by Greg Ness
Lisa sensed his apprehension. Stephen had been bothered by Bruce’s apparent abandonment for a while. Life can bring sudden changes and Stephen wasn’t always accepting of them. Lisa eased his mind by offering him a smile. It might’ve been lame, but her smile was always enough to fill Stephen’s spirits. From the day he met her, there was something about it. It was a special smile, one that was only for him. For everyone else there was a smile, but for Stephen there was a smile. Lisa could never consciously make it happen, it was just a natural result of the deep affections she had for him. And it didn’t just involve her lips. Her eyes gained an indescribable twinkle to them. The dimples on her cheeks and the wrinkles in the corners of her eyes attributed to the smile. Stephen and Lisa both knew it existed, but never acknowledged it. For Stephen, it was the greatest gift he could receive. He took her smile and returned one back.
Lisa remarked, “Only one month until graduation.”
Four years of hard work were almost over. The prospect of moving on from college was thrilling. “One month.”
Lisa’s eyes wandered around the restaurant and oddly became more reflective. Was she about to cry? The smile that radiated just seconds before was gone, replaced with a smile that bounced around, struggling to stay upwards. It definitely looked like she was about to cry. Her eyes began to produce all-out tears. It broke his heart to see her like this. What did he screw up? His mind raced. Did something happen in her family? Was she secretly flunking a class and wouldn’t graduate? As her smile continued to die, he finally spoke. “Are you okay?”
Lisa’s eyes, without a trace of positivity, locked with his. “Stephen, there’s something I have to tell you.” The anticipation was tearing him up. The room spun in his head and his mind howled with insanity while waiting for her words. He casually responded to the best of his ability, “Yes?”
“I know you’re against leaving Michigan when we graduate, but I think I’m going to go to Los Angeles for a little while.” She continued to talk, but Stephen wasn’t fully paying attention anymore. It was shocking; his heart folded. They had dated for a year and she never mentioned moving to Los Angeles. Ever. At least not that he could remember. He wondered why she would wait until a month before graduation to tell him. His heart bounced around. There were too many questions to ask.
“What? I don’t understand,” was all Stephen could muster up.
Stephen waited for a response. Miles continued to sniff around the backyard for a spot to urinate. “Well? What are you waiting for?” This process took forever every single night. “Come on Miles, will you pick a spot and piss already?” Miles turned his little head and looked at Stephen. He barked a single bark and went back to searching. “Shut up you stupid man,” was the best translation Stephen could offer. Stephen shook his head in disdain and continued waiting.
Once Miles’ nightly ritual was over, Stephen took him inside to watch TV news, his own nightly ritual. It was good to stay informed, Stephen always figured. He flipped on the TV.
“Tonight, a milestone is reached. The number of suicides reached since the ILD has reached a staggering 1.5 billion…”
This news frustrated Stephen. 1.5 billion was an insane number. How can that many people despise their lives that much? 1.5 billion people have killed themselves since the discovery of the ILD. 1.5 Billion. Stephen just turned the TV on, but it was already enough. He turned it off. “Come on bud,” he called to Miles.
Together, they headed to bed.
Stephen hated hearing about how many lives he helped to end.
3
Stephen looked out the window and saw the tiny world below him. He never cared much for flying and neither did Miles, who was patiently sitting on his lap. With all the traveling Stephen was forced to endure, it was nice to have a plane of his own.
Stephen enjoyed the view of the world below. Everything looked oddly miniaturized, like they were transformed to toys. Unfortunately, that vanished as he rose above the clouds. From there, abstract visions of a million things came to life. The clouds offered nothing but possibilities that would simply change every few seconds. What started as an innocent bunny could transform into a golfing alligator. The clouds were pastels of possibilities. That didn’t interest him. When the clouds came, Stephen slept and waited for his destination.
