Jonathon stared at her, feeling the full force of her anger and emotion, frozen in shock as his eyes drifted from her down to the stroller at her feet and the little girl, just over a year old, who was looking up at him with his own blue eyes, his mother’s blue eyes, and clapping happily at him as she waved her little hand at him and laughed.
He stared at the baby. She had soft dark brown curls of hair, the same color as his, and she had his eyes, but she had her mother’s skin and her mother’s beauty. She was unequivocally the most beautiful baby he had ever seen. She squealed at him and his heart began to thud heavily in his chest.
Jonathon slowly raised his eyes to meet Maggie’s eyes. “You must be kidding... I... this is my... this is our...?”
Maggie glared at him through narrowed eyes. “This is our daughter, you know, the one you didn’t want anything to do with?” She shook her head at him in disgust.
He looked at her in confusion. “What do you mean the one I didn’t want anything to do with? Maggie, why didn’t you ever tell me? Why have you kept this a secret from me?”
She clamped her mouth shut and gritted her teeth, her eyes wide on him for a moment and then she closed her eyes and breathed deeply as he moved toward her and watched her closely, looking down at their daughter every few moments.
“How dare you! I didn’t keep this a secret from you, Jonathon! I went to your ranch, I went to your parents and told them about her, and about us, and they kicked me out and told me that you didn’t ever want to see me again, and that you never wanted to see this baby! They said you wanted nothing to do with us and I believed them because I haven’t ever seen you since you left me in my bed! You’ve been gone two years and all of a sudden you just walk out of a restaurant here and now you’re standing here acting like you don’t know what’s going on? Are you serious?” She was livid. Her hands were clenched tightly around the handle of the stroller and she shook her head in deep anger at him, amazed at his gall.
Jonathon was floored. “What are you talking about? I left to go travel around the country like you said I ought to do, and I just got back yesterday! My parents have never said one word to me about you or about this baby! I didn’t even know that you were still in town or that this little girl even existed... that I had a... a daughter...” he said as tears stung his eyes and he looked down at her, shaking his head and slowly kneeling in front of her.
The baby watched him as he came down to her level and she reached for him, patting his cheek and babbling at him, telling him things in her own language. He reached out his hand and she closed her small fingers around one of his fingers, and his whole heart filled to overflowing with love, and broke at the same time. He knew in that instant that he was never going to be the same again.
He looked up at Maggie with tears in his eyes and shook his head. “I’m so sorry. I... I don’t know what to say to you. I didn’t know. They haven’t ever said a word about it to me. Not once.” His voice cracked as he stared into the sea green eyes that held him locked to her, and he saw a tidal wave of emotion in her eyes as well.
She shook her head. “They never told you?” she asked in disbelief.
“They said... they said that you didn’t want her, and that you wouldn’t talk to me... that you didn’t want anything to do with us.” She bit her lip as she watched him stand up and walk around the stroller to her. Her heart felt like it was going to explode right out of her chest as he reached her, his gaze steady on hers, and then he took her in his arms and held her tightly.
At first she didn’t want him to. She didn’t want him to touch her at all because she had such anger in her, such pain and confusion and agony that had built up over two years leading up to that very moment, but as his strong arms held her tightly to his chest against his heart, right where she had been when they had made their baby the last time he held her, she could not hold her anger in any longer, and she let it all go.
Tears spilled out of her eyes and she wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly, burying her face in his chest as emotion flowed out of her. He wept with her, and after a few minutes of release, they caught their breath and let each other go. She looked up at him and he smiled, almost laughing a little.
“It’s so incredible to see you again. You changed my life,” he told her, meaning the two year trip he’d taken.
“You changed mine too,” she said with a little laugh, meaning their daughter.
He raised his eyebrows and nodded. “I can see that.” He walked around the stroller again and kneeled down to see her close.
“What’s her name?” he asked, looking up at Maggie.
“I named her Carly. Carly Wilson-Tanner; so she has both of our last names. You weren’t there when she was born and there wasn’t anyone to ask, but I felt like she should carry your name as well. I thought it would be the only part of you that she ever had,” she said with a thin voice as she wiped her eyes dry.
He looked down at the baby girl who was grinning at him and smiled as wide as he ever had. “Carly...” he said happily and she brightened at hearing him speak her name.
He heard a polite little cough behind him and he turned suddenly and remembered that Janis was standing behind him.
Jonathon rose up and blinked, looking at her and feeling a sudden rush of pressure on himself. He took a step toward her, not quite knowing what to say as she watched him silently.
“Oh.... uh... Janis. I...” He looked back at Carly and Maggie and sighed, then turned back to his fiancée. “Janis, obviously there are some things that I need to take are of here. Things that I obviously didn’t... uh... didn’t know about at all. Why don’t I take you home and we can talk about it there?” Then he turned back to Maggie and looked at her earnestly.
“You and I have a lot to talk about. When would it be okay to come over to your place and talk with you and visit Carly?” he asked gently.
