He dried his face with the little towel on the counter beside the sink, then went back out of the room. Addie's door was closed, thank God, because he couldn't handle going in there again, so he passed it and headed down the stairs. All of the people here knew each other in one way or another, and even though he and Carter worked together, he still felt a little out of place.
That wasn't really the problem. He always felt out of place, like he hovered outside life, not quite joining in or belonging.
Until he looked at Addie. He didn't want to examine what that meant, but when he looked at her, his whole word came into sharp focus. That night at her apartment the pressure in his chest disappeared and he could breathe again.
She stood with Gemma and Carter's sister in the kitchen and they all held a glass of red wine. Her hair was down and she laughed freely. He loved that sound, loved the way it washed over him.
When she spotted him, her laugh died. He could only imagine what his face showed her.
"This is my friend, Finn." Carter pulled him into the kitchen. "Finn, this is my sister, Sasha."
"Nice to meet you." Finn nodded to her.
"You, too." Sasha smiled up at him. "Want a beer?"
"Sure." Finn forced himself not to shove his hands in his pockets.
"I'll get it." Addie set her wine down on the counter and grabbed him a beer from the fridge.
His fingertips brushed hers as she gave him the beer and the electric shot went straight to his cock. Damn it, he was going to need that shower after dinner. By the heated look in Addie's eyes she'd been hit by the same shock.
Her lips lifted in a slight smile before she turned back to her friends and her wine glass. Finn watched her for a minute, wishing he could brush the hair off her neck and touch his lips to her skin. Run his tongue over the sensitive spot where her neck and shoulder met.
Jesus, he needed to get a hold of himself before it got embarrassing.
"We're going to eat on the deck, is that okay?" Sasha asked.
"That sounds great," Gemma answered. She picked up the giant bowl of salad and carried it out.
"Carter, grab the utensils. Finn, grab the napkins. Addie, you can go ahead and have a seat outside," Sasha told them.
Addie shot him an amused glance, the humor sparkling in her eyes. He could tell she didn't mind Sasha's bossiness, in fact it seemed that Addie liked Carter's sister.
He grabbed the napkins and followed them outside. The air was cooling off as the sun set over the horizon. The dark ocean waves gently caressed the sand. That and the sound of Addie's voice had his body relaxing in a way it hadn't in a long time. Not since--no, he wouldn't think of that right now. Just for tonight, he'd enjoy himself with no guilt. Kelsey was right, Isaac wouldn't want him to be miserable. And he'd be the first one to tell Finn to have a little fun with Addie.
They sat down at the table, Trent claiming the seat in between his mom and his uncle.
"I hope you like your steaks medium." Zach passed around the platter that held the thickest steaks Finn had ever seen. He took one and set it on his plate, along with an aluminum foil pack of squash, carrots, zucchini, and tomatoes. He passed on the salad for now since there was no more room on his plate.
With his first bite into the steak flavor burst into his mouth. He savored it, realizing that he was actually enjoying eating something instead of everything being fuel for his body and nothing else.
"This is amazing." Gemma took a bite. "I've never had steak that was cooked perfectly, except in restaurants in the city."
"I wanted to be a chef when I was younger," Zach answered.
"It shows." Addie dug into her food with a zest that Finn found refreshing. He hated it when girls picked at their food.
They continued their meal, laughing and joking. Finn could tell Sasha really liked Gemma, and was thankful for that. Carter was head over heels and he'd hate to watch the drama of family versus girlfriend unfold. He'd seen it happen too many times with Jenna.
After dinner Finn and Carter volunteered to do the dishes since Zach and Trent cooked. It didn't take long, and once they had the dishwasher loaded, Finn started it.
"Carter, let's take a walk on the beach." Gemma popped into the kitchen as soon as they were done.
"Sure, babe." He wrapped his arms around Gemma's waist and pulled her closer.
