by A. J. Markam
He didn’t listen to me. Instead, he put a whammy on me.
Black smoke drifted all around me like I was in the middle of some horrific scene of destruction. When the smoke cleared, there lay Alaria’s red body, dead and mutilated on the ground.
My stomach lurched and I was almost sick. Not from the grotesque image, but from the very real spike of terror that ran through me.
I shut my eyes tight, trying to block it out.
Over to my left, I heard Alaria whisper in terror, “Goddess…”
“Dorp,” I said, my eyes closed, “you’re free to go. Just, please – stop.”
There was no answer.
I gingerly opened one eye to a squint, just enough to see if the horrifying vision was still there.
It wasn’t. The smoke was gone, as was Alaria’s dead body.
I opened my eyes all the way and looked at my former demon, whose expression held confusion and hatred in equal measures.
“Why would you let me go?” he asked suspiciously.
“Because when I freed you, I meant it. I know I went back on that and abused the kindness you showed me… and for that I am very sorry. All I want to do is apologize, and then you can do whatever you want. You owe me nothing.”
Dorp looked around the wastelands and scoffed. “So nice of you to summon me back to such a wonderful place, MASTER.”
I was about to answer when Alaria butted in.
“What, would you prefer hanging out with an army of orcs?”
Dorp erupted in anger. “Those were my friends!”
“They weren’t your real friends, Dorp, any more than I was. They were using you – just like I did.”
I said it as contritely as I could, but that was apparently the wrong thing to bring up.
“So you decided to kill them? Because they were just like YOU?! At least they respected me! At least they didn’t LIE to me behind my back!” Dorp shouted.
I didn’t want to get into a back-and-forth about how honorable orcs were or weren’t, so I simply said, “They were going to kill or enslave tens of thousands of people, Dorp. And they were going to use you to help them do it.”
“Maybe I wanted to!” he roared – as much as anyone with a helium voice can roar.
I shook my head. “You’re way too kind for that. I know you. You would’ve never been able to live with yourself if you’d helped them do that.”
His lips trembled, and I could tell that part of him agreed with me.
But a bigger part of him hated me even more.
“So you murdered 10,000 orcs – why? So you could be the hero again?” he sneered.
Alaria shouted out in frustration, “He fought the orcs just so could he could apologize to YOU, asshole! He pulled in hundreds of his own friends who faced down death, just so he could say he was sorry to you face-to-face!”
Dorp reacted in surprise, then looked back and forth between me and her.
“He hurt you even worse than he hurt me,” he said to Alaria. “Why on earth would you come back to him, much less defend him?”
She looked over at me and her face filled with love. She smiled the tiniest bit, then opened her mouth, ready to speak –
And then Stig ruined it all with a hand gesture.
fwap-fwa-fwap-fwap-fwap
“That’s why,” the imp croaked.
Alaria glared down at him.
“NO, not just for that.” Then she looked back at Dorp. “Because he may have acted like an asshole sometimes, but deep down, he’s a good man. Otherwise he wouldn’t have risked his life, and mine, and Stig’s, just so he could tell you he was sorry.”
Dorp pointed at her accusingly. “You just said it – he risked your life and Stig’s, too!”
“Well, he was helping me out, too – we were going after Orlo – ”
“So it wasn’t JUST to say he was sorry to me!” Dorp howled. “He was there – ”
“Helping ME, dumbass,” Alaria snapped.
Dorp scowled and looked down at Stig. “What about you? Did he ever help you?”
Stig thought for a second as he scratched his chin. “He gave me some booze…”
Dorp turned his attention – and his invective – back on me. “You two just don’t see it. Everywhere he goes, he uses people. And sometimes he uses them to help other people, but ultimately it’s all to help himself. He wouldn’t help you, succubus, if he didn’t find you so beautiful. He sure didn’t help me.”
“What, FREEING you wasn’t helping you?” Alaria shouted, but I held up my hand to silence her.
She closed her mouth and quieted down, though somewhat resentfully.
“You’re right,” I said to Dorp. “I do use other people. I try not to, and I try to help others out, but I fuck up sometimes. And I fucked up royally with you. I’m sorry. I know that’s not good enough – I know I have no right to ask you to forgive me – but I wanted you to know. If you want to leave now, you can. If you want me to send you back to Limbo until we get to a more populated area, I will. But I – ”
“I don’t trust you to do anything for me, ‘Master,’” he sneered. “You change your mind on a whim. I’ll go now.”
I nodded sadly. “Okay. I wish you all the luck in the world, Dorp.”
I hesitated, then dug in my bag. “I have some money – I could give you some so that – ”
“I don’t want anything from you,” he snarled. “Except never to see you again.”
“…okay.”
He looked at me like he was expecting else – maybe an attack, verbal or physical?
But when nothing happened, he turned around and began to walk towards the grasslands.
He looked around at me and Alaria, seemingly conflicted, but then he put on a resolute face and committed. After that, he never looked back.
I stood there and watched him walk away until he disappeared down the hill.
Then I looked at Alaria and Stig.
