Redefining Home

by Megan Linden

  He’d had a few serious boyfriends in the past and he’d thought he knew the difference between the sex that was about getting off and the sex that meant something. But now, after the hands-down best sex of his life, everything seemed to be rearranging in his head.

  Was it because of Roy, a man whom he had been missing for the last ten years? Was it because there were three of them instead of two? Adrian had never had a threesome before, so he didn’t have anything to compare it to. Perhaps Roy and Bill were just that good in bed?

  Adrian didn’t know. But the questions and worries were slipping in, pushing the much more pleasant thoughts and sensations aside.

  Then someone pinched his nipple and he opened his eyes, only to see Bill leaning on his elbow next to him, grinning, and Roy mirroring his pose on Adrian’s other side. Because that was the thing, too. After they’d come, he’d somehow ended up between them, and after a lazy clean-up, they’d sandwiched him, linking their hands over his stomach.

  Adrian liked the weight of their arms holding him down, grounding him.

  But as he was getting lost in his own head again, he didn’t notice Roy taking his hand away until he pinched Adrian’s other nipple, bringing him at once back to here and now.

  “We’re checking to make sure you’re alive,” Roy teased, but he was also brushing his thumb in circles around Adrian’s nipple now, so he was forgiven.

  “Barely,” he muttered, tilting his head back on the pillow, trying to relax a muscle in his neck.

  Bill and Roy both inhaled sharply, and Adrian snapped his gaze back to them, looking from one to the other. “What?”

  “It’s just”—Roy hesitated—“when you tilted your head, you exposed your neck. And presenting your neck to a werewolf like that…”

  Oh. “Oh.”

  Roy gave him a quirked smile and a shrug. “Yeah.”

  Adrian bit his lower lip to hide his smirk as the idea came to him. “So, if I do this…” he said, tilting his head back as far as he could then waited.

  Bill moved first, nosing along the side of Adrian’s neck before lapping at it with his tongue. Then he started to suck right below the jawline and Adrian moaned.

  Roy was there a moment later, dropping a line of kisses on his side of Adrian’s neck.

  His side. Fuck. Adrian had already assigned them their fucking spaces on his body. But before he could freak out about it, they both bit him at the same time and all thoughts flew out of his head. He was getting hard again, too.

  He grabbed their hands resting on his chest and pushed them down his stomach and farther, to his cock. Roy licked the mark he’d undoubtedly just put on Adrian and chuckled, the hot puff of air sending a shiver down Adrian’s body. Meanwhile, Bill wrapped his fingers around Adrian’s slowly hardening cock, making him gasp.

  They were going to kill him, but this would be totally worth it, as far as causes of death went.

  Roy tangled his fingers together with Bill’s and they were now jacking Adrian off together with slow but sure strokes. They pulled back from his neck and Adrian watched them look at each other. Then Roy smiled and leaned over Adrian.

  “Come here.”

  Bill met him halfway, licking into Roy’s mouth without hesitation, and Adrian stared at them, kissing over his chest. There was something soft and unhurried about it. When Adrian and Roy had kissed, there had been ten years’ worth of emotions and tension. When Bill had kissed Adrian, it had been demanding and hot. This kiss, though… This kiss was two people who didn’t have to prove anything, didn’t have to question anything. This kiss was another one out of thousands of others just like it.

  Adrian felt a pang in his chest and closed his eyes. Then Bill and Roy parted and a second later Bill was back, nuzzling Adrian’s neck as Roy caught his nipple between his teeth. They didn’t stop jacking him off, either, and Adrian let himself surrender to the feeling of them all around him, overwhelming his senses.

  “I want to suck you off,” he mumbled, not really caring which one of them would take him up on it. If he could suck them both off at the same time, he would.

  “Mmm.” Bill lifted his head, looking down at him with his lips puffed and his dark eyes staring as if he could read him like a book whether Adrian wanted it or not. “How about you fuck Roy while he sucks me off?”

