by Naomi Niles
As a new wife, I wanted to make my family’s breakfast. Workmen had stayed through the night to do the clean-up after the wedding. Peeking through the back door, it was as if nothing had ever happened. The pool was sparkling clean and there was a full cart of crisp, white towels. The tent was gone, as were all the food leftovers and dirty dishes. I was so relieved that Blake had the foresight to see to the clean-up; that might have been too much to take on as I felt fairly exhausted from activity of the day before.
Blake emerged, his cell in his hand and a scowl on his face. I felt disappointed that our little romantic bubble of heaven had been penetrated by something unpleasant. “Anything wrong?”
His head snapped up and I could see him framing his response. “Nope. Just business. A contractor didn’t show up and it’s holding up the concrete on the store in Des Moines.” He walked past me without giving me a kiss.
“C’mon, what’s really going on?” I pushed on his arm. He was acting strangely, looking around in a distracted manner and not at all the happy groom who had professed to be truly happy for the first time in his life.
“Just business, Silver. Hey, buddy, did you have fun yesterday?” he picked up Kirk and tossed him in the air. His reward was a spoon of milk cereal splattered against his checked shirt.
I shrugged and went about scrambling some eggs with bits of bacon and making the toast. Blake punched himself in a cup of coffee from the Keurig and then made a hot tea for me. He joined me at the breakfast table where a window afforded us a broad view of the back yard. I handed him a napkin and looked out over the pool, the barn, and the acres of green trees and pasture beyond them. I could hear Kirk scooting off his stool at the breakfast bar and running down the hall to his room. As we watched, Sarah emerged from her downstairs apartment and was headed to the pool for a morning swim. “Do you have any idea how content and happy I feel right now?” I began.
Blake raised up off his chair and leaned over to kiss me. “Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world, Silver. No matter what happens, nothing will ever change that. You remember that, okay?”
I stiffened a bit at his words. Something was definitely up and I had a feeling I was somehow involved. His remark had been uncalled for, at least the cautionary part. Why would he reiterate that our relationship would always remain the same? There was no purpose in going to that length. I did an internal shrug. Whatever it was, it would surface eventually, and in the meantime, I wanted to continue to bask in the warmth of the moment and in the prospect of the days to come.
“We have a table of wedding gifts to open, you know,” I pointed out conversationally.
He nodded absentmindedly.
I tried again. “Do you realize that with the exception of the Escalade and possibly the inheritance from Maudie, that I’ve never received a gift in my whole life?”
He looked up at this and suddenly I noticed that there was actually a glimmer of tears in his eyes.
“Blake! What’s wrong, honey?” I was truly concerned.
“Nothing, nothing. I’m just happy.”
I knew he was lying and that bothered me. He had to have a pretty good reason not to tell me the truth; that just wasn’t like him. He obviously didn’t want to tell me, and therefore I’d be patient.
We finished eating and I picked up the plates. “C’mon, let’s go in and open the gifts,” I suggested and he absently nodded and followed me into the dining room. He sat at one end of the table and watched while I ripped through paper and ribbons.
Marie gifted a beautiful, hand-crocheted afghan and I could picture her making it, rocking in her chair. I hugged it to myself and could even smell her scent on it.
People who worked from me had gone in together and bought things like cookware: an ironic, tongue-in-cheek, but altogether welcomed collection.
Blake’s rodeo friends, on the other hand, filled boxes with ribald, prankster gifts that had to be quickly thrown back into boxes before Kirk found them and thought them playthings.
There was a flat, brown envelope with simply my named scribbled on the outside. I frowned as I picked it up, wondering if it had gotten in with the gifts by mistake. Blake’s face blanched and he flew across the table and grabbed it from my hands.
I looked up, my mouth opened. “What the hell was that all about?”
“Just junk mail,” he said quickly. His face said otherwise.
“No, it’s not. You’re not telling me the truth. What’s in that envelope, Blake? You’ve been acting weird ever since you got up this morning. C’mon, give it up and tell me what’s going on?”
He got up from the table and carried the envelope with him as he headed out into the back yard. I ran after him. “Blake! Come back here! You already know what’s in that and I want to see it. Don’t do this. It was addressed to me.”
He stopped in his tracks, his shoulders slumped in resignation, and he finally turned around and came back inside. “Silver, get ready. You’re not going to like this. Please don’t let it undo all that we’ve come through. Promise me?”
My mouth was open and my head wagged a bit. “What? Okay … I promise, but what on earth in that envelope could have you so upset?” He slid it across the table at me and sat down for me to absorb it.
