by Desiree Day
I can honestly say that I’m ready to be committed in a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Now I just have to find that right person.
Tameeka closed the journal, picked up her mug of tea and wondered what the future might hold for her.
56
What’s Worse Than Taking a Pregnancy Test at 3:00A.M.?
Getting a rectal exam
Having to take a fucking pregnancy test at 3:00 A.M.
Finding out you’re pregnant by someone who isn’t your fiancé
Has it come yet?” Tameeka asked.
“No!” Stacie moaned, then fell back on her bed. For the past two weeks, she had been doing something that she had never done in her life, praying for her period. “I’m never, ever late.”
“Have you told Jackson?”
“Have I told Jackson? Have I told Jackson?” Stacie hissed. “Are you fucking crazy? Not only will I lose the best man I’ve ever had, but I’ll hurt him and Jam. And I can’t do that,” she said, hugging the pillow to her chest. Her eyes welled with tears.
“Stace, I don’t understand how you let this happen. Where was your head?”
Stacie shook her head. Her eyes were glassy, but she refused to cry. “I don’t know. Guess that I didn’t want to think about my problems. I was worried about all this shit! Finding a job. Lexie. Having to move in with my moms. And when he offered me dinner…” She shrugged.
“Well, it looks like you brought home a little something extra in the doggie bag,” Tameeka said half-jokingly.
“Stop being an asshole,” Stacie said.
“Hey, don’t be jumping on me. I told you that the dick was going to get you in trouble one day,” Tameeka said.
“Well, we’ve both been fucked, because it got you in trouble too. So there,” she said. “Meek! What am I gonna do?” she wailed. “What happens if I am pregnant? And it’s Crawford’s baby? Jackson ain’t gonna want me then. And he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“So…you’re saying that you’d keep it?” Tameeka asked incredulously.
Stacie looked at her friend as if she had just told her that she was an alien. “Yeah. What else would I do? I wouldn’t want to kill my baby just because of my foolishness.”
“Oh! The good thing is that at least you’ll have the green-eyed, curly-haired baby that you’ve been fiending for all this time. But the bad thing is that you’d better get down on your hands and knees and pray hard that you’re not pregnant. Because if you are, and you’re gonna keep it, you’re on your own, ’cause Jackson will kick you to the curb.”
“Believe me, I’ve been praying so much that I’ve worn two little holes on the side of my bed.” They were both silent, then in a little girl voice, Stacie said, “I really don’t know what to do if I’m pregnant. I don’t have a job, I don’t have a car and I’m gonna be living with my moms. You were right. I’m just like Nevia.”
“No you’re not…you’re human. A stressed-out sistah. I’m sorry I even said that,” Tameeka said. “But have you at least taken a pregnancy test?” she asked in a quiet voice.
“No.”
“Well…”
“Come with me?” Stacie squeaked.
“You know I will,” Tameeka said, then, “I hope you don’t think I was too hard on you…you know with what I said earlier…about the dick getting you in trouble?”
“I didn’t appreciate your attitude. If that’s what you mean,” Stacie answered as she slipped into a pair of sneakers.
“I was mad at you. You saw what I went through with Tyrell because of my cheating. Now you’re doing the same thing to Jackson. And I don’t want to see you or Jackson hurt like I do.”
“Trust me, girl, after what happened with Crawford, no one but Jackson Brown has the combination to open these legs.”
Tameeka gave a nod of approval. “Good! Now let’s go down to Wal-Mart and pick up that pregnancy test.”
57
Good Friendships Are Like Elastic Waistbands, the Looser They Get, the More Comfortable They Are
This is our last night together,” Tameeka replied sadly. She and Stacie were sitting on their balcony with four bottles of wine between them. They were already mostly through the second bottle. It was nine o’clock at night and Jackson was coming first thing in the morning to help Stacie move into her mother’s apartment.
