The Dossier Series Boxed Set

by Cathryn Fox

  The guy puffs out his steroid-enhanced chest and glares at me. “She’s afraid, so she’s coming with me so I can protect her.”

  I seriously know I’m acting like a jerk. If I don’t cool it, I’m going to scare her off. I need to take things slow, let her get used to the idea of being mine long term before I go acting all fucking caveman with her.

  Long term?

  Where the hell had that thought come from?

  I’m not sure, but now that it’s out there, fuck yeah, I want a long term with her.

  “Oh, I’m pretty sure she’s not. If my fiancée needs anything, I’ll be the one to give it to her.”

  Reese, my fiancée?

  Damned if I don’t like the sound of that. Yeah, I might come from a long line of bastards that could never commit, who always ended up hurting the women in my family, but fuck family heritage. I’m a better man than that, and this is Reese—I’d never, ever do anything to hurt her. She comes first and foremost, always has, and that’s never going to change.

  Two sets of eyes zero in on me. I steal a quick glance at Reese, giving her a minute to think on that, to get used to the idea. Mouth-breather narrows his brow, doing his best imitation of the missing link as he tries to sort that one through. His gaze goes from Reese’s empty finger to me.

  “Your fiancée?”

  “That’s right,” I say, and hold Reese tighter. She sags into me and puts her hand on my chest.

  The guy stares at me for a minute. I’m pretty sure he’s debating whether to call me out on my lie. Maybe even punching me in the face from a steroid-induced rage. What-the-fuck-ever. He might be a big bastard, but I can hold my own.

  “Not worth it,” the guy says, and stomps off to follow the crowd.

  Reese angles her head, and when I glance at her, she doesn’t seem too pleased with me.

  “What did you do that for?”

  “That guy was all wrong for you,” I say as she pushes away from me.

  “No kidding.” She shakes her head and looks at the sky. I follow her gaze to see the sun disappear behind a bank of dark clouds. Shit. I hope to God we don’t have a storm. They always bring back painful memories for Reese, and I want her to have only great memories from this trip. “Why am I such a jerk magnet, Cole?” She rubs her forehead. “Do I have a sign on me or something?”

  I frown and give her hand a reassuring squeeze. “I’m sorry Jared hurt you. But not all guys are douchebags.”

  She laughs and jerks her thumb toward the guy stomping away, the ground practically rumbling beneath his feet. “You’re going to tell me that after Mr. Steroid pretty much told me I was a wild thing he wanted to tame?”

  I rub my knuckles along her arm. “Reese,” I say, and pitch my voice low. “There are good guys out there.”

  She snorts and turns toward the group walking toward the cheetah pen. “When you find one, let me know.”

  I push my hair from my forehead, and it takes all I have not to blurt out how I feel. But I’m too fucking worried I might ruin things between us. “I’m not a bad guy, you know.”

  She stops and looks at me, a deep sadness on her face. “I know, Cole. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say you were.” She goes quiet and looks down at her feet. I step up to her, touch her chin, and angle it until she’s looking at me.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Why did you come on this trip with me?”

  “You needed me.”

  She nods and gives me a smile, but I can tell it’s forced. Then she lightly punches me on the arm. “I can take care of myself, whether you and the girls think so or not.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  She gives a deep sigh. “I get it. Whoever sponsored this trip thought I couldn’t do it without you. I can, Cole. I’m quite capable of taking care of myself. I don’t need you here.” She folds her arms the way she always does when she’s serious about something. “I don’t think we should sleep with each other anymore.”

  Fuck no. What is going on?

  I reach for her, but she steps back. “Reese—”

  “Also, when this trip is over, you need to go back to Colorado. You don’t need to stay in New York any longer.”

  I stand there staring at her, feeling like she just punched through my chest and tore out my heart. “Reese,” I say and reach for her. “I just…I…”

  She takes another step back, putting more distance between us, physically and emotionally. “I know. I know. You just want to take care of me. But you can stop.”

  Love you.

  That’s what I was going to say, that I fucking love her.

  My fucking God, I love her. I always have.

