by Naomi Niles
“Such as?”
“Blake is here.”
“Well, it took him long enough. You’ve got yourself one hell of a man there, Meli. I’m not even sure you deserve him.”
“That sounds a little bit jealous,” I said with some suspicion in my voice.
“Just maybe it is,” she shot back at me. I could hear her inhale her cigarette and knew that meant she was nervous. That was typical of Jill. She always cussed and was confrontational when she wasn’t sure herself.
“Well, there’s more.”
“I can hardly wait,” came her verbal sneer.
“Well, if you’re going to be a bitch about this, then I’ll just keep it to myself.” I was getting a little pissed at her attitude.
“Settle down, Sis,” she said with a sigh. “I don’t think it’s unreasonable that I not be overjoyed with your phone call. It only took you almost two years to call me. I thought we were tighter than that.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I had my reasons. You see, there’s someone here besides Blake. His name is Kirk. He is three and a half years-old and he is my son. Blake is his father.”
“Holy shit! You mean to tell me you’ve got a kid?” Her voice held utter disbelief.
“Yes. He was the gift of one night I spent with Blake before I left.”
“That’s why you left, wasn’t it? You fell for him when you didn’t want to. You told yourself you weren’t good enough, didn’t you?”
“You know me pretty well.”
I could hear her laugh at the other end of the line. “Who else could know you better?”
“You have a valid point. Well, anyway there’s a little more to tell you.”
“What in the hell else could there be?” She was feeling off balance again; I could tell by her speech pattern.
“When I left Dallas, I found myself a job in a little café in a tiny town in Louisiana. The owner took me under her wing, her name was Maudie. She died about a year after that and she left me her café, a house in Baton Rouge, and some money. I haven’t said anything about it because I wasn’t sure if I would need it for Kirk. I knew you would be okay; I knew that Blake would look after you.”
“Oh, you did, did you? Did you ever wonder just how he might look after me?” she asked, her voice ripe with jealousy. “Did it ever occur to you he might get tired of waiting for you?” she asked me.
I knew she was trying to push my buttons. I wouldn’t have blamed Blake if he had gone with Jill. I hadn’t left him many options. But I knew Blake well enough to know that if he had been with Jill, he wouldn’t have come looking for me in Baton Rouge. I let her have her mystery. It seemed to be all that she had at the moment, and she needed something badly. “Well, anyway, Blake and I are going to talk all this out. He wants me to come back with him and to bring Kirk. I hope you will still be there if I decide to come back. I would like us all to be a family.”
“I’m quite sure you would,” she said just before the line went dead.
I was quite surprised at Jill’s reaction. I had expected her to pounce on the idea that I had money; that had always been the driving force behind her. In that way, she was like my mother. She could be bought for relatively little. It seemed, however, that she had set her sights a bit higher this time.
I could hear in her voice that she had fallen in love with Blake. I didn’t blame her. I had, too. I had no idea what lay ahead of us down the road. I had to consider whether to even let Blake know this, unless he already did. Perhaps that’s why he finally came looking for me. It was bound to be a long conversation that night. I went upstairs to take a bath before I went shopping for the food supplies. As I climbed out of the bathtub, I changed my mind. I had other plans for dinner.
Chapter 18
Blake
I sat on the edge of the bed in the motel room, the bags with gaily wrapped packages surrounding me. I had a ball at the toy store. It was the first time I had been set loose in a toy store with unlimited money in my entire life. My arms had raked the boxes into the cart, all the while knowing that Silver would not be pleased if I brought too much. She would have to get used to the idea. I could afford to bring my son gifts, and I could afford her. Yes, she would have to get used to that idea.
I watched the clock with excited anticipation. I wanted to show up early, to sort of take control out of her hands. But Silver was big on control, and I knew there were some places I was just going to have to give in to her. I could do that. At ten minutes until four I left the motel, the bags clutched beneath my arms. I pulled into her driveway and went up to the door, knocking and then opening the door a few inches to call out her name. She came immediately and held Kirk by the hand. My heart melted.
“Hey, buddy. I’m your dad,” I said as I bent down at the knees to be at eye level with him.
“I know,” he said, nodding his little head. He was the most adorable creature I had ever seen. It helped a lot that he looked just like me. I grinned inside at my own vanity.
“Hey, buddy, would you like to come out to the truck and see the gifts that I’ve brought for you?”
“Can I, Mommy?” he asked, looking up at Silver.
“Of course, he’s your daddy. You know you don’t go with strangers, but this is your daddy,” she said and it was probably most beautiful words I’d ever heard.
Kirk tentatively walked out onto the porch and raised his hand toward mine. I took the tiny appendage in my own, coarse, calloused hand and it felt as if I had touched an angel. He looked up at me with the same gray eyes that I looked down at him with and there was a consciousness that we exchanged. If I had been worried, I needn’t have. He accepted me fully.
We walked out to the truck and he stood on the grass next to it as I handed down bag after bag of gifts to Silver. We gathered them up and sat down upon the front lawn while he opened them, squealing with delight at each new toy. Silver rolled her eyes at me a few times, and I knew I had probably overstepped the bounds. That’s just who I was. I never did anything half ass.
