When her photo pinged up, and he thought she might be watching the site, he posted:
White Balance
We live in a world of opposites.
Hard. Soft.
Cold. Hot.
Dark. Light.
Question. Answer.
Calm. Stormy.
Alone. Together.
We need these opposites for balance.
Too much of one is a prescription for pain.
For a long time I lived in pain and felt I deserved it.
Until you I didn’t think it was possible to find balance again.
I don’t need you to heal me. I’m responsible for me.
I need you to love me, to lend me your opposite so I can be whole.
Only a world class idiot wouldn’t have known that.
I’ve been a world class idiot for a long time.
I don’t deserve you.
I’ll work at it till I do.
If you’ll let me, I’ll start tonight.
Our meeting place, 7.30pm.
MacGuffin
He got on the phone. He booked the talent. He checked the blog again. She didn’t reply, but other people were bouncing in with comments, quite a few of which advised WB that MacGuffin was a first-class lunatic stalker and best avoided.
He got in the car. It was going to be a busy day and a gut wrenching night, but he was ready for it.
●
Jas kept poking him in the ribs but he couldn’t make a noise because the ‘rents would know they were listening behind the door.
“Code, you didn’t clean your teeth.”
She had no clue how to whisper. Even babies could whisper. They must’ve heard her. Cody saw Aiden’s head turn towards him. He closed his eyes tight in case Aiden could see them shining through the crack in the door where it didn’t close properly.
He mouthed, “Shut up.” He looked at Jas so she’d know he was for real about it. She sucked her lips and made sad eyes. She’d have sad eyes for extra real if Mum and Dad said no to Aiden. Then it wouldn’t matter if no one ever cleaned their teeth.
When he looked through the crack again, he could see Dad’s elbow. The one with the tattoo of the spider’s web. The cool elbow. He and Dad were still coming to terms with each other. That’s what Dad said. Plus, Dad said he could call him Rod if he wanted instead of Dad. Sometimes he did. But Rod liked it better when he called him Dad, and Mum liked that too.
Mum didn’t cry so much anymore, and they were going to move to a semi one day where he could have his own room. He was getting a basketball hoop at the new place.
Jas got bored and went to get dressed. She’d better be quick. Aiden said if it was ok, he’d drive them to school this morning. He said he had a proposition for them. It sounded way important, like he could charge Aid heaps, which would be awesome because his savings were in a hole since he hadn’t been doing jobs, and especially since he didn’t nick stuff anymore.
He couldn’t hear a bleeping word through the door, only blah, blah in a deep voice from Aid and blah blah in a girly voice from Mum. Dad was just listening. No one was laughing, yelling or crying. Hard to say what was going on.
He got distracted when Jas came back and started packing her lunch. She was so noisy. He almost got trodden on when the door opened, only got up off the floor and away just in time before Dad came in.
Aiden was taking them to school and they’d discuss his proposition in the car. Dad said it was up to him and Jas if they accepted it. Mum said it would be fun like the school play. Sometimes your lies did get back at you. Jas said did the proposition include dancing and could she see Chauncey regular like and Aiden said yes, both.
She was such a girl. That cat couldn’t give a rats if he ever saw her again and she was too young to be a dancer in videos, even if Mum said she could have proper lessons after school.
Aiden let him plug his new iPod into the car on the way to school, but in the end they didn’t listen to Hatebreed or Slipknot because they talked about the proposition and it was way dorky but maybe a bit cool if you were a doofus.
●
Bailey should’ve expected the backpack near the front door. Still it was a shock. The shame was crying into Chris’ shoulder, and not knowing what she was crying about. Her big gulpy sobs were frantic and burst out from some deep hurt place she couldn’t identify.
This was one of those mornings where White Balance cheated, like the morning after her fall down the stairs. She posted a file pic, a bright green hopscotch grid drawn with wobbly chalk on black tarmac.
The best thing about the day was spending it at the venue and not at the office, so she wouldn’t have to see Aiden till mid-afternoon when he and Blake came in to meet with Tom and the Bitters team. And when he did arrive, she’d be fully occupied with the launch so it’d be easy to keep her distance. If she could get through today, she had a weekend’s worth of time to get her thoughts in order.
She sat in the dark at the control desk with the show’s director and watched the final rehearsal. In a couple of hours the room would be full of retailers, industry leaders and journalists, invited to a game show in which famous football heroes would play multiple choice rounds for prize money for their favourite charity, all in aid of the new low calorie beer, called Big Game.
The host, Eddie Mac, taking a break from his usual sporting commentator role, was on stage practicing his opening monologue. Out of his mouth came words Aiden had written. Bailey had heard them dozens of times so it was easy to block them out. That was probably the secret, learning to block Aiden out. It would take practice, but what new skill didn’t? And this was a new skill she was going to have to acquire and become expert at. Either that or expect her emotions to be this raw all the time, and that wasn’t her idea of fun. It was a fair approximation of hell.