  “You want me to go?” I ask instead, a pounding beginning at the base of my neck and racing through my skull.

  “Yes, and I really don’t want to talk about this anymore.” She pulls from me and walks away.

  I fist my hair as she retreats. What the fuck is going on? One minute we’re laughing and having fun, the next she’s telling me to go back to Colorado because it’s where I belong. She’s so wrong, on so many fucking levels. Where I belong is in New York with her. Yeah, I might be an adrenaline junkie, but a life with Reese is the adventure I want. She makes me a better man, better than any of the men in my family, and I’d spend a lifetime treasuring her. Yet now she doesn’t even want me in the same state as her anymore.

  Not only am I going to lose the woman I love, but I’m also going to lose my very best friend, all because I couldn’t keep my hands to myself.

  Stupid. Fucking. Asshole.

  Chapter Seven

  Reese

  With my stomach twisted into knots, I pace my room, hating how mean I was to Cole today. But God, I had to be. No way do I want him to give up his life because he thinks he has to take care of me, little old Reesey Piecey, who can’t function without him. I’d never try to change him, never want him to come to resent me for it like Jared did. And obviously, I was trying to change Jared to be more like Cole because I love him. I’ve always loved him. The truth is I can function without him. I just don’t want to.

  I wipe away a runaway tear and place my hand on my stomach as nausea grips me. I love Cole so freaking much, and even though he might never talk to me again, and the loss of our friendship will shatter me completely, I had to push him away for his own good. He came back because I needed him, not because he wanted me.

  You’re just friends, Reese.

  Friends who have really great sex, but friends nonetheless. And it’s time he went back to his life. When it comes right down to it, Cole hates working in construction with his uncle. He’s built for adventure, like hiking the Colorado Mountains, white water rafting in the rivers…back-bending orgasms.

  He was only having sex with me because my trip was supposed to be about finding a guy and sleeping with him. Yeah, sure, he seemed to enjoy it, too, but he’s always there to protect me, help me out, and give me what I need. That’s what the sex was all about, considering he only ever treated me as a buddy, one of the guys, before this trip.

  I hear a distant rumble and walk to my window to peek out the curtains. Rain pelts the glass, and a quiver moves through me. God, I hate storms. Not just because they’re loud and frightening, but also because when I was a kid, lightning struck my grandmother’s house and she fell down the stairs during the blackout while trying to get to me. Finding her lifeless body that night still haunts me. Another roar of thunder backs me away from the window, and old, painful memories resurface.

  Lightning brightens the sky, and I hurry to the bed and slide under the covers. I’m sitting there, counting the seconds between the light and thunder, when someone knocks on my door. I hug myself, hoping it’s Cole as much as I hope it’s not. I need to make a clean break from him, for both our sakes.

  “Who is it?”

  “It’s me.”

  Cole.

  “What’s up?” I ask, trying for casual, like I’m perfectly fine.

  A mome
nt of silence and then, “Open the door, Reese.”

  Yeah, okay, so trying to pretend anything with Cole is a waste of time. He can always see right through me. It does make me wonder, though. Will he see through what I’m doing, the reason I’m pushing him away? What would he do if he knew how I really felt? Hop on the next bus and run for cover?

  I sit there for a moment, toying with the blankets, but when the night sky lights up again, I jump from the bed and dash across the room. I pull the door open, and when I see the tender, caring way Cole is looking at me as he pulls me into his arms, my heart nearly breaks into a million tiny pieces. He guides me to my bed and doesn’t bother to ask if I’m okay. He knows I’m not. He pulls the blankets down.

  “Get in.”

  Dressed only in my thigh-high nightgown—sans panties—I slide in without a word, and Cole circles the bed. He tears off his jeans, and with only his boxer shorts on, crawls in next to me. He fixes the blankets around us and pulls me to him, spooning me from behind. His heat reaches out to me, his hands comforting as they hold me. My pulse crashes against my neck as I take comfort in his presence. It’s hard to believe that after the way I treated him, he’s here, holding me, soothing me, taking care of me. I don’t deserve this after the way I pushed him away, physically and emotionally.

