by Debra Kayn
Desperate to have him understand she was doing this for him, to give him back the life he deserved, to give him peace, she'd end up miserable for the rest of her life.
"Your parents are aging, baby. You need to go back and spend the time you have with them. You have a family who loves you, who miss you every day, and need answers. You left them without closure. They need to know you're happy and safe." She approached him. "Your family deserves to know the Raul I've come to love."
He grinned and cupped her cheek. "Mi vida, you're turning this into a fucking sob story. My dad retired out of the FBI. I followed his footsteps into the bureau. Though I regret being unable to tell them where I was going and what I'd be doing, I guarantee they know exactly what I'm doing and were prepared for the day I'd up and disappear on a case. To them, no news is good news. They know I'm okay. If I wasn't, someone in the department is required to let them know."
"Okay, but—"
"Crystal." He lowered his head and laid his forehead against hers. "I 'preciate what you're doing, but you're staying with me. I sent you away before, and regretted it. I almost killed any chance of getting you back. I'm not going to do that again."
"Raul…" She sagged against him. "You must go."
"Not letting you go, ever." He pulled back and grinned. "What's more important than you to me?"
Her heartbeat thrummed at twice the normal rate. Tears came to her eyes, and she stroked his cheek with her hand, loving him more than she had a right to. "Go home to your wife. I love you, but marriage is sacred. You need to return to your family and be the good man I know you to be to your wife…not me."
Raul rocked back on his heels at her announcement, looked at her out of the corner of his eyes as if he couldn't believe she'd tell him to leave, and then swayed away from her and walked to the front window with his back to her. She wrapped her arms around her middle. An ache low in the pit of her stomach squeezed her insides, reminding her of all that she was losing by pushing him away.
She'd never be the same. Her throat closed, trapping her breath. Life would go on, but she'd laugh less, smile dimmer, and never find the comfort she craved in his arms again.
"You have to see how it's impossible for us to be together," she whispered. "You belong to someone else, and I'd never be able to live with myself if I came between you and…and your wife. I love you too much to tie you here or—"
A low grunt came from Raul. She tilted her head. His shoulders shock and he groaned in pain. She blinked, sending the tears she'd held back down her cheeks. She was destroying everything they created together.
"Raul, please understand," she said on a sob. "Please."
He bent over at the waist, and then she heard more noise coming from him. She took a step toward him when he turned, threw back his head, and filled the room with his laughter.
She straightened her shoulders and dropped her hand from her chest. It was official. She'd made him insane.
His eyes danced with amusement and he gasped for breath in between long jags of laughter. Confused over what he found so funny, she waited for him to explain himself. Thirty seconds later, she'd had enough.
"This isn't funny," she said.
He nodded and stifled his laughter. "You're giving me back to my wife?"
"Yeah." She crossed her arms.
"My wife?"
She closed her eyes a beat and opened them again. "Yes," she bit off.
He stalked across the room and planted his feet in front of her. "When the hell did I get married?"
"I-I don't know. Before you joined the Lagsturns." She lifted her chin. "I heard Garcia the day you got shot. He knew about your real identity and I put everything together. You left behind a wife."
He shook his head. "Right."
"Listen." She braced his face, making him acknowledge the truth. "I get that you were lonely. You'd been with the Lagsturns a long time before you met me. You were out of your element, thinking you'd be on the case for many more years, and you grew weak."
He jerked back out of her grasp. "Weak? Son of a bitch. You seriously believe this shit?"
"Stop denying it," she said.
He tilted his head to the side, stretching his muscles, left, right, and then grew serious. "I'm not married. Never have been. There's no wife in my past. Hell, I didn't even leave a girlfriend behind, because I was busy training myself to step into the biker world. This whole conversation comes down to you grabbing on to what Garcia stated when he was trying to get me to slip up against what you know. Have I ever given you any inclination I was holding back from having you in my life?"
"But—"
He lunged, capturing her lips, shutting off her excuse, her denial. She froze, then she snapped to attention and the moment he opened her mouth and their tongues touched, she clung to him, taking his kiss, needing him more than the truth.
The heady scent of Raul filled her senses. She closed her eyes, wanting to push out the outside world and capture the invisible bond that kept them linked. No matter if they were apart, this connection remained between them, always present, always pushing them back to being together. He consumed her thoughts, her feelings, and desires.
He slipped his hand under her shirt and sprawled his rough fingers over her bare back. The first easy breath of the last week swept through her body. She was alive, and Raul was right here with her.
He eased away from her mouth with little kisses. She panted. "Raul, we have so much ahead of us. I don't know what to do to fix everything."
"Don't worry about us. That's my job." He kissed the tip of her nose. "Trust me."
Chapter Twenty-Six
Three weeks later, Raul walked downstairs into the lobby of the club. Crystal set down the prospect's cut she promised to sew the new patch on and watched him stalk across the room. Something was off. He seemed at ease, lighter, and determined.
Then she spotted what he held in his hand.
"No way." She jumped off the bar stool, reaching for the keys to his motorcycle.
