“Are you going to keep pacing on my front porch or actually come inside?” Maple called out from inside her home.
I stood still, thrown off by being caught pacing, even though Maple hadn’t turned to see me.
“Open the door, son,” she said, urging me to step inside her home.
I did as she said, closing it behind me. She sat at her dining room table, flipping tarot cards with crystals and lit candles surrounding her. It looked like a fire hazard of sorts. As Maple flipped through her deck, I walked over to her.
“How did you know I was out there? Your shades are drawn,” I asked.
“Call it a sixth sense.”
I went to take a step closer, and she turned to face me with her deck in hand. “Pick a card?”
I shook my head. “I don’t believe in that stuff.”
“What do you mean by that stuff?”
“Witchcraft and voodoo mumbo jumbo.”
Maple smiled, unmoved by my dismissal of her craft. “People don’t believe in a lot of things. That doesn’t mean it’s not real. Regardless, I understand. Aries men are a bit harder to believe in things not directly in front of them.”
“I’m an Aquarius, not an Aries.”
She raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t believe in this witchcraft, voodoo mumbo jumbo?”
“I don’t. Though, I’ve been told enough to know my zodiac sign.”
“Spoken like a true Aries,” she said again, laying out a spread of cards.
“I told you, I’m not an Aries.”
“Of course, you aren’t. With your sun sign, at least. But, sweetheart, today I’m talking about your moon.”
I had no clue what the hell she was going on about, and she smiled bigger, noticing my confusion. She placed down her final cards, studied them, made a stumped sound, then looked at me, looked at the cards, then back at me. “Hmph,” she muttered again.
Then she blew out her candles, stacked her deck, and turned her chair to face me. “How can I help you, Damian?”
“I have a question for you.”
“I know. So, ask.”
“Is there any chance that Jeff is hurtful toward Stella?”
Maple raised an eyebrow. “Did he do something to her?”
“Yes, well, no. Not physically that I can tell. I just have a bad feeling.” I shifted in my shoes. “He’s rude to her. And undermining. And a drunk.”
“Oh, yes. He is all of those things.”
“But she pretends to see the best in him.”
“Oh, sweetheart, she’s not pretending. It’s her gift and her curse—seeing the best in people.” She picked a lighter and lit a bunch of sticks and leaves. They began to burn and create smoke as she waved it around in the space. “Saging,” she explained. “It rids negative energy.”
“You’ll probably have to use a lot on me.”
She smiled a sincere grin. “Not as much as you’d think.” She placed the sage bunch on the fireplace in a vase and then wiped her hands clean on a rag sitting on the table. “So, you think Jeff is toxic.”
“I do.”
“And you’re worried about Stella’s safety.”
“No.” I cleared my throat. “I’m not concerned about her life.”
Maple laughed and walked over to me. She placed a hand against my forearm. “It’s okay to care, sweetheart. It doesn’t make you weak.”
I didn’t respond because I didn’t care.
Right? Right. I didn’t care. But…
“He speaks down to her as if she lacks intelligence.”
“Yes. Between you and me, I think he’s a prick. I did a few readings on him, and well… he’s not a good person.”
“Based on your tarot cards?”
“That and based on actual interactions with him.”
“Why does she stay with him? It’s clear he’s awful.”
“As I said, she sees the best in people, and you”—she walked to the kitchen and began to heat her kettle—“see the worst in individuals.”
“My gift and curse,” I muttered.
“You’re quick to catch on.”
“What do I do? How do I show her he’s no good without her being defensive?”
“That’s the tricky part. She’s protective of the ones she loves. Even those who are undeserving of her protection. If you come at her sideways about one of her people, she’ll attack.”
“I only know how to be blunt.”
“I don’t think that’s true.” She tossed a few herb-like substances into a mug, poured hot water onto it, and then handed it over to me. “I think gentleness is at your core.”
I huffed, taking the mug from her. “Did your tarot cards tell you that about me?”
“No. Your eyes did. You’re not the only one good at reading people’s energy. I’ve been studying people since before you were even born. Both with tarot cards and without.”
I sipped the tea and made a face.
She laughed. “Cat piss normally has people reacting that way.”
My eyes bugged out of my head. “I’m sorry, what?!”
Her chuckles vibrated off the walls. “It’s a joke, and your reaction is worth the price of admission. Dandelion tea can be a bit bitter to some. The lavender should help, though.”
“I’m not a tea person.”
“I know.” She smiled. I hated it. I hated it because she stared at me as if she knew all parts of me. I didn’t like people who were able to read me. It made me feel too vulnerable. “My advice for you? Be the person toward Stella that Jeff isn’t.”
My brows knotted. “How do I do that?”
“Simple. Be yourself.”
“I’m not a nice person.”
“Just because you keep lying to yourself doesn’t make it true. Do you know what Stella needs? A friend who’s in her corner, standing up for her when she doesn’t do it for herself.”
“You want me to be her friend?”
“No.” She shook her head. “You want to be her friend. That’s why you’re pacing on my front porch overthinking everything right now.”
“What if she doesn’t want to be my friend?”