“Thank you. I needed to get that off my conscience – at least as much as I can. But I have to ask you something.”
I looked at Alaria. “I’m pretty sure about how you feel about me…” Then I looked at Stig. “But what about you? Do you feel the way that Dorp does, even a little?”
Stig scratched his chin again and took a few seconds to answer. But when he did, I couldn’t help but smile.
“You’re alright… for a human.” He thought a second more, then added, “As long as you keep giving me booze.”
I laughed. “If we get out of this, buddy, I promise you a whole week of getting blasted.”
Stig nodded, and it seemed that the matter was settled.
“So what we do now?” Alaria asked.
I looked over at the volcanic crater. “I need to get down there and see what’s going on.”
“Because it worked so well last time,” Alaria said sarcastically.
“Have you got any better ideas?”
“You don’t have a war golem to hide inside of this time, so how are you planning to do it?”
I thought for a second, then brightened. “A cloak.”
“Goddess, AGAIN with the cloak!” she groaned. “How are you going to get one? Oh, I know – turn invisible for 15 seconds, then wait five minutes, then go invisible for five more feet – ”
“I already have one,” I said as I pulled the cloak out of my bag.
She stared in shock. “Where did you get that?”
“Soraiya.”
“And you TRUST that little bitch?”
“I wouldn’t say I trust her, but I don’t think she’s necessarily against us. She’s just all about helping herself the most.”
“Oh, you think?” She glared at the robe. “It’s probably poisoned or has some enchantment that will reduce you to ashes as soon as you put it on!”
“Only one way to find out,” I said as I pulled the robes over my head. Nothing happened, other than I was dressed all in black with a hood over my head. “Ta daaaa!”
Alaria shook
her head. “You said it was a bunch of naked women down there. I don’t think you’re going to fit in.”
“There were plenty of people with black cloaks on.”
“But – ”
“Look, it’s our best option right now, okay? If you can think of a better one, I’m open to ideas.”
“We could leave,” Stig suggested.
“NO.”
“I could go,” Alaria offered.
“No offense, but you’re a little too shiny.”
“You’re a little too penis-y.”
“That’s not even a word.”
“Why do you want to go down there so badly? It’s not like we care about who Orlo’s selling the war golems to.”
“It was kind of a big deal the last time around.”
“They’re a SEX CULT. They’re trying to usher in a new age of peace and love, and they’ll obviously fail, so who cares?”
“What do they need war golems for, then?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care!”
“Maybe we should. Plus, I’d like to get the gold away from him before he can hide it somewhere or put it in a bank or – ”
Alaria’s eyes widened. “THAT’S why you want to go down there?! For the MONEY?!”
It wasn’t like it was a big secret I’d been hiding. Ever since I’d seen the iron box filled with 100-gold pieces, I’d been thinking about how I could use it to pay Varkus off.
“You seem to forget that I have a bounty hunter after me.”
“You seem to forget that you already told him where the money is,” Alaria said coldly. “He’s COMING.”
“That’s what she said,” Stig croaked.
“NOT NOW,” I snapped at him, then turned back to Alaria. “Which is why we need to grab the gold before he gets here.”
“Why? As long as he leaves us alone, let him have it!”
“He’s never going to leave us alone – not after you fried him with that hand cannon.”
“So, what, now you wish I hadn’t saved your sorry ass?” she yelled.
“What is with you?!” I asked angrily. “What are you so upset about?!”
She paused… then murmured quietly, “…I thought you were going down there for me.”
“I am!”
“And the gold,” she said sarcastically.
“When it comes down to it, you know I only care about you. If there’s even a chance that we can’t get you back in your old body, then fuck the money.”
“Why do you want me back in my old body so bad?” she asked suspiciously.
“JESUS!” I roared. “YOU want back in your old body, too! Why are you acting like this?!”
I expected her to lash out at me again – but instead her lower lip quivered, and tears started to roll down her cheeks.
“Alaria,” I said, shocked, and put my hands on her arms. “What’s wrong?!”
She wouldn’t look me in the eyes.
“Babe, please – just tell me.”
“I’m afraid you won’t love me anymore if I stay in this body,” she whispered. “And now you want to go chase after a bunch of gold, and get rich, and what happens if we kill Orlo and I have to stay like this forever, a-and – ”
“Babe, I only care about you. Nothing else. I’ll get chased around by bounty hunters for the rest of my life if that’s what it takes to be with you. In this body, in your old body – it doesn’t matter. Nothing else matters – not the gold, not anyone else – ”
“Hey,” Stig said, offended.
“Other than you,” I said to placate him.
“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled like he didn’t believe me.
I looked back at Alaria. “Just let me go down there, see what’s what, and then we’ll figure out how to get everything back to normal, okay?”
She nodded sadly, then smiled and rubbed away her tears. “I’m sorry I’m being such a bitch lately… and that I’m being such a crybaby. I just…”
Her voice trailed off.
“You’re scared,” I suggested.
She closed her eyes and nodded her head.
“It’s okay. Back in Exardus I was scared I lost you, and I acted a thousand times worse.”