Finn instantly felt awkward watching them. He backed up and went out the side door onto the deck. Carter's family was going to see a movie that Trent was waiting to see, and he had no idea what Addie was doing.
He watched the ocean, feeling a weird sense of calm envelop him. He'd always loved the beach, loved swimming in the ocean, and hanging out with his friends.
A memory of Isaac hit him and almost brought him to his knees. A beach similar to this one, Isaac grinning as they played volleyball with his sister and friends. He placed his forearms on the wooden railing and rested his head in his hands. Oxygen seemed scarce, so he sucked in a few deep breaths.
"Finn." Addie's voice broke through the grief. She placed a hand on his shoulder, searing the skin underneath.
He soaked her in for a minute, the feel of her touch, before lifting his head. His agony shone in his eyes, but he didn't care. Sometimes it was so hard to fucking breathe with Isaac gone.
"Hey," she said softly, "let's take our own walk, okay?"
It was dangerous territory to be alone with her, but he wasn't going to say no. She held out her hand and he took it as she led him down the steps to the white sand. He didn't let go of her hand as they started walking in the opposite direction of Gemma and Carter, but she didn't seem to mind.
Moonlight glinted off of partly unearthed shells and the water lapping at the sand. A little of his grief subsided as they walked, the cold sand pushing between his toes. Addie's hair shifted in the light breeze, making him glance down at her. She was watching the waves, and flicked her eyes up to meet his.
The electricity that zinged through him at the look in her eyes was like a punch to the gut. It was soft, gentle, but it was the understanding that knocked the breath out of him. He didn't feel like she would judge him for the way he felt, for the darkness that chased him at every turn.
"What haunts you, Finn?" Addie placed a hand against the stubble on his face.
The touch shot straight through him. He closed his eyes, savoring the feel of it.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." She tugged the hand she held, pulling him into an easy walk over the sand again.
Did he want to tell her? Open all the wounds he'd forced shut? He was afraid of what would bleed out if he did.
"I need some more time," He whispered, afraid that she would get angry at his resistance to talk about it.
"Okay."
Just okay. No harsh sound to it, the smile stayed on her face. God, it was such a sweet smile. Relief washed over him and he stopped. She stilled beside him.
"Did I say something wrong?" She tilted her head up to see him clearly. The moonlight lit up her features and he thought she looked ethereal, his angel in the darkness. Maybe a fallen one, but an angel still.
"No." He stepped closer, his fingertips brushing her jaw line. "Not wrong at all." His head dipped lower and he brushed his lips over hers, softly at first, and then as the desire roared through him he angled his head and fully captured her lips. Her hands slid up his chest and circled his neck, fingertips sliding into his hair at the base of his skull.
He hardened instantly, he wanted her with a fierceness that surprised him. It had been so long since he'd actually wanted a woman like this, with this kind of reckless passion. A fire raced through his blood and he didn't want to extinguish it.
She melted into him, all soft curves. He put a hand on her hip, the other on the side of her neck. He loved the way she fit against him, perfectly, and he wanted to see what other ways they could fit together. When she bit his bottom lip, then stroked her tongue over it, his cock jumped. Yeah, he definitely wanted to see what other
ways they fit.
He lifted his head, stared into her desire filled eyes. "Want to go back to the condo?"
"Hell yeah, I do." She took his hand, pulled him back to the condo.
They walked at a faster pace than they'd came and were at the house in a matter of minutes. He pulled her up the steps, through the back door, and up the stairs to her room. As soon as he shut her bedroom door, he pushed her up against it.
He had to have his hands on her, all of her.
Chapter Fifteen
Addie
Holy shit, Finn was hot. Totally hot and he was kissing her, hard. It was a kind of hard she liked, although she could feel the desperation and sadness behind it, even if he didn't realize it was there. His lips pressed to the spot where her collarbone and neck met and her knees weakened. She grasped his shoulders, feeling the firmness of the muscles underneath shift as he picked her up. Her legs automatically went around his waist as he walked them to her bed, all without breaking the kiss.
