by Perry, J L
“I’m sure you’ll do fine.”
“I’m not sure about that. I miss you already and you haven’t even left yet.” His comment makes me smile. I know how he feels, because I’m going to miss him like you wouldn’t believe.
••••
Uni flies by fast, and before you know it Chase is driving me to the airport. I haven’t told my mum I’m coming. I want to surprise her. I’m worried how things are going to pan out with my dad, but I need to see him. I miss him.
After Chase parks the car, he carries my bags into the airport and over to the check-in counter. I have a severe case of butterflies. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m leaving Chase, or because of what I have to face when I arrive in Sydney.
Once the bags are checked in, Chase walks me towards the security checkpoint. The grip he has on my hand is pretty tight. I wonder what’s going through his mind. “Are you okay?” I ask.
“Huh,” he replies as I pull him out of his thoughts. “I’m fine. I’m just going to miss you, that’s all.”
“Are you sure that’s all it is?”
“Of course,” he says as he pulls me into his arms.
“You’d tell me if something was worrying you?” I stroke my hand down the side of his face. He’s so quiet it’s starting to worry me. He lowers his head and doesn’t answer me. “Chase.” All my past insecurities about us come rushing to the surface. “Hey,” I say as I lift his head so I can look in his eyes. “Talk to me.”
“You won’t decide you no longer want to be with me while you’re gone will you?”
“What? Of course not,” I assure him. “Why would you think that?” He shrugs.
“I’m just worried your dad might convince you that you’re too good for me. We both know it’s true.”
“You’re kidding right?” I ask in disbelief. “I love you, Chase. Nothing anyone says will change that. Please believe me.” I’ve never seen this insecure side of him. He’s always so cool, calm and confident. Right now though, he looks like a frightened little boy. “I love you, Chase,” I say more forcefully this time. “Come with me if you’re so worried. I’ll buy you a ticket right now if you like.” I pull away from him as I turn to walk towards the ticket counter.
“Don’t be silly,” he says as he pulls me back against him. “You need this time with your family.”
“Please don’t let me leave here worried about us. I have enough to face when I get back to Sydney. I’ll be back the day after tomorrow. Tell me nothing’s going to change between us while I’m gone.”
“I don’t want things to change between us,” he says cupping my face in his hands. “The past few weeks I’ve spent with you have been the happiest of my life. I…I…ummm…”
“What, Chase?”
“I’m in love with you, sweet-cheeks.”
“You love me?” A huge smile spreads across my face.
“Yes.” A shy, boyish smile appears on his. “I love you, Angel Cavanagh,” he says with more confidence.
“I love you too, Chase Daniel’s. With all my heart.” I throw my arms around him. “Nothing’s ever going to change that. It’s only you. It will only ever be you,” I assure him as I tighten my grip.
We stand holding each other. I can’t tell you how happy I am that he has finally told me how he really feels.
“I really should get going. My flight is going to be boarding soon.”
“Okay,” he says as he brushes his lips against mine. “I miss you already.”
“I’ll be back before you know it,” I tell him. He pulls me against him as his lips meet mine. The kiss is sweet, passionate and hot as hell. Too hot for a kiss in the middle of the airport, but I don’t care.
“Don’t forget me while you’re gone.”
“Impossible,” I tell him as I brush my lips against his again. “I love you. Never forget it.”
He cups my face again and pulls me in for one last kiss. “I love you too,” he says against my mouth. “Call me when you get there and let me know you’re safe.”
“I will.”
••••
When I land in Sydney, the first thing I do is call Chase. I’m still floating from his confession at the airport. He loves me. I can’t believe he loves me.
I catch a cab straight to the studio. Even though the concert isn’t until tomorrow night, I know my mum will be there, doing all the last minute preparations.
“Angel,” she squeals when I walk through the door. “You came.” She wraps me in her loving arms. “I’m so happy you’re here, baby.”
“I couldn’t miss your big night,” I tell her.
“Let me look at you,” she says pulling back from me. “Awww, my baby girl is in love. It’s written all over your face.”
“I am, mum,” I confess. “I’m so happy.”
“I can see that,” she says pulling me back into an embrace.
“How’s daddy?”
“He’s been walking around like someone kicked his puppy all week,” she laughs. “He’s going to be so happy to see you. He’s in the studio setting up the chairs with your brother. Why don’t you go and say hello?”
“Okay.” I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I guess because things have never been so tense between us.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” she says again before letting me go. “Go put your father out of his misery.”
I hesitantly make my way towards the studio doors. The first person I see is my dad. He looks lost in thought, and kind of sad. I’m hurting just looking at him. I hate fighting with him.
I just stand watching him. I’m hesitant about seeing him. I’m not sure how he’s going to react. The way he treated Chase was completely uncalled for. I’ve never seen my dad so ruthless before. It’s a side of him I hope to never see again.
Suddenly he looks up. It’s like he senses me standing in the room. We stare at each other for a few seconds before he puts down the chair he’s holding and comes over to me. I don’t move. I can’t. My feet are planted to the floor. I can’t tell by the intense look on his face whether he’s happy to see me or not.
