by Megan Linden
“Are you kidding me?”
“I wouldn’t!” Bill protested before Roy could get going. “I wouldn’t, damn it, and you know that. But the idea”—he cleared his throat—“wasn’t unappealing.”
Roy wanted to roll his eyes and call him an idiot but then the scene appeared in his head uninvited and, well… He’d never considered himself an exhibitionist, and he wouldn’t actually have gone for it, but the fantasy? The fantasy was hot.
And he couldn’t unsee it now. He wasn’t in the empty waiting room anymore. He was at the diner, letting his dream scenario take over.
Bill would be there, kissing him hard before turning Roy around and telling him to spread his legs and put his hands on the table. Then he would push inside him, pressing his body against Roy’s back and fuck him until they would both forget about other patrons.
All but one.
Because Adrian would be there, too, watching. And he wouldn’t be heartbroken. No, he would be…fascinated. He’d stare at them like he couldn’t turn away, and the fire in his eyes would be full of heat and desire, not pain.
And Roy would come, looking back into those pale green eyes.
Well, fuck.
Chapter Six
Bill pushed Roy against the door as soon as it closed behind them, and he pressed his body flush against Roy’s.
It had been way too long since they had come back home like this last time. And maybe it was all the leftover adrenaline after the day they’d had or the fact that they hadn’t had sex in a few days, but Bill didn’t much care about what had caused it. They were both already hard, and he groaned into Roy’s neck before licking over his pulse point.
“Bedroom,” Roy demanded, pushing him away, and Bill was on board. He took off his jacket in the hall and loosened his tie, tossing both on the armchair as soon as he stepped into the room. He turned to face Roy and watched him hurry to take his clothes off.
There were times when Bill wanted to do it slowly, to be the one to pull every piece off Roy, but not right now. At this moment, he couldn’t wait to get naked and have his equally naked partner under him on their bed.
When he got his wish, he rolled his hips down to rub their cocks together and watched Roy throw his head back against the sheets. Bill could never resist Roy’s exposed neck, so he leaned forward to bite Roy there before sucking at the skin, pulling the blood right under the surface, feeling it hot and pulsing—and calling for him.
Then he moved to brush his nose over Roy’s ear.
“You liked the idea,” he whispered, positioning himself over Roy so he could rest on one elbow and slowly move the other hand down Roy’s chest. He flicked his nipple with the blunt nail of his thumb again and again, and Roy arched his back.
“Fuck.”
“Admit it,” Bill whispered and licked over the shelf. “You wanted to be angry at me, but once you imagined it…”
“Yes, okay?” Roy clasped his hands over Bill’s hips and pulled him closer. “It was hot.”
“What was?” Bill angled his hips away and Roy huffed in apparent frustration. His cock was hard and leaking already, and Bill knew Roy wanted him to fuck him, but he had other plans for now. “Tell me.” He pushed his thigh farther between Roy’s legs to tease his balls. “What was hot about it?”
“You fucking me, like you should be doing right now.” Roy tilted his head, exposing the other side of his neck. Fuck. Bill wasn’t the only one who knew his partner’s weak spots.
He flicked Roy’s nipple harder and Roy groaned.
“What did we do?” Bill insisted. “Did I fuck you on the table? On the floor? Were you on your hands and knees or—”
“Against the table. Fuck.” Roy let out a shuddered breath when Bill rewarded him by clasping his cock in his fist. “You were behind me, pounding into me.”
“Good. That’s what I was imagining, too.” Bill licked over Roy’s ear again then flipped them so they were lying on their sides with Bill plastered against Roy’s back, his cock slipping between Roy’s ass cheeks. Then he leaned in and lowered his voice. “Was there someone watching us?”
Roy froze before shaking his head. “Quit fucking around and actually fuck me,” he said and pushed his ass back.
“I will.” Bill licked the side of Roy’s neck. “But you need to answer my question first.” He took Roy’s cock in his hand again but kept his grasp loose, not enough for what he knew Roy needed right now. “Was there someone watching us?”