She was no innocent when it came to sex, she'd lost her virginity a long time ago, but something about the way Finn made her feel, how nervous she was, made it feel like the first time all over again.
Her back met the mattress and she reached her hands for the bottom of his t-shirt. She pulled it up and off even as he nibbled on her earlobe. She gasped as he bit down, then laved it in slow, sure strokes. His hand moved, pushing her shirt up her body, his fingertips sparking little fires everywhere they brushed.
"Hmm." Finn leaned up on his forearms. His thumb brushed the underside of her breast through the lacy bra.
The husky tone of his voice sent heat spiraling into her abdomen and her panties dampened. Jesus, he was just so…male. She reached her hands between them to the button on his zipper. It took her a few tries, with Finn nuzzling the line of her bra across the swell of her chest, and she couldn't think straight. Her brain was only sending signals to one place. She fumbled it open, gently pulled the zipper down, being careful not to pinch his hard-on with it.
He moved off of her for a moment, shedding his jeans, standing there in a pair of black boxer briefs that hung low on his hips. His erection looked like it was barely contained in them, and she wanted him to take those off too. Apparently he saw the look in her eyes and sent her a lopsided grin.
When he came back to her he hooked his fingers in the waistband of her shorts and whipped them off. She had no idea where they went and she really didn't care. She wanted his weight on her, in her. As she was about to say this, he trailed a finger over the dampness of her panties, brushing her clit, and her mouth closed. Her gaze shot to his, his eyes dark and hungry. His intenseness would've scared her if she hadn't wanted him so much.
That focus, it unnerved her even as it excited her.
Slowly, so slowly he pulled her panties off, letting them slide down her legs. His eyes followed the movement. Addie's throat went dry with desire, her heart racing. A virgin, she felt like a fucking virgin. Like he was erasing every other man's touch, branding her as his own.
She shivered.
"Cold?" He asked.
She swallowed and shook her head slightly. She was afraid to move, caught in him. His fingertips trailed back up her legs, pushed them apart. For a glaring moment, Addie felt completely exposed in a way she never had before.
Until he whispered, "You are so beautiful."
He crawled back on the bed, leaning over her and kissed her. It was deep, and she loved the taste of him, the smell of him, the feel of him. She wanted to feel more, so much more.
When he asked her to lean up she did, and he unhooked her bra. The straps fell down her shoulders and then the bra was gone. His tongue swirled around a nipple and her fingers dug into his shoulders. She arched into him, his hardness hot on her thigh. If she could think straight, she'd get those briefs off of him, then they'd be even, equally exposed.
"Off. Take them off." Addie managed to get out between gasps. His lips teased one nipple, his hand the other. "Please."
He stopped, looked at her from under hooded eyes. "If you want me to."
She nodded, sure he could see how hard her heart beat in her chest. Was he just as affected by this as she was? Did he feel new at this? No, he was too damn confident. In the way he moved over her, teased her. She watched him discard the black briefs and her eyes rounded. Holy shit, he was so hot. Her gaze roamed over his body, liking the fitness he'd kept as a firefighter.
"Better?" He murmured when he lay beside her, hand on her hip.
She nodded, there was no way words were coming out. Her brain and heart had stuttered at the sight of him.
He rolled on top of her and she bit her lip as his cock pressed against her clit. He kissed her again like he was savoring her taste. She'd expected him to be fast and hard, not take his time. Not be this gentle. She wasn't sure what to do with him. He always surprised her.
She sank into the kiss, letting her thoughts go, focusing on him. The way he felt. The way he moved over her. When he broke the kiss he moved lower, teasing her nipples with his hand. He kept going until his warm breath teased her.
His tongue stroked out, running up her center, and she flinched from the acute punch of desire that tore through her. Her legs tensed and he chuckled. "You won't forget this, Addie."
She wasn't going to argue with him. "You talk too much."