Please be happy to see me daddy, I miss you!
Once he’s a few feet away, I can see the tears glisten in his eyes. It makes mine come too. He smiles at me and relief floods through my body.
“You came,” he breathes.
“Yes. I’ve missed you, Daddy.”
“Princess,” he says as he quickly closes the distance between us and wraps me in his arms. “I’ve missed you too. You have no idea how much. Knowing you’ve been angry with me all week has been hell.” He steps back and looks down at me. “Please tell me you forgive me. I hate how you’re not talking to me.”
“I’m still upset about the way you treated Chase, Daddy, but I can’t stand not talking to you either.” I have to be honest with him. He needs to know what he did was wrong.
“I’m sorry, truly I am. I’ll admit I was out of line.”
“Yes you were.” I wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest, breathing in his familiar scent. “I want things between us to be the way they were, but I love Chase. You need to accept that.” He exhales.
“I’ll try.”
“Thank you.” I’ll try was not the answer I was looking for, but it’s a start.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” he says tightening his embrace.
“I am too.”
“How long are you staying for?”
“I’m flying out Sunday afternoon.”
“That’s good. I have my baby girl for two whole days. Not as long as I’d like, but I’ll take whatever I can get.”
••••
It’s late by the time we get back to the house. I have a quick shower before climbing into bed. I always love coming home to my old room, but not tonight. Tonight I want to be in bed with Chase, not a thousand kilometres away from him.
I look over at the clock on my bedside table. It’s just after midnight. Too late to call him, I s
end a quick text, just in case he’s still awake.
Missing you. Just climbed into bed. Wish you were here beside me. xxx
I no sooner put my phone on my bedside table and it vibrates with his response.
I’m lying in bed missing and thinking about you too. I’d give anything to be beside you right now.
His reply brings a smile to my face. I’m halfway through writing another message, when my phone rings.
“Hey,” I say when I answer it.
“Hey, beautiful. I hope you don’t mind me calling, but I needed to hear your voice.”
“I’m glad you did. I miss you.”
“I miss you too. How did things go with your dad?”
“Good. We didn’t get to talk much about what happened. We were busy helping my mum set things up for her dance concert tomorrow night. I did tell him I’m in love with you though, and he needs to accept that.”
“You told him you’re in love with me?”
“Yes of course I did. It’s the truth.”
“I’m just surprised you’d tell him that. I bet he wasn’t impressed.”
“He was fine. I guess it’s just hard for him to let go of his little girl. You’ll probably be the same with your daughter when she’s older.”
“Nah. I don’t see kids in my future,” he says. I can’t stop the disappointment consume me when he says that.
“You don’t want kids?”
“Nope. Not with my fucked up genes.”
“There’s nothing wrong with your genes, Chase. You seem pretty perfect to me.”
“Well, you haven’t had the displeasure of meeting my mother. She’s a real piece of work.”
“Well you must take after your dad then. Pops is great.” He goes quiet on the other end of the line. “Chase, are you still there?”
“Yeah, I’m here. Can we change the subject?” he says in a frustrated tone. Boy, this conversation went south quick.
“Well it’s getting late. I probably should get some sleep anyway. I have a busy day tomorrow,” I tell him, tears burning my eyes.
“Okay. I’m sorry, sweet-cheeks.”
“Don’t be. Good night, Chase.”
“Night.” When I end the call, I can’t stop the tears from falling. I feel bad for ending the call so quickly, but I didn’t want to get upset on the phone. If he doesn’t want children, then that’s his choice.
We’ve only been together a few weeks. It’s not like we’re talking marriage or anything, but I would’ve hoped the future held something like that for us. No kids though? Being a mother is something I’ve always wanted.
A few minutes later my phone vibrates. It’s a text from Chase.
I love you, sweet-cheeks.
His message only make the tears come faster as I clutch the phone to my chest. I love him too, so much. When I think back to the insecure Chase I saw at the airport, I feel bad. He’s probably worried about us, after I ended the call so abruptly. I reply to his message, hoping to ease his mind.
I love you too. x
I guess I’ll just worry about the no-kids thing, if and when I have too. It’s not like I have plans of becoming a mother in the near future. I haven’t been going to university for the past four years for the fun of it. I want a career first before children cross my mind.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Chase
I feel like shit when I wake the next morning. I barely slept after getting off the phone with Angel. I can’t help but think my revelation has changed things between us. She just seemed quite cold after that; not the loving, bubbly girl I’m used to.
I know I should’ve told her Pops wasn’t my real father when the opportunity arose, but I couldn’t. She definitely isn’t the judgemental type, but it didn’t stop me from worrying she’d think less of me if she knew just how fucked up my past really is. I know I’m batting far above my weight with her already. She’s totally out of my league.
I’ve picked up my phone at least ten times to call her. I desperately want to hear her voice and know we’re okay, but I’m scared. I hate how insecure this whole thing makes me feel.