“Most people faded away,” Roy gasped out. “They didn’t matter.”
Bill tightened his grip, swiping his thumb over Roy’s cockhead. “Who did?”
He knew. He was sure he knew what name would fall from Roy’s lips any second now.
And it did.
“Adrian.”
Roy arched when Bill bit his shoulder at the same time as he twisted his hand on the upstroke, just like Roy liked it. A gift for honesty.
Bill didn’t realize he was shaking until Roy grasped his forearm. He stilled and inhaled deeply, surrounding himself with Roy’s familiar scent and trying to sort through the onslaught of conflicted feelings.
He’d known what he was going to hear. He’d known. He’d pushed because he needed it out in the open—needed it right then and there.
But now that it had happened, he didn’t know what to do.
Roy pushed his arm away and turned around to face him before Bill could protest.
“You asked.”
Bill wasn’t sure if it was meant as an accusation or an explanation, but there was also a hint of fear in Roy’s voice.
Maybe neither of them knew how to deal with this.
Bill nodded, exhaling slowly and staring at Roy’s neck then met his gaze again. “I did. And I—I knew what you were going to say.”
Roy curled his hand against Bill’s chest. “Why do this then?” he asked.
“We can’t hide from it anymore.”
And as he said it, he knew it was the truth. After what had happened today, after meeting Adrian, there was no way they could just go on like they had been.
“I thought it would be easier like this,” Bill admitted.
Some of the lines on Roy’s face smoothened out and disappeared. There was even a hint of smile around his lips. “You thought it would be easier to deal with this through sex?”
“Wishful thinking, maybe?” Bill rolled to lie on his back.
“Well, it turned to an erection killer instead,” Roy said, leaning on his side and resting his head on Bill’s chest as he met his gaze.
Bill ran his fingers over his lover’s back, watching him carefully. “It wasn’t at the time.” Because he knew his instincts were right—he knew Roy had found it hot. What was more surprising was that he did, too.
Roy must have seen something on his face because he lifted his head and tilted it slightly to the side. “For me or—?”
“Both of us, I guess.”
Roy didn’t even blink for a long moment. “Oh.”
Bill’s chuckle came out a little breathless. “Yeah, oh.”
“But if you”—Roy waved his hand—“too, then why did you—?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged, lowering his gaze to Roy’s neck. He honestly didn’t know. He hadn’t had a plan in place when he’d started it. He’d thought he would just see where it would take them.
“Was it anger?” Roy pressed. “Repulsion?”
Bill shook his head. He wasn’t angry and he sure wasn’t repulsed.
“Hurt?” Roy’s question was whispered this time.
Was he hurt? Bill rubbed his chest, right next to where Roy was lying on him.
“More like…scared, I guess.”
Roy’s sharp intake of breath and the pain Bill saw in Roy’s eyes made him regret the whole thing. He should have just kept his mouth shut and had a good time. Too late now, though.
“It’s f—”
“If you tell me it’s fine, I’ll kick your ass,” Roy warned him then pushed himself on his
elbow.
“You may try,” Bill tried for a joke to lighten the mood, but Roy was having none of it.
“You were scared,” he said slowly, looking at Bill as if he were searching for something.
“Not…” Bill sighed and pushed himself up and leaned against the headboard. Roy sat up as well, cross-legged and facing him. “I didn’t know, before, that there was a part of me that was afraid of this,” Bill finally admitted. “I told you the truth earlier. I mostly found it hot.”
“And what are you…? What’s that ‘part of you’ afraid of, exactly?”
Bill could hear the air quotes in Roy’s voice and it almost made him smile. Almost.
“What do you think?” he asked instead. Because now that Bill realized that he was scared, the reason was pretty easy to figure out.
“You have to know that’s bullshit,” Roy said after a long silence, and Bill snorted, shaking his head.
“Do I?”
“Fuck, Billy…” Roy’s voice wavered at the name he hadn’t used in years.