“That’s for sure,” Stig muttered under his breath.
I shot him a glance, then looked back at Alaria. “It’s going to be okay. I promise you.”
She nodded again, not like she really believed me, but like she was trying.
I kissed her gently. “All right, I’ll see you soon – and remember: stay out of danger.”
“I would say the same to you, but you’re rushing right into it,” she said sourly.
“Relax. It’s going to be fine.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
But as I left her, I could tell she didn’t believe me.
36
I set off by myself for the gorge where the golems had entered the crater. They were easy to follow: their heavy feet had crushed everything in their path, reducing the rough volcanic rocks to black gravel.
In case I ran into any of the cult members, I did my best to keep every inch of my body hidden. I clasped my hands together so the robes would cover my arms, and I bowed my hooded head so low that I couldn’t see anything except the ground in front of me.
As I walked along, the heat became oppressive. It radiated up from under the ground, which made sense – the entire crater was probably sitting on top of underground rivers of magma.
Within a few minutes a trio of elves in black cloaks approached me on the road. I sent my All-Seeing Eye out to inspect them, and confirmed they were all women. Score one for Alaria’s theory about this being a lesbian sex cult.
The leader was a purple-skinned elf with glowing white eyes. She had a beautiful face with high cheekbones, but her expression was cruel and imperious – a real bitch and a half. The two elves behind her looked meek and mild by comparison.
I was still pretty far away, but they had seen me, so there was no turning back now. I kept my head bowed down low as I could and tried to shuffle past them unobtrusively.
No such luck.
The purple elf addressed me sharply. “You, there – why are you not participating in the Holy Fingering?”
It was all I could do to keep myself from snickering.
From everything I’d seen, ‘the Holy Fingering’ was as good a description as any I could come up with.
Whether it was holy or not, there were definitely a lot of holes getting fingered, that was for sure.
I bowed and tried to appear as contrite as possible – so as not show my face.
“I’m sorry,” I said in a falsetto voice, “I needed to… uh…”
I couldn’t say ‘relieve myself,’ because nobody in the game actually went to the bathroom. Sewers just existed to make certain locations more disgusting, but they were nothing more than window dressing.
“…uh… time to pray,” I finished lamely.
All three elves scrunched up their faces in disgust, like I had just let out a massive wet fart.
“We pray with our pussies and the fingers on our heavenly clits!” the leader chastised me. “We pray by lifting our cries of pleasure to the Great Vulva!”
I had to bite my lower lip to keep from laughing.
Jesus, the game developers were really laying it on thick.
“Yes, yes,” I said in my high-pitched girly voice. I found it all very funny, but I was nervous I might have made a serious faux pas. “My apologies.”
“Be careful you do not stray from the path of Orgasm, sister! That way heresy lies!” The purple bitch pointed her finger angrily towards the volcano. “Return to the group immediately and dedicate your pussy to the Holy Fingering!”
“Yes, fingering holes – I mean, holy fingering, yes yes!” I said hurriedly, trying not to lose it as I rushed past them.
The All-Seeing Eye had already run out, but I didn’t need it to now they were staring disapprovingly at my back.
&
nbsp; “Sister!” the purple elf yelled.
I turned around, bowing low. “Yes?” I said in my high-pitched voice.
“Where did you get that robe?”
“Um… I borrowed it from one of the other sisters.”
“Hand it in to be burned. It is far too ostentatious.”
I looked down, wondering what the fuck she was seeing that I wasn’t. After all, it was a simple black robe –
With sparkly silver moons and stars embroidered along the hem.
Shit.
That one detail had almost given me away.
“Yes. Right away,” I said, bowing deeply.
“Prepare yourself accordingly, sister… for the Ceremony.”
The way she said it, there was definitely a capital ‘C’ at the beginning of the word. Her entire tone was strangely foreboding.
A little shiver ran down my spine. “Yes, I will. Thank you.”
The woman sneered at me as she turned away. Her two companions looked at me snootily and followed the purple bitch with their noses in the air.
Fuck ALL y’all, I grumbled silently as I scurried away.
I hoped my encounter with Mistress Asshole and her two little bitchlings was going to be the last of its kind, although I kind of doubted it. I was heading right into camp; surely there would be other hard-asses along the way. I mulled over the lingo I could drop during my next encounter – Holy Fingering, Great Vulva, path of Orgasm –
And what the fuck was ‘the Ceremony’? It sounded a little too creepy for a bunch of fingerfucking.
I was lost in my own thoughts when a voice rang out through the hot, heavy air. I hadn’t noticed the relative quiet until now, but once the woman spoke up, it felt like the silence existed solely for her voice to fill it.
“Sisters!” the voice called out. It was throaty and powerful, smoky and deep. “I call you all to the next Holy Fingering, when we shall consecrate our energies to the feminine void!”
“All hail orgasm!” hundreds of female voices called out in unison.
That was a religious call-and-response I could get into.
“We are gathered here today in the presence of the divine, in the bosom of the All-Mother, in the fertile womb of the feminine void!”