by Karen Welch
“I believe I’ll say goodnight now.” He offered his hand to Michael. “It’s been a busy few days. An early night seems in order.”
“We’ll see you at breakfast then. I assume you’ll be joining us? I thought eleven o’clock Mass would work best for us, give us all plenty of time to get ourselves together.” Without waiting for Kendall’s answer, he moved toward the study, glancing back at Peg. “I suppose you and Mrs. Leary are doing the usual, darlin’?”
“Of course. I’ll see you before bedtime though.” She blew him a kiss before turning to Kendall. “Come on. I’ll show you the ballroom, and if you think it will work, we can open the doors for a while. It’s probably pretty stuffy up there. We haven’t used it in months, not since my ball.”
“Your ball? Oh, you mean your debutante affair. I frankly don’t think I’ve ever known a girl who had her own ballroom. Must have come in handy.” Back to the others, he kept his voice low as he followed her to the stairs. “What’s this ‘usual’ you and Mrs. Leary are up to, if I may ask. Sounds intriguing.” As they started up, he let his hand rest on the small of her back, finding it impossible not to touch her when she was so close. She had changed for dinner into a dress of pale yellow eyelet, with a little round collar of white lace. It was demure in the extreme, with cap sleeves and a full skirt, and yet he’d found himself thinking how tempting she looked across the table. Now, with the slender curve of her waist beneath his hand, the prospect of a few moments alone set his pulse ticking faster.
“Oh, we’re going to wash my hair. We’ve always done it on Saturday night, or at least until this year when there were parties sometimes. It’s an awful lot of trouble. Another reason I should think about cutting it soon.” She moved away from him along the second story corridor toward a set of impressive double doors.
The doors opened onto near darkness, but Kendall sensed the vast space beyond. While he hesitated on the threshold, Peg crossed the room to open the heavy draperies along one wall, revealing three sets of broad French doors and flooding the room with soft light.
“It is stuffy. Come help me open these, please. There’s a bolt at the top I can barely reach.” She stood on tiptoe, one arm extended toward the ceiling.
“Here. Allow me.” Standing behind her, he easily grasped the bolt to release the lock. In the process, he felt her turn to face him, so near her hair brushed his chin. “There. That seems to have done it.” A quick step back and he lowered his eyes to her face, captured by something in her gaze. “Shall I do the others?” he finally rasped.
“Please. They open above the garden. There should be a breeze.” Her voice dropped to a soft near-whisper as she reached for the doors’ handles to pull them open, never taking her eyes from him.
He did the same with the other doors, and the room began to fill with evening air. Not quite sure what had put that sparkle in her eyes, he waited before getting too close again. There was nothing private about a room the size of the average hotel lobby, yet her expression had turned decidedly intimate.
Peg seemed to shake herself from the moment, starting across to a door at the far side of the room. “There are music stands in the closet here. You can move a chair wherever you think you’ll be most comfortable.” The sweep of her hand took in the legion of velvet upholstered chairs lining the perimeter of the gleaming parquet floor. “Come see if one of these will work for you.” Standing in the open door of what appeared to be a deep storage cupboard, she waved him over.
She looked so innocent in her sweet little yellow dress, turning to duck into the doorway. The moment he followed her into the darkness, a hand grasped his lapel and none-to-sweetly tugged him aside. Without saying a word, Peg snaked an arm around his neck and pressed against him. In the faint light he could see that sparkle as she turned her face up to his. Far too easy to seize the moment, and the girl, and he was admittedly far too lacking in any power to resist.
This time Peg initiated the kiss, and he was stunned by how quickly she’d mastered the art. Softly, she brushed her mouth across his, once, then twice, before delicately nipping his lower lip with her teeth. In response, he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her closer and quelling the urge to rush ahead. Subtly, she made her advance, gentle pressure increasing by mesmerizing degrees until at last her lips opened, inviting him in, moaning into his mouth as he answered her demands. Her hands slid inside his jacket, fingers splayed across his chest, exploring through the fabric of his shirt. Tempted to let himself forget who she was and where they were, to allow his instincts to follow hers, he left her mouth, trailing a kiss down her throat to the lace of her collar and back up to the warm hollow behind her ear, breathing her name as he went.
