by Jewel, Bella
“You’re leaving!” Erin yells, her voice firm. “Or I’ll make you leave. You don’t scare me, Slater. Not even a little bit.”
“I can’t fuckin’ lose her again.”
His voice.
Oh God.
I press my hands over my face to fight the tears.
“Give her time. Give me your number, we’ll make contact if and when she’s ready, but that time is not right now.”
Erin.
My lifesaver.
My rock.
“Give the number, and let the girl be,” One of the men orders. “Goin’ to take time. Pushin’ ain’t goin’ to help.”
A long moment of silence.
Then Slater hands Erin a slip of paper.
I keep my hands over my face.
“Not here to hurt you, Ellie. You might not know who I am, but I’ve spent nothin’ short of a decade tryin’ to find you. I’ll wait another decade to have you, if that’s what it takes. But know this, I won’t give up. When you’re ready, we’ll talk. But we will talk.”
With that, I hear shuffling and then the front door closes.
I slowly drop my hands, tears streaming down my face, and look to Erin.
“That was me, Erin,” I whisper. “In those photos...and yet, I remember none of it.”
She grabs my shoulders, pulling me close. “I know. And I can only imagine how confused you are. We’ll get to the bottom of your story, Raven. I promise you that. We’ll get your answers. Just know, I’m here. I’m always here. And I won’t leave.”
Thank God.
Because I really don’t know who else I can count on.
I’m completely and utterly lost.
~*~*~*~
THEN – SLATER
“See the Robertson’s got a new foster kid?”
I toss my jersey onto my bed and turn around, staring at Damon who has just welcomed himself into my room, without fuckin’ knocking. Again.
He’s dressed for school, no doubt waiting for me to drive him. Apparently, he’s too good for the bus. Too cool now he’s a senior. Not to mention he has a big brother with a pretty cool rig. God fuckin’ knows Lincoln wouldn’t take him, it’s all on me. And Finn is equally as useless and painful, because he too doesn’t want anything to do with the bus, and instead also opts for me to drive him fuckin’ everywhere.
“Don’t give a fuck, Damon. What are you doin’ in my room?”
“Firstly, you’ll give a fuck when you lay eyes on her. Secondly, we need a ride to school.”
“Firstly,” I growl, spinning around, “I have better things to do then to check out a girl, can get plenty of fuckin’ girls, I’m twenty-one – not fifteen. And secondly, get the fuckin’ bus. That’s what it’s there for.”
Damon raises his brows and then purses his lips. “No fucking way, bro. No girl is going to look at me if I get off a bus. If I get out of your truck, on the other hand...”
I exhale. “I’ll look at the damned girl if you get the hell out of my room.”
He grins, and walks in further, strolling over to my window in our two storey home. I mutter a curse, and follow him, stopping and staring down. He’s right, the Robertson’s have got another foster kid. They’ve been our neighbors for as long as I can remember, and they’ve always been into helping people, especially fostering children. They’ve had a lot over the years, mostly younger kids, which was cool when we were younger, because we always had people to play with.
They’re old now, and it has been some time since they’ve had anyone in their home. But, Damon is right, there is a girl there, and she’s definitely not family. We’ve been to all their family gatherings, and I’ve never seen her before. And trust me, hers is not a face you’d forget. Fuck me, I could close my eyes for the rest of my life from this moment, and never forget that face.
And I’ve only been staring at it for a second.
Sitting on the lush grass of their front lawn, is a young girl. From a glance, I’m guessing around the same age as Finn or possibly Damon. She’s in high school, that’s for sure, which makes me feel like a fuckin’ pervert for lookin’ at her, but it’s hard to turn away. Her hair is the first thing I notice, it’s a golden blond, flowing down around her shoulders and down her back, over that extremely petite yet curvy little body.
She’s picking blades of grass, but as if she knows we’re looking at her, she turns and tips her head back, and my breath is near on knocked out of my chest.
Fuckin’ heaven.
Eyes as blue as the sky, glowing in the most flawless porcelain skin I’ve ever seen. A dainty little nose, full swollen lips, and a delicate chin. She looks like she’s made of fine china, but she’s so fuckin’ beautiful it’s almost a crime. I’ve never seen anything like her. I’ve seen hot, I’ve seen pretty, but I’ve never experienced such raw beauty in a woman. She tips her head slightly to the side, meeting my eyes.
And then she smiles.
And fuck me, I have to step back.
I have to move away.
Because if I don’t, I’m going to stare way too long and want something far too much, that is way, way out of my league.
“Holy shit,” Damon breathes, lifting his hand and waving back at her. “I hope she goes to my school, fuck. I’m going to-”
“Enough,” I growl, and he turns, staring at me.
“Whoa, bro, have you seen her? Why the hell wouldn’t I try and lay claim to that.”
Something inside me darkens with anger. “Because you don’t even fuckin’ know her, we live next door to, and respect, Bob and Marlene Robertson, and because you’re not the kind to lay claim to any-fuckin’-thing.”
“Dude, I’m seventeen, you were rolling chicks when you were seventeen.”