  The shiver that ran through Adrian was impossible to hide. Fuck, yes, was the only answer he could give, and Bill seemed to pick up on it, because he turned to Roy.

  “What do you say?”

  “‘Hell yes’ is what I say.” Roy sat up, letting go of Adrian’s cock. “How are we doing this?”

  Bill ran a hand from Adrian’s groin up his stomach and chest, flat palm rubbing his skin. He put pressure on it as he paused at Adrian’s sternum, as if he was keeping him down on the bed. And just like back on that street after the accident, Adrian went with it without thinking, relaxing farther against the sheets.

  “The one with the healing injury,” Bill said, raising his eyebrows as if daring Adrian to protest, “should probably stay where he is. How about you ride him and I’ll get on my knees where I am?” he suggested, indicating the place at Adrian’s side.

  “Fuck, it’s so hot when you say things like that,” Roy said in low voice, exactly what Adrian was thinking.

  He was pretty sure he could come from Bill describing his plans for the three of them fucking in various positions and configurations alone, especially the ones that included ‘I’ll get on my knees’.

  Roy needed a minimal amount of prep since he was still loose, and soon he was lowering himself on Adrian’s cock with a big grin on his face. He dropped the smile a moment later as he groaned, throwing his head back.

  Bill put his hand right there at the nape of Roy’s neck a second later and, fuck, Adrian couldn’t look away. With one hand clasped on Roy’s thigh, Adrian reached with the other to splay his fingers over Bill’s ass as he kneeled next to him.

  It earned him a smirk from the guy and a short, hard kiss. Then Roy started to move, rolling his hips, and Adrian moaned into Bill’s mouth.

  “I was supposed to be s-sucking something here,” Roy told them, voice breaking at the edges. “Give me some room.”

  Bill straightened but kept a hand on the side of Adrian’s neck. He was now holding them both by their necks and Adrian found it hotter than it had any right to be.

  “Have at it,” Bill told Roy, nodding at his erection. He was big. Adrian wondered how it would feel in his mouth—or in his ass.

  Roy moaned as he leaned forward, the change of angle probably making Adrian’s cock slide against Roy’s prostate. Adrian pushed up, wanting to repeat it, and Roy started to swear as he clenched around him.

  They weren’t coordinated or anything, with Roy almost gagging on Bill’s cock as Adrian hit his prostate again and with Adrian’s ankle that didn’t let him leverage his body as much as he wanted to.

  But it was still hot as hell. Roy was riding him in short, fast movements and Bill tightened his grip on their necks whenever Roy would hollow his cheeks and suck harder. Then Roy came, spilling over Adrian’s torso and clenching around him, igniting his orgasm, as well. Bill finished himself off with his hand and shot over Adrian’s skin, too, adding to the mess Roy had already left there.

  Adrian barely registered what happened next. He kept his eyes closed as his breathing went back to normal, and he didn’t open them when the bed dipped to his left. From the sounds of it, Roy went to the bathroom. Bill settled next to Adrian and kept his hand flat on his stomach, fingers brushing lightly over the evidence of their mind-blowing sex.

  “It’s going to be itchy,” Adrian muttered, scrunching his nose, but Bill just huffed on his shoulder.

  “Smells good.”

  Adrian drifted off before Roy even returned to bed.

  * * * *

  When he woke up, there were two arms keeping him down, tangled over his stomach—his very itchy stomach. Adrian had known it—and something light and sof
t was spreading through his chest as he looked to both sides, taking in the faces of the two men who had turned his world around.

  Because, yes, this wasn’t only about Roy anymore. It hadn’t been for quite a while, maybe ever since the accident. It was about Roy and Bill, two men who meant everything to each other and who wouldn’t ever want to live without the other.

  And the truth was, Adrian wouldn’t want them to. They worked, on a level that was hard to grasp for him. He wasn’t sure if it was a werewolf thing or a ‘them’ thing, but no matter what it was, they were an item.

