by L. K. Lewis
“I want to fight for our happiness. I want you to be there at the end of a long day. I want to plan sweet dinners, and bring you flowers. In doing so, though, I am now asking you to risk your name and your career. If anyone finds out about us, your career with Baylor Industries would be over, and your name could potentially be dragged through the mud. So what I’m asking you now is … knowing what I’ve just told you of my past, am I still worth fighting for in your eyes?”
“Is that what I am, Drake? A weakness?” Morgan asks with unshed tears in her eyes.
“No, baby, of course you aren’t. Don’t you understand what I’ve been trying to tell you? Women have been a weakness to me in the past, and now my father is using my past to make me work for my future. You aren’t just any woman though, Morgan, you are the woman for me. You are the future I’m willing to work so hard for. The position in my father’s company will help me to provide that future for you, for us.”
“Drake, it’s amazing how much you love me when really, we’ve only just met. What’s even more amazing is how I understand how much you love me, because I feel the same for you. We don’t really know each other, though. Are you sure you’re willing to give up so much for me when you don’t really know that much about me?”
“The fact that you could feel a fraction for me as I feel for you makes everything worth it. I’m not willing to give you up now that I have you. You’re right, we really don’t know each other very well. I know very little about you actually, now that I think about it. I want to know everything, though. I want to let you in completely, and let you know me too, as hard as that will be for me to do. I want you forever, Morgan. We have the rest of our lives to get to know everything there is to know about each other. I’d give everything up for you if that meant I could have you forever. What I need you to think about now is if you would do the same for me.”
I can see the wheels spinning in Morgan’s mind. We have been sitting in silence for a few minutes. I keep telling myself to be patient and give her time to speak, but I’m starting to go nuts just sitting here. Of course I wanted her to immediately pull me close, kiss me and tell me I’m worth the fight, and I’m a little heartbroken that she didn’t. I also understand that I’ve just given her a small glimpse into my past, and told her that being with me could jeopardize everything that she has worked for, so I get that she is taking a moment to think things through.
“Morgan,” her eyes meet mine as I break the silence, “if you would like, I can leave and give you time and space to think. I’ve given you a great deal to process, baby, and I don’t want you to feel any pressure from me.”
“I don’t want you to go.” She starts to speak but hesitates. “But maybe you should. This is a lot for me think about. I want to make it clear to you that looking beyond your past, and wanting to be with you have nothing to do with what I’m processing. Thank you so much for opening up to me like you did. It means so much to me, and I don’t judge you. Picturing you as a heavy drug user and doing God knows what with numerous women doesn’t exactly make me happy, but that was all in your past. I agree with you, and am so happy to be with the best version of yourself. You should be so proud of how far you have come.”
“Thank you, baby,” I say as I give her a reassuring kiss on the cheek.
“I’ve worked very hard at exceeding the expectations of my parents to meet my own. They wanted me to go to college to meet a husband, not earn a degree, but I’ve always strived for independence. It warms my heart, and fills me with hope at a future with you to know how you want to care for me and provide a wonderful life for me. The only thing is, Drake … that is always something I’ve wanted to do for myself. I need to make it on my own, and know that the success I have is something I’ve earned myself, and that is what I need to spend time thinking about today.” Morgan looks at me and shrugs. “Would it be okay if I called you later once I’ve had time to think?”
“Of course, take all the time you need. I think I’ll head to the gym for a bit, then I’ll be home the rest of the day. I don’t want you to feel rushed or pressured by me. Once your decision is made, I only want to move forward, not backward. Whatever your decision is, we will make a plan for working together, and go from there.”
With misty eyes, Morgan nods in agreement. I think she is trying too hard not to cry to be able to speak, and it breaks my heart. I hope I’m worth the fight, but I’m scared to death in this moment that
I’m not. Feeling like this is the beginning of goodbye, I open my arms to her. Morgan doesn’t hesitate as she rushes into my embrace and I wrap my arms around her as tightly as I can without crushing her small frame. I feel a dampness in my shirt, and I know she has finally let the tears come. I give her a comforting kiss on the forehead then hug her tightly again. Maybe we can just stay like this forever and not think about goodbyes. After a few more moments, I reluctantly draw myself away from her and look down into her red, swollen eyes. “Should I be worried?” I ask her the question on my mind, knowing I most likely don’t want to hear the answer.
“I don’t know,” Morgan responds through quivering lips, as a few more tears fall. I reach my hands up, cupping either side of her face, and give her a few sweet kisses. Resting my forehead on hers, I close my eyes and savor what feels like my last moment with Morgan Lane. I take a deep breath in, and open my eyes, tell her I love her, then turn to leave. As I reach the door, I turn to take in her beauty one last time.
“I’ll call you later,” Morgan says, then heads to her bathroom and shuts the door. I leave, and close her apartment door behind me. I can hear her shower faucet start as I walk away.
