by Maree Green
I laughed. “How is that even possible? You can see the entire beach from here.”
Pulling back, he gave me a crooked smile. “There’s only one explanation. You must be a ninja. Please tell me you’re a ninja.”
“Uh-huh,” I said, rolling my eyes. “What’s the real reason?”
Chuckling, he towed me over to the sofa and pulled me down, into the cushions. “I’ve just been reading through some scenes. I received the shooting schedule for next month, so I thought I better start getting ready.”
I eyed the script with interest. I still found it hard to get my head to believe he was as famous as Ashley and Sarah made out. It was as though there were dots that needed to be connected, but my brain just couldn’t get them to line up enough to make a picture that made sense to me.
“Am I allowed to know what it is?” I asked, completely unsure of what the rules were with these things.
“Of course,” he said, picking up the script and sitting back beside me. “It’s called The Silver Gate, and it’s being directed by Steven Wilder. Have you heard of him?”
I nodded. “I haven’t seen any of his work, but I read the scripts to Spirit and Shadow Wars when I was studying a unit on screenplays,” I said, taking the script he was holding out and eagerly soaking in the lines.
Josh’s eyes sparked with intrigue. “You did? What did you think? I haven’t worked with him before, but Shadow Wars was the reason I decided to work with him on this one.”
“It read amazing. I’d love to see it now I’m back in the States,” I said, skimming through the first page in front of me.
“We’ll watch it tonight. It looks way better on the big screen, but you’ll love it.”
Catching the intensity of the scene, I narrowed my eyes. “This seems a bit different from the movies I watched the other night. Intentional move?”
He inhaled deeply, seeming nervous. “It is. Much to my manager’s distress, I changed directions last film. As much as I know everyone loves a nice, feel-good story, I was tired of doing the same thing over and over again. I wanted people to see I have more diversity than just being the guy who sweeps the girl off her feet all the time.”
That had my interest. “What was the last movie?”
“It’s called Willow’s Way. It was directed by Peter Lange. It only premiered last month.”
“Who wrote the screenplay?” I asked, wondering if I’d read any of their work.
“Scott Jennings,” he said, watching me carefully. “I think it was his first big picture. It was a good script too.”
Flicking through the pages, I caught the word kiss and my thoughts paused. Of course, I had watched Josh kiss a girl in all three movies the girls had made me watch, but knowing he was planning on leaving here—leaving me—to go make this movie and kiss another girl, caused a spark of jealousy to flare inside me. I took a moment to wonder why that was. Was it because I wanted him to be mine forever, or was it purely because I was sad things had to end and some other girl was going to get to kiss him when I wasn’t?
Pushing it all away before I got too depressed, I gave him a happy smile. “So, who else is in this movie?”
“Faron West and Hannah Bryant.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know why I asked. It’s not like one night of watching a bunch of movies is going to make me suddenly know who you’re talking about.”
Slowly, he took the script from me and placed it back on the table. Shifting on the sofa, he turned his full, intense attention on me before gently tucking my hair behind my ears. “It’s not important anyway. They’re just people. Like me. What do you want to do today?”
I pursed my lips as though I was thinking hard before nodding. “I could teach you some ninja moves?” I said, a grin pulling at the corner of my mouth. “Or I could help you improve your Mario Kart game?”
“Ohhh,” he said, his smile turning into a warning. “I can’t believe you just went there. Now you’re just asking for trouble.”
Pulling out my cell phone, I flipped the camera open. “Hold on, just let me document the moment you beg me for help.” Holding the phone up in selfie mode, I aimed, teasing. Then I remembered he was a celebrity and our time together was a secret and I probably shouldn’t be trying to document it in any way.
Lowering the phone, I went to apologize, but Josh snatched it out of my hands with a roll of his eyes. “You’re the worst documenter ever. Let me.”