“Fuck me,” I groan, rubbing a hand down my face. “Do not ever fuckin’ say rolling chicks again.”
Damon grins. “It’s my time, Slater. I too have to make the Knight name proud. You and Lincoln did, it’s only fair I keep it going. Finn can have all our leftovers after we’ve slayed the town.”
Good god.
“Get out of my room, Damon. Before I knock you the fuck out.”
Damon flashes me a grin, and disappears out of the room.
He’s the light out of all three of us, there’s no doubt about that. He’s always happy, always laughing, always joking. He keeps us balanced, and god knows we need it.
Lincoln has just turned twenty-five, and has always been the leader of the pack. He’s hard, and he’s determined. He also gets himself into a fuck load of trouble, trouble which I always seem to follow him into, because he’s my brother, and he’s held us all up when we needed it. He’s the top dog, and he knows it.
Damon and Finn are only a year apart, with Damon being seventeen and Finn being sixteen. They’re thick as thieves, but Finn is far quieter, constantly trying to keep Damon from running his mouth and ruining perfectly good situations.
We’ve always been close. All four of us.
Hope to fuck it always stays that way.
Because our father is a drunk, and our mother is gone. We lost her years ago, and everything went south. We grew up hard. Lincoln raised us all when dad was passed out drunk, or had forgotten to pick us up from school. Lincoln grew up way too fast, and too early, and it shows. It shows in every way it counts. But he’s still holding us up, still working so we can stay in this house, still dragging dad up the stairs when he can’t walk, still putting food on our table.
Still holding us together.
I walk back over to the window, and stare down.
I wonder what her name is?
~2~
NOW – ELLIE
I wish I could look away.
But I can’t.
My eyes are glued to the photographs Slater left behind. Glued to the pictures of what is very obviously me, and I’m very obviously in love, and yet I don’t remember a damned thing. But I look happy, and I think that’s what’s getting to me the most. I’m happy. Really truly happ
y. The smile on my face, I’ve never seen. At least, I don’t remember seeing. And the way Slater is looking at me, I’ve never experienced anything like that before. I can see, literally see, how much he loves me.
And yet now, the man who was here earlier, looks so incredibly different.
So incredibly broken.
All because of me?
Did he really love me that much?
Does he truly still love me after so many years?
Is any of this real? Is his story genuine? Or is there an ulterior motive? I don’t know.
I don’t know anything.
And it’s making it very hard to be okay.
Very hard.
“Knock knock.”
I turn, placing the photos down onto my bed, and see Erin walking in. She’s only a few years older than me, and her beauty is utterly breathtaking. Her hair is as black as the night, but her eyes, emerald green and glowing against her fair skin. She’s petite, and curvy, and incredibly gorgeous.
I often ask her why she’s still single, because anyone would think men would be lining up at her door.
Her response is always, “Men are douchebags, I’m way better off on my own.”
And she is.
She’s strong, and happy, and determined.
She doesn’t need anyone.
So when she finds someone, I know it’s because she wants them, not because she needs them.
I aspire to be like her.
Strong and brave.
Beautiful and determined.
“Hey,” I smile.
“Still looking at those photos?” she asks, walking over and flopping down onto my bed, still dressed in her work uniform.
“I can’t seem to look away from them, I look so...happy.”
“Well...maybe you were...”
Maybe.
“You’re home early,” I notice, glancing at the clock hanging on the wall. “My shift doesn’t start for a few hours but I can go in now, if you need. Are you sick?”
Erin owns her own bakery, and she works a lot of hours to keep it going. But she’s an incredible cook, and her cakes are some of the most popular in town, people come from all over to taste them, they’re amazing. And her shop has such a wonderful atmosphere, with big sofas, tables and chair, umbrellas outside overlooking a gorgeous park.
I often go in and just kick back on a sofa with a coffee, reading a book.
Erin was nice enough to give me a job about three months ago, when we both decided I was ready to start trying to get my life in order. I don’t work often, probably only three or four shifts a week, but it’s a good start and it’s helping me adjust to my world as it is now.
It’s been a long road, but I feel like I’m finally, finally starting to learn how to just...be...again.
“No, I came home early. Tatiana is covering me. I needed to talk to you about something. I wondered if it was worth it or not, because I didn’t want to cause you any extra stress right now, but I think you need to know.”
My heart feels like it’s going to launch out of my throat.
I don’t like this already, and I don’t even know what it is she’s about to say.
“Something is wrong,” I say, meeting her eyes.
“Someone came into the bakery today, holding one of your missing signs that were distributed when Slater was looking for you. It was a man. Blond. Possibly around forty years old. He walked up to the counter and asked me if I’d seen you, he showed me the missing ad. I acted as poker faced as I could, and said no, because honestly...something felt very wrong. I didn’t get a good vibe, honey. With Slater, I felt like he was genuine. This...I don’t think this man was genuine.”
My heart feels like it comes to a complete stop.
Has he found me? Has he managed to get information out of Riley, and tracked me down?
Was I so stupid to actually believe that after a while, he might just give up and let me live my life in freedom? In peace?
Of course I was stupid.