She shook her head slowly and gave a half-laugh. “I didn’t think that I’d ever hear those words from you. Ever.” She wiped one last tear away and then sighed and shrugged. “I’m in the same place, if you remember where it is.” She looked at him a little shyly, remembering that night they were together two years before.
He grinned at her. “I remember exactly where it is.”
She felt her cheeks get warm. “Okay, well, we’ll be there all night tonight, and then tomorrow I’m at work until about four in the afternoon.”
Jonathon held his hand up to her. “I want to see you today. I have to get this worked out with you. I can’t believe I’m so far behind on it. I’ll come over in a couple of hours. Will that be all right?” he asked hopefully.
She nodded. “Yes, that will be fine,” she said, nodding her head and finally giving him a real smile. Carly squealed happily and he reached down and held her little hand for a moment, and then brushed his fingers over her soft dark brown curls.
Jonathon stood up and nodded to her. “I’ll see you in a while then.” He gave her a wave and a lingering gaze, and then turned back to Janis who was looking none too pleased with him. He placed his hand on her back and walked with her to his car.
***
Maggie watched him go and stood staring after him. She couldn’t believe it. After two years of complete silence and of facing her biggest life change alone, he was there. He was there out of the blue in front of her, right in her path, with no idea that she had gone through anything that she had gone through, that she had had their baby on her own without him, and that his parents had lied to him and not told him that he had a child. There he was, and the moment that he found out that Carly existed and that Maggie had gone through everything that she had on her own, he wanted to be there for her, to talk with her about it and see his child. He wanted to know about it. He was coming to visit her at last, and to discuss their baby.
It was astounding to her, and it was all she could do just to walk home and try to sort through the myriad of emotions that were twisting through her. Things were about to chang
e, and though it was long past time for it to happen, it was still hard to believe that it was happening.
***
Jonathon put Janis in the car and climbed in with her to drive her home.
He had no idea where to begin with her. “Janis, I know this must come as an unthinkable shock to you; it’s a big surprise for me, too. I’m so sorry. I had no idea at all that... that I was a father, or I’d have been back here right away; in fact, we probably wouldn’t have met at all,” he said, shaking his head in wonder.
He looked at her and saw that she was staring straight ahead and not talking at all.
He sighed. “Okay. You’re upset; I can understand that. I can absolutely understand that. I’ll give you some time to think about it, and you and I can talk about it when I get back from my visit with her. I’m going to be talking to my parents as well, but they’re gone this afternoon. I’ll have to wait until tonight when I get back to the house.”
She still said nothing. He drove her all the way back to the house in silence and dropped her off with a kiss on her cheek before she turned and walked away from him.
He called his mother while he was still at the ranch and got her voicemail. “Mom, I need to talk with you and Dad tonight. There are some serious things to discuss. Please come home soon and wait for me. I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he said, trying to mask the bitterness in his voice.
He hung up and looked out over the vast valley in front of him and the enormous Teton Mountains. He had a child. A daughter. The thought of her made his heart swell, and he couldn’t wrap his mind around the reality of it, even though he had seen her. She was beautiful; and he knew she had his heart wrapped around her tiny little finger.
Then there was her mother. Maggie was just as stunning as ever, and he was amazed that she had gone through all that she had on her own and was still making it work; making her life and the life of their daughter happen with no help from him or his parents.
She had taken his breath away, standing there in the sun, and when he held her, wrapping his arms around her on the sidewalk, everything from the night they had shared had come back to him and he had felt it all again. Every bit of it; the heat, the electricity between them, her soft skin and sweet lavender smelling hair. The light in her sea green eyes. It had been like a whiplash for him to see her again; thinking everything in his life was fine and going one way, and then in a single instant, everything in his life was going another way.
He had no idea how he was going to handle the sudden shift in his life, but he knew without a doubt that his daughter was going to be part of his life no matter what. He had always wanted children, and he had always planned on having them, but he’d never guessed that it would happen the way that it had.
Jonathon couldn’t even begin to think about why his parents hadn’t told him about his child, but he would think about that later, and focus on talking to Maggie before anyone else. He got into his car, sending a last look at the window of the room where Janis was staying, and then he drove back into town to talk with the mother of his daughter.
***
A short while later, he was standing at her front door with a huge bouquet of flowers in his hand and his heart on his sleeve as he knocked on her door.
Maggie heard the knock and was sure that her heart was about to beat right out of her chest. She looked at her daughter who was playing in the living room, and who, when she heard the knock on the door, looked up at her mother and clapped her hands, toddling toward the door to wait to see who was there.
Maggie stood behind her with her hand on her daughter’s shoulder as she opened the door and looked up to see Jonathon there. He smiled at her and she felt everything in her rush. She smiled back and picked Carly up to hold her while he came inside.
He held the flowers out to her and in return, she smiled at him and asked, “Would you like to hold her? I’m not sure if she’ll let you, she can be a little shy—” Maggie stopped there. Carly had reached her arms out to him, and Jonathon’s eyes lit up and he grinned.
