“Listen to me.” Tobias peeled her head away from his chest and held her face between his hands. His palms cradled her cheeks as if they were made from precious glass. “You know where I live, and you know where I work. If you ever feel like you n-need me, then you come and find me right away! It's not like I'm going away forever.”
“You're not?” Lyneah could hear the weakness in her own voice. She sounded so pitiful, she made herself sick. Tobey was trying to cheer her up, but she knew better. He wasn't traveling with her anymore and she wouldn't see him every day. She was spoiled by his constant company. More than likely, she would see him less and less, they would both get busier and busier, and they would eventually drift apart.
“No. Besides, you're not even sure where you're going next! Maybe you won't be so far away from Lundun? Maybe you can come visit me?” He returned her head to his chest and idly played with her hair.
“I don't feel so good,” Lyneah whimpered against his coat. She had half a mind to abandon her mission and work with him at Lucky's. It wasn't logical, but at least it would end her pain.
“Sweetheart.” Tobey whispered the word in her ear. “Do you want me to come with you?”
She did. She wanted that more than anything, but she couldn't keep asking him to make sacrifices for her. “No. I don't want you to lose your job.”
When Lyneah lifted her head, Tobey brushed a thumb across her cheek, wiping away her tears. He didn't say anything for awhile, he just studied her face, searching for a sign that she needed him to come. As much as he wanted to keep his job, Lyneah's well-being was far more important than anything else. “Will you be alright?” he asked.
“No.”
“Then I'll come with you.”
“No!” Lyneah practically shouted the word. She was giving him so many mixed signals, Tobias was hopeless to keep up. “No... I don't want you to feel like you're obligated to help me, Tobey. You've done everything for me, and I've done nothing for you in return. You should go.”
“What do you mean, you haven't done anything for me?” Tobias shook his head and clicked his tongue at her. “You're so silly. I've enjoyed every minute with you, Lyneah. I got to spend time with a wonderful woman, and I wouldn't trade that for the world. My time with you is worth more to me than anything.”
Lyneah wanted to die. He always said the right thing. How did he always manage to say the right thing? Every time he said something sweet, it was harder to see him go.
Tobias heard a whistle from another incoming train, so he took her hand and held it. “Tell me honestly... will you be alright if I leave?”
Lyneah could barely bring herself to nod. “Mmhmm.”
“Are you absolutely sure? Because if you're not okay...”
As she nodded again, Lyneah couldn't bring herself to look at his eyes. “You can go. I'm fine.”
“If you miss me, you can always come find me again,” Tobias reminded her. When he took a step backward, Lyneah's entire body was screaming in resistance. She wanted to pull him back and beg him to follow her. But when he raised her hand and kissed it, she knew it was time to let him go. “Farewell... Your Highness,” he said with a smile.
“Farewell, Tobey.”
As she watched him walk away, a piece of Lyneah's soul went with him. Parting ways with Tobey was easily the worst experience of her life. When she fled from the castle, it was easy to leave Roderick behind. So why was it so hard to let Tobias go?
Lyneah would never miss anyone more than him.
32
“Move along, old man!” Doon hollered as he slapped the prisoner in the back of the head. “I know you like to stop and smell the roses, but this isn't a sightseeing trip.”
As they moved across the deck, the prisoner's massive shackles howled across the wooden floor. When Doon realized his manacle was dragging across the ground, scuffing his deck, he hit the prisoner's head again. “Pick up your feet when you walk! For god's sake, you're ruining my deck! Have a little more care, or I'll make you polish it!”
“You... bastard,” the prisoner croaked as he squinted against the sun.
“What did you say?” Doon's gloved hand caught the back of the man's neck and squeezed. “When you're on my ship, you won't talk to me like that... do you understand?” The man didn't say anything, so Doon shook him and squeezed harder. “Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Yes sir,” Doon corrected him. “I'm the captain here, you'll show me some respect. Fail to do so, and next time, I'll have you licking shit from the deck. Do you think you'd like that? Would that be a nice treat for you?” At the end of his lecture, he shoved the man forward and kicked his shin. “Now move your ass!”