Then he held it up and started taking a burst of pictures, pulling me closer, pressing his cheek to mine, making me laugh, then finally, kissing me smack on the lips. It started playful and fun for the camera, but as the kiss grew deeper, the sound of picture taking stopped, and I heard my phone being placed on the table. Before I could think of what was happening next, both his arms wound around me, and I found myself being pulled forward, until Josh was lying flat across the sofa and I was on top of him.
By the time he broke the kiss, I was breathless and wanting more, as usual, but he just smiled and looked up at me through his thick, dark lashes. “Mmm, you taste like strawberries.”
It was the last thing I’d expected him to say in that moment, so all I could do was throw my head back and laugh.
Digging his fingers back into my hair, he inhaled. “Let me taste you again. I’m addicted. I need my fix.”
But before he could bring me down to him and claim my mouth for his own, a beautiful butterfly with vibrant blue wings fluttered between us, dancing in the air around our heads, circling and sailing.
“Huh, would you look at that,” Josh said, his eyes dancing with the butterfly’s movements.
I smiled, my own gaze following her majestic movements. “You know, the people of Gulu believe butterflies are a symbol of good luck. They think if you see one, they bring transformation and joy into your life and a message to let you know you’re on the right path. They think its dance reflects our need for movement from where we are, to our next phase of being.”
Josh watched the butterfly with a peaceful glaze to his eyes. “Like a metamorphosis. I like that. Does that mean you’re going to grow your wings soon?” he asked, his gaze finding mine. “Where are you going to fly to, my little butterfly?”
The look in his eyes told me it could be as high as I could possibly dream. And in this moment, I believed it.
Chapter 38
Josh
As much as I’d been trying to avoid thinking about the day my summer vacation would end, it didn’t stop the time from flying by at an alarming pace. Now, as I sat curled up on the couch in the living room, Liv tucked perfectly into my arms, I had to face the fact that, first thing in the morning, I would be leaving. I didn’t like it.
I knew Liv wasn’t paying attention to the movie. No one was, really. Everyone knew what was coming, and the whole house felt like it was holding its breath.
During the week, Liv and I had talked a lot about what was to come. I’d been trying to let her know I’d like to keep in touch with her if she’d allow it. It probably would’ve been kinder for me to just let her go, but I’d established what kind of a person I was a number of weeks ago now, and it wasn’t selfless. Not that it mattered, anyway. Whenever I brought up the prospect of staying in touch, she seemed to avoid answering me in one way or another. I wasn’t sure what that meant. I hoped it wasn’t that she didn’t want to. I wasn’t sure what I would do with that.
Leaning forward, I whispered in her ear. “Stay with me tonight.”
It was silly of me to ask. We were leaving before the sun came up, but I needed to have her with me as long as I could.
Her gaze met mine, emotions swirling in their depths, making my heart feel heavy. She’d been like this all day, and it was hard for me to see, mostly because I knew it was my fault. She didn’t say anything in response. She just gave me a little nod, her gaze staying on mine instead of returning to the movie.
Sighing, I shifted, pushing her up to sit before standing and drawing her up with me. Taking her han
d, I met Corey’s gaze over her shoulder. “See you in the morning.”
Sympathy oozed from his every pore. “Night, Liv.”
“Bye, Liv,” Cain said, voicing what we’d all been avoiding.
Liv tensed, but she smiled just the same. It was a watered-down version of her normal smile, but it was more than I’d been expecting. “Bye, guys. See you in the morning.”
Amy stood and came over to draw Liv into a hug. “In case I miss you in the morning,” she said. “It was nice meeting you. Hopefully we’ll see you again one day.”
Giving Liv’s hand a quick squeeze, I pulled her away and led her up the stairs to my room, needing to have her to myself. Closing the door and turning the lights down low, I stopped in front of her and placed my fingers under her chin, tilting her face so I could see her clearer. “Are you okay?”
Her brow twitched with passing emotions before she inhaled. “I hate goodbyes.”