“Is it all right? I’d love to hold her!” he said, reaching for her. She laughed her baby laugh at him and then snuggled in to his neck, wrapping her arms around him as far as she could.
All Jonathon could do was breathe her scent in and close his eyes as his skin touched hers and he held her in his arms for the first time. It was the single most important moment of his life to that point. He held her in silence for a moment, his hands canvassing her entire back; she was so small. He could feel her little heart beating in her and he couldn’t breathe. All he wanted to do was hold his precious baby girl in his arms and somehow hold the moment and make it last forever, but she wiggled and moved, she planted her hands on his cheeks and he opened his blue eyes and looked into hers that were a perfect match of his.
He grinned at her. “Hello, Carly!” he said with a light, happy voice. “You are such a beautiful girl! Yes you are. What a sweet girl you are,” he told her, bouncing her slightly.
Jonathon played with her for a few minutes in his arms and then set her on the floor as she seemed to want, wiggling to get down from him, and as soon as she was on the floor, she walked over to one of her toys and took it to him as he sat down on the sofa, watching her. She went for another toy and brought it to him, handing it to him, and then as he took it, she went off for another.
Maggie laughed a little. “She’s learning about sharing,” she said. “I think she’s got it down, but she tends to go a little overboard on it.”
She walked over and sat near him on the sofa, watching him with his daughter. It made her heart swell to see the two of them interacting as they were, especially having thought that it was never going to happen.
Carly got distracted with her toys, sitting down to play with them, and Jonathon set the armload she had brought him down near her on the floor where she was busying herself with her wooden blocks and plastic shapes.
He looked at Maggie and shook his head. “Tell me what happened!” he said quietly. “I mean, I know what happened the night we were together, I’m never going to forget that, but what happened after that?”
Maggie sighed and leaned forward, resting her arms on her knees as she spoke to him.
“I woke up and you were gone. I didn’t really think much of it, although, I did think I would hear from you after that. A few days went by, then a week, and then two weeks, and then I realized I wasn’t going to hear from you. I was okay with it. We had a great time, as you said in your note.” She smiled to herself.
“Then a month went by and I didn’t feel so good, and then two months went by and I knew something was up, so I went to the doctor. It was the end of my time here, or at least it was going to be, but then the doctor told me that I was two months pregnant, and I was just... shocked. I mean, I had no idea what to do. I came back here and cried for a couple of days, but then I knew I had to pull myself together and figure out what to do.”
He watched her quietly and she seemed to be staring off into the past, her eyes not focused on anything in front of her as she remembered all of it and went back to it in her mind.
“I was supposed to leave at the end of August to go back to school in California, but I knew I wanted to keep the baby; for me there was really no choice in that aspect, and I knew that if I kept the baby, there was no way that I could go to school, and work, and try to do all of it while I was pregnant and alone, and then try to raise a baby by myself. I don’t have anyone; my parents are both much older and they’re in a retirement home. I thought I would go to you and tell you. I thought we could try to work something out together. I found out where your parents’ ranch was and I went there, and tried to ask for you, but they said you were gone. They said you’d been gone a couple of months. I told them that I needed to speak with you, that it was urgent, and they said they didn’t know when they would be hearing from you again, and that they could give you a message for me, but they wouldn’t give me your contact information. I decided to tell th
em what was going on, and I told them that I was pregnant and we were going to have a baby. They didn’t say anything at all, other than that they would tell you.”
She shook her head in disappointment. “I waited a couple of weeks, right before I had to make a final decision on my move; you know, whether I would stay here in Jackson and get a job or go back to school in California like I wanted to. I went back to your parents’ place and told them I had to see you or at least talk to you. They said they had told you that I was pregnant and that you wanted nothing to do with me or with the baby. They said to leave and not come back; that you wouldn’t be back for a long time and that you would never want to see me again. It was the worst. I was devastated! I left there and came back here to the house. I tried to figure out a way to make school work, but I just couldn’t, so I had no other choice but to give up my last semester of school and stay here to work. I got a job with the Bureau of Land Management and I’ve been working there ever since. I was able to get some insurance, so that helped with medical costs, but everything else has been really hard, and my entire life was put on hold while I figured out what to do.”
Jonathon listened to her speaking and he could see it all as it happened, except the part with his parents. He was amazed that they would be that way with her and that they would lie to her about him and tell her that he wasn’t interested in her or the baby.
Maggie continued, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh. “I started working and I was able to save up a little money before she came, and then when I went in to labor I had her on my own at the hospital, and then came home with her. I was able to take a little time off of work to be with her, but then when my maternity leave was up, I had to go back to work and she started to go to daycare. In all that time I never saw you again, and I never thought that I would hear from you again. I just kept raising her and trying to figure out how to get back to school to finish, but it’s just too much for me to do on my own.”
The Cowboy's Secret Baby: A BWWM Pregnancy Romance Page 3