy with other matters. He escorted Sir John’s party to the last day of the tournament.’
Cecil’s smile was impenetrable, but if he hoped Rowenna would try wheedling the meaning out of him, she determined he was to be disappointed.
‘I did not know about the message,’ she admitted, glad, at least, that she had not missed Robbie. ‘I stayed late in bed this morning.’
Cecil’s eyes flickered hungrily. Rowenna wondered if he was picturing her in her bed and wished she had not mentioned it.
‘The dancing exhausted you that much! Tonight you will have to find a less strenuous way of amusing yourself. I shall have to put my mind to some diverting games.’
He bowed over her hand and Rowenna walked with him to the door before rushing back to the bench in excitement and burying herself in her work. The day would pass slowly. She would see Robbie tonight and this time there would be nothing to prevent her doing what she must to save him from heartbreak.
* * *
Robbie’s day had started equally abruptly. Once again he had awoken to discover Cecil standing over him.
He’d been dreaming of dancing again, but this time he knew who had been his companion. Rowenna’s sweet laugh and sweeter lips had filled his night, but the dream had turned sour as she laughingly danced from his arms to Cecil, to Geoffrey and on to faceless others while Robbie was forced to watch, his tongue transformed to stone and unable to call her back to him.
‘What do you want?’ He glowered, not quite shaking off the animosity the dream had caused towards Cecil.
‘Sir John wants to speak to you before you leave for the tournament. Again.’
Cecil loitered while Robbie dunked his face in the bowl of water and rubbed his teeth clean.
‘You played me false with your description of your cousin, Robbie. You told me she was a scholarly girl, but she’s far prettier than I would have imagined. Nothing like you at all.’
‘She’s not to be played with. You won’t use and discard her.’ Heat rose to Robbie’s cheeks. He pulled on his clothes and ran his comb through the tangles of his hair.
Cecil affected a look of shock. ‘Who says I mean to discard her? She’s a rare creature. The way she stalked up like an avenging angel and stole you from beneath Mary’s nose last night was enchanting. She is enchanting. I never thought I’d see Mary so furious.’
Cecil’s eyes took on a dreamlike expression and he sighed. ‘I can imagine some merry battles of will with fair Rowenna. There’s a woman a man could really fall in love with.’
Robbie’s jaw tightened at the casual mention of the emotion he was battling with himself. He had told her after the kiss that nothing she did would scare him, but he had lied. The emotions that were roiling in his brain and belly and heart were beginning to scare him very much indeed.
‘You don’t fall in love,’ he said.
‘Perhaps I might this time,’ Cecil replied.
Cecil genuinely caring about Rowenna might be almost as bad as Cecil behaving in his usual way.
‘Rowenna is the daughter of a bastard. You wouldn’t wish to m-marry into a family with such a dubious pedigree. We’re only half cousins really,’ he said. It occurred to him as he said it that it was wrong. Rowenna was not of his blood at all.
Cecil gave him a penetrating look. ‘You seem very keen to dissuade me. Do you have designs on her yourself? I thought you disapproved of illegitimacy.’
‘No!’ The answer came too quick, too harsh on Robbie’s lips to sound convincing. He wrinkled his brow in astonishment. ‘I seem disapproving?’
‘A little. I know how principled your morals are.’ Cecil leered. ‘Would you prefer me to keep out of your way? Perhaps if my attentions were elsewhere engaged. Our lovely Mary, for instance...’
He let the suggestion hang. Robbie’s belly twisted at this blatant attempt at bartering Rowenna in return for a clear path to Mary. Oddly, the idea of Cecil and Mary no longer filled him with the despair it once had. It did not fill him with any emotion, if he was perfectly honest, but the idea of Cecil and Rowenna made him want to reach for the nearest bottle of wine to drown his misery.
‘You are assuming neither Rowenna nor Mary would have opinions on the m-matter,’ he said tersely.
Cecil grinned again. ‘You make a fair point. Perchance I’ll try finding out what they are.’
Robbie marched downstairs ahead of Cecil and greeted his master. To his satisfaction, Cecil was dismissed, leaving Robbie alone with Sir John.
‘You have brought honour on my household and your knighthood is well-deserved. Your parents will surely delay their departure until after your ceremony. I would like to invite your family to dine here tonight in celebration.’
He steepled his fingers and looked at Robbie over the top. ‘I hope we may be celebrating more than one event.’
‘Is Cecil also to be knighted?’
‘Not that.’ Sir John indicated the stool at his feet. Robbie sat, wondering where the interview would lead. ‘Everyone in my household is aware you have a certain interest in my niece.’
Robbie considered it fortunate he was already seated, because he might have staggered at such an abrupt start to the interview. He opened his mouth to deny it, but Sir John raised a hand.
‘Watching you dance together last night, I think she has a liking for you, too. Or at least for your future title and rank.’
Sir John permitted himself a laugh that Robbie did not join in. Of course it was his knighthood that had caught Mary’s eye. Robbie understood that, however much he wished otherwise. A stuttering, shy man held little attraction in himself.
‘I consider it my responsibility to find a suitable husband for Mary now she is in my household. I am in mind to grant permission for you to marry.’
A week earlier Robbie would have leapt from the stool and prostrated himself at Sir John’s feet in thanks. Now he felt sick at the thought.
‘I have not asked her.’
‘You do not need to. I am her guardian and I have decided.’
