Tears welled up in my eyes, but I held them in. I squared my shoulders and said, “I did nothing to the ballet. What’s happening is between the two of us. I’m sorry you feel I have failed them. I never missed a day, a rehearsal, or a performance. I worked on my days off to make sure I never missed a step. I trained harder and longer, more than anyone else I know, never asking for a vacation or break. Whenever and wherever I was needed to perform, I was there. I did everything everyone has ever told me to do my whole life, and now the second I have found someone for me who has nothing to do with work or you or anybody else, I’ve supposedly ruined everything for everyone.”
Priscilla scowled and turned away.
I touched her shoulder. “Yes, I did know what would happen and the consequences. I’m telling work tomorrow. I hope there’s something I can do to make things right. There are still months to go before the performance, and I’ll do whatever is necessary to fix whatever harm I may have caused.”
“You will regret this,” she said gloomily. “I love you so much, Scarlet, please know that, but I can’t handle you right now.” She stormed off and left the two of us standing there.
I swallowed against the lump lodged in my throat. I expected no less from Priscilla. She was everything I had strived to be—single-minded, driven, determined—but what I needed to be was who I was, not her. Whoever I was would come out once I freed myself to be me.
I turned to Michel. “Honestly, I shouldn’t have agreed to move in here.”
“Please don’t think that,” Michel said. “We love you and want you here.”
I believed him, but after what had been said, I couldn’t live there any longer.
“I know, but it was a mistake,” I said. “Because it left me a child, not an independent woman. I’m not saying that because of Tyler. It’s my life, but I don’t really have one of my own. I’m mixed up in everyone else’s.”
“Your happiness and success, that’s what I want for you.” Michel hugged me. “You still have us, me—always. It’ll be tough, but I can see nothing but good here. I’d like Tyler to get in less trouble, but he came here and showed he’s not afraid of hard work. I like him, especially seeing how much he cares for you.”
I went to get my things and Tyler waited for me. It wasn’t until I got to the car that I let myself feel the sorrow of the night, but I didn’t give myself to it completely. I was certain there would be more to come.
Tyler and I stopped at a Vietnamese restaurant, but we decided to take the food with us back to his place. We were silent most of the ride there, Priscilla’s harsh words hanging between us, about how I had let everyone down as well as myself with my lies and deception. On the other hand, I was backed into a corner, working too hard to do whatever everyone else wanted of me. I kept being their child instead of growing into a woman they would respect. It was clear I needed to make changes in my life to gain the independence I needed. What I wasn’t sure about was what that would mean for the two of us. Tyler took me straight to the couch when we got inside his place and sat me down.
“I didn’t expect Priscilla to freak out on you like that.”
I sighed. I had expected it. It was the reason I’d asked Michel to keep what he knew between us. He had, and I regretted putting him in that position. “I should have told her and everyone else already, but I am going to. Tomorrow, I’m telling Christophe.”
“We’ll do it at the same time,” he said. “I’ll tell my boss too. I’ll tell them it’s my fault, though—I don’t want you to get in trouble.” He touched my face and I moved back from him.
“No,” I said. “Not you too. I’m tired of people trying to protect me. I don’t want to be taken care of like a child. You didn’t manipulate me or anything. I asked you for sex lessons.”
“You’re not telling them that,” he teased to lighten the mood and I smiled at him, but then shook my head.
“I’m serious.”
“So am I,” he replied. “I’m serious about you.” He took my hand and rubbed circles on the back, and that electrical spark that came when he touched me flared. I met his eyes and they bore into me with intensity. I wanted to fall into that feeling, but I had to stay fast to what I believed needed to happen between us. I flicked my gaze downward.
“What’s going on with us? I mean, we’ve spent some time together and have been…intimate, but we also have a bit of drama mixed up in here.”
“I know you’re strong, hardworking, dedicated, kind, sweet, and beautiful—should I go on? What I don’t know, I’ve got time to find out,” he said.
I stared down at my hands in my lap. “But I need to find out more about myself on my own. I need time to find my own way, before we can really see each other.”
He took my hand in his. “Sweetheart, you can have whatever you need, but don’t…”
I looked up and saw his face was jumping. I cupped his face and he lowered his eyelids.
“I just…I just found you. I don’t want you to go.” His voice was just a whisper, but the impact was like a stack of weights being piled on my heart.
“I feel the same…and so much more,” I said, my voice cracking. “Give me some time to fix my life. We both need to do that. You see strength, but I see weakness in not being the independent woman I need to be. I’ll like myself more, and maybe you’ll like me more too.”
“I like you a lot, and you have me right now. I’m not looking for more than you are.”
My heart expanded at the sincerity in his voice.
“Do this for me, please.”
“Let you leave me?” His voice was hoarse. “Not a chance. We haven’t even gotten to really get started.”
“I…I don’t want to leave you,” I stammered. “I just need time.”
He pulled me to straddle his lap, kissed my forehead, and ran his hand up and down my back. I buried myself closer until I was pressed tightly, wanting him to feel just how much I wanted him. Truly, in my heart, I loved him. I kissed his Adam’s apple and down his neck until I rested my head on his shoulder.