It made Bill’s breath stuck somewhere in his throat. A second later, he had a lap full of a hot, naked man who was clinging to him with enough strength to punch the air out of his lungs. He hugged him back almost as strongly and pressed his face into Roy’s neck, nuzzling a little to calm himself.
They sat like that for a long while. Bill didn’t remember the last time he’d felt so calm, so settled. Maybe they’d not only had less sex lately but had also touched each other less in general?
When Roy pulled back, he didn’t go far. He grasped Bill’s face between his hands and looked him in the eye. The grayish-blue of Roy’s irises seemed always changing, but now it was shining.
“I will never, as long as I’m still breathing, leave you,” Roy said, punching the air out of Bill’s lungs again, only this time with words. “Never.”
Bill nodded, fighting the sudden tightness in his throat. They’d been together, one way or another, for so long now that most of the time he didn’t even think about the possibility of that ever changing. Roy was it for him. He had no doubt about that.
But sometimes… Sometimes he had to wonder. Sometimes there was this little voice inside him, reminding him that Roy had refused to mate with him, to take that final step.
“Billy.”
And there was this name again, said in a gentle tone either of them rarely used. It forced him to look back at his partner.
Roy brushed his thumbs over Bill’s cheeks. “I swear to you,” he whispered. “Nothing and no one is a good enough reason for me to leave you. Damn it, there is no reason, okay?”
“There’s Adrian.”
The words hurt coming out, but Bill hadn’t come this far, hadn’t opened himself up like this only to back away before the final jump.
Roy put their foreheads together, closing his eyes. Bill watched him and waited, as he kept running his hands up and down Roy’s lower back.
“Whatever Adrian is, he will never be the reason for me to leave you,” Roy finally whispered then pulled back and looked at Bill again. “I’ve told you this already, but maybe I should’ve done a better job of making sure you know. Ten years ago, I came back for you. I stayed for you. As much as I love this town and this pack, I’m here because of you.”
“Have you ever regretted it?” Bill whispered.
Roy bit his lower lip. “Did I ever regret you? No. Not once.” He sighed, glancing away for a second. “I do regret leaving him behind, though.”
Bill wanted to pull back, move away, but Roy’s weight kept him in place.
He closed his eyes then. “How does it even…?” How does it even work? How does it even make sense?
“I don’t know,” Roy admitted as he ran his fingers over Bill’s face. “I do know that I love you. I know that I’ve never regretted loving you or being with you, or…choosing you. It didn’t even feel like a choice back then. I couldn’t stay in San Francisco because I had to come back here. That was it. But I also know that it hurt, leaving him there. It hurt not having him.”
Bill opened his eyes because he couldn’t ignore the pain in Roy’s voice, even if he was hurting, too.
“And now he’s here,” he whispered when Roy fell silent. Because whether either of them wanted or not, it wasn’t just something that had happened ten years ago anymore. Now it was something that had happened today—something that was still happening, because Adrian was still here, stuck in Hills for two, maybe three weeks, thanks to his injury.
“It was like a punch to the gut to see him,” Roy said, his gaze stuck somewhere along Bill’s collarbone. “I just had to—had to see him, talk to him.” He grimaced. “I don’t know.”
“It was like a punch to the gut when I saw the two of you together, too. I’m not proud of how I acted.” Bill shook his head. “I admit that there was a part of me that wanted to hurt him, but it didn’t feel right,” he admitted. “I didn’t like seeing him hurt.”
“You saved him later.”
Bill shrugged. “Instinct.”
Roy brushed his thumbs over Bill’s cheeks once more then hooked them under his chin and forced him to meet his gaze again. “What happens now?”
The weight of that look—love, and fear, but also trust that he was going to have the right answer—sat heavily on Bill’s shoulders. He wished he knew what to say, but he didn’t.
He ran a hand up and down Roy’s back. Maybe all he had to do for now was listen to his instincts. “How about we just stay like this for a little while?”
They needed this—the closeness, the press of their bodies against each other, the touch that was no longer sexual but still was as intimate as it could be.