He was en route to Los Angeles to give a lecture on the ILD. He would be speaking at UCLA to members of the medical community. The speech would be focused on the theoretical issues and facts available. Next week, he would be in Washington D.C., where he’d have to give a perfect speech to the members of Congress. After that he’d meet with the president to discuss the ramifications of the ILD in American life. The speech to Congress was going to be televised live nationally. The immediate UCLA speech was more of a preparatory speech for his big national address.
Stephen was the primary voice and elite thinker in the field. Everyone had an opinion on what the ILD meant or what properties surrounded it, but only Stephen’s opinion was treated as canon.
He glanced out the window.
The waves crashed. Stephen and Bruce were two 8 year-old kids frolicking in the summertime enjoying their vacation away from school. Come fall, they would be in third grade. They played on the not-so-crowded Silver Beach at Saint Joseph, Michigan. They were covered in sunscreen; their protective mothers (who were busy gossiping and relaxing) wanted to keep them safe from the strong rays piercing their young skin.
Stephen was building a sandcastle with the soft white sand. Armed with only a bucket and a palm sized shovel, he had amassed quite a structure. He had filled the bucket with sand and water at least a dozen times. The structure consisted of four tall towers with connecting walls. In the middle, was a large Tower Of Babel-type structure. While it wasn’t completely sound, for a six year old, it was impressive.
Bruce, on the other hand, was digging. He had created enough trenches in the beach to start a war and have plenty of cover space. Bruce didn’t use any tools, only the hands on his arms. He dug like a dog, flinging the sand between his legs. Swipe, swipe, swipe. He was like a machine. He found himself at a particular hole that managed to get so deep, he wasn’t visible to Stephen anymore.
Stephen yelled, “Bruce!”
“Yeah?” Bruce’s response went straight into the sand and failed to reach Stephen’s ears. Bruce propped up his head and waited for a response, receiving none. He resumed digging and continued his descent.
Stephen yelled again. “Bruce!”
Bruce halted his digging and stormed out of the trench. “What!?”
“Come here!”
Bruce approached Stephen, who was triumphantly holding his bucket. “What do you think of my castle?”
Bruce looked at the castle, tempted to kick it over. “It’s good.”
Stephen observed Bruce’s face and realized what he wanted to do. “I’ll kill you.”
Bruce laughed. He knew Stephen would be mighty mad if he knocked it over. He noticed the tall tower in the middle. “What’s that for?”
Stephen stepped in the castle and gently tapped his tower with pride.
“This is where they watch over everybody.”
“Who?”
Stephen stopped, confused. He hadn’t entirely thought it over. “The people in charge.”
Bruce shrugged. What a weird castle. “You want to see my castle?”
The two ran over to Bruce’s freshly deep trench, a crater on the beach. Stephen pointed out, “That’s a hole.”
“Wanna help?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Stephen replied, “I want to make my castle.”
“Please?”
Stephen looked back at his castle. It was waiting to be completed. It would be awesome and only needed a little bit of work be finished. He looked back at Bruce, who was silently begging him to help. He couldn’t let his friend down.
“Okay.”
Stephen hopped in the shallow trench. “What do we do?” Bru
ce launched his hands into the sand. “We dig ‘til we get to Australia.” Stephen and Bruce dug and dug. For their tiny bodies, it became a deep abyss.
Bruce’s hand unexpectedly struck something hard. “Woah.” Stephen stopped digging and looked at Bruce’s hands. “What?” Bruce brushed the sand away to uncover something hidden deep under the surface. Bruce hoped for something fun, like a treasure box. It became clear what was there: a small, beat-up box with the word ELPIS indented on the cover.
“Treasure!” Bruce yelped with excitement.
Stephen pulled the box out of the sand and examined it. It wasn’t especially big and it looked ancient. Bruce was convinced there was pirate treasure inside.
Bruce begged, “Open it, open it!”
Stephen unlatched the hook and opened the box.
Miles rested on Stephen’s lap.
“Are you ready for this?”
Stephen’s partner and longtime friend Jay Campbell studied him. Stephen woke to find Campbell staring at him, inches from his face. Campbell was always the one to freak out about things. At least someone did. Stephen needed someone who could look over his shoulder and question him.