Unbeknownst to Doon, Kitt was watching him abuse the prisoner. Bryce let her borrow a spyglass, so she studied the scene at a distance. The man was at least twice as old as Doon. He was frail, pale, and bony, with sunken cheeks and hollow eyes. Watching Doon's mistreatment of a downtrodden older man was depressing, to say the least. Every time the captain showed her tenderness, it was easy to forget what sort of person he was: a notorious pirate with a well-earned reputation.
After a few more minutes of shuffling around on the deck, Doon handed the prisoner off to one of his men, who escorted him back to his cell. When Kitt approached Doon a few seconds later, he looked shocked to see her. “Ah... Kitten! It's always good to see you. Did you sleep well?” he asked with a grin.
“I did. Better than usual, in fact.” She was reluctant to ask her next question, but her curiosity was killing her. “Who was that prisoner?”
“Uh... no one of major importance,” Doon claimed. “Sometimes I let my prisoners walk around the deck a bit and get some exercise. I let them stretch their legs, which is more than any jailer's done for me.”
“You talk like you've been in prison a lot.”
“A few times. Well... more than a few. But I always get out in a matter of days, so...” Doon gave his head a nervous scratch. “Anyway, I was thinking... you've never been up on the crow's nest, have you?” When Kitt shook her head, he added, “Well, it's something you have to see at least once. The view from up there is amazing.”
“I don't know. I'm a little afraid of heights.”
“Afraid of heights?” Doon chuckled as he repeated her words. “How can you be afraid of heights when you're on an airship, love? You do realize we're floating through the sky... yes?”
“Of course!” Kitt lightly punched his arm. “It's just... the crow's nest would feel different. I'd feel like I could fall to my death at any moment.”
“As if I'd let you fall to your death! You have such meager faith in me.” When he started walking in the direction of the crow's nest, Kitt reluctantly followed. “I won't force you to go, but if you feel so inc--”
“I'll go,” Kitt interrupted. She gripped the bottom of the ladder in her hands, ignoring their trembling as she started to climb. As strong as Doon was, he needed a strong woman to match him. She didn't want him to think she was a coward, quaking with fear at the thought of climbing a ladder. But in actuality, she was a coward who quaked with fear at the thought of climbing a ladder. By the time she reached the sixth rung, she was already regretting her decision.
“I'll follow you up,” Doon called to her. “Take your time.”
“Doooon.” When she was three-fourths of the way up, Kitt was whimpering his name. “Doon, this is terrifying!”
“Keep going. Don't look down!” He kept trying to shout encouraging words to her, but Kitt was momentarily frozen. It took her forever to find the courage to climb again. When they finally reached the top, her sigh of relief was almost never-ending.
“Good god, that was frightening!” she exclaimed. “Can we please never do that again?”
Doon stood beside her and shrugged. “You get used to it.” The crow's nest used to be his favorite place for a smoke, but since Kitt was with him, he doubted she would take too kindly to him lighting up. For her sake, he refrained.
When she peered over the side of the crow's nest, Kitt groaned. “I can't believe I have to climb back down.”
“You're alright. Stop worrying.” Doon lightly patted her shoulder, which was probably as close as she would get to being comforted by him.
After being in the crow's nest for a minute or two, Kitt's nerves started to settle, and she started to enjoy herself. She was alone with Doon, towering above sky, isolated from the world. If she raised an arm, she could practically capture a cloud in her hand. “This isn't so terrible, actually,” she told him.
“I'm glad you approve.”
Kitt took Bryce's spyglass from her pocket and held it to her eye. She could see so far in every direction, Kitt swore she was looking at new continents.
“I'm sorry about the bird shit everywhere,” Doon suddenly said. “I know it's called the crow's nest, and maybe a bit of bird shit should be expected, but it's not very good for romance, is it? As soon as we get back down, I'll tell my men to scrub the place.”