For a while we didn’t speak, until he broke the silence by saying, “What would you like to do the rest of the evening?”
I snuggled into his neck, my heart aching. “Anything.”
He kissed my forehead. “I’ve got just about everything here. Hell, we haven’t even gone into my game room. I have a pool table, foosball, video games, movies.”
I averted my eyes. “What about…sex?”
He lifted my chin and my heart ached at the sadness in his face. “I don’t think that would be right for us tonight.” He took a deep breath. “We can still do the other things.”
I lifted my brows. “How about we try a little of everything? I don’t know if my mind can settle on just one thing right now.”
He brushed his lips against mine. “All right. We’ll do whatever you want tonight.”
Except sex. I understood why he didn’t want to. I just needed time to set my life right, to make changes, to see how we fit together without all the secrecy.
Tyler kept his word and for a couple of hours, he kept my mind busy with pool, foosball, and a video game before we went to his bed and put on a movie that we didn’t watch. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me and held me throughout the night.
“I’ve called for a car service to take me,” I said. “It’s better if we both do this at the same time, so no one will wonder.”
“Good thinking,” he said. “I just got off the phone with my attorney, and he’s set up a brief meeting with the club law offices. I’ll be informing Coach Frost at the same time, so don’t worry.”
He hugged me. I forced myself to eat a bagel as we headed out to the car, and we noticed Tyler’s SUV blocked in by a car I recognized. Vince got out and Ma followed. She slammed the door and came over to where we stopped.
“I told Priscilla it had to be a lie,” she said, her voice rising. “Not my daughter.”
Vince came over and put his hand on her arm. They bo
th glowered at the two of us.
I came around the car, stood in front of her, and met her eye. “It’s not a lie. I came here on my own to be with Tyler.”
Tyler moved to my side. “I want a relationship with Scarlet,” he further clarified, and I glanced at him, careful not to show any problems we may have had between us in front of my family. I hoped he didn’t think our conversation lessened my feelings for him. Truly, I wanted him, but I needed my independence.
“After all I tried to teach you, you go and let some man come along and mess you up?” she spat out. “I should have never let you move.”
I folded my arms to hide my body shaking. “I should have never moved in with Michel and Priscilla. I should have stood up for myself instead of continuing to be the child you’ve never allowed to grow up.”
She scoffed and then gestured between Tyler and me with her hand. “You think sex makes you a woman? It doesn’t. Being a grown woman means making smart decisions, not sneaking around deceiving everyone who has been trying to help you.”
“I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d react this way,” I said, sticking my chin out. “You’ve interfered with every date I’ve ever had or gotten involved to end things.”
She blinked at me. “It wasn’t like that. I was protecting you and helping you progress in your career.” She glared over at Tyler. “You turned my daughter against me.”
“I’d never do that, Ms. Ricci,” Tyler said calmly.
She snorted.
“No, Ma,” I said loudly, bringing her focus back to me. “This is me speaking to you. I’m…dating Tyler. I wanted to tell you at the right time, but you know now, and I’m going to tell the ballet today.”
She tutted. “After all I told you about what happened to me, I can’t believe you’re willing to throw everything away for a man who doesn’t even care about you.”
“I’m not throwing anything away,” I tried to explain. “I’m trying to have a relationship too.”
“That’s what we are trying to do—start a relationship, Ms. Ricci,” Tyler said. “I care a lot about Scarlet.”
“Don’t you tell me you care. Did you ‘care’ about all the other women you were with?” She scowled. “You’re a man, so you’ll land on your feet after a scandal, and you have your money to fall back on if your career fails.” She pressed on her chest. “Scarlet knows it’s not the same for a woman. They’ll talk bad about her and pass her by for the scandal. She worked too hard to get this far for you to mess her up. Her reputation will be ruined because of you.”
Vince ran his hands up and down her arms. “Calm down, Olivia. Please.”
“I’m not mixed up. I love him,” I blurted out, and she flinched. A tremor shot through me as fear put my nerves into a frenzy. My true feelings were out and Tyler had heard, but I wouldn’t take them back, not even under the hard fix of my mother’s eyes, which were filling.
She choked back tears. “He doesn’t love you. He’ll use you for sex and leave you.” She turned to Tyler. “Even I know about how you treat women.”
“That’s my past and I can’t do anything about that, Ms. Ricci,” he said. “But it’s different with Scarlet. I don’t plan to leave her. We’d like to continue seeing each other and are ready for everyone to know about it.”
“Don’t you talk to me,” she hissed at him. “All I want you to do is leave my daughter alone. She’s young and impressionable. She doesn’t know what she’s doing.”
“I most certainly do. Please stop being rude to him,” I said to her. “We want to be together. Ma, please.” My voice caught in my throat. I moved to hug her, but she moved closer to Vince and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
The car service pulled up and the driver got out. “Ms. Ricci? Are you ready?”
I felt Tyler’s hand on my back. “We need to leave, sweetheart.”
He had his meeting and I needed to tell Christophe and the company before practice.