“For a man who’s good at reading people, you sure missed this mark, huh?” Maple laughed. “Don’t be so naïve, Damian. Stella has been trying to be your friend from day one.”
I grimaced and thanked her for the advice even though it didn’t seem helpful at all. As I began to leave, I hesitated and looked back at Maple, who was back at her tarot cards. “Have you done readings on me?” I asked.
“Yes, I have.”
“And what have they told you?”
“What does it matter?” She smiled wide, the kind of smile a grandmother shared with her too young to understand grandchildren. “You don’t believe in this stuff anyway. Have a good day, Damian.”
For weeks, I’d been putting off meeting with any of the wicked stepmothers for as long as I could, but I finally had to face the fact that I had to meet each of them one-on-one. The first one up was Rosalina. She invited me to a musical, and I was somewhat grateful for that because it meant we didn’t have to talk to one another for a good two hours.
I couldn’t focus on the show, though. I found myself studying everything about her instead. Was that my nose? Did she have my side profile? I tapped my fingers when nervous, the same way she had during the performance? Was she nervous? If so, why? Because of the money? Because of the show? Because she was my mother?
Are you my mother, Rosalina?
After the show, we headed out for dinner. She ate a salad, and I had a ribeye steak. She went on and on about the acting in the show, judging the performers as if she could do better. I doubt she could. Then again, she could’ve been acting right now in front of me, pretending not to be my mother.
Are you my mother, Rosalina?
“So, what do you think?” she asked me, making me realize I’d been zoning out and overthinking everything without listening to the actual words coming out of her mouth.
/> “Hmm?”
“About Denise and Catherine. Who do you think is your mother?”
My stomach knotted up. “I’m not interested in speaking on the others.”
“Of course. Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just mean, you deserve to know something like that. I couldn’t imagine how hard things were for you in your life.”
“Rather not talk about that either,” I grumbled.
She frowned, and I almost believed it. Then I reminded myself that she was an actress. The whole world was probably her stage.
“Are you interested in dessert?” the server asked.
“Oh, no. I don’t do sugar,” Rosalina said, waving him off. She turned to me. “That was the hardest part about living with Kevin and Stella. Stella was obsessed with sugar. It’s no surprise that she’s so big to this date.”
Piss off, Rosalina.
“I swear, every night, she was eating a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Shoving it into her mouth because it was her favorite. With a million rainbow sprinkles. I swear, she had enough for a whole company, and it shows on her body.”
“There’s nothing wrong with her body,” I coldly snapped.
She laughed and leaned in toward me. “Please, Damian, you don’t have to play nice. It’s no secret she’s massive. I bet she’s one scoop of ice cream away from diabetes.”
Please don’t be my mother, Rosalina.
I stood and left the table without giving her another word. Even if it turned out that woman was my mother, she’d never get a cent from Stella or me.
15
Stella
Eight Years Old
* * *
Grams lived in the guesthouse and helped Kevin out a lot, cooking and cleaning the house, making sure I went to school on time. She even helped me with my hair. “Bless Kevin’s heart, but he doesn’t have a clue what to do with a Black woman’s hair. I can’t have you out here looking like a fool. Your mother would kill me if I did that,” Grams would say as she brushed my coarse hair, tossing it in two puffs. Grams’ hair was like mine, but she had a lot more gray parts on her head.
She was right about my hair. Kevin had broken about five combs trying to do my hair, and I normally ended up crying when he’d tug on it too much, so Grams was the one who took on fixing me up for school. She had a gentle hand.
Kevin seemed sad lately. Sometimes, I’d walk past his office and hear him crying. I’d knock on his door and see if he needed anything, but he’d always pretend he was okay.
Grams said he pretended because he didn’t want his sadness to make me sad.
She said he brought different women from his past into the house and took them on dates, too because he was sad and trying not to be anymore.
“Why do I have to get my hair done today?” I grumbled to Grams on a Sunday morning.
Normally she only messed with my hair five days a week, and Sunday was not one of them.
“I already told you. We are meeting his new girlfriend, and you have to look decent.”
“Have you met her?”
“Yes.”
“Do you like her?”
Grams frowned and paused, which meant no, but she didn’t like most of Kevin’s girlfriends. She said he was too good for them.
“I think she might make him happy, so that’s all that matters, seeing how he’s lonely,” she answered.
“Why would he be lonely? He has us!”
Grams laughed. “Yes, he does, but sometimes a person needs a partner. Plus, your mama was his best friend since they were younger than you. They were so close that their souls were probably entangled. After she passed away, I truly believe that part of Kevin’s heart died and went to the ocean with your mama.”
I bit my nails and looked down at the floor. “Why doesn’t he just talk to Mama in the ocean?”
“Well, sweetheart…one has to believe in the magic of the ocean to be able to communicate with it. I think Kevin’s been struggling to believe ever since he lost your mother to the water. But he’ll come around. Maybe having someone around will make him believe a little bit more.”
“Do you think she’ll like me?”
Grams turned me toward her and kissed my forehead. “You’re impossible not to like, Stella.” She finished putting my hair into puffs and patted me on the shoulders. “Now, go on. Go put on that yellow sundress I lay out for you on your bed. Rosalina will be here any second, and I want you to be ready to greet her.”