Chapter 13
Morgan
These last 24 hours have been surreal to say the least. I woke up yesterday morning, hardly able to stomach the idea of going to work because the last thing I wanted to do was deal with Drake Baylor. His actions in the restaurant Thursday night were so ridiculous and off-putting that it made me question myself and the fact that I could have ever had feelings for him. In a bizarre turn of events, I woke up this morning elated by the fact that Drake Baylor was in my bed, after an amazing evening in the throes of passion, and declarations of love. Did that really happen, or have I woken up in one of my many dreams about Drake? Clearly this isn’t a dream, because as I stand in my shower, letting the hot water cascade over me, my heart is beaming, but my head is heavy with thoughts of Drake, and our future together.
The question isn’t whether or not I want to be with Drake. Being with him is something I’ve dreamed of since stepping into his office a few weeks ago. I’m completely drawn to him. His beauty is unmatched by anyone I’ve ever met. His determination to find success in life after his previous poor choices left it in rubble is inspiring. The way he continues to express his feelings and undying want and need for me warms me to my core. I have fallen more in love with Drake after only knowing him for such a short time, than I ever have for anyone else in my entire life.
The question I need to answer for myself is, am I willing to give up something I’ve worked so hard for so long for, after knowing Drake for such a short amount of time? If Drake Sr. finds out about us, what will happen? How will we move forward without the prospects of a career to support us? My parents will always be there to catch me when I fall, but I won’t want them to. I need to figure out a way to forge a career for myself, and still have Drake at the end of the day. This is what he meant by needing a plan. I can see why he was so insistent on talking before our relationship went any further.
Baylor Industries is the best firm in my field. Starting my career there, and in the position I did, is something many people only dream of. I reluctantly accepted my father’s help in getting my position, and assured him that his assistance would stop there. I could easily find a job at any other firm in the city, and resign from Baylor, leaving the possibility for a relationship with Drake open, couldn’t I? I don’t know if I could be happy working with my second or third choice after starting at my firs
t, especially when Drake promised his dad not to have a relationship at all, not just with someone working for him. So leaving Baylor wouldn’t really make sense.
The more I think about losing out on a future with Drake, the easier it is to think about giving up my career with Baylor. I’ll never give up my need for independence, but I’m sure we can work this all out together and make a solid plan. Fighting together as a team for what we want seems a lot easier than losing out separately.
Drake
Well that talk didn’t go exactly as I had planned. I could see pure love in Morgan’s eyes, but I could also see confusion, and that isn’t good. Although my departure really felt like goodbye, I hope to hell it wasn’t. I love that girl so much. I can’t imagine the rest of my life without her. If she chooses us, we are going to have a tough road ahead of us. There isn’t a simple decision to be made without one or both of us getting seriously hurt, or having to make a major sacrifice. I wish the poor decisions in the past hadn’t left me with so few options. If she decides that being with me is too hard, or perhaps I’m not worth the fight after all, I’ll be crushed. I’ll do my best to be understanding and supportive, but I’ll be dying inside. Working with her will be pure torture, but at least I’ll still be able to see her on an almost daily basis.
I’ve worked out, showered, cleaned my house, and now I’m at the office trying to get a jump on the week ahead. I was driving myself crazy at home, and thought about grabbing a beer at the bar around the corner from my place, but I’ve been careful not to overindulge, and wouldn’t want my nerves to cloud my judgment. I’m a ball of nervous energy as I sit at my desk, answering emails. I’m zoned out while writing a client brief when I see something in my peripheral vision. I glance up to see my father standing in my doorway with a look of shock and amusement on his face.
“In the office making moves on a Saturday? Now that is the level of commitment I like to see Son, I’m proud of you,” my dad says with approval in his voice.
“Yeah, got tired of waiting around my house for … uh … my friend to call, so I thought I’d come in for a while to answer some emails and get a jump on the week.”
“You were waiting for a friend to call you?” My dad wasn’t buying it.
“Yes, my friend Jake and I are supposed to play basketball later. We met playing pick-up at the gym last week. I met him out for a beer last night and we decided to get together and play today. I started feeling like a loser sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring, so I decided to come in for a bit.” I try to sound convincing.
“Hmmmm. Well, I’m off. Your mother has decided to redo the master bath again and we have to meet the architect this afternoon.”
“Stepmother, Dad. Tell Gloria I said hello.” Gloria will never be my mother. I mourned that loss as a little boy.
“Yes, sorry Son, stepmother. Have fun playing basketball,” he says as he leaves and I return to my client brief, thankful that my father’s appearance was able to distract me for a least a few minutes. I shouldn’t have lied to my dad like that. I guess I didn’t even have to make up a story at all, I could have just said I was bored and needed something to do I guess.
Morgan
My decision is made. Drake is my world, and I am going to stick by his side through everything. We are young, and have the rest of our lives to figure things out, and learn from our mistakes. Drake has made a lifetime of mistakes already, and has been able to move on from them, becoming the amazing person he is today. Making such a possibly life altering decision after only knowing someone for a matter of weeks is something I would never think of doing. Moving forward with a relationship with Drake is actually a bad decision, but I can’t imagine living a life without him. I’m willing to suffer any consequences because of this decision, and living without him seems like the worst consequence I could ever face.