“Peg, we have to stop this.” Returning to her mouth, he hovered longingly.
“Why?” she sighed.
With a surge of willpower, he pulled away, releasing her and withdrawing her hands from his jacket to restrain them between his own. “Because this is insane! What if someone came in?”
“No one’s going to come in here. And what if they did? What’s so wrong with us kissing?”
“In a cupboard? And, brat, that wasn’t just kissing. There’s a great deal wrong with it.”
She shot him an artless glance through her lashes. “I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it at all and you seemed to be enjoying it, too.”
“That’s not the point and you should know it. It’s not what we think, it’s what they’ll think when they catch us. I thought we talked about all this in the park.”
She managed to free her hands, sliding them around his neck. “We did? Oh, yes, you think no one will approve. I suppose you’re right, but as long as we’re careful, they won’t get the chance to disapprove, now will they?”
One more, just a kiss, he told himself, and then she’d be satisfied and he’d slink away until his arousal cooled. As he should have known by now, far from sharing his thoughts, Peg was following her own agenda. While fully engaged in a kiss of startling creativity, her hands had deftly undone the knot of his tie and begun on his collar button before he even noticed. Instead of heeding the distant voice of caution, he agreed with his libido that it was only polite to let her have her way, meanwhile permitting his hands to collect information on whatever portion of her they found beneath them. Passing over the smooth bodice of her dress, they investigated the narrow circumference of her waist. Beneath the folds of skirt her hips flared to a fullness which seemed sculpted to match his palms and begged to be caressed. Back up along her ribs, they skimmed the soft swells at the sides of her breasts.
Peg had made rapid progress, apparently intent on discovery of her own. Her work on the buttons done, she spread his shirt open and withdrew her lips, pressing them to a spot just over his heart. “I want to see you,” she whispered, turning him toward the faint light from the doorway.
“Why?” Foolish question, but the best he could manage. No novice to seduction, he prided himself on his skill at controlling a situation such as this. Somehow this theoretically innocent girl had swept him beyond common sense to dangerously near the limits of reason in a matter of minutes.
Peg, eyes wide, was surveying his bared chest with intense focus. Teasing the furring of black hair curiously, she laid her cheek against it. “I’ve never really seen a man without a shirt, you know?”
“Surely you must have. Don’t you ever go swimming?” Where he’d dredged up such a response, he couldn’t imagine. The effect of her touch had dispatched his mind to visions of candlelight and tangled sheets, far from the hard wall pressing against his back and the faint mustiness of the cupboard.
“But the boys I know don’t look anything like this.” She lifted her head for another look. “You’re very masculine, aren’t you?”
He laughed softly into her hair. “I don’t know about that, but I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be looking at me. In fact, I’m positive it’s inappropriate for us to be doing any of the things we’re doing. Peg, sweetheart, you must
stop taking advantage of me this way.” Grasping her firmly by the shoulders, he set her as far away as the confined space allowed. “Now, you stay right there. I’m going to get myself together and we’re going to walk away from here as though none of this ever happened. Do you understand?” He was amazed at the resolve in his voice. His knees, and even his hands as he buttoned his shirt, were trembling and there was an annoying ringing in his ears. The physical effect of a few unbridled moments with Peg left him wondering if he would survive actually making love to her. And that fact, that he had even ventured to think such a thing, set his pulse pounding again.