“Is everything clear on the speech?” Campbell nagged. Stephen was tired and wanted to sleep. Half-interested, he replied, “It’s good.”
The two met shortly after Stephen started his job at the University of Michigan. Campbell was a lowly student whose social life consisted of computer games. He donned glasses, a combed over haircut, and was stickly skinny; he was an all-star nerd. Stephen found it funny; stereotypes for nerds were always spot-on. Whether it was the looks or lack of social skills, they were all the same. One day in class, Stephen felt bad for him and offered him an assistant’s job in the lab just to get him out of the dorm. Campbell, of course, took it. The two built a good relationship and Campbell stuck around.
Campbell insisted, “Stephen, we have to discuss this.”
Stephen wearily opened his eyes. “You know, it’s times like this I really don’t like you.”
Stephen went back to sleep. Campbell leaned in to nudge him awake but a growl resonated from below. Miles, watching Campbell’s hand creep forward, did not appreciate the gesture. The top of his mouth rose to reveal his fangs. Though they weren’t the most frightening teeth, they would still elicit a shot of pain. Campbell locked eyes with Miles. Showdown. Campbell was convinced to wake his boss; Miles was determined to stop him. Campbell inched his hand toward Stephen’s shoulder. Miles tracked it and moved his eyes with astute attention. Campbell was about to make it when Miles sprang to action and bit him.
“Ow!” Campbell yanked back his hand.
Stephen opened one eye to catch a glimpse of Campbell, who was flailing his hand in the air, trying to shed the pain. Stephen patted Miles on the head.
“Good boy.”
Miles rested back down on Stephen’s lap with a quiet yelp of satisfaction. Campbell was not pleased. “No, bad boy! Fine Stephen. If you think you’re ready then just sleep.”
“Thank you.”
Stephen went back to sleep. He was ready for the speech. His confidence was never broken. Bruce had rubbed off on him.
4
Lisa Binsby’s eyes were full of tears. She tried to keep herself composed, but it wasn’t working. Deep in the heart of the night, she stood on a pier, the wind dramatically blowing at her back. It was chilly so she bundled up in a slim jacket and scarf to stay warm.
Stephen couldn’t remember how long it had been since he last saw her.
Lisa pleaded, “In a corner of my mind, I remember everything. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I do. I remember the laughs we shared. The silly arguments we had. It’s the little things I miss the most. I know things have changed, but I need you now. I miss you.” Lisa’s tears smeared her face. Her green eyes were full of longing. Her thin eyebrows burrowed on her face as she waited to be taken back.
A handsome man with protruding muscles gazed back at her. The man, tough on the outside, was fragile on the inside. He was at a loss for words. He looked at her wanting eyes and simply said, “I can’t.”
Campbell watched with teary eyes.
Stephen peered at Campbell. “Are you crying?”
Campbell was sitting in front of the TV in his hotel room, absorbed in the show he was watching. His eyes were plainly tearier than they had been before. “I love this show, Stephen. Lisa Binsby is my favorite actress.”
Stephen agreed with him on one point: Lisa was the best actress in Hollywood. It was only a matter of time before she started raking in some serious awards. Stephen never told Campbell about him and Lisa. There was no point. It would only produce hundreds of questions he didn’t feel like answering.
Stephen asked, “Why aren’t you ready to go?”
Stephen was sharply dressed. Campbell, on the other hand, looked like garbage. He was still wearing his dirty white T-shirt he wore on the plane. In the 45 minutes they had been at the hotel, Campbell had done nothing. Stephen was fed up. “Screw it, let’s go.” The night before the big speech was reserved for a few drinks.
“What about Miles?”
Stephen glared at him. “Seriously? He takes better care of himself than you do.”
Stephen left the room, knowing Campbell would grab his shoes and follow.
Stephen and Campbell arrived at a bar in Hollywood. This was Stephen’s type of place: plenty of pool tables and giant screen TVs. It was especially crowded on this day. Everyone was dressed in their best attire, except for Campbell, who didn’t care for bars but came to accompany his friend anyway. The bar reeked of desperation as dozens of men stumbled around looking for a late-night hookup.
