by A. P. Jensen
The slam of the door behind her answered his question. It was only a five minute walk. She could handle it. She crossed her arms over her chest and grit her teeth against the ice cold cement. This was equivalent to walking over hot coals but she wouldn’t stop.
“Regan Lee!” Gertie yelled from her porch. “My mama said she saw Brooks carry you into the house. Is it because of that guy at your mama’s house? Margaret said she saw you kiss him? Regan Lee, did you know you don’t have shoes, honey?”
Regan was gearing herself to run before she got frostbite when a door slammed. There was the sound of running footsteps and for the second time that day Brooks picked her up. He wasn’t gentle when he settled her on his shoulder and waved at Gertie before walking down the sidewalk back to his house. She looked down and saw he wasn’t wearing shoes either.
“Put me down!” Regan yelled.
She froze when his hand slammed down on her butt. It was a hard slap that made a sound like the snap of a whip and her vision went red. Gertie laughed and when Brooks stepped back into his house and set her down she shoved him so hard he staggered back into his front door.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again!” Regan shouted.
“I’ll do it whenever I feel like it!” he shouted back.
She rubbed her butt. “I’m going to have a bruise, you ass! We’re done! Now where the hell is my boots and coat?”
His eyes were a little wild as he ran his hands through his hair. “Why the hell does it have to be you?”
“What?”
“Why does it have to be you that I want? Why can’t it be-?”
“Allison?” she finished for him and it hurt so badly she felt her heart tear a little. When she was younger Valerie compared her to Missy on a daily basis and when they got older both mothers tried to interest Brooks in Missy. If she was being honest with herself she knew her sister was the better choice for Brooks. “You can have her if you can convince her to leave Grady.”
He blinked. “I don’t want Allison.”
“Of course you do! You married her, didn’t you?”
“I don’t want to talk about Allison.”
A red mist hazed her vision. “Oh. So you want to delve into my personal life and know about the men I’ve been with but I can’t ask you about your ex-wife?”
“She has nothing to do with us.”
“Neither does Jean-Charles or Daniel or Johnny-”
“I don’t want to hear about them.”
She couldn’t believe him. “I never married any of those guys and you’re so jealous you would fight them for even touching me once upon a time! You married Allison. You married her in June in the place that we chose and she had on the dress I wanted-”
She stopped talking but it was too late. His eyes narrowed on her. She started towards the back door but he whirled her around and avoided her right hook out of instinct. He tucked both of her hands behind her in a solid grip that made her angrier because he did it with one hand.
“How would you know that? You saw a picture?”
“Let me go!”
“Not a chance, Regan Lee. How would you know that? I don’t have any pictures around and neither do your parents so how do you know?”
Tears filled her eyes and she hated herself for being so stupid. She never told anyone about that day and here she was telling the one person she never wanted to find out.
“How do you know?” he insisted.
“You don’t need to know!”
“I do,” he murmured and kissed her neck while she struggled. “I need to know.”
She shuddered and tried to knee him in the balls but he felt her tense and pulled away in time. He turned her so she faced away from him and ran his free hand over her breasts while he sucked on her neck.
“Stop,” she hissed, trying to get away from him.
His hand moved from her breasts to her abdomen and splayed there. His hand rucked up her shirt and he rubbed her quivering belly before his hand moved down to the clasp of her jeans. He didn’t undo the button like she expected- he cupped her through her jeans roughly and she bucked in his hold. She renewed her struggle to get away but it just made her horny because he was rubbing the rough material against her core and he was nibbling on her neck and-
“I was there.”
His hold slackened and she wrenched away, shivering from the lust and pain that moved in a tangled mass through her. Brooks looked as if he’d been hit over the head with a bat.
“That’s not possible.”
She blew out a breath. “I was gone six months and I couldn’t find a job. I was living in a woman’s shelter and I decided to come home. I came back on your wedding day.”
Brooks held out a hand. “Regan-”
She slapped his hand away and all the hurt and pain that pushed her further and further away from home flooded back. Seeing Brooks, the guy who once proposed to her in the snow marrying another woman six months after she left gutted her. He was the real reason she stayed away so long. She thought she was strong enough, old enough to come back and deal with this like an adult- cool, calm, collected. Yet here she was staring at Brooks with tears dripping down her face and wishing she could carve out her own heart so the pain wouldn’t make her feel as if she were dying. Brooks’ face was stark white and there was a horror, guilt and pity in his eyes. She pointed a shaking finger at him.
“I took you for granted. I know that,” she whispered. “I thought you would wait and I was wrong so I moved on. You did too.”
“I didn’t- I never-. Holy shit.”
She wiped away her tears and took a deep breath and shut herself down. She was done with this. “I want my coat and boots.”
“You can’t leave now. We have to talk-”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Ever. Where’s my stuff?”
He saw something on her face that made him give in. “Under the couch.”
Any other time she would have laughed but she couldn’t. Not now. She stuffed her feet into her boots and couldn’t even wait to put on her coat before she rushed out the door like Satan was on her heels. There was a vise around her chest. She shrugged on her coat and jogged down the sidewalk and didn’t hear anybody that called out to her. She walked up the stairs to her mom’s house and dimly noted that Jean-Charles’s car was gone. Valerie was sitting on the couch when Regan opened the door. She looked up from her book.