“How about if I bring these all inside and we put them in your room, buddy” I suggested.
Silver nodded and together we picked up the pieces and headed indoors.
“There’s been a little change in plans,” Silver said.
“How’s that?” I asked her.
“Sarah will be here in a few minutes. She’s going to stay with Kirk this evening. You and I are going out to dinner. I thought it would be better if we were alone.”
“Sounds perfect to me,” I told her.
Sure enough, Sarah arrived only moments later and she picked up the last of the toys and headed upstairs behind Kirk.
“Let me get my bag I’ll be right down.” Silver walked upstairs and I admired her backside as she went. I missed her terribly and wanted to hold her in my arms. I hoped against hope that somehow that would happen before the night was over.
We got into her car because she knew where she was going. I sat on the passenger side sort of turned in the seat and watched your profile as she spoke. She told me about the early days with Maudie, in the little town where the first café had been located. I felt like she was building up to something. She pulled into a little parking lot and drove around to the back of the building. She looked at me and smiled. “Come on with me,” she said and got out of the car.
I followed her inside and to my surprise, it was a very homey restaurant. “This is mine,” she said, the pride in her voice unmistakable.
“Really? This is all yours?”
“Yes, and this is the second one. I’ve been scouting for location for the third one. That all depends on you now.”
“You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear you say that,” I told her.
We sat down and a waitress appeared immediately, handing me a menu. All my favorite foods were there. I marveled at the selections. “Do you know how to cook all of this yourself?”
“Of course I do,” she said. “That’s how I started with Maudie’s. I was
the cook.”
I had a little bit of trouble envisioning Silver standing at a grill, but I knew she was tough and would do whatever it took to survive. It just made me sad to think that she was running from me. There had really been no reason for her to do that, but she seemed to think that there was at that time.
I kept my mouth shut and didn’t pass judgment on her. I owed her that much at least. I recognized that I had been a bastard at the time. I had women crawling all over me and I seldom turned any of them down. I was drinking and I was angry with the world. She didn’t deserve that. Maybe she thought that she had brought it on, but she could not have been more wrong. She had been lighting the skies for me.
But all of that was behind us now. Here I was sitting in a booth in a restaurant that she owned. Behind us, just a few miles down the road, was our son. Life couldn’t get much better than that.
“So, where is it that you see things going from here?” she asked me, stirring her coffee and looking into my eyes very steadily.
“Well, naturally I would like you and Kirk to pack your things and come home with me to live forever. I love you, Silver. I want you to marry me.”
She set her cup down with a clink. “Marry you? I didn’t think you were the marrying kind.”
“I didn’t think I was, either,” I said. “But that was all before you. When I told you that night that I loved you I had no idea it would drive you away. I was ready to ask you to marry me then. You just never gave me a chance.”
“I know; I wasn’t being entirely fair to you.”
“Can we just put all of that behind us now? Will you and Kirk come home with me?”
“What about all this?” she said, spreading her arms to indicate the restaurant around us. “I can’t just walk away from it all. It doesn’t run itself. I was getting ready to open the third location; do you expect me to just forget all those plans and become a housewife?”
“I didn’t think that far ahead,” I said.
“There has to be some sort of compromise here. You have your career in Dallas, and I have mine here.”
“My career, my life and everything I want is here with you. Say the word and I will quit bull riding and moved here to Baton Rouge. I will give Jill the ranch if that’s what it takes.”
“You would do that for me?”
“I would do that for you, and for Kirk. We are a family. We belong together.”
Her eyes held a faraway look and I knew she was battling those old demons.
“You’re scared to give it up, aren’t you?” I asked, knowing how her mind ran.
She nodded.
“What if I were to tell you that you can keep it all in your name? If anything happened between us, I won’t have a single claim on it. You don’t have to work, but if you want to, you can. Will that make it easier for you?” I was hoping this would do the trick.
She nodded. “I’m glad you understand. I’ve been without for so much of my life; I just need to know that I have something to fall back on. I know that’s not very positive thinking, but it is what it is.”
“I get it,” I said. “I’ve been there.”
“Good. You really going to give Jill the ranch?” I asked him.
“Well, I said that but it’s not really what I want to do. I’d rather just let her live there, but I’d keep a hand in things and keep it in my name. To be honest, I’m a little uncertain she can handle it. She’s liable to sign it away for a truckload of pot.”
She nodded. She understood perfectly where I was coming from. “Jill really can’t be trusted with that much money, Blake. She’s never been able to handle it. Someone will just get it from her.”
“I know. So, I’ll keep the ranch. Then how about you? You going to keep working the café?”
“I’ve got Marie managing the other one and Bertha is handling this one. It was my idea to open a third, but I could be coerced into reconsidering that. I’d like to spend time with Kirk and you,” she said and I thought my heart would burst.
“What’s up with you?” she asked suspiciously.
“Why? What do you mean?”
“You’ve gone all soft inside. That’s not like you. What happened?”