Stephen fetched beers for himself and Campbell. He checked out the TVs: no good games on tonight. Across the way, there was a group of people cheering. He glanced at a crowd that was watching… something.
“What is that Campbell?”
Campbell stuck out his neck to try and see, “I think it’s just someone playing pool.”
Stephen and Campbell trekked over to the crowds. They saw Paul Higgins in the process of schooling some poor opponent in pool. Paul Higgins was the biggest star in Hollywood, a dashing teen heartthrob. He was worth millions of dollars, maybe as much as Stephen. Surely there were personal guards nearby making sure no one got too tangled up with him. Stephen met plenty of actors in his day. He never met one he liked. They all loved themselves and often acted like they were the second coming of Christ.
Stephen noticed that the balls remaining on the pool table were of mostly one type. Someone was dominating the game and it appeared to be Paul Higgins. Paul strutted around the table as his opponent stayed silent. His cocky prance irritated Stephen. He didn’t just beat his opponent, probably some average Joe trying to impress a girl, he berated him.
“In my last life, I was the pool champion of the world!” Paul proclaimed.
Campbell sighed, “What a tool.”
Stephen nodded. “Agreed.”
Paul took a shot and nailed it. He was just the 8-ball away from victory. The crowd roared with applause.
“What is that? Six wins in a row?” Paul asked, continuing his show. He twirled the stick around his body and above his head like a baton.
Stephen’s goal for the night revealed itself: he was going to teach Paul Higgins a lesson in humility.
“Follow me, Campbell.”
Paul Higgins sunk his final shot and the game was over. Stephen wormed his way past the tightly woven throngs of applauding people, determined to face Paul before anyone had the chance to beat him to it. Stephen emerged and stood at the end of the pool table, staring down Paul. He didn’t say a word. It was like a western shoot-out. Paul stared back. It would be seconds until one of them would draw. The crowd quietly listened.
“Another challenger? How much money do you want to lose?” Paul taunted.
The crowd simultaneously turned their attention to Stephen. There wasn’t a trace of fear in his body. He threw down
twenty $100 bills on the table. Draw.
Stephen declared in a Clint Eastwood-like tone, “I hope you’re as good you think you are.”
Campbell slapped his head in disbelief. The crowd turned their attention to Paul.
Stephen grabbed a pool stick and waited.
Paul Higgins was stunned. He didn’t know if this mystery fellow was bluffing or if he should be worried. He stood and pondered, knowing he couldn’t let the crowd down. He visibly regained his composure.
“Deal.” Paul’s guard emerged from the shadows and took the scattered money off the table. Stephen quipped, “Make sure you don’t lose that. I’ll need it back in five minutes.”
Campbell squeezed his way through the crowds and came to the aid of his boss. “Why are you carrying that much money?”
Stephen shrugged.
“Are you any good at pool?”
Stephen whispered, “Just watch this.”
Lisa Binsby was both impressed and touched. Stephen just cleared the whole pool table and won her a giant stuffed animal. This was reputed as one of the hardest carnival games in existence and Stephen just dominated it. The game started with six pool balls in the center. The goal was to knock all six balls into the pockets using only four shots. Since this feat was typically impossible, the prize was a monstrous stuffed pink dog that was almost as tall as Lisa. It dawned on Stephen that he would have to carry the dog through the fair for the rest of the day. Perhaps he should have waited to play until they were on the way out.
Stephen and Lisa had recently graduated college. It was June and St. Joseph, Michigan was having its annual fair. Lisa was leaving for Los Angeles in a few weeks and Stephen would soon be starting his entry-level job. All they had was today. Tomorrow was more than an uncertainty; life was at a crossroads for both of them.
Stephen and Lisa held hands as they strolled through the rides, games, food stands, and crowds of people. The fair had a rural feel to it and the sun was out in full force. Summer had officially arrived and was blessing the people of Michigan with comfortable weather.