“Hey honey.”
Regan burst into tears and stumbled over to her mom and collapsed on the couch. Her mom cooed and pat her on the head. The front door opened and Missy walked in and sat, watching Regan clinically while she crossed her legs and waited for the storm to die down.
“What happened?” Valerie asked.
“Stupid asshole and that whore,” Regan sobbed.
Valerie looked at Missy for a translation but she shrugged, just as bewildered as her mom. Regan pushed her mom’s hands away and sat up to snatch some tissues and pull herself together. When she saw Missy she sneered and leaned her head back to ease her pounding head.
“Who’s the whore?” Missy asked.
“Allison.”
Valerie frowned. “She’s a nice girl.”
Regan glared at her through swollen eyes. “You think I don’t know that?”
“I’m confused,” Missy admitted.
“Because you’re stupid,” Regan snapped.
“Hey, I went to college!”
“Regan, stop messing with Missy and spill your guts,” Valerie said impatiently.
Regan groaned and covered her face with both hands. “I told Brooks something I shouldn’t have.”
“You told him someone was better in bed than he was? That was low.”
“No,” Regan moaned. “It was worse.”
“You told him you had a threesome?”
Regan snorted. “I wish. I told him that I saw him get married.”
“What?” Valerie and Missy shrieked together.
Regan lowered her hands an
d looked at them. “I… wasn’t doing well so I came back the day Brooks got married. The town was empty and I was passing the church and I saw all the cars. I thought someone died and,” she shot a glance at her mother and looked away. “I thought I might know who it was so I stopped and looked in. They were saying their vows.”
Regan didn’t tell them that Paula saw her standing in the entrance of the church and hauled her away before anyone saw her. Paula told Regan she didn’t belong here, that Brooks fell in love with Allison and she had no place in White Mist. Paula held out a bundle of money while Regan just stared at her, tears pouring down her face. The bells tolled as the happy couple walked out of the church and Regan turned away from Paula without taking the money and watched Brooks take pictures with his new bride. It was the worst day of her life. Why the hell hadn’t she kept her mouth shut?
“Shit,” Missy said. “And you told him? Why?”
“He won’t talk about his marriage!” Regan spouted. “He’s all on me about the men I’ve been with but the minute I ask about Allison he shuts down. I never married those guys! He says he never stopped loving me but he put a ring on someone else and screwed her? I don’t know what to believe. I thought I could be with him and not have this.” She gestured to her devastated face.
“No wonder you didn’t come back,” Valerie said.
Regan looked at her mom’s regretful face and knew she would never tell her what Paula did. Valerie would never forgive her friend for that. It was meant to be that Regan came back on that day and witnessed what she had. It had fueled her drive to accomplish her dreams.
“What did Brooks say?” Missy asked.
“He couldn’t say anything but I think I saw pity on his face.”
Missy winced. “I don’t know how I’d feel if I saw Guy marrying someone else.”
“Believe me, you don’t want to know,” Regan said and rubbed her aching chest.
Had it been only an hour ago that she’d thought she was content here? She covered her face as mortification filled her. They were done, finished, over.
Chapter Eleven
Sophie sat beside Regan, fiddling with her new shoes and admiring them while ignoring her sister and cousin on stage. The Delaney family took up a whole row in the theater with Paula and Al sitting beside her mom. Max and Holly had Bobby between them to keep him out of mischief and JC sat on Regan’s other side taking pictures not of the kids on stage but the reactions of the parents. Regan refused to look for Brooks.
On stage Angel was dressed as an adorable pilgrim while Luke played an Indian. Angel stared off into space, eating red vines and humming while the older kids took care of the dialogue. Luke took a fruit from the table and bit into it before realizing it was plastic. He chucked it to the side, hitting another kid in the face who started crying. Most of the cast snickered and forgot their lines. Their teacher hissed from the front row and tried to bring order to the giggling kids.
When the play finished they all filed into a gym where there was food and long tables set up. Regan heard the whispers and knew Gertie and other neighbors had spread word of her and Brooks’ antics this afternoon. JC’s presence kept most of the gossips at bay because at their core everyone was still polite in front of outsiders. People noted the way Jean-Charles touched her and looked around for Brooks. When she and Jean-Charles sat they were joined by her mom, Uncle Al, Paula, Missy’s brood and Holly who chastised Luke and tried to placate his teacher who was in tears. Everyone chattered and she felt… shielded.
At some point she looked up during her meal and felt her heart sink when she saw Brooks talking to Allison. They were smiling at one another and Allison handed Brooks her baby. Brooks smiled down at the baby and Allison beamed. They were so in tune with one another and there was no tension between them. Regan looked away and dropped her fork. No one else noticed. They chattered around her when all she wanted to do was run. Angel came over and scooted herself onto Regan’s lap and finished the rest of her meal. Regan leaned forward and breathed in her red vines and jelly beans smell. It calmed her a little but not enough.