  Adrian might want them both, but there was no place for him here. In the bed, sure, yes, but he didn’t think he could stomach that. It had been the best sex of his life, but even if they would like to do it again, Adrian knew that sooner or later, he’d feel hollow inside. The loneliness of always looking in from outside would hurt more than not seeing them at all.

  Liar. His heart skipped a beat. Liar.

  He needed to leave, right now.

  He untangled himself from their embrace somehow and grabbed his clothes on his way to the bathroom. He knew it was only a matter of time before one of them woke up, and he wanted to at least be dressed by then.

  He had no hope of escaping without them noticing at all, for sure.

  When he pulled out his phone from his jeans, there was a text from Patrick, asking him what he wanted for lunch, and Adrian realized he hadn’t even let his friend know he was leaving the apartment. From the lack of calls and other texts, he assumed Patrick hadn’t gone back there yet.

  Adrian looked at the closed bathroom door, swallowing against the big gulp in his throat. Then he called Patrick, who picked up on the second ring.

  “Hey, you’re all right? I’m just about to head home, but if you’ve decided you’re hungry after all—”

  “Hey, I’m not at your place,” Adrian interrupted, talking quickly. “Could you come pick me up?”

  There was a moment of silence on the other end of the call, but he could swear he heard something on the other side of the bathroom door. Adrian bit his lower lip to stop the longing building inside him.

  “Where are you?” Patrick asked, voice low. Then there was another sound out in the bedroom, almost like a wounded noise.

  “The lawyers’ office.”

  “I’ll be right there,” Patrick said before ending the call.

  Only then did Adrian look in the mirror and his eyes widened. He appeared…mauled. In the best way possible, of course, but it didn’t change the fact that his neck was absolutely covered with marks. Fuck.

  The knock on the door almost made him jump, and he grimaced. He knew he needed to face them. He knew. But he was still afraid of what he was going to see in their eyes.

  Were they going to be hurt that he was running so fast? Relieved? Or maybe angry? What was it going to be?

  Only one way to find out.

  He opened the door.

  Chapter Eleven

  Roy had woken right as Bill was getting out of bed, but it took him only a moment to hear it. Adrian, in the bathroom, talking to Patrick, asking him to come and pick him up.

  The wounded noise escaped Roy as he sprang out of bed. No. No-no-no. Not now. Not after this.

  Bill was standing like a statue, staring at the bathroom door, and Roy wanted to shake him, to make him do something. But he could sense Bill’s misery, too—silent and heavy, almost as present in Roy’s heart as his own, but his was loud and overflowing, and…

  He knocked on the bathroom door when the silence on the other side stretched. He tried to read Adrian, tried to figure out what happened, but it was like there was a wall between them now—and not just the literal one. Their connection seemed stretched and muted at the same time, and Roy stared helplessly at the door, willing Adrian to come out.

  Maybe Roy just needed to see him and everything would be back to normal.

  Yeah, he knew better.

  When the door finally opened, Adrian stood there, dressed and distant, even as he wore their marks on his body, even when he was drenched in their scent.

  Roy pushed the palm of his hand against his stomach as if that would stave off the whine that wanted to get out. “What’s going on?” This voice was so unlike him—hollow and empty. He’d never been like that, not even after he’d left San Francisco.

  “I… I need to go,” Adrian whispered, staring at the floor and tugging at the neck of his T-shirt.

  He wants to cover himself. He wants to cover our marks. Roy couldn’t take this. He turned to the window, feeling his control slip.

  “Did we do anything wrong?” Bill asked, and his voice sounded like he was discussing the latest forecast. He’d shut himself off, too. It had happened a few times in the past, and whenever it had, Roy would be left feeling lonely, as if he was missing something—not only a part of Bill, but also a part of himself.

  Now, with Adrian acting like this, too, Roy was ready to howl, to just shift into his wolf, run out and not stop until he’d left the misery behind.