“I know.” And I did. She’d spoken of her dislike for them before, talking about the ones she’d had to make when she moved to Africa, and then again when she’d had to move back. This was why I’d decided to ask her to stay. We could say our goodbyes while we lay in the dark, holding each other. And then I could save her the pain and slip out before she woke. I just hoped she didn’t hate me for it.
Sliding the straps of her dress off her shoulders, I let it fall down her body until it pooled around her feet on the floor. Then, with gentle, slow movements, I moved my hands over her hips, drawing them around her waist and up her back, until I reached the clasp on her bra and flicked it open.
Liv’s breath deepened, her gaze watching me through hooded eyes. With careful hands, I slipped the straps of her bra down her arms, my fingers skimming over her soft skin with the most gentlest of touches. When her bra hit the floor, I slid one hand over her hip, and the other over the side of her neck, my fingers lacing through her hair at the back of her head, catching the weight as she tilted it back, exposing her neck to me, tempting.
I needed to be careful. This wasn’t the time to let myself lose control. Lowering my mouth to her neck, I breathed over her skin, inhaling her scent until it filled my senses, then I softly brushed my lips over the little spot I knew she loved, just below her ear. I gauged the level of intimacy by her body’s reactions, trying to find the right balance to not let things get too heavy.
Brushing kisses along her jaw, I hovered over her mouth, taking the time to remind myself to keep things sweet. “Come to bed,” I murmured. “I need to hold you.”
“Josh,” she whispered, “I’m sorry.”
I pulled back to ask her why, just as the first tear ran down her cheek. Drawing my thumb over her cheekbone, I kissed the path her tear had left. “Don’t be, beautiful. Come on.”
Moving her to the bed, I pulled back the covers and waited for her to climb in, then I stripped down to my boxers and climbed in after her. My bags had already been packed, and were out of sight in the garage, so I didn’t have anything to worry about other than this. I just wanted to be in this moment. Right here. Right now.
Dragging the covers back over us, I rolled onto my side and pulled her into me, tangling our legs together.
“Josh?” she said against my neck. Her voice was only the slightest bit unsteady.
“Yes, beautiful?”
“Thank you for spending this time with me,” she said softly. “I know you didn’t have to, and I know it must’ve taken a lot of trust for you to do it, so I wanted to let you know how happy I am that you took the time to get to know me.”
I squeezed her to me. She had no fucking idea at all. It may have taken a little trust on my part, but what she gave me was so much greater. She had given me my life back. Even if it was only for a little while. That was something I could never repay, and it was something I would never forget.
“Liv? Baby?” I said, running my fingers through her hair. “You’ve got it so wrong. So very wrong. Getting to know you—spending time with you? That was no sacrifice, beautiful. Meeting you here, on this beach, is something I’ll be forever grateful for. You’re my dream, Liv. You’re everything I didn’t know I wanted.”
I’d never spoken truer words. She really did make my dreams come to life, and I knew without a doubt that that’s where she would live the second I left. She would always be my dream.
Her breath hitched, causing my chest to tighten. It was the worst sound to me. I never wanted to hear it again. Kissing her forehead, I pulled her closer still. “Don’t cry, beautiful. Please don’t cry.”
She breathed deep, the sound shaky, but she pressed her lips to my chest and kissed me slowly. “Goodbye, Josh,” she whispered.
I was sure if I listened hard enough, I would’ve heard my heart crack.
Dream or no dream, I was officially broken.
Chapter 39
Olivia
The second I woke, my eyes flashed open with a dread that was borderline panic. It took less than a couple of seconds more for me to search the room in the soft light of the dawn and discover my distress was warranted. He was gone, and I was alone.
Emptiness spread through me as I sat, clutching the sheet to my chest. The silence cut me like a knife. With a heaviness in my heart, I looked around, searching for any signs that told me Josh had ever been here. Other than the slight lingering scent of his cologne, there was nothing. Just places that incited bittersweet memories from my soul.