  “Cole,” I begin, though I have no idea what it is I want to say.

  “It’s okay, Reese,” he says, and I wonder if he knows I’m trying to apologize for my behavior. “I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

  He strokes my hair, pushing it from my shoulder, and I can feel his breath hot on my neck. Lightning strikes again, and even though I know I’m safe with him, I stiffen and shimmy closer, desperate for a deeper connection, even though I know better. But that’s when I realize he’s stiff, too—between the legs.

  Oh, God, this is bad, so bad, but I can’t help it. I want him again. I want to feel him inside me just one more time. I close my eyes and fight an internal war between right and wrong, but that doesn’t stop my body from reacting to his.

  Maybe I should go for it. If he’s going back to Colorado, and I might never see him again, might have destroyed our friendship, maybe I should have this one last night with him. Farewell-sex between best friends.

  “Cole.”

  “Yeah.”

  Run away, Reese.

  “Remember when we were teens and you used to sneak into my room during storms.”

  “Uh huh.”

  Heartache be damned.

  “You used to play games with me. Get me talking about things to distract me.”

  “Do you want to play a game, Reese?” he asks, his voice so deep it curls though me and ignites every nerve in my body.

  “Yeah, I thought maybe we could do something to distract me.”

  He goes still. Too still, and my heart thunders. After today, he should push me away, tell me to go to hell. I inch away from him, expecting him to do just that, but when I turn to see him, and I catch the fire in his eyes, I take a quick breath. The man I know is funny and playful, and I’m sure I’ve never seen him look so intense before.

  Maybe this is a bad idea.

  I draw a shaky breath, and I’m about to say so when he pulls me underneath him. His lips come down on mine, and I moan as his tongue slides in. His kisses are slower and softer, a steady deepening that is different from before but every bit as profound. I tremble with the things I feel for him, the love that runs so deep.

  He pulls back and touches my hair. “Did that work?” he asks.

  “Yes,” I whisper with effort.

  His gaze moves over mine. “So, kissing works as a distraction?”

  I try to speak but can only nod as my voice catches in my throat.

  He runs his fingers along my neck, a soft tickle, and I quiver beneath his intimate touch. “If I kissed you here, do you think that would that work, too?”

  “Yes,” I croak. “I’m pretty sure.”

  His lips go to my neck, warm, soft, and so achingly tender I could die. He brushes his wet mouth over my flesh and shimmies lower. His hands slide gently down my body and grip the hem of my nightie. His hot breath warms me as he pulls up the slip of material. He doesn’t need to ask me to sit up. I know instinctively what he wants, just like he always knows what I need. I lift, and he pulls the silk over my head, exposing me completely.

  His gaze moves over my body, and he briefly pinches his eyes shut like he’s in total freaking agony. My pulse speeds up.

  “Cole?” I ask and reach for him. I know I’m being selfish, putting my current needs before Cole’s, but I’m not about to continue with this if it’s something he doesn’t want to do.

  “What about here, Reese?” he asks, running his thumb over my nipple. “If I kissed you here would it help?”

  My brain shuts down as he caresses me. “Yes, please.”

  He grins at that and flattens his tongue over my tight nipple. The soft lick sends me flying to the moon, and I arch into him. I touch his shoulders, run my fingers over his hard muscles, and his body ripples under my touch.

  I widen my legs, opening for him, welcoming him to my body. He takes a gulping breath and kisses a path to my sex, languidly running the soft blade of his tongue over my belly. He settles himself between my legs and pets my sex. I nearly purr.

  “You think if I kiss you here it will help?”

  “I think it will really help,” I say.

  He gives me a soft lick and widens my lips with the tip of his tongue. Heat flashes through me, making me dizzy. With a tongue that is hot and slick, he licks and sucks and pleasures me until I’m shaking all over. As my climax builds, I tighten under his caress, and he traces the length of my sex with his tongue before inserting a finger. Good God, he is such a generous lover, taking his time with me, but I ache to feel his hard flesh inside me. Honest to God, I have no idea how I’ll ever be with another man after him.