“What’s up your arse?” Pops asks when I walk into the kitchen. “Your face is practically draggin’ on the floor.”
“Piss off,” I respond and he laughs.
“Missin’ sweet-thing, I gatha.” I shrug. It’s not like I can tell him what I’m really feeling. He wouldn’t understand. “When’s she comin’ home then?”
“Tomorrow afternoon.”
“Well I got plenty of stuff you can help me with in the garage today. Might help the time go quicka.”
“Sure,” I tell him as I pour my coffee and sit at the table with him. My phone buzzes in my pocket, so I pull it out.
Morning handsome. I’m on my way to the studio with my parents to do a few last minute things before the concert tonight. I’ll call you when I get back home. Missing you. Luv Angel. xxx
My mood instantly picks up once I read her message. I quickly type my reply.
Morning beautiful. Missing you too. I look forward to your call. x
I want to tell her I love her again, but I don’t want to overdo it. I’m still getting used to the whole I love you thing, but fuck me if I don’t love her.
“Well will ya look at that,” Pops says with a chuckle. I look up from my phone, puzzled by what he just said.
“What? Look at what?”
“A message from the little lady and ya smilin’ like a lovesick pussy. Fuck ya got it bad boy.”
“Fuck off, old man,” I snap and he bursts out laughing.
“Just messin’ with ya, boy. I’m glad she makes you happy. You deserve a good girl like her.” We’ve always joked around like this with each other. I’m still not convinced I deserve her, but he’s right about one thing, she does make me fucking happy.
After breakfast I decide to go for a run before helping Pops. Instead of going to the track, I end up at the beach. Angel’s beach. Don’t ask me why I came here. I guess to feel closer to her. Never in my life did I think I’d become so needy.
What has she done to me?
“Fuck,” I mumble under my breath as I rub my hands over my face in frustration. We’ve only been apart a day. I need to get my fucking shit together.
••••
I wait all day for her to call. As the minutes tick by my anxiety grows. What the fuck is wrong with me? It’s after 4:00 p.m. before I finally hear from her. I’m relieved and ticked it’s taken her so long.
“Hey,” I say when I answer the phone.
“Hi. I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to call. Things were flat out at the studio. Then daddy took us out for lunch. On the way home we called in to see my grandparents—”
“It’s okay,” I tell her, cutting her off. “You don’t need to explain. You’re calling now, that’s all that matters.” I forget she doesn’t get to see much of her family, considering she’s living down here in Melbourne. I feel bad for getting annoyed now.
“I miss you,” she says sweetly and that’s all it takes to have me smiling like a lovesick fool again.
“I miss you too.”
“You’ve been on my mind all day,” she confesses. “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Do you want to come over when I get home?”
“You don’t want me to pick you up from the airport?” I ask, slightly disappointed.
“Well I’d like that, but I don’t want to put you out.”
“It’s not putting me out. Isn’t that a boyfriend task?” I chuckle. “Besides, I still have your car. Picking you up also means I get to see you sooner.”
“All settled then. I’ll text you all my flight details when I get off the phone. Have your lips ready because I’m going to attack your face as soon as I see you.” Her comment makes me laugh.
“I’ll definitely be looking forward to it. I hope it’s not the only thing you’re going to attack though.”
“Oh, that will have to wait until I get you home. I don’t wa
nt to get arrested for doing something inappropriate at the airport,” she chuckles.
“Damn, I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”
“Don’t tell me that, it’s making me want you even more. I guess I’m going to have to suffer until tomorrow, since you stole my toy and have forbid me from touching myself,” she admits.
“God,” I groan. “You’re killing me here. Hold on, I’m going to go up into the house and have a quick shower. I’ll call you back in a few minutes. Where are you?”
“I’m in my bedroom,” she answers.
“Okay. Don’t move. I’m going to call you back on video chat. I need to see your pretty face.”
••••
Angel
I answer the phone as soon as he calls. A smile graces my face as soon as I see him. “Hey, there’s my beautiful girl,” he says as he runs his finger down the screen, smiling.
I tell you if I could climb through this phone right now I would. “God I miss you.” His hair is still wet from the shower. I wish I could smell him. I guess that sounds weird, but I love the scent of his cologne, of him.
“I miss you too. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Never thought I’d be wishing the weekend away,” he laughs.
“What did you get up to today?” I ask as I roll over on my stomach and get comfortable.
“Just went for a run, then helped Pops out in the garage.”
“Awww, I missed seeing you get all greasy and sexy. Damn.” He laughs at my comment. “I like being able to see you. I didn’t think to video chat when I called you before.”
“I love it too, but it only makes my need to touch you even more intense,” he confesses.
“I wish you could touch me,” I admit. “I need you.”
“I need you too, sweet-cheeks.”
“Can we have phone sex?” I can’t believe I’m even asking, but we’ve done everything else, in every position you can imagine. He even overheard me masturbating in the shower. So, I’m thinking, nothing could be more embarrassing than that.