Looking at his face while I did so, I opened the flap and tilted it to look inside. There was a magazine in it. I pulled it out and there was a paper clip fastened down upon one of the pages. I had a sick feeling in my stomach and sat down to calm the rising agitation.
The headline read, BULL RIDER TEMPLE FINALLY WEDS HIS BABY MAMA. “Oh, my God! What the hell is this? Where did this come from?” That’s when I saw the byline. It was some little-known reporter via an interview with Jill Christian. I looked up at Blake, horror on my face and his was filled with uncertainty and compassion.
“Don’t read it, Silver,” he urged me, reaching out for the magazine.
I shook my head and turned so he couldn’t take it. I had to read it. I had to purge the anger and resentment I felt boiling up in myself. I was in for a nightmare.
There were pictures of me standing in front of each of my new cafes, smiling and triumphant. There were pictures of Blake, publicity photos and then some with his businesses as well. There was also a shot of Kirk and while Jill wouldn’t have had access to it, the reporter had probably paid off someone locally to get it. The story went on to detail my illegitimate upbringing, said I had a history of broken relationships with weak men, and had set my sights on Blake and his stardom, seducing him to get pregnant in hopes that he’d marry me. It even suggested Kirk was not his son. The piece suggested that I had purposely befriended a dying, old black woman in a tiny backwoods town so I could take everything she owned. Blake was characterized as a drunk and womanizer who had no memory of even having slept with me. The real kicker came with the part where I shot him, portrayed as a stalker gone crazy.
I simply had no words.
Blake put his arm around me, hugging me against him. “She’s a drunk and a druggie and has always been jealous of you. Feel sorry for her, Silver.”
“Did you see the things she said about us?” I asked in horror. “About you?”
“Hell, I don’t give a shit about me. It’s you and Kirk. She’s gone, Silver. This needs to get as little attention as possible. I’ve already put my people on to getting the rag to print a retraction. That author … she’s gone. Fired. It’s over.”
I nodded, tears streaming down my face.
“Silver, there’s more. I was going to tell you eventually. I hoped I could make this go away and you’d never know.”
“What more?” I was choking on tears.
“I’ve called a friend of mine in Dallas and he and his deputies are going out to the ranch. I know where Jill keeps her stashes, and while I didn’t want to tell you, I’m pretty sure she’s dealing, big time. Strange vehicles would show up in the middle of the night and she’d tell me it was some guy she’d picked up at a bar. But the vehicles wer
e vans, black and unmarked. I’m fairly sure she was running drugs up from Mexico and delivering their goods in those vans. I called Dennis, my friend, and turned her in, Silver. I cut a deal with him that he’d put her in a clinic and give her probation as long as she keeps her nose clean. It’s doing her a favor, Silver. One of these days, she would have turned up in a ditch alongside the road. I’m sorry, but I have to look after you and our son. The magazine is going to write a retraction and it will say that Jill was high on drugs and gave them that story out of jealousy over her sister’s earned success. It will die down and be gone. I swear.”
I kissed him and as he held me; I thanked God for the blessing of having brought Blake into my life.
I knew that while Jill had twisted the truth, there was some basis to certain things that were written. It was up to me to put them away. I had to begin with forgiveness.
I began by forgiving my mother. I understood that she, like me, had done the best she could with what she had to work with. She had probably often chased us away to protect us from being molested by one of the lowlifes who paid to use her. Maybe she knew I was strong enough to look after Jill and myself and she had to make me angry and sad enough to leave on my own.
I had to forgive Jill for her lack of contribution and her jealousy. She had always been a taker and looked after her own interests. She was big-hearted when it suited her. She lacked the long-distance vision to recognize that it took more than a temporary fix in order to survive and to live happily. I hoped that one day she would learn and that she would come through this a grown woman who understood how to survive on her own. I could no longer be there for her.
Lastly I had to forgive myself for being who I was. It had served a purpose at one time in my life, but was no longer necessary to survival or to happiness. Blake was my other half; the man I had been intended for all along, no matter how long I refused to see it. I had to forgive myself from keeping the knowledge of Kirk away from him for so long. Everything had a time and place and it had happened when it finally was right for everyone involved.
Louisiana had become my home in Kirk’s mind. He would grow up to be a strong, tall man like his father and perhaps even ride the bulls. After all, he was the product of a champion, and in cattle and horses, breeding was everything.
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This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2016 Naomi Niles