“I know,” Stacie murmured. Then said, “Damn, girl, we’ve been living together for ten years, longer than most marriages,” she joked, and Tameeka simply nodded. “And now I’m getting married,” she said, eyeing her one-carat, princess-cut ring. “I truly can’t believe it. I owe it all to you, girl.”
“To me?”
“Yeah, you’re the one who made me give up my list. Otherwise I’d still be using that as a blueprint for a man.”
“You would’ve figured it out eventually,” Tameeka modestly replied, then gulped down her wine. It was her fourth glass.
Stacie cut her eyes at Tameeka. “I am so relieved that the pregnancy test came up negative. That was the first time in my life I was happy to have cramps. You can’t imagine how scared I was.”
“You got lucky. So you’re not gonna tell Jackson?”
“Hell no! I don’t believe in all that confession stuff. It’s not good for the soul, all it does is cause a lot of problems.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Tameeka answered, and poured another glass of wine. “So when’s the wedding again?”
“June twenty-fifth, just three months away. I can’t wait. And you’re gonna be my maid of honor,” Stacie sang. “And when you get married—”
Tameeka gazed up at the moon. It was crescent shaped, it could’ve been either a smile or frown, depending on your point of view. “Stop it, don’t bite your tongue. I’m okay,” she reassured her friend. “And I will get married. Thanks to all my journaling I think that I’ve gotten to the root of my problems. I feel whole.”
“I’m so happy for you!” Stacie exclaimed. “We’ve finally grown up!”
“I know,” Tameeka said. “And I have the perfect thing to celebrate with. I’ll be right back.” Tameeka sauntered off and returned minutes later holding a large pizza box.
“Hey, where did that come from?” Stacie asked.
“I picked it up on the way home from work. Then I hid it in the oven,” she giggled. Tameeka opened up the top and pulled out an oversize slice of pizza loaded with pepperoni, sausage, olives, green peppers, anchovies, onions, and cheese. She immediately took a big bite.
“Hey, what happened to your diet?” Stacie asked as she took a smaller slice and began nibbling on it.
“Oh, the radish and tuna diet? Had to give it up. I was eating so much tuna that cats were beginning to think that I was a big ole fish and tried to have me for lunch.”
“Silly,” Stacie laughed. “I’m really gonna miss you,” she said softly.
“I’ma miss you more,” Tameeka joked, then her voice grew serious. “You’re my girl. We have our ups and downs, but we always get past it. You’ve been there every time I needed you. You provided me with a shoulder to cry on, case in point,” she said, and rested her hand on Stacie’s shoulder. It was still damp from her tears. “You’ve lent me an ear when I needed one and you’ve given me a place to call home. You’ve given me so much,” Tameeka said, and she could feel the tears welling again. No more, she willed. “My offer is still open. You can always stay here.”
“I would love to. You don’t know how much I would. But moving in with Momma and Nevia will force me to do something. It’ll be too easy for me to sit around and not do something if I stayed here,” she said.
“How’s Nevia doing?”
“I’m happy to say that my little sister is back on track. She was like a fiend for that car.”
“So she never got it back from Carlos?”
“Nope. He kicked his uncle’s butt, sold the car and blew the money in Vegas.”
“Nu-uh!”
“Yep. That’s just how Carlos rol
ls.”
They grew silent then, both enjoying the food, the wine and each other’s company.
“I have a toast,” Tameeka announced, and raised her glass. “To a long-lasting friendship with my girl, to happiness, to success and to the dick,” she finished, and they both burst out laughing.
58
Single Father’s Guide to Dating Tip #100
Never leave home without condoms, breath mints and deodorant.
Jackson dropped the last box on the floor. “Damn! What’s in the box? A hundred pairs of shoes? At least we’re done moving.”
Stacie sat on the bed and looked up at Jackson; misery was etched in her face.
“What’s wrong baby?” he asked, sitting down beside her on the bed and wrapping his arms around her.