His lips quirked before he lowered his head. Her body arched into his mouth, pressing as close as she could. His tongue stroked as he ran his hands down her hips, squeezing her thighs. He tightened his grip, holding her down and she gasped at the erotic feeling. There was no where for her to run or hide now. He saw her, the real her, and she wondered if it was a good thing.
Her eyes closed as the tension built, then exploded through her. He didn't stop, determined to wring every last breath out of her.
When he finally climbed back up her body and pressed the tip of his cock at her entrance, she tried to catch her breath. But just that swiftly he pressed into her, stretched her, and the breath left her body again.
"Oh." Addie, the one who always had something to say, was speechless. He moved, pushing in further, and her eyes slammed shut at the sensation. Every nerve ending pulsed in her body, giving her heart something to race with. She'd never felt so much, so intensely, as she did right now. Every millimeter he moved shot through her system.
His lips pressed to hers, softly, as he began to thrust. She wasn't sure what she'd expected, but this wasn't it. This was more than she ever realized, something she didn't know she needed. Her hands ran up his chest, a light sheen of sweat already coating their bodies. She didn't care, just wanted him closer. Her hand went to the nape of his neck and she pulled him closer, skin to skin, as he picked up his pace.
She moved with him and the sensations started. It didn't take long for the orgasm to overtake her.
"Jesus, Addie. Squeezing me so tight." Finn's breath was ragged against her shoulder.
She tumbled into another orgasm as he let go, pushing in and out with a reckless abandon, his teeth biting into her shoulder. The orgasm didn't stop, all the muscles in her body tightened. All she could do was let go with him, walk into the fire that burned so brightly between them.
Chapter Sixteen
Finn
What the fuck just happened? Finn stared down into deep blue eyes, and could feel himself falling into them. He was propped up on his elbows, still inside her, after the most mind-blowing sex he'd ever had. He didn't want to sound like a bitch, but he'd felt connected to her.
One of her hands was in his hair, the other on his chest. He was sure that his heart beat matched the racing of hers. He hoped like hell his emotions weren't showing on his face. Did he even know what those emotions were? All he'd felt for a long time was pain, anger, fear, and grief that eclipsed those. This woman had somehow snuck in and managed to soothe those raging emotions enough that he could think straight again.
He should've listened to himself when he said she was dangerous.
Damn it.
"Thinking pretty hard there." Addie smirked at him.
Knowing that he was heavier than her by more than a hundred pounds, he reluctantly pulled out of her and propped up on his elbow beside her. His hand rested on her hip. "Just thinking you rocked my world."
"Charmer." Addie laughed quietly. "Who knew you could be something other than an asshole?"
He smiled and realized that it was getting easier to do that around her. "It's a crazy world."
She cocked her head to the side. "If it's awkward to stay and talk, you don't have to. I'm a big girl, I know that adults have one night stands."
His heart clenched. "Want to be rid of me so quickly?"
"Nope. Just giving you an out if you want one." She watched him silently and he knew she waited on an answer.
It was one of the reasons he liked her. She didn't put pressure on him, didn't expect him to stay. He guessed that's one of the reasons he decided to. "I'm good right here, if you don't mind."
She beamed at him and his heart stuttered. Holy Christ, she could blind someone with that. When she snuggled up to him he didn't feel his usual panic at being so close to someone else. Vulnerable and naked. He thought only of how she fit against him, and how beautiful she was. "Was it good for you?"
Her snarky tone startled a laugh out of him. She playfully punched his chest.
"Shh, Carter's sister might be back with the kid. He doesn't need to hear us in here together."
He lifted a brow. "Is that so? You're not afraid of being caught with me?"
"I haven't been afraid of that since I moved out of my parent's house." Her eyes sparkled with mischief.
"You were a trouble child, weren't you?" He drew random circles on her hip.
"All the time. I had to be the bad one, my sisters were so good. One of us had to keep our parents on their toes."
"They're very nice, your family," He told her.
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