He raised his hand high in the air out of her reach, and snagged her around the waist with his other arm. Then he kissed her full on the lips to the cheers of Big Joe and Nichols. "We're going riding."
She shook her head. "It's too early. You're supposed to go to the doctor next week to make sure you're all healed before you ride."
"Don't need no doctor to tell me I'm okay to ride, mi vida." He pulled her tight against him and lifted her off her feet as he strode to the door with her in his embrace. "Best medicine in the world is you, the wind on my face, and my Harley between my legs. There's nothing more a man needs."
She couldn't argue with him there. Change a Harley for Raul between her legs, and she'd swear she discovered the miracle drug to cure everything that ailed her.
Knowing she couldn't fight him or keep him off the motorcycle, she stood beside him after he set her on her feet and threw his leg over the bike. He tipped the motorcycle, and she climbed on behind him. Someone had to keep him from overdoing it and she had to admit, she was anxious to get back to riding too.
"Ready?" He gazed over his shoulder grinning.
The happiness in his smile and the excitement over riding had her returning the grin. "All right, baby. Let's roll."
The engine roared to life. The accustomed rumbles from the engine shook the frame, vibrating the seat. She warmed and wrapped her arms around Raul's back. He was right. There really wasn't a better place to be than facing the wind and no endpoint in sight.
He'd explained how the gypsy lifestyle always called him, even when he was a young boy. Rules and boundaries set before him that were too tempting not to break, and a motorcycle gave him the key to the world. How she had the same cravings for freedom, she'd never know.
Maybe the restrictions she faced in her childhood set her up for life in the MC or her desire to flip off society and be a free spirit was finally coming out.
It wasn't exactly easy being the perfect child. She'd failed in more than one way.
She leaned into the corner as Raul rode out on the road and joined traffic. Her desire came in the form of escape. Out here, no one judged her. She only knew that she was exactly where she wanted to be.
Raul took his hand off the handlebar and pointed ahead. She patted his stomach twice in agreement. Out of town seemed like the perfect destination to get away for a little while.
The farther they traveled, the looser Raul's body became. She leaned against his back, putting her chin to his shoulder. Her mind blank, except with thought of the man in front of her.
At the edge of town, in front of the Roadside motel, she spotted Jones sitting on his bike with Layrd and Tango, standing around drinking beer. Raul put his arm down, opening his hand, in a show of solidarity. The three members lifted their chin in acknowledgement of their president. She smiled and squeezed Raul. These people were their family.
More than anything, after the takedown of Garcia, she'd allowed herself to think of them as the people she depended on and relied on their support. She accepted that they'd always be there for her, even if she always felt she was holding back on them by keeping her past to herself.
Twenty minutes later, Raul pulled off the main road and continued down a gravel strip beside the State Park. She laughed, letting the sound trickle away in the wind. It'd been a year since Raul brought her here, but making love on top of the world would remain in her mind for a long, long time.
He came to a stop and shut off the engine. She hopped off the motorcycle and hurried to the edge of the cliff. Dizzying at fifteen hundred feet above Black Stone Lake, she peered down at the vibrant colors below. One of the darkest lakes in the area, because of the alkaline sediments at the bottom, the water mirrored the green trees and vibrant brush at the water's edge making an exquisite picture she could stare at all day.
"God, it's beautiful," she said, sitting down on the ground.
She scooted to the edge of the cliff and dangled her feet over the side. Practically a straight drop down, she could see everything from her position.
"Dammit, woman," Raul said.
She looked behind her. Raul bent his knees, leaned over and inched his way to her. She held out her hand, and laughed softly when he grasped onto her and stepped the rest of the way to the edge.
He sat behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against his chest and tucking her in front of him. "Not so close."
She laid her head back in the comfort of his embrace. "Big, bad biker afraid of heights," she said with a smile. "I think I like that about you the most."
He grunted. "Liar."
She turned her head and peered up at him. "It's true. You always seem so confident and capable of doing whatever you want. I admire that about you. I wish I were more confident and faced situations straight on. Maybe then I wouldn't second guess myself or get in trouble as much as I do."
He kissed her lips. "You're perfect the way you are."
"Ha. Far from it, but I love that you think that." She settled back in position and stared at the view.
Long minutes passed, and Raul broke the silence. "In a couple of days, we'll be riding out to Nevada."
She stiffened. "For…?"
He moved his hand and cupped her breast, holding her more securely. "It's time to let the world know that the woman I love is alive, and she's mine."
She shook her head. "No."
"Yeah."
She tugged his hand down and held it between hers. "There's no reason for me to make an announcement any longer. You were right. The Lagsturns haven't questioned what went down in Arizona. There's been no threat to the MC over what happened between you and Garcia. The less attention we put on us, the safer we'll stay. I'm happier than I've ever been since we got back. We're getting along, minding our own business, and the club is settled. There's no reason to beg for trouble, and letting everyone know I'm the long dead daughter of Pastor Donaldson will create a shitstorm in everyone's life, especially ours."
"Mi vida." He sighed. "Do it for me."
She winched. "You're not playing fair."