Even though I knew there was a possibility he wouldn’t wake me when he left, I still wasn’t prepared for the emptiness I felt inside from his absence. I honestly didn’t think there was anything I could’ve done to prepare myself for that. It was a feeling I hadn’t experienced before, and it was so much more consuming than I ever thought it could be.
So, this was it. The end had finally come. It was an odd feeling, to spend so much time with someone, and then have it end so suddenly. I could see why some people equated break-ups with mourning. In a way, it was like a death. The death of a time when things were seemingly perfect.
I could also see how people reached out to those who’d left them behind, seeking the connection that had once been there as a comfort. Josh had hinted at me more than once that he would’ve liked to keep in touch when our summer was over, but something always told me to wait. That maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. Now, if I was to be honest with myself, I wasn’t sure my heart could handle it.
My body sagged as I stared across the room. I wished I could talk to him. Just one last time. As my gaze drew over to his side of the bed, it landed on a pretty pink flower resting on the bedside table. Underneath it was a folded piece of paper.
Drawing in a long, deep breath, I reached over and picked up the flower, holding it as though it was the most precious thing in the world, because to me, it was.
Clutching it before me, I closed my eyes and inhaled, drawing in its scent. Then I picked up the paper and read.
My beautiful Liv,
This is the hardest letter I’ve had to write. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever written a letter like this before. I don’t even know where to start. I guess the beginning would be best.
The first day I saw you, I knew you were going to change my life. You were so unexpected. A beautiful golden light that shone so brilliantly, I was sure it could touch people even when they were lost to darkness. To me, you’re like the butterfly we saw the other day. So delicate, yet so beautiful. So quiet and unassuming, yet so full of life, joy and happiness. Everyone you meet is a little better off for knowing you. I know I am.
I guess I just wanted to let you know how much the time we spent together meant to me, and how much you still mean to me. This business can be tough. When you have success, everybody wants a little piece of you. They take and take, until one day, you don’t know who you are anymore, and you become who they say you should be. Not only did you help me find the real me again, you accepted me for me, and maybe even liked me for me ;) And for that, I’ll be forever grateful. You
deserve nothing but the best of everything, Liv. I hope you know that.
Yours (seriously)
Josh xxx
I tried to be strong. I tried to lift my head and breathe deep, willing myself to accept what I knew had been coming for so long, but even though I could fool my face to remain expressionless, I couldn’t fool my heart. And she cried.
As the first tear slipped down my cheek, I took a breath. And then another. Why did he have to be so wonderful? Why did he have to write such nice words? I wanted to call him. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to say thank you. But, most of all, I wanted to tell him to come back.
And that was why I couldn’t keep in touch.
Climbing from the bed, I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The smell of Josh’s soap made my chest squeeze tight, but I wanted to do this. I wanted to walk away from here and still be able to feel him with me. Even if it was only his scent. And even if it was only for the day.
The next tear fell as I stepped under the flow of water. Then the next. And the next. I let the water wash over me, drenching my hair, falling down my face as it mixed with my tears and washed them away.
I could do this. I could move on. I just needed to let him go first. If I could only figure out how to do that, I’d be fine.
Rinsing my hair, I shut the water off and stepped from the shower. I went through the motions as though I was on autopilot, drying, dressing, and packing the few things I owned into my little calico bag. When I was done, I slung the bag onto my shoulder, picked up my little flower, and took a moment to appreciate the time I’d had. As much as it pained me now, I knew what we shared would always be something I’d look back on with love. He gave me my first taste of what dating could be like, and as far as firsts go, I knew I’d been pretty lucky.
Stepping toward the door, my hand closed around the handle. I was ready. My gaze drifted around the room, landing on the bed. The place he’d held me so carefully. I smiled and made to turn away, but then something caught my eye. One of Josh’s shirts—the one I’d worn the few times I’d slept here—was bunched under a pillow.