Stacie rested her head on his shoulder and inhaled deeply; she loved his scent. “I feel like I’m going backward,” she wailed, relieved that it was out in the open.
Jackson hugged her tighter and glanced down at the top of her head. “Have you ever seen a sling shot?” he asked. “It starts at the same place, then it’s pulled back and when it’s let go, it soars to crazy heights and distances. That’s you. Even though you’re going back a couple steps, that’s giving you strength to soar and achieve wonderful things.”
Stacie looked at him in awe. “You are so smart. Thank you,” she said, and kissed him softly. They sat in each other’s arms for a while, listening to each other’s heartbeat and just enjoying each other. Pretty soon Jackson’s hands were roaming over her body.
“Excuse me, sir, but we can’t be doing this under my momma’s roof,” she said saucily, but she pressed herself closer to him. “She’ll put me out.”
“I doubt it,” he said, thinking of Nevia and her three designer babies. “Besides, we’re not doing anything wrong,” Jackson whispered, then slid his hand under her shirt and cupped a breast.
“What happens if she opens the door?” Stacie said between moans.
“We’ll just tell her that we’re playing doctor,” Jackson murmured as he pulled Stacie’s shirt over her head and tossed it into the corner.
“You make too much noise,” Stacie said half-convincingly. She had her eyes closed and her hand was on Jackson’s head, urging him to her breasts.
“Look who’s talking,” Jackson murmured around a mouthful of breast. He pulled away long enough to slip his hands into her shorts.
“Oh Jackson!” Stacie sighed. It was somewhere in the middle of a groan and a protest. “We can’t do anything.” Her hips bucked toward him as his fingers eased into her panties. The last thing she needed was for her mother to walk in and find her and Jackson christening the bedroom.
“What?” Jackson feigned innocence, then winked as he pulled off her shorts and panties and tossed them in the corner along with her top. Stacie stretched out on the bed and Jackson gazed hungrily down at her. The sunlight streaming into the room showered her body, giving her an exotic golden glow. Jackson shook his head in wonder; he didn’t understand it, but she got more beautiful every time he saw her. He leaned down and kissed her eyes, her nose, then her lips, his kisses soft like wisps of air. Their eyes met and Stacie sighed happily and settled back on the bed, her mother forgotten. Jackson kissed a trail from her breasts to her belly button.
“You’re beautiful, you know that?” he asked. “I’m so glad you’re in my life,” he murmured as he moved downward and placed his face between her legs. Stacie’s hips bucked and she began moaning.
“Here, use this,” Jackson said and handed her a pillow to cover her face. “Make as much noise as you want.” He grinned, then resumed his position. He eased his tongue into the soft folds of her mound and swiped it over her love knob. She moaned so loud that he was afraid that maybe the pillow wouldn’t be enough. He smiled devilishly as he slid two fingers into her, then nibbled at her clit as he slid his fingers in and out. Stacie’s hips moved fast to keep up with his fingers, and they were bucking when she had her powerful orgasm.
“Gawd,” she said dreamily as she gasped for breath. “That was amazing.” She peeked at the door. “Hurry up,” she urged, as Jackson slipped off his clothes.
Jackson slipped on a condom and stood poised over her. “Fast or slow?” he teased.
“What do you think?”
“We’ll go fast,” Jackson decided for her. He bent down and covered her mouth with his, smothering her groans. “You feel so good,” he groaned out of the corner of his mouth. “Why do you feel so good?” he teased, and all Stacie could do was shake her head; he left her speechless.
“I love you,” Stacie groaned as waves of pleasure washed over her body.
“I love you too,” Jackson shouted as waves of pleasure covered him.
Suddenly there was a knock on the bedroom door and Jackson and Stacie froze. “Is everything all right in there?” Her mother asked, concerned.
Stacie stuck her face in Jackson’s chest to smother a giggle. “We’re fine, Ma. A box fell on Jackson’s toe, but he’s okay now,” Stacie yelled.