  His hard length presses against my leg, and I moan, desperate for more. His finger delves deeper, taking me higher, gifting me with a pleasure so intense it’s almost painful.

  I touch my breasts, and he slides one hand up my belly and closes his big palm over mine, and together we knead gently. I whimper and toss my head from side to side, as my clit throbs under his tongue.

  “You want my cock in here?” he asks, moving his finger in and out of my slick core.

  “Yes,” I moan.

  His fingers press deeper, harder, increasing the tension until I can no longer hold on. “Just like that,” I cry out.

  “Come for me, Reese. Show me how much you want my cock.”

  He pushes another finger in, and I shatter beneath his touch. As my pleasure spikes, the entire world closes in on me, and the flashes before my eyes have nothing to do with the storm raging outside.

  He stays between my legs until I stop clenching, then his fingers and mouth abandon my sex, and he climbs up my body. I stroke his back and tremble with anticipation. I shift until his cock is right there. All I need is for him to piston forward and enter me.

  “Shit,” he says. “We can’t do this.” My heart crashes. Oh, God, he doesn’t want this. I take a quick second to berate myself. I never, ever should have initiated this, tonight or the first time in the cave. I’m about to scramble away when he says. “I’m out of condoms.”

  When I can breathe again, I say, “It’s okay. I don’t want to use one, anyway.”

  His gaze moves over my face, the tenderness in his eyes touching me more deeply than anything before. “Reese?”

  I touch his cheek and he leans into my hand. “I want to feel you, Cole. I’m clean.”

  “I’m clean, too. I’ve never had sex without protection.” He shakes his head and his hair falls into his eyes. “But you went off the pill. To give your body a break, remember?”

  “How do you…” I begin and then stop and shake my head. This is Cole, and he seems to know everything about me. “I know where I am in my cycle and my chances of getting pregnant
are low.”

  He cups the side of my head and drops a soft kiss onto my mouth. “If it’s what you really want.” Another soft kiss. And another.

  “Only if you do.”

  He peppers more tender kisses over my face and whispers, “Yeah, I do.”

  He positions himself at my opening and closes his mouth over mine as he slowly rubs his cock over my sex. I arch into him.

  “More,” I whisper, his hard erection teasing my clit. “Please. All of you.”

  He traces light circles over one nipple then drags a hand down my side to hold my hip. “Are you begging for my cock, Reese?”

  “Yes, I want it.” Forever. “I want you to push inside me.”

  “To distract you?” he asks.

  No, because I love you.

  “Yes,” I answer and keep my eyes shut so he can’t read me.

  He rocks into me, slowly and gently, and my soft sigh of pleasure fills the room. He sinks deep, and hot desire races through me. I move beneath him, my body tight and aching. He goes back on one elbow and his other hand spreads over my stomach, warming my skin, and filling me with erotic sensations. God, I love the familiar way he touches me, his tender lovemaking.

  Lovemaking?

  I never thought so before, but everything in his touch, in the way he looks at me, is so deeply caring that I can’t help but wonder.

  “This what you wanted, Reese?” he asks, his voice so deep I hardly recognize it. “To feel me like this? No barriers. Just you and me.”

  “Yes, it feels so good.”

  “Yeah, it fucking does.” With a heavy breath, he lowers his head and captures my nipple. I swallow against the pleasure. His muscles flex as he powers into me, and I’m so lost in him I say, “Cole, I love…”

  I pause, and my lids flash open as I catch myself.

  “What do you love?” he asks, his deep-blue eyes drilling into me, and for a minute I fear he can see right into my soul. Then again, this is Cole, so maybe he can.

  “I love this,” I say quickly to cover my near slip, but when I see something in his eyes, something I thought I spotted that day we were cage diving, my heart misses a beat. Is it possible that he feels more, too? Do I dare hope that what we’re doing here really is making love? Even if it is, though, how could we possibly make it work? We live on opposite sides of the country, and I’d never ask him to give up what he loves, or try to change him. Then again, I could move. Yeah, all my family and work are in New York. But Cole isn’t. Who’s to say he’d want me there, anyway? I pinch my eyes shut, my heart a confused mess.