“Wait... romance?” Kitt's spyglass lowered and her eyebrow raised. “Is that why we're up here? Is Captain Doon romancing me?”
“What? Romance? No! I'd never do such a thing. That was a slip of the tongue, Kitten. It was a momentary madness.” Though he rejected the notion, his grin said otherwise.
“You are trying to romance me!” she accused him.
“No no no! Perish the thought!”
“Well... I suppose I can see how this might be romantic... if I didn't feel like I was seconds away from a fatal fall.” Kitt wasn't exaggerating. Every time the wind blew a bit harder than usual, the crow's nest rattled, and her face was drained of color.
“We can go back down, if you'd like.”
“Not yet. I wouldn't want to ruin your big, romantic plans.” When she caught him scowling at her, Kitt realized it was time to stop teasing him. Chuckling, she reached over to smooth the crease from his brow. “And stop glaring at me, for goodness sake!”
“I'm not glaring. I'm gazing intently.”
“Uh huh.” Kitt rolled her eyes at him. “You know, Doon, I really love your airship. It's completely mad that I feel that way, since you basically took me here against my will... but I love it. I love flying. And I love--” She couldn't finish her thought.
“You love... what?”
“I love being with you,” Kitt confessed. “At first, I thought you were surprisingly tolerable, but now I find you... indispensable. If I didn't have you in my life, believe it or not, I think I'd actually miss you.”
“Of course you would!” Doon said with a snort. “You're actually saying this like it's some sort of new revelation? You started missing me from the very first time I walked out of a room, Kitten!”
“Oh god...” she groaned. “Your arrogance never fails to astound me.”
“You're right about me, you know.” Doon's tone abruptly shifted from sarcastic to serious. “I do keep people at a distance. Honestly, Kitt... you're the first person I've ever wanted to... keep close to me.”
Kitt slowly turned in Doon's direction. When she met his gaze, his dark eyes were smoldering, intense. When he took a step toward her, her body went numb.
“I never wanted anyone close to me,” Doon continued. “It's safer that way. But you... you make it hard on me.”
Doon traced a finger along the entire length of her arm. Being touched by him was the most tingle-inducing experience of her life, and she never wanted it to end. He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger, encouraging her to lift her head. As Doon's face gradually descended, Kitt's breathing slowed, but her heart beat faster. His lips hovered over hers, as if testing her, or possibly teasing her—god, she hoped he wasn't teasing her!
When Doon finally brought his mouth to hers, Kitt whimpered. She actually whimpered. As he kissed her, she reached up, coiling her fingers through his messy brown hair. To Kitt's surprise, it was no small kiss. Her lips parted slightly, opening to accept his tongue. It felt so amazing to kiss him, she nearly burst into tears at the thought of it.
Doon didn't stop there. He rained kisses along the entire length of her jaw before dropping to her neck. Kitt tilted her head, granting him better access. He kissed and suckled her warm, soft neck, moaning into her skin as he devoured her. When she felt his tongue sliding to her shoulder, Kitt's entire body swayed. She wondered if she was close to passing out.
Kitt guided Doon's lips back to hers. As he kissed her again, deeper and more passionately than before, a primal grunt rattled his throat. His arms slid around her, pulling her close. Kitt kissed him again and again, and between kisses, she whispered, “I love you.” She thought she felt him pulling away, so she held him tighter and kissed him again. “I love you, Doon.”
Doon took a step backward, breaking her hold on him. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly changed his mind. Instead of saying anything, Doon turned away and started descending the ladder.
“Are you serious?” Kitt shrieked at him. “You kiss me like that, I tell you I love you, and now you're going to flee?”
As he continued to descend, Doon didn't utter a word. He concentrated on the rungs of the ladder, determined to get away from her as quickly as possible.
“Doon!” Kitt continued to scream at him as he climbed down. “Why do you have an aversion to being loved... to being cared for? Is it really so terrible? You had to know someone would be mad enough to fall for you! I wish you wouldn't make me regret it.”