Hoping the knot in his tie would pass if he encountered anyone on the way to his room, he again took Peg by the shoulders and turned her toward the ballroom. “Listen to me, brat. I want you to go straight to whatever you’re supposed to be doing tonight. Find Mrs. Leary and get your hair washed. No lurking in the hall waiting to distract me, no more luring me into cupboards and absolutely no more. . .” He involuntarily glanced over his shoulder at the room’s entrance and dropped his voice to an emphatic hiss. “No more kissing! Promise?”
She turned to him, disappointment evident in her eyes and the downturn of her mouth. “You didn’t like it.”
“No, I didn’t like it! I adored it! That’s the whole trouble. You’re testing my upbringing as a gentleman and proving me a failure! Peg, please, don’t look like that!” It was impossible not to reach out and touch her cheek when her eyes glimmered with tears. “Sweetheart,” he went on softly, “you can’t expect me to resist if you offer yourself so freely. Don’t you understand that a man has pathetically little aversion to taking whatever he desires, regardless of how wrong he may know it would be?”
Her eyes brightened perceptibly. “You really desire.me?”
“Good God, Peg, of course I do! Any man would. That’s just my point.”
She seemed to mull over the idea, her eyes never leaving his. “And I guess that’s what I feel for you. Desire, I mean. So why do we have to resist it? Isn’t that what a man and woman are supposed to feel for each other?”
He took a moment to grasp the truth of the matter. Difficult as it was to believe, it appeared Peg had been so sheltered, or so disinterested, that she really had no idea of the dangers associated with desire. Her exclusive Catholic girls’ school should have provided a more comprehensive education. It had ironically fallen to him to teach her not only the pleasures of the thing, but the hazards.
“Peg, surely you understand the result of giving in to our desire? Not that I would ever want to hurt you, but even I can’t guarantee my conduct if given certain opportunities.”
She made a little face. “You’re being stuffy again. You do that when you’re uncomfortable, don’t you?”
He smiled down at her, relieved at a glimpse of the old Peg. “Yes, I expect so. Let me try again. When we kiss like that, and most especially when you touch me the way you did just now, my body responds to you in a way that—no matter what my mind says—I can’t control. When a man becomes aroused, the urge to make love becomes overwhelming. Do you understand?”
Her answer was far from encouraging. “You wanted to make love to me?”
He let out an exasperated groan. “Never mind what I wanted. What I’m trying to tell you is that you can’t afford to push any man too far. The consequences could be dire.”
“Now you’re talking about getting pregnant, aren’t you?”
“That and other things as well. There are emotions involved in the act of making love, especially for a woman. You could be hurt in so many ways, simply by giving in to a moment of passion with a man who didn’t really care about you. Surely even you can understand that!”
“What do you mean, even me?” Anger sparked in her eyes so suddenly he felt as though he’d been struck.
“Only that you seem to be so innocent of these things. Didn’t they teach you anything in school about the evils of men and the weakness of the flesh? I thought Catholic children were raised on the consequences of sin.”
As quickly as it had flared, her anger evaporated and she smiled. “They are. But I don’t believe something’s really a sin unless it hurts someone. I suppose there was something about all that other, too, but I wasn’t really interested. I never thought I’d need to know, since I have no intention of getting involved with men that way.”
“Is that right? So what exactly did you think you were doing with me in that cupboard just now?” He smiled back, struck by something almost impertinent in her expression.
“But you’re different. You don’t see me just as Michael Shannon’s daughter. You know me. And I think you care about me, at least a little.”
“And other men will care about you too. Give them time. Before long, the street out front will be lined with men who want to show you how much they care.”
She turned away with a little humph of disgust. “And they can stay out there. Kendall, don’t you understand that no one will ever be attracted to me? They’ll be attracted to my father’s daughter, just the way they will be to his money and his power.”
Stunned by the matter-of-factness in her voice, he reached out to catch her arm. “You don’t really believe that?”
“Of course I do. I know it. I’ve always known it. I am my father’s daughter and his heir. Any man who looks at me will see that and only that. But I thought you were different.”