Roy nodded and leaned to nuzzle Bill’s neck. “As long as you want,” he whispered with his lips on Bill’s skin.
Chapter Seven
“Fuck, damn it!”
The phone that fell from his hand landed right next to the small table. Normally, he wouldn’t even blink, but he’d just put his ankle in a position that wasn’t either uncomfortable or painful. He’d planned to rest and relax instead of staring at the walls in his room, feeling sorry for himself.
And now he had to dive under his chair to get his phone.
Or not. He could leave it there. If he needed to call someone, then he would try to get it.
Abandoning it for the time being, he rested his head on the chair cushion and closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. He wondered if it was normal to smell the forest so strong or was it him, a total big-city boy. Patrick could smell it as well, but as a werewolf, he wasn’t an appropriate comparison.
Adrian opened his eyes and looked around. He was out on the small back porch, facing the yard shared by the dozen or so apartments just like Patrick’s. Behind the yard, there was a wall of trees—the edge of the forest coming right up to the back gate.
There were two women sitting on the bench next to the sandbox where their two kids were making a castle and an old couple, a man and a woman, playing cards on the porch on the far left. That was it. Everyone else was probably at work or in school. He’d noticed that the noise didn’t really pick up before four around here, reaching the loudest level around seven or eight when most people seemed to gather on the yard. It was like an everyday barbecue party.
“Werewolves tend to gravitate toward other people,” Patrick had told him with a shrug when Adrian had pointed it out the previous night.
“So the noise doesn’t bother you?”
“No. It’s soothing, actually.”
“Soothing?” Adrian shook his head. “And here I thought I’d figured out the reason why you’d managed to rent it online for so little.”
Patrick shrugged, pointing the neck of his bottle at him. “It is the reason, I think. The previous tenants were human.”
As loud as it got in the evening, during the morning and early afternoon the area was quiet and Adrian enjoyed the silence. Today was the first day when he’d ventured out onto the porch on his own, thou
gh, since for the initial couple of days he’d been glued to his bed. Then he’d advanced to the living room, and now, here he was. He had his laptop and his e-reader, as well as a pitcher of iced tea and some coconut cookies Patrick had bought earlier in the day during a grocery run before another meeting with the Alpha. Adrian was set and ready to spend a couple of hours resting out in the open.
But no matter how much he tried, he found it hard to focus on the book he was reading. The women on the bench were doing a bad job of pretending they weren’t talking about him, if the staring was any indication. He caught them glancing over a few times and they would turn away, only to turn again when they thought he wouldn’t notice.
He’d hoped people around here would be over him by now. It had been almost a week and he’d figured the story about what had happened in the diner would be old news, but no, apparently not.
He wondered now if Patrick was lying to him or did he have it easier than Adrian, because according to what his friend had told him, everyone had gotten used to Patrick pretty fast and no one even mentioned the diner situation anymore.
Meanwhile, Adrian was out here now, getting looks.
But when he lifted his gaze next time, the women weren’t staring at him. Their gazes were fixed somewhere on his left and he followed them, curious as to what— Oh.
Roy was standing at the edge of the yard with his hands in his pockets and a suit jacket thrown over his forearm and he was staring straight at Adrian, whose heart jumped into overdrive.
He sat up straighter—wincing at the shot of pain as his ankle protested—and watched Roy moving through the yard. The guy even smiled and nodded at the women on the bench, as if he didn’t care that he was fueling the rumors back up.
He paused right in front of Adrian.
“Hey. I wanted to check how you’re doing. I hope it’s okay.”
Roy acted as if this was casual, as if they were friends, as if they talked regularly and had not spent the last ten years yearning for what they couldn’t have.
Scratch that last one. That’s just me.
“Hey,” Adrian finally said, putting his e-reader down. “I’m fine. It’s healing well.” He looked at his foot. “I still try to put as little weight on it as possible, but I’m walking around more.” And I’m trying not to think about you—or Bill. Or you and Bill.