When Doon reached the bottom of the ladder and started to walk away, she screamed his name again. “Doon! Don't you dare leave! I'm... I'm scared to come down on my own!”
“Bloody hell!” Doon hissed as he turned around and grabbed the bottom of the ladder. “Alright, come down. I'll wait for you.”
Kitt was much less scared going down, likely because he made her too furious to focus on anything else. “Honestly, Doon, what is your problem? I love you... so what? It isn't as if you don't care for me too! And don't even try to deny it, because I know you do!”
“I don't need it,” Doon coldly replied. “I don't need this in my life. Before you came along, I was perfectly content.”
“And now you're not content? Oh, I'm so sorry to inconvenience you with my love!” Kitt railed at him as she continued down the ladder. “I'll try harder to hate you from now on, because I'm sure that would be much easier for you.”
“Good. I hope you do.”
“You're an ass. I mean it, Doon. When you're not the best part of my life, you're absolutely the biggest disappointment of my life! How is that possible? How can you be so wonderful and yet so very, very--”
Kitt's voice trailed off when she realized he was gone. When she only had seven rungs to go, he had abandoned her.
33
“Kitt.”
When she woke the next morning and saw Captain Doon standing over her bed, Kitt nearly screamed. She wasn't expecting to see anyone in her room.
“Kitt, we need to go,” Doon said, sounding rather urgent. He went to her wardrobe and picked out a velvety pink dress, then he tossed it over her bed. “Get changed into that.”
“A dress?” Kitt sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Why?”
“Don't be angry, but we're back at the castle. I need you to--”
That got her attention. Kitt was already shrieking at him before he could finish speaking. “The castle? Again? Are you serious?”
“Yes. But I can explain. Loreina gave me a mission to kill Rory McCray, but when I go on these missions, I'm expected to--”
Kitt raised her voice and tried to speak over him. “Is this punishment for what I said yesterday? For saying I loved you?”
“When I go on these missions,” Doon ignored her and continued, “I have to bring back proof of death. And since I have no actual proof, I'm going to need you to testify on my behalf.”
“Well, I take it back!” Kitt hissed. When she leapt from bed and started tearing off her clothes in a rage, Doon turned around, but not bef
ore he got a glimpse of her brassiere. “I don't love you and I never did! Are you happy now?” She tore off her breeches and tossed them at his head.
“No, that doesn't make me happy,” he answered with a sigh.
“I mean, honestly, how could anyone ever love you? You're a monster, basically. You care more about your stupid reward money than you ever cared about me!” Kitt pulled on the dress and fumbled with its buttons. Her hands were shaking so wildly, it took her twice as long to button it.
“I'm a monster,” Doon repeated her insult with a shake of his head. “Thanks, Kitten.”
She thought he sounded genuinely hurt, so she softened a bit. “I don't mean it, Doon. I'm sorry. You're not a... monster. But you have to understand why I'm upset! I hate the castle... I despise it... I don't like pretending to be the princess... and yet you keep insisting on taking me back! You do realize the queen's trying to kill me, right?”
Doon peeked around his shoulder. When he realized she had finished changing clothes, he turned in her direction. “Now that's a bit of an exaggeration!”
“No... it actually isn't! An assassin tried to kill me, and I think Loreina must have hired him to do it! I don't have proof, but it makes sense. If she's capable of killing her husband, she's capable of killing me too!” Kitt saw a hint of surprise flickering on his face, so she explained, “Oh yes! Were you not aware of that? Loreina's trying to kill King Nikolai. She's been poisoning him! I saw the proof for myself! I know you think the queen is some wonderful person and you're proud to be working for her, but she's actually not good. She's horrid!”
When Doon tried to take Kitt's arm and lead her out of the room, she slapped his hand away. With a sigh, he walked from the room without her, then she stomped out of the room after him, glowering at the back of his head. “You always get so frustrated, Kitten. But you know me. You know I always have a plan. In a few days, I'll get you out of the castle again. If Roderick can get you out, it should be easy enough for me.”
A Lost Princess (Belles & Bullets Book 2) Page 22