When the Bitters team arrived the pace of things kicked up and it was all about the work, there was no time to think about Aiden, about Chris, only last minute seating issues, staffing for the after-show bar, the press packs and the final attendance list. Blake arrived early, looking like he had ants in his pants. It wasn’t nerves. That wasn’t Blake’s style. She instinctively avoided him. Whatever was itching him could wait. It was amusing to continually wave him off when he tried to approach. He knew better then to interrupt, but she could see it was killing him.
As the guests started to flow in she tried not to watch the door for Aiden, staying busy, practicing being professionally numb, while an ache of sadness settled in her chest. When Blake sidled up she tucked her head down in the event order and tried to look busier than she was.
“This is cool, Bails. Tom’s happy.”
“He should be ecstatic once the orders come in, and the media coverage comes out.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll be ecstatic too.”
“You will?” Blake elbowed her. “Ah, that makes me so happy for you.”
She pinned him with a look. “It’s not my first successful launch. I don’t need a gold star from you.”
Blake reacted in horror, his body coming to attention. He’d picked a bad time to revert to type and he knew it.
“No, no, no, that’s not what I meant. That’s really not what I meant.” He back-peddled. “Oh God, Bailey.” He’d have to peddle hard. “Did he screw it up that badly? I’m going to crack his friggin’ skull?”
“What?”
Guests were pouring in now, they were ten deep at the reception desk, picking up name tags and gift bags. “No, wait. Busy. Can we talk about this later?” She really should’ve put six people on the desk and moved it over to the left.
“You have no idea do you?”
“Busy.” And not capable of having a sensible conversation about Aiden right now. Maybe ever.
Blake was fumbling for his phone. “You need to check your blog.”
“Like that can’t wait.”
He shoved his handset in front of her with the blog page on its turned horizontal scr
een. “Read this.”
She glanced down, saw a smattering of comments. “Yeah chatter about someone else’s post. Big deal. Happens. I’ll catch up with it later.”
“Bailey, scroll up, it’s a big deal. I thought you’d seen it. I thought that’s why you’d be ecstatic.”
Then she saw it, a longish post, poetic, words that made her feel all kinds of hot and cold, hard and soft, calm and stormy. And not so alone. He was a pretender, he played lonely games, he knew waiting and forgetting were painful. He quoted Dr Seuss and Shakespeare.
Oh my God. Aiden was MacGuffin.
There were three hundred people in the room now, was he one of them? The lights dimmed. There was no time to find him. She had to give start cue.
Blake took his phone out of her hand. “What are you going to do?”
The director was waving furiously from the control desk. The show’s music track started. The room was settling in. Blake’s face was a carnival ride of hope, not quite sure if he was meant to be enjoying things or scared to death.
“I’m going to do what I have to.”
●
Aiden watched White Balance’s blog for a reply and when it didn’t come he called the feeling in his chest heartburn, though he knew perfectly well it wasn’t, but it was an excellent word to describe how he felt. He was bathed in an acid wash of anticipation. It curdled in his stomach, scalded the edges of his new born heart and gurgled up his throat to make his jaw tight and his neck ache.
He saw Bailey only briefly at the Bitters launch. Her face lit by the glow of the computers at the control desk. He didn’t know if she’d read his message. He should’ve doubled up and sent a text or grown some guts and phoned her. This morning, that’d felt too ordinary, not a grand enough gesture, now it felt like criminal neglect, and too little too late, especially as she might be angry he hadn’t told her he was MacGuffin.
When the house lights came up he had no more time to think about what he might’ve done differently. He and Blake had another function with retailers and hoteliers to present at. Not that there was much to think about, the answer was everything, from the moment he’d met her.
●
The place where they were going to do the play was at the beach on this whopper flat rock with like a big rock wall behind it that had little rocks all around it. The big rock was like a stage and the little rocks were like tables and chairs.
Aid had put all these flaming torches around like on Survivor and they were way cool because they were real fire. He’d made a table with a cloth and had stuff to drink. He had humungous stripy pillows for him and the special guest to sit on.
Cody had been learning his script since Aid picked him and Jas up from school. There wasn’t time to get changed so they still had their uniforms on. They had mega rehearsals and he only needed to look at the paper a few times. His part was called the narrator and Jas was called the chorus. She was his only his assistant, but she thought she was more big time.
Aid said Bailey was the special guest. But Mum and Dad were coming too and other people who were at the beach might watch, and it was ok if they did. Aid said Bailey might not come, but they’d do the play anyway. Mum said she was proud of them. Dad said it was putting your heart on your sleeve which sounded mega dumb. Cody thought it would be bad if Bailey didn’t come because she was in the story.
●
Wrapping the event up took forever, but that’s what happens when you open a bar staffed by glamorous, barely dressed models and serve free beer on a Friday afternoon. By the time the last journalist left the one time only Bitters Beer Big Game Bar, Bailey was ice cube tight with tension. One tap and she was likely to explode into tiny shards of fear and hope.
He could only mean one place and there was a perfect symmetry to it. She drove to the beach. This time she hoped he’d show her more than his pain. This time she knew they wouldn’t be separated by an expanse of beach, narrowed only by a zoom lens. This time she could stand beside him and reach for his hand, and there was a good chance he’d take it.