His obsession with me, it runs deep.
Why did I ever let myself believe I could be truly safe.
“You’re going pale, Raven. Breathe.”
“Ellie,” I whisper. “My name is Ellie, so I think we should start using it. I’m only Raven to him, and it would appear he has managed to locate me.”
Erin looks concerned, understandably. She knows anything I know. Anything I could remember, I told her. She knows all about master, and the things he did when I was in his care. She knows about his deep running obsession. She knows how terrified I am of him. So I know, she’s thinking exactly what I’m thinking.
“Do you think he’s found you?” she finally asks, bundling her hands together in her lap and holding my eyes.
I can see she’s scared, but she’s still holding strong. Like always.
“I don’t think it’s him, not yet anyway, the description isn’t the same. But, my fear is, that he’s sending out men to search for me. He knows where I came from, so he knows I was most likely to come back here.”
“I’d like to know how he knew to send a man into the bakery.”
I shrug, ever so lightly. “I used to live around here, when I was younger, he also knows this. If I had to guess, I’d say that man would have asked all the shops and hotels in the area, possibly even went door to door.”
Thinking of that, makes me feel unwell.
Knowing he’s searching for me, makes my whole body feel like it wants to go into overdrive and just shut down.
I shouldn’t be so afraid of one man, but I know just how strong that one man is, and what he’s capable of doing to me.
He still owns a huge part of my mind. And I think he knows that.
“We’re going to the police,” Erin says, standing. “They need to know he’s looking for you. We’ve already spoken to them about the people who put out the signs, and they’ve talked to Slater and his, ah, group. We need to inform them that the man who held you captive, is now looking for you, because of those signs.”
I nod. Because she’s right, we do need to go to the police.
And yet, I know there is very little they’ll be able to do in regards to protection, or helping me find him. Or anything else, for that matter. They don’t have enough information to be able to truly give me the help I need, or the protection.
But there is someone who can help, who will help, but am I willing to go there?
“What about Slater, also?” I say, my voice hesitant, because even though I’m saying the words, I’m still not sure they’re the right ones.
“What about him?” Erin asks. “You don’t even remember him Ra...Ellie. We still don’t know if his intentions are good, or if there’s a whole lot more to it.”
“I know this,” I say, in full agreeance, because I do know this. “But I also know those men...the club he is part of...they’re powerful. And they might be able to help keep me safe. Because, I’m not safe. I can feel it right down to my very core. He’ll find me, one way or another, and when he does I need to know he’ll be dealt with, and that he won’t...”
My voice trails off, because that lump of fear that has been rising, now lodges in my throat. Erin scoots closer, because she knows, she knows better than anyone that my biggest fear is him finding me again, and worse, taking me. Because I know, if he gets his hands on me again, there will be no escape.
I’ll be his...forever.
“I’m not sure that’s a fantastic plan,” Erin says, screwing up her face. “I think we’re better off just leaving it with the police, for now. I looked into Slater, and his brothers. And I recognized the brothers name, immediately. Lincoln Knight. My very close friend told me that her boyfriend occasionally fights for him, that they have some sort of underground fight club that, I have no doubt, is illegal. Or at the very least, the police are trying to shut down.”
A fight club.
Lincoln.
That name doesn’t seem familiar, which only makes me feel even more frustr
ated.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have thought of it until we looked into them further, but...I’m scared, Erin. If he has eyes around, all it will take is for one of them to see me.”
She nods. “Yeah, I was thinking of that, too. I think until we can sort the issue, you’re probably not safe working at the bakery.”
My heart sinks.
It literally feels like it’s going to just drop out of my chest.
The bakery is my only peace. It’s the only place where I feel normal, like I might eventually be able to get my life back on track.
It’s my saving grace.
“I can’t give it up,” I whisper. “Erin, it’s the only thing that keeps me sane.”
She smiles, “I know this too, so I compromised. I know you have been wanting to learn how to bake, so, I spoke to Tatiana, and she agreed to let you work under her, out the back, baking for the three days a week that I’m not doing it.”
Tatiana is Erin’s other baker. When Erin started the bakery, she had dreams and hopes of doing all the baking herself, but quickly became so popular she had to hire extra help. Tatiana is an equally as incredible baker, and the idea of working with her excites me. I’ve been itching to be able to try my hand at baking.
“Yes,” I say, smiling. “You’re serious?”
“Of course,” Erin laughs. “I know how much you love working, I’m not going to ask you to give it up, I’m going to do one better and upgrade you, so to speak. Instead of spending your time serving out front, which I know you love, you can go out back where nobody can see you, and start learning to bake. Eventually, you’ll be able to handle a few days on your own.”
That idea, it sounds better than any idea I’ve heard in a good long while.
It’s like a dream come true.
I throw my arms around Erin’s neck and she hugs me, laughing.
“Thank you,” I say, and dammit, I mean it.
Her knowing just how much I need this, means the world to me.
“You’re welcome. But, we do need to go and talk to the police, sooner, rather than later.”
I nod.
“I have to head out for a bit, but I’ll be back later and we can binge watch Netflix,” she grins.