  “What am I supposed to do?” Adrian answered with his own question, and there was an edge to it that made Roy turn around to face him.

  He’s not indifferent to this. He’s hurting, too.

  “Stay.” The word slipped out of his mouth without his control, but Roy knew it was the right one. The only right thing to do was for Adrian to stay here and—

  “For how long?” Adrian turned to look at him, too, and Roy was gutted by what he saw in his gaze. Defeat. Hurt. “A day? Two? Then what?”

  No matter what, Roy wasn’t going to lie to him. Adrian didn’t deserve it.

  “I don’t know.”

  Adrian nodded as if this was what he was expecting. “It’s good now, and you want me here now, but it can’t last forever, can it?” He bit his lower lip and glanced at Bill. “We can have more sex, and it will be great, but then what?”

  Bill didn’t say anything, only stared at Adrian, unflinching, as if he was ready to take anything Adrian would toss at him.

  How do you do that? Roy wanted to ask. How?

  “I can’t be here when you realize there’s nothing else,” Adrian whispered, not really looking at either of them now, just staring at the floor. “I just can’t.”

  “It doesn’t have to be like—” Roy started, but Adrian shook his head.

  “No, maybe it doesn’t. But you said it yourself. You don’t know, and I—” He paused, shoulders slumping. “I just can’t do it. I can’t wait here for the ax to fall while I watch you two—”

  The phone in his hand rang, the shrill sound in their bedroom jarring, especially when Roy knew who was calling.

  He curled his hands into fists, forcing his claws to retreat before they could become visible. There wasn’t going to be a fight over this, not with Patrick.

  “Please don’t leave,” Roy tried one more time, but Adrian had already moved to the door.

  He hung his head before half-turning to Roy. “I’m staying in Hills for another week,” he whispered, “but after that…”

  He didn’t have to finish that sentence. They all knew how it would end.

  When Adrian made his exit, Roy’s legs seemed to give out on him, but Bill was there right away. He caught him and led him to sit on the bed before palming the side of his head and making Roy meet his gaze.

  “Stay here.” His eyes were darker than usual and he looked older, all of a sudden. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Are you going to stop him?”

  Roy hated how weak his voice was, how needy.

  Bill stopped at the entrance with his back to Roy. “The door’s locked. I need to let him out.”

  With that, he left.

  * * * *

  Roy couldn’t have been alone for long, but he spiraled so far down into misery so quickly that he didn’t hear Bill coming back until he was right there in the room.

  “Love.”

  The whisper was the last straw, the last thing that just did him
in. Roy closed his eyes and let the tears fall.

  A moment later, Bill picked him up and slid with him onto the floor, sitting cross-legged with his back on the bed while he cradled Roy to his chest as if he were a little cub. But Roy let him. He let him guide his head into the nook of his neck, let him pull him close, let him nuzzle the top of his head with his cheek… He just let him.

  Because if there was anything that could even make a dent in Roy’s pain right now, it was this man right here.

  “Don’t leave me,” Roy whispered against the skin of Bill’s throat, clasping the other side of his neck with his hand.

  “Never,” Bill whispered back, and Roy could feel his throat constricting and relaxing as he said it.

  They sat like that in silence for the longest time, nuzzling and petting, each running their hands over the other’s body. It was comfort and love and pack and family, and it had been a long time since they’d done it in their human form. As wolves, they did it all the time, spending at least half of the Full Moon Run secluded, so they could nuzzle and groom each other in private. As humans, their closeness usually led to sex. They touched all the time, but deliberate petting like this? It was extremely rare.

  But Roy had never felt loss on such a deep, visceral level. It hadn’t been like this when he’d left Harrington Hills to go to San Francisco. It hadn’t been like this when he’d returned home, either.

  “Fuck, is that how a broken heart feels?” he said, somehow angry at himself now for the state he was in. He still felt like he could shatter to pieces at any moment.

  “No.” Bill inhaled deeply before slowly letting out the air. “This is what a bond rejection feels like.”