When she saw the torches and the small crowd of onlookers at the rock wall her ice heart melted and she was left with a warm sense of wonder.
Other men might’ve done flowers, chocolates, both if you were lucky, to go with their expression of apology and love. Aiden put on a performance.
He’d been watching for her and came across the sand to meet her. He smiled and the last icicles of anxiety puddled around her toes.
“I’m so glad you could come.” He was slightly formal, like they were strangers newly met, though now she realised they’d been exchanging thoughts for years. “I was scared you wouldn’t.”
“I’m so glad you invited me.”
His eyes were bright with hope, but his hands were clasped tight in front of him. “Are you angry with me for not telling you I’m MacGuffin?”
Bailey didn’t think there was any way she could ever be angry with him again. “I’m just so happy you’re not a chick.”
He laughed, opening out his hands. “You thought MacGuffin was a girl?”
“I thought MacGuffin was a sorceress with a crystal ball. But I get it now. I should’ve guessed earlier. Even without connecting your posts with comments you made, I should’ve figured the film reference. A MacGuffin is a plot device, like documents in a spy thriller or the stolen jewels in a cops and robbers movie.”
“Usually not a very important one.”
She smiled up at him, a thousand wings holding up her heart. “Important to me.”
Aiden’s eyes closed and he swallowed hard. When he opened them, he was composed and he had a purpose. “This is a performance of a previously unknown fairytale.”
“Previously unknown?”
“As in written this morning after you left my bed, and I knew I needed to do something extraordinary if I ever wanted to get you back there again.”
She took in the picnic spread on its rock table, the big scatter cushions and the two kids, Cody and Jas standing together watching them with bug big eyes. Aiden was looking at her the way he’d done last night, as though he had nothing to hide, as though he wanted her.
“This is amazing, Aiden.”
He stepped closer and brushed his knuckles over her cheek, the barest of touches, “This is only the beginning.” He offered her his crooked arm and led her to their private seating. When they were both settled cross-legged he gave Cody a signal and the boy walked to the centre of the rock stage.
He cleared his throat. “Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to tonight’s performance.”
From behind Bailey a couple applauded and whistled. The parents she guessed. Some onlookers moved on, a family sat in the sand to watch and enjoy their fish and chips.
“I’m Cody George your narrator.” He was so very serious. He pointed off to his left. “In the chorus is Jasmine George.” Jasmine curtsied and waved. She was so cute. No wonder she’d stolen Aid’s heart.
Cody cleared his throat again. “Once upon a time there was,” he squirmed, he shook the paper in his hand. He looked at Aiden, “do I have to say it?”
“Where do you think I got the word from? You, when you didn’t think I was listening. And it’s not the worst name you’ve called me is it? Start again, please.” Aiden stifled a laugh. “Sorry Bailey, hard to get good talent.”
Bailey smiled. This was so unexpected, so precious.
Cody sighed, a big cartoon like gesture, his shoulders travelling up to meet his ears. He summoned his best narrator voice with a bout of lung busting coughing, then began.
“Once upon at time, there was this big doofus called Aiden.”
Bailey laughed, turning to look at Aiden who wore a half embarrassed, half delighted expression.
“And he was married to a fairy princess called Shannon and they lived in a mansion Shannon built and the big doofus thought they’d live happily ever after.”
Standing to the side of the makeshift stage, Jas said, “I don’t like this
bit, it’s too sad, do we have to do it?”
“Jas!” hissed Cody.
“But it gets happy again,” Aiden coached.
“Oh yeah!” she said.
Cody picked up the narration. “The fairy princess had a terrible, horrible, accident.
Jas said in a voice Bailey guessed was supposed to be a whisper, “You forgot a word.”
“Terrible, horrible, preventable accident. And she died and this messed the big doofus up like huge for a really, really long time. And he’s still pretty messed up, because all his dreams died with the fairy princess too. But then along came these two really cool kids.”
This was Jas’ cue. She tip-toed on, waving a fairy wand that had flashing pink lights from the star on the top. “That’s us. But we weren’t orphans like Agnes and Edith.” Bailey smiled wider at the Despicable Me reference.
“And the really cool kids helped Aiden with stuff.”
Jas said, “Especially Chauncey, who is a boy.”
Chauncey? Bailey looked at Aiden for qualification.
“The cat,” said Aiden out of the side of his mouth as Cody eye-rolled and ploughed on. “And the big doofus started to get his act together. He got a cleaner for his mansion and he got a hot new chariot with mag wheels and an iPod connector, and a new job in a glass palace where all the people were scared of him.”
Jas danced in a little circle, waving her wand. “We weren’t scared of him ever.”
Aiden said, “There’s a good bit of improvisation going on here.” Jas said, “What’s that?” He said, “Never mind. Get on with it, Code.”
“And then he met a new princess.”
Jas pointed her wand at Bailey, “That’s you.”
“She is called Bailey.”
“She knows her name, Code,” said Jas.
Bailey covered her mouth so she wouldn’t laugh in what she thought was probably the wrong place, although who knew. Beside her, Aiden’s shoulders where shaking with suppressed mirth.
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