“How you doing, Jackson?” Gladys called from the other side of the door.
“Fine, Momma Gladys,” he assured her.
“You need some ice? I can get you some ice. I’ll be right back,” she said.
“No!” Stacie and Jackson yelled simultaneously. Stacie hopped up from the bed and opened the door a crack and assured her mother that Jackson was fine and that he didn’t need any ice. Stacie switched back over to the bed and plopped down on top of Jackson. “Man, that was close,” she said as she laid her head on Jackson’s chest.
“I know. Can you imagine her expression if she had opened up the door…?”
“Crazy. C’mon.” She leapt off the bed and stood in front of Jackson with her hands on her hips. “Help me unpack. I’ll do my lingerie.”
“And I’ll do you,” Jackson said, grinning as he reached for her again.
59
Let Love Find You, Don’t Go Chasing It
It was late and Tameeka had already sent Trent and Bea home. Sade was playing softly on the CD player, and she hummed along as she strolled around the store, putting stray items back in their homes. Tameeka didn’t hear the door stealthily being pulled open, nor did she see the man watching her as she moved around the store. He crossed the floor and stood behind her but by the time she sensed his presence it was too late, he was on her. Mohammad grabbed her up in a bear hug and Tameeka struggled in his arms and let out an ear-splitting scream. Mohammad tightened his grip.
“Calm down, it’s only me…Mohammad,” he breathed in her ear. His arms relaxed around her and she turned around with fearful eyes.
“Mohammad?” Tameeka squeaked, trembling as she tried to squash the flashback of her mugging. “What the hell are you doing, scaring me like that?” she admonished in a shaky voice as she glared at him. He didn’t look as bad as he had the last time she’d seen him, when he was being put into an ambulance. The only reminder of that night was his broken nose that had healed slightly crooked.
“Didn’t mean to, baby, just wanted to hug you. It always turned me on to see you cleaning up your piece of heaven,” he joked, then noticed her shaking. “Are you okay?” Mohammad asked while rubbing her arms.
“I’m fine. You scared the shit out of me though,” she answered, then told him about the robbery. She left out the part of her and Tyrell’s lovemaking.
“Fuck! He was probably the same man who robbed Mr. Wang. Baby, I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he soothed as he pulled her into his arms and Tameeka rested against his body. “Are you okay?” Mohammad asked, tilting her face up and searching her eyes. Tameeka nodded. “So why are you here by yourself tonight? Where’s your boyfriend?”
Tameeka ignored the question about Tyrell, and answered the first question instead. “I’m safe. I had an alarm system installed and I changed the locks…Hey, how did you get in?” she asked, her eyes wide.
Mohammad shrugged. “I walked in, the door was unlocked.”
“Oh crap! I am getting so forgetful. Man, am I glad it was you,” she said, giving him a weak smile. “Let me go lock it.” She turned to go, but Mohammad caught her arm. She looked up at him, her brow raised.
“I locked it,” he murmured, looking at her like he wanted to devour her.
A shiver of excitement shot through her. “So where have you been?” she asked.
“Traveling across the country. I had a lot of art shows, did some festivals. Even taught some classes. But it’s always good to be back home,” he said, eyeing her, then his hand whipped out and pulled her against him. “You didn’t answer my question. Where’s your boyfriend?” Mohammad asked.
“Don’t have one,” Tameeka muttered into his chest. “We broke up…the night he caught us.”
“Good,” he drawled.
Tameeka sucked her teeth. “Mo, why would you say something so mean?” she asked, then inhaled deeply when she saw the desire burning in his eyes.
“This is why,” he said, hungrily covering her mouth with his, catching Tameeka off guard. She momentarily froze, then her body thawed under Mohammad’s heat. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she plunged her tongue deeper into his mouth. Mohammad moaned against her lips.
Tameeka tenderly caressed his face as he rained kisses over her eyelids, forehead and lips. They sank to the floor, snatching off the other’s clothes along the way.