"I've ran for too long. First to hide my identity, then to keep myself alive. I'll keep us both ahead of what happens, but I won't have us held back by the fear that you'll destroy us if the truth comes out."
"It's not all that," she muttered. "I'll be destroying my parents' livelihood too. Despite everything, they are my parents. There's a…nevermind."
"What?"
"I don't know. I guess deep down I thought a perfect time or occasion would come and I'd be able to prove I was right." She let her head fall back on Raul. "Then there's part of me that wants to make them proud of me. I want to shove it in their face that I succeeded without any help from them, but I know that'll never happen. They were never the parents that gave me credit. If something special happened in my life like getting an award at school or being voted homecoming queen, they used the occasion to validate their parental skills at raising a good girl."
Raul scoffed. "The hell with them. You deserve everything you've got, Crystal Sanchez."
"What?" She frowned and gazed over her shoulder again. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me." He chuckled. "I'm telling you if you go back to Nevada, make it known who you are and allow yourself the right to live your life without hiding, I'm going to marry you."
"Tell me you're not trying to blackmail me to get me to agree to that stupid plan," she whispered, dead serious. "The answer is no. Absolutely freaking no."
He hooked her leg, rolled, and hovered on top of her before she could stop him. "You're my woman."
"You're my man." She held on to his shirt. "See? What we have is good. Nothing needs to change."
"I want it to change." He lowered himself onto her and kissed her neck.
She wrapped her legs around his hips and closed her eyes. Everything was perfect. She saw no reason to create more turmoil in their lives. Inviting her parents to invade their happiness with their spouts of living in sin, and claims of her cruising the road to hell, would ruin everything.
Raul had no idea what would come of going to Nevada.
Raul's fingers undid the snap on her shorts. She lifted her hips, and he dragged the material off her legs, taking her panties with him. He kneeled between her legs reached into his back pocket and tossed a packaged condom on her stomach. She ripped it open with her teeth, while he undid his belt, his zipper, and finally pushed his jeans down his hips. She handed him the protection, and then ran her hands up his chest, being careful of his shoulder.
"Are you hurting," she asked.
"Nah." He lifted her tank and growled.
He leaned down and kissed her bare stomach. She sucked in a breath, barking a laugh when he blew a raspberry against her skin. She loved the time they'd had together since he finished his job with Garcia. Life had slowed down, and gone from chaos to normal—at least normal at the MC, where everyone seemed to come and go around the clock. She'd found Raul had a playful side she never suspected before.
"Ticklish," he mumbled against her skin, working his way to her bra.
He bit the edge of the material and dragged it down with his teeth, only to have the cup of her bra pop back in place. Warmth filled her chest. She enjoyed his frustration, but she was impatient and liked what he was doing. She reached down and uncovered her upper body for him. She sighed as the weight of her breasts lay heavy and free. The breeze sweeping off the lake and rolling over the cliff cooled her off from the attention Raul gave her.
He took her nipple in his mouth. She shivered in delight. The suction and heat from his lips heightened her arousal. She threaded her fingers through his hair, holding him to her. The pressure from his cock against her wetness left her wanting more.
Her hips rose, seeking him. He nipped her nipple. She jolted and moaned in pleasure when he quickly stroked his tongue over the sensitive nub. Hot and cold. Good and bad. He gave her a little of everything to keep her excited.
He adjusted his position, putting his har
dness at the entrance of her pussy and slowly thrust inside of her. She moaned. The sound foreign out in the open, on the cliff, she wasn't sure it was her making all that noise or the echoes coming back at her.
She opened her eyes, and all she could see was the dimming blue sky awash with a curtain of wispy clouds above her. With Raul deep inside of her, his strength surrounding her, lying close to the sky, the moment opened her soul. She had everything she wanted right here.
"Good." Raul raised his head and captured her mouth.
She kissed him back with the veracity of a woman afraid to lose the very thing that made life worth living. She ground her hips against him, pleasure whirling inside of her. Her pussy spasmed, squeezing him every time he thrust balls deep.
"Harder." She kissed his jaw law, until she reached his ear. "Fuck me."
He pushed off his elbows, and put his hands above her shoulders. She gazed into his eyes. Warm eyes that stared intently back at her, melting her into one big ball of pleasure.
She grabbed his ass, pulling herself onto him with each of his thrust. In. Out. In. Out.
Sweat beaded his forehead. She gasped, shocked when his cock stroked her deep inside and she felt everything and nothing all at the same time.
"Right—her eyelids fluttered—there."
The grass underneath her kept Raul from moving her across the earth with the power of his thrusts. She set the rhythm, matching Raul's strokes. Her core curled tighter and exploded in pleasure. Her upper body pitched itself off the grass with the power of her climax and she screamed her release.
Raul thrust once, twice, and plunged into her, holding still and groaning as he climaxed. His cock pulsed inside of her, and her body answered in reply. Gentle spasms rocked her body, squeezing every bit of pleasurable energy out to her limbs.
She sank back in the grass, inhaling a shuddering breath. Raul stayed inside of her, rolling her to her side and holding her against his chest. His heart raced against her cheek.
"Every single time." He kissed the top of her head. "Rocks my world."