I still feel like I need a little time and space to clear my head and form exactly what I want to say, so I call Amanda to meet me for coffee and a little shopping. Perhaps I’ll pick up a sexy little nighty and a bottle of champagne to celebrate our new commitment to each other. Would that be too much? Most likely not for Drake, he seems pretty sentimental. I’m sure he’d love it!
*****
After an hour two of shopping, Amanda and I are starving. I haven’t yet told her about last night with Drake. He mentioned speaking about this subject matter in private and I’m sure he won’t be too thrilled to find out I told Amanda, but I really have to talk this through with my best friend. She knows me better than anyone else, and I just want her to tell me I am making the right choice. Even though I already know I am. I choose a little French bistro/delicatessen near the shopping center where I know I’ll also be able to pick up some nice champagne and maybe a little French chocolate for tonight.
I have decided to invite Drake over tonight, and when he comes to the door, I’ll be wearing nothing but the sheer silk floor length robe I purchased today. I’ll have a bubble bath drawn and waiting, and the champagne chilling in an ice bucket next to the tub. I thought we could discuss our plan in a relaxing environment while sipping champagne and nibbling French chocolates, and perhaps that would help to keep the heaviness of the subject matter out of the air. After we hatch a plan, I’ll relax on Drake’s chest again as he washes me as sensually as he did last night, and then we can make love all night. Sounds like a plan to me!
“Earth to Morgan, hello!” Amanda snaps me out of my wonderful daydream and back to reality. “I’ve ordered a café au lait, and the Parisian salad, would you like the same, or would you like the croque madame?”
“Salad sounds good,” I reply, just as my stomach starts to grumble. I haven’t eaten anything since my adorable scrambled egg and toast breakfast that Drake made this morning. Wow, that feels like an eternity ago. Laughing, I say, “I guess my stomach agrees with my choice! I must be hungrier than I thought!”
We pay at the register and Amanda grabs our coffees while I get the champagne and chocolate. Shortly after we find a secluded table away from anyone who might possibly be able to overhear, our salads are delivered. Eyeballing my specialty purchases, Amanda gives me an inquisitive look before asking, “Would you mind letting me in on your little secret, my BFF Morgan?”
“Oh my gosh, Amanda, so much has happened. Where do I begin …” I answer in a dramatic huff.
“Why don’t you start by telling me who you plan on sharing the chocolate and bubbly with?” Amanda says with a sly smile.
“Well, do you remember the hot guy at the bar I was dancing with a few weeks ago?”
“Do you mean your sexy as hell new boss that bought us a shot, then left you panting on the dance floor?” she remembers not so fondly.
“Yes, that’s the one,” I say with a small giggle. “Well, we’ve sort of had this weird back and forth thing since my first day of work.”
“What do you mean back and forth?”
“Well, maybe hot and cold would be a better choice of words. We have had this crazy sexual attraction toward each other since the moment our eyes met. It’s like we are drawn together with the strongest magnetic force, it’s crazy. We have had the most hot and steamy moments together.”
“You mean like on the dance floor where I thought he was going to throw you down and get you both arrested for lewd public behavior?” Amanda interrupts.
“Exactly, only most have been even more … intense. It isn’t just sexual attraction between us, though, there is something else there too, something … I don’t know … more … I guess. We can’t stand to be away from each other. I feel like I miss him when we are in the same room. I look at him and my breathing picks up.”
“Well, girl, if you haven’t figured it out yet, I’d like to point out that you are most likely in love,” Amanda says as she pats my shoulder.
I look at her with watery eyes and shrug, “Oh I figured it out all right, big time. When we are hot, we are oh so hot, but then he turns frigid and I feel like I might fall apart, I near
ly do.”
“Oh, he’s a moody one. Watch out for those, girl, they will turn your world upside down.”
“He isn’t moody, he’s actually lovely, and is trying to protect me by throwing us in an ice bath. Figuratively of course.” I think of the actual bath we will be taking tonight, and smile.
“I’m not following.” Amanda has a look of utter confusion on her face.
“Okay, I’ll break it down. Drake is being groomed to take over the CEO position from his father in the not so distant future. He has made some less than wise decisions in his past, and has unfortunately burned a few bridges in our small working community. Fortunately, his father owns a Fortune 500 company, and Drake’s back up plan is better than most people’s dreams.”
“Must be nice,” Amanda laughs.
“When his father agreed to groom him for the position, the job came with a few … criteria. The main one being that over the next few years, while Drake is proving his worth to his father, he isn’t allowed to be in any form of romantic relationship. Apparently Drake has been easily distracted by women in the past, and his father is using this criteria as a means to keep him focused, but also as a way for Drake to prove that he takes this position seriously.”
“Okay, so wait a year or two until Drake gets the position, and then date him. Why are you in such a tizzy about this? It seems like a no brainer to me, Morgie.” Amanda is baffled by my situation.