‘My lord, I must apologise. If I have m-m-m—’ Robbie could not speak. He shook his head in agitation. Marrying Mary was abhorrent now he knew who commanded his heart. It would be a grave injustice to her, to Rowenna and to himself.
‘I did not intend to mislead the lady,’ he managed in a rush. ‘I may have hoped once, but I know I will not make her happy. We will not make each other happy.’
Robbie looked up into Sir John’s eyes and found them full of kindness and a little confusion. Robbie was caught in a net of his own weaving that Sir John honestly believed was to his liking. And until Rowenna had swept back into his life and beguiled him, it had been. It would be the height of ingratitude and stupidity to reject Sir John’s kindness and patronage over the years. And why? Because the infatuation for Mary—as he now knew it had been—had cooled in the flame of his sudden passion for Rowenna.
‘This is a very sudden change of heart, Master Danby. Last night you danced with Mary in front of the assembly. Before that you clearly hankered after her. This morning she came to us and told my wife you asked her to dance twice in a row. Your attentions touched her deeply. She believes you will make her happy.’
Robbie couldn’t help himself and raised an eyebrow. Mary had scorned his offer of a second dance and shown no interest before Simon de Quixlay’s announcement. The difference towards him then had been quite marked.
‘Her affection towards me is very sudden. I need time to think.’
Sir John looked severely at him. He leaned forward in his chair and spoke in a whisper. ‘I know about your family, Master Danby. Your father appraised me of it before I took you into my household.’
The blood chilled in Robbie’s veins. Had Sir John been party to the deception all along? ‘My lord, what do you mean?’
‘Your father’s reputation was always questionable, to say the least. Roger Danby was known as a rogue and a mercenary with a string of unsuitable affairs across Europe and England. I believe there was some scandal even here in York at one time. Your family was poor before he reappeared with a sudden fortune and family. As your mother was a common alewife before your father married her, it is highly unlikely she was the source of his wealth.’
Robbie’s head jerked upward. He flushed with anger, the impulse to rant strong in him, but somehow he managed to remain calm enough to stay seated. The picture Sir John painted of his stepfather was damning. Acid filled his belly and he clenched his fists.
‘My mother ran the finest inn in Cheshire and Father’s honour has never been called into question by his liege lord. He treats his tenants fairly and performs all his duties.’ He stopped, a little surprised at the vehemence with which he defended his stepfather. He writhed internally, thinking of the way he had rejected all Roger’s overtures of reconciliation since learning the secret.
Sir John smiled frostily. ‘You are a fine young man who has the potential to rise high. If you don’t take Mary’s hand, then you will lose your chance of a secure and prosperous future. You will be knighted, but how many noblemen who remember the young Roger Danby will leap forward to have you marry his daughter?’
Was this a threat? A chill raced down Robbie’s spine, filling him with dread. He looked his master in the eye. ‘I am not ashamed of my parents,’ he said. ‘Nor would I wish to marry anyone who despises my kin.’
‘Your loyalty gives you credit, but be warned, my niece would be unlikely to excuse scandal. Mary is a proud girl. Too proud, if truth be told. But what a woman does not know will not trouble her.’
Robbie gaped. ‘I would want to share everything with the woman I love,’ he said.
‘Then you’re naive.’ Sir John shook his head reproachfully. ‘Are we now getting to the truth of the matter? Has another woman given you hope of marriage?’
Robbie dropped his head. Despite the warmth of her kiss and her pleasure in his company, Rowenna had given him quite the opposite. He had been left not with hope, but with a sense of despair greater than he had felt when he believed he loved Mary. Rowenna loved him as a friend, but
it had been clear the kiss was nothing more than fun for her, like dancing with different men, like kissing Wat or the village boys. He raked his memory of their encounter for any sign her feelings ran as deeply as his, but each indication could be explained away and every flicker of hope was quenched. Even her misunderstanding in thinking he was asking for her hand in marriage had been met with amusement rather than eagerness.
‘No one has given me her heart,’ he said, his face twisting.
‘You are far too unworldly, Master Danby. Now, you are expected at the tournament grounds this morning. Do well in your events and think on what I have said. If you choose to reject my offer, you will be rejecting everything I have given you.’
* * *
The tournament was not as well attended as before. The riots and days of delay meant people had either lost interest or could not spare the time and the audience consisted mainly of the parties who had a personal interest: squires and their lords, wives and lovers. Robbie looked for Rowenna in the crowded stands, but could not see her and came to the conclusion she had not attended. He missed the sound of her laughter and the sight of her bright eyes gleaming with excitement. He missed the feel of her in his arms as she embraced him enthusiastically. The kiss he dropped on to Mary’s hand left him unmoved. He vented his frustration with his sword and was placed third in the contest. He achieved greater success with his bow, as each arrow found the centre of the target. Perhaps imagining it was his heart they pierced helped.
He received his prize to great applause, conscious of Mary’s eyes on him. As he bowed before Sir John, she beckoned him over. Aware of being watched, he could not refuse. To slight her in public would be the height of rudeness, especially given that everyone seemed to know of his interest. He made sure his conversation was politely formal. It would not be fair to continue with the warmth he had tried to show now that he knew he was not in love with her, but as he did his best to ignore the barely masked irritation he saw in her eyes when he stumbled over his words, he wondered why she had set her cap at him at all.
A Midsummer Knight's Kiss (HQR Historical) Page 17