He pulled her gently into his arms, overcome by the need to prove that he was indeed different. “Oh my darling girl, you’re so wrong. One day, you’ll meet a man worthy of you, who’ll love you for the woman you are. You’re much too young yet to give up on what every girl dreams of.”
She was rigid in his arms, a sign he’d failed to convince her. “It’s all right, you know. It’s enough to find out that at least a man like you thinks I’m desirable.” Her voice, muffled against his chest, was still matter-of-fact. In another minute, he would have to show her just how desirable she was, and just how much he cared. Holding her like this set his heart pounding in a different rhythm, one driven by his desire, not to make love to her, but to prove to her just how deserving she was of a man’s devotion.
“You’re wrong, and I intend to keep trying to prove that. But for now, it’s getting late. They’ll come looking for you, if you don’t go back downstairs.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Me? I’m going to get my violin, lock myself in here and practice.” At least, he wanted to add, that’s something I know how to do. Erasing a lifetime of disillusionment would be another matter altogether.
Chapter Fifteen
For almost two hours he sought calm and balance in the music. As evidence of just how deeply Peg had affected him, he failed to find more than a return to reason. The impact of not only his desire for her and his recognition of how vulnerable she was, but his intensely emotional response to her, had shaken him badly. Most unsettling of all, he was eager for more of the same, which caused him to repeatedly lose focus as his mind wandered to where she might be just now and what she might be doing.
Impatiently laying aside his instrument, he stepped onto the balcony overlooking the dark garden below. The air, surprisingly fresh for a summer night in the city, touched his face and stirred through his hair as he inhaled deeply, releasing his breath in an audible sigh.
“Hi! Have you finished practicing?” He started, taking a step back at the sound of Peg’s voice from directly below. His eyes adjusting to the darkness, he could just make out a seated figure in the shadows.
“Good heavens! Are you still up?”
“Of course I am. I’m drying my hair. Have you finished? It was nice. I’ve been listening.” Still unable to make out her face, he smiled down nonetheless.
“Have you? Yes, I’m done for the night.”
“Then come down here. If you need a snack, there’s lemonade and cookies.” And you, he added. God help me, but what I need is you.
He forced himself to calmly pack the
violin and return it to his room, all the while telling himself that this time he would take control of the situation. In all of his encounters with women, he made it a rule never to let his emotions become engaged. Why should Peg, so obviously out of his reach, do what others, easily available and far more experienced, had not? He headed downstairs determined to prove that he could keep his head, see past the allure of youthful flirtation, and put her in her proper place before she ran roughshod over him again.
The sound of voices in the study warned him that the others were still up. At the foot of the stairs he turned sharply toward the rear of the house, very nearly colliding with his mother.
“Goodness, darling, you’re in a hurry!”
“Not really. Just heading to the kitchen for something cold to drink. You’re up past your bedtime, aren’t you?”
“Just going up now. Did you practice?” She leaned against the banister, settling in for a chat.
“Yes. And now please excuse me, Mum, but I’ll say goodnight. I really am parched.” He could feel her gaze following his rapid retreat toward the kitchen. Interrogation avoided for tonight, but at some point he’d have to face the inevitable. Eloise would not rest until she spoke her mind with regard to Peg and the time he was spending with her. Just how he would divert her from the truth, he hadn’t decided, but telling her anything close to the facts was out of the question.
The kitchen was deserted. Through the bay window, he spotted Peg reclining in a lounge chair, her hair draped over the back. His steps slowed as he took in the luxuriant waves all but touching the brick floor of the patio. He was captivated, imagining the silky strands sifting through his fingers, releasing the scent of lemons beneath his touch. “Steady, Gregg, steady. The night is young,” he muttered as he approached the door. A shiver of uncertainty crept along his spine. He was walking blithely into what might well be another ambush.
“There you are. I thought you’d decided not to come after all.” Peg raised a hand in greeting. “Help yourself. I’d get up, but I’m too comfortable.”