I did as Grams said and hurried off to my bedroom. I changed into my sundress, which was my favorite color after teal. Most of my closet was yellow and teal stuff. I loved teal because it was my favorite color. I loved yellow because it was Mama’s.
I felt my tummy flipping as I got ready. I hoped Rosalina liked me because it would be nice to have another girl in the house. Sometimes, Kevin didn’t understand things that happened to me, and I could never talk to him about my crushes. I could talk to Grams sometimes, but it wasn’t the same.
I wasn’t looking for a new mama because mine was still around in the water, but maybe Rosalina could’ve been my friend. I didn’t have many friends at school, so it would’ve been nice to have her.
After I finished getting dressed, I dashed out of my room to go back to the living room to wait for Rosalina to come. As I was running around the corner, I bumped into Kevin, making me come to a fast stop. I tumbled a little, and he caught me in his arms before I fell to the ground.
“Whoa there, speed racer,” he mentioned.
I looked up at him and saw his eyes. His eyes used to smile more. Mama always said that was her favorite part of Kevin—how his eyes could be the happiest thing on his face. But now they looked sad. That made me sad, too.
“Sorry,” I muttered as I went standing to my feet.
He flicked his thumb against the bridge of my nose and then dabbed my fist with his like we always did. “It’s okay. You ready to meet Rosalina?”
“Yes! Grams said she’s going to like me, and maybe we can be friends, too.”
“Of course she’ll like you! You’re a star.”
I struck a pose. “I know, I shine.”
His eyes didn’t look as sad anymore as he kept chuckling. “You’re sassy like your mother, you know that, right?”
I lowered my eyebrows. “Do you miss her, Kevin?”
“Every single day.”
“Then why don’t you talk to her in the ocean? That’s how I talk to her, Grams, too! You could do it if you wanted to.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” He rubbed his hand against the back of his neck and bent down in front of me. His hands fell against my shoulders, and he whispered. “I talk to the ocean. It just doesn’t talk back to me.”
I leaned in closer to him and whispered back, “That’s cuz you’re not listening closely enough.”
His mouth parted to speak, but the doorbell rang. Following right after that, we heard a shout. “Honey, I’m home!”
“Rosalina’s here,” he said.
My heart was doing cartwheels as excitement filled me up.
Kevin smiled and leaned forward, giving me a forehead kiss. Mama used to kiss my forehead, too. I hoped Kevin never stopped that. Ocean kisses, Grams called them because the forehead kiss sent waves of comfort throughout my body. They were reminders that someone loved me.
“I know I’ve dated a lot, but this thing with Rosalina is going to be different,” he told me, but I felt as if he was really trying to tell himself. “I promise, Stella.”
I nodded my head as he stood back up. He stared at me with a smile and those sad eyes. “Every single day, you look more like your mother. UB, you know?”
I smiled. “UB.”
UB stood for universal blessings. Little things that happened in the world that felt like small gifts from the universe. We learned a lot of our weird sayings and stuff from Grams. She was into magic and tarot cards, crystals and sage, and all of that stuff. When it came to the universe, Grams had a gift of knowing l
ots of stuff. UB was just one of the millions of things she’d taught Kevin and me.
“Come on.” He took my hand into his. “Let’s go see her together.”
We walked toward the living room, and there Rosalina was, standing there tall as ever in her high heels and fancy clothes. Her driver was bringing in some of her suitcases, and she was typing nonstop on her cell phone with big black sunglasses that covered her whole face.
When she saw us, she stopped typing and slid her phone into her purse. “Kevin!” she cried out, rushing to him. Kevin dropped my hand, and I stepped behind him a little bit as they embraced.
She was so beautiful. I’d never seen anyone look that pretty outside of Mama and Grams.
“I missed you, baby,” Rosalina said, taking off her sunglasses. She put those in her purse, too, and then placed her hands against Kevin’s cheeks and kissed him hard. For a long, long, time.
Gross.
I scrunched up my face and looked away. It was weird seeing an adult do that kind of stuff.
Kevin pulled back from Rosalina and looked back at me. “Stella, want to say hi?”
I wrapped my arms around his leg and kept hiding behind him. He pulled me around to the front, so I stood between the two of them. Rosalina’s nostrils flared like a walrus, but she smiled big as she bent down and locked eyes with me.
“Stella, you’ve gotten so big,” she exclaimed, tapping me on the nose. “Come give your new mother a hug.”
I glanced at Kevin, then at her, then back to Kevin.
Kevin grimaced. “We were going to tell you tonight. Rosalina and I actually got married in Vegas.”
“What?!” I exclaimed, feeling sick to my stomach. But that wouldn’t make her my mama, right? I just wanted a friend.
“I know, sweetheart. Isn’t it amazing?!” Rosalina said, pulling me into the tightest hug possible. She squeezed me so tight that I thought I’d explode or something.
When she let go, Grams walked into the room, telling us all that dinner was ready.
During dinner, I didn’t say a word. I didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t my new mama. I had a mama that I talked to every single day. Just because some people were too blind to see it didn’t mean that Mama wasn’t still with me in the waves.
Western Waves Page 13