I chuckled. “Cupid hit me.”
“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that simple. You used to be hard and almost mean. You didn’t give a crap about anyone but yourself. Where did all that go?”
I shifted in the booth and kept my voice low. “I don’t understand, Silver. I figured you’d want me to be a little more settled down. I’ve been doing this act for a while now, getting ready for the day that I finally found you.”
Her eyes narrowed and she looked around before responding in quiet voice. “I don’t want you changing for me, Blake. If you change for someone, you’re giving in. It won’t last. I don’t want to get mixed up with someone who’s going to change back into someone else down the line.”
My mouth was open and I could hardly believe what I was hearing. “I thought you’d like it,” I rationalized.
“You thought wrong. I don’t like this—not one bit!” she had become almost vicious in her tone of voice. Where was this coming from? One moment we’re lovers getting married and the next, she’s a viper ready to bite me.
“Silver, I don’t get you. I thought you wanted me to be a decent guy. Isn’t that what every woman wants?”
“Yeah, right …” she sneered. “Decent guy. You’ve been screwing my sister, haven’t you?”
I could feel my head snap back like I had whiplash. “What the hell are you talking about?” Where had Silver gone and who was this woman in the other seat?
“Yeah, she told me. She let me know that you two were an item now.”
I held up both hands. “Look, Silver, I don’t know where she got that. I never laid a hand on her. She has her end of the house and her company; I’ve been alone. Hell, I’m hardly even there anymore. I’ve been on the circuit.”
“She doesn’t seem to think so,” she spat and signaled the waitress to come and retrieve the dirty dishes.
As the girl stacked the plates and casually chatted with Silver, I sat there and steamed. I had no idea what was going on and why Silver was choosing to attack me. I didn’t like it; not one bit.
The dinner was cleared and by mutual glares, we agreed to leave. We climbed into her car and it was a silent trip back to her house. When we got there, I got into the truck and started the motor. I rolled down the window and waited for her to come around to my side.
She walked up close to the truck and leaned a leather-gloved hand on the edge of the door. “So?”
“So … what?”
“So, did you screw her?” she asked, her voice full of venom.
“Hell no, I didn’t. Ask her. She’s nuts if she tells you otherwise. I’ve never touched her.”
“I find that a little hard to believe,” she said. “You have a certain reputation among the ladies, you know. How could you have one under your roof that long and not dip into her?”
“Silver! What the hell has gotten into you? You weren’t like this when we left? It’s like someone put another head on you. Snap out of it.”
“Remember you said you’d leave when I asked you to?”
I felt myself walking into the trap. “Yeah.”
“Okay, you got it. Leave. Don’t come back. You’re not the man I fell in love with and I don’t want a lying bastard hanging around here just because I have his kid.”
I was so astonished; I literally did not know what to say. It was as if Silver had disappeared, only to be replaced by this hateful creature who listened to nothing I was saying and chose to accuse me of things that simply weren’t true.
“You sure that’s what you want?” I asked her in a steely voice.
“I’m sure. Go on. Get out of here!”
“It would be my pleasure,” I snarled and hit the shifter into reverse. I spun gravel at her as I backed out, hit drive, and was gone before she got a chance to kick me yet again.
Meli
I saw his taillights turn the corner at the end of the block and I managed to stay on my feet until I was sure he couldn’t see me. That’s when I collapsed onto the lawn and began sobbing helplessly. That had been the hardest thing I’d ever had to do.
I hoped he wouldn’t come back. I wasn’t sure I could go through that act again. I had to ask myself if what I’d done was the right thing. How could an act of love feel his lousy?
I picked myself up from the grass and went inside. The house was quiet as I’d let myself in. Sarah was staying in her room and Kirk was fast asleep. I quietly opened his door and stood in the doorway, watching him sleep. He was the spitting image of his father. I could barely stand to look at him. I closed the door and tiptoed down the hallway to my own room.
Once inside, I gave way to fresh tears. I kicked off my shoes and threw myself atop the thick comforter. It literally felt like my heart was breaking in half. I didn’t know if I could live with the pain.
I heard a noise downstairs and froze, mid-tears. Reaching into my nightstand, I pulled out the revolver I kept there and quickly removed the guard lock. Without turning on lights, I sneaked to the doorway and slid the door open. I could hear a noise coming from the living room area and my heart was pounding.
I inched down the hallway, checking quickly to make sure that both Kirk and Sarah were asleep in their rooms. I didn’t want to awaken either of them; it could give whomever was trying to get in a hostage.
One by one, I crept down the stairs. I cursed myself for not having installed the home security system the realtor had suggested. I told her I was a New York City gal and nothing scared me. I was wrong. There was definitely at least one person coming into my house.
At the foot of the stairs I paused, letting my eyes become adjusted to the darkness of the room. I could hear a scratching noise and recognized it as the effort to raise the window. It was an old house and the windows didn’t go up easily.
I advanced to the living room, wishing that I’d selfishly had kept Blake with me. This was one time I needed a strong, fearless man with me.