“We’ll have to discuss this later,” I said to Ma and Vince. “I’ve got to go to work.”
“What work?” she said mockingly then turned her head toward Vince. “Listen to her, she’s so lost. She still thinks she has work to do at the ballet.”
I bit into my cheek hard but kept my cool. “Of course I have work, Ma. I’ve never heard of any other dancer being fired over having a relationship. I’m going there and telling them since they did have a client relationship policy. I’m not going to stop seeing Tyler, and I hope you both will come to accept us.”
“If you stay with him, you’re throwing away your chances, and I’d rather not be around you and watch you do that,” she said solemnly.
My heart constricted at her words, but I wouldn’t back out now. “I’m sorry, Ma, and Vince. I’m not going to stop seeing Tyler. I hope in time you’ll understand.”
Tyler pulled me back and wrapped his arms around my waist possessively. “I’m sorry, Ms. Ricci. I hope you can accept us.”
She got in the car and slammed the door, and then they left.
When I walked into the ballet, there was a note for me to go directly to the office. Alexia, who worked behind the desk, gave me a morose look. She picked up an envelope from her outgoing mail tray. “You can collect whatever you need from your locker today, but you’ll need to await their decision before returning to the company. Everything is outlined in the papers I’ve given to you.”
I took the envelope and glanced over at Christophe’s closed inner office door. “I have nothing I need to collect, thank you. May I please speak to Christophe?”
The door opened; he must have heard me. “My office. Now.” Christophe’s face was etched with disappointment. “I’ve received calls on your behalf,” he said. “I’d like to hear your side of the story.”
I took a deep breath to cool down my frustration. I could just imagine my mom and Priscilla meaning well, but not realizing they were denying me the opportunity on my own. It didn’t matter now. I was there and ready to tell him myself. “I have come to discuss the relationship I have with Tyler Wilson from the program. I know he’s a client and you recently had me involved with the program. I know it’s against our policy to see clients, and I didn’t tell you or anyone. I’m sorry.”
He sighed. “I know, and in your defense, you’re not in the performance. I did mention as much to our management team. After all, you’re not the first to break the rule over the years. However, we are firm in our policy with clients. It’s three weeks suspension in addition to removal from any work or association with the program.”
I lowered my head. It could have been worse, I told myself. I wasn’t demoted, or fired, which of course was expected and reasonable. However, I’d never been away for more than a week in all the years I’d been a part of the company. “I understand.”
“Three weeks may not seem long,” he continued, as if following my train of thought. “However, as you are well aware, we practice ten hours a day or more. Even factoring in your days off, that’s a lot of practice time to miss.”
I nodded quickly, fighting down the tears that rose in my eyes.
“I realize your desire to have a relationship,” Christophe said softly. “Hell, in some ways I even encouraged it. Unfortunately, you went about it with a client and didn’t inform us of this conflict sooner.”
I swallowed. “I wasn’t certain of the relationship until very recently, and as soon as I knew myself, I came to see you. My family chose to tell you first, even though they knew I was on my way here.”
“I realize that,” he said. “They called to get me to help you see that this relationship would be a distraction and disrupt your focus, but in the end, you’re an adult. It’s your responsibility to choose what is right for you.”
“Yes,” I agreed wholeheartedly, straightening in my seat. “I’m here to take responsibility and accept the company’s policy and decision.”
“Yes, indeed. There is more, I’m afraid,” Christophe said. “Ballet comes first and is
unforgiving. You’ll be down in rank when you come back. If you don’t fit in flawlessly with those around you when you return, you’ll be back in the corps. As it is, you will be too far behind to keep your gala solo. Therefore, I’m giving your dance to Yasmine.”
I put the envelope down on the seat next to me and smoothed my hands down the front of my pants. “I deserve and accept your decision. I apologize to you all and will come back ready to work hard. I’m truly sorry, Christophe.”
“You need to leave now,” he said softly.
I rushed out the door and onto the sidewalk where I ran three blocks before I stopped and allowed the first tears to fall. They fell en masse and I let them come, not caring where I was or who saw me. I buckled under the weight of the pressure I had in my life. I hurt with the pain I’d caused to all those I cared about. I deserved to be punished, but I also deserved to find love and happiness. Once I reached a calming point, I blindly reached into my bag to get a tissue. When I could see again, I noticed the light of my phone flashing with an incoming call. I was surprised to find it was my older brother, Phillip.
“You heard I’m seeing Tyler and I’m in trouble,” I said on answering.
“I did,” he said. “You lost your job?”
“No,” I said. “I got suspended for three weeks.” I considered leaving out the part about my solo, but decided to come clean on that. Secrets had cost me enough, and I was done with them.
“That piece of shit—” he started.
“He’s not,” I said. “This was me too. I’ve been with him.”
He scoffed. “Ma said you were too lost—guess she was right.”
“Ma’s not willing to give him a chance, but I’ve got things to do instead of fighting with you on the phone.”
“Wait, I didn’t just call to fight. I called because of Ma.”
Something in his tone made my heartbeat quicken. “Is…is she all right?”
He sighed heavily. “She will be, but Vince just took her to the hospital.”
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