“When are you leaving?” Regan asked Jean-Charles.
Everyone paused because her question had nothing to do with any of the three discussions floating around the table. Jean-Charles glanced around at their audience before he answered.
“Day after Thanksgiving. Why?”
Angel looked up at Regan. “You’re leaving? You said you would stay for Christmas!”
Regan faltered as she stared down into identical sherry eyes. Angel pouted and her lower lip quivered.
“You did say that, Aunty,” Sophie interjected. “You didn’t show me your shoes your friend brought from New York!”
Max came over with Bobby. “What’s up?”
“Regan’s trying to bail and my girls are onto her,” Missy said.
Regan glared at her sister as Max and Bobby looked at her.
“You promised you’d stay for Christmas!” Luke repeated, standing on the chair across from her.
“You said you’d open presents with us. You never did before!” Bobby said. “I told you about the hot chocolate and eggnog, right?”
Her siblings smirked as their kids emotionally blackmailed her. Damn it. Jean-Charles ate a slice of pumpkin pie and watched her with twinkling eyes. He was enjoying seeing her outnumbered and trapped by sentiment.
“I did say that,” Regan relented.
Max and Missy high fived and congratulated their kids for forcing Aunt Regan to keep her promises.
Jean-Charles leaned over and whispered in her ear, “The woman at the front desk at the inn told me that construction worker spanked you for letting me touch you.” He waggled his brows. “You should thank me.”
“Uncle Brooks spanked you?” Angel said loudly.
As everyone focused on her Regan wished she could die. It was at that moment Brooks came over and picked up Sophie so he could sit beside Regan. He settled her niece in his lap.
Angel looked at him with big eyes. “You spanked my aunty?”
Brooks looked around at the adults and kids who waited for his reply. Regan refused to look at him.
“Just once. She deserved it,” Brooks said.
“You can’t spank her. She’s old!” Angel informed him.
Brooks lowered his voice. “She likes it.”
Angel looked up at Regan. “You like being spanked? It hurts!”
“I think you have to go to the bathroom,” Regan said and got up with her niece in her arms.
While her niece took care of her business in the bathroom Regan banged her head against the wall. What was she doing here? Angel came out of the stall with a smile on her face and Regan’s heart melted. That’s why. Angel took her hand as they walked out of the bathroom. Brooks stepped in front of them with Guy by his side.
“Come on Angel,” Guy said.
“Don’t spank her!” Angel bellowed up at Brooks before taking her dad’s hand.
Guy chuckled. When Regan tried to follow them back to their table Brooks stepped in front of her and gestured to the door that led out to the parking lot.
“I told you we’re done,” she said through clenched teeth.
“I want to talk to you.”
“Are you deaf?” Regan snapped. “We’re over!”
The flash of fury was so quick she wasn’t prepared when he grabbed her arm and dragged her outside. The door slammed shut behind them and cold wind whipped in her face. A fine sprinkling of snow drifted around them as Brooks dragged her to his truck and shoved her into the passenger seat. She shrieked when he pulled the lever that reclined the seat back, laying her nearly flat. Brooks climbed on top of her and slammed the door shut.
“What the hell are you doing?” Regan shouted.
Half of his windshield was covered in snow but there was enough illumination from the outside gym lights to see his face which was set in determined lines. He unbuttoned his coat and shrugged it off as he maneuvered until they were on their
sides facing each other. He draped his coat over both of them.
“What do you want?” she snarled.
“I want you.”
“You can’t have me.”
She struggled to get over him to the door but he turned on his back so she straddled him and reached over with his long arm and pressed a button on the driver’s side. She yanked at the door with no results as he raised the back of the chair so he was in a normal sitting position.
“Child safety locks,” he explained with a smile.
“What do you want to say to me? I want to get back to my family.”
He sobered. “I’m sorry you saw that.”
He didn’t need to elaborate.
“Whatever. What else?”
“Allison was-”
“I don’t want to hear about you two!” she shouted and tried to crawl over the console to the driver’s side.
He wrapped his arms around her and short of a full on fight, she wasn’t going anywhere. “My marriage to Allison was-”
“I don’t want to hear this!”
“Horrible.”
“What?”
“She married me because Grady broke it off with her when he was doing well in professional football. He started dating other women and Allison and I became good friends. We wanted the same things in life so we got married even though we weren’t in love.”
“You expect that to make me feel better?” Regan said quietly.
He sighed. “No. That’s why I don’t talk about my marriage. It was wrong all around. For us to marry when we were stuck on someone else…”
“You’re still close to her.” Regan couldn’t stop the accusatory tone.
He nodded. “We went through our own personal hell together. She cried a lot and I worked a lot of overtime. It took us a long time to call it quits because we didn’t want to hurt each other.”
Did he want her to feel guilty for marrying Allison? She wanted to forget the day she watched him and Allison say their “I do’s” and she definitely wanted to forget that she ever told Brooks that she came back, hoping he would still be waiting for her. She knew life moved on. The day of Brooks’ wedding was the day that Regan realized she had to look forward, never back at her past and she hadn’t.