“I can’t leave you.”
She leaned into him, brushed her breasts against his chest, and tipped her pelvis against his erection. “What can you do?”
He nipped her lower lip. He knew this was about more than sex. But sex was on the forefront of his mind. Touching her, caressing her, showing her his emotions was easier than explaining what the loss of her, what they had, would do to him. Not being able to see Celeste, touch her, talk to her, hear her laughter and share her life would kill him. He’d die a slow, lonely death. He also didn’t want to drag her down into his private hell. Into the depths of guilt that still weighed on his conscience and haunted him more than he’d admit to anyone.
“Is that the best you’ve got?” she taunted, when he soothed the nip with a flick of his tongue.
Framing her face with his hands, he stared into her eyes. “Are you sure you want this?”
“Meaning?”
“Me. The man I am. I told you about Renee, about Tony, but do you have any idea what I’ve become since that day?”
She ran a hand along his jaw. Her caress so soothing, so filled with deep tender affection, had him swallowing around the lump in his throat.
“John, the man I know is hard, but not cruel. Everything about you has to fit into a nice little slot of logic, and yet you’ve opened yourself up to me. Not just with your personal baggage. You believed in me, and you have no idea what that means to me. And I believe in you. Whether or not there is an us when all is said and done...I don’t know. I’d like there to be, because you’ve touched a part of me I didn’t know existed.”
He rested his head against hers, his mouth mere inches from hers. “Celeste, being with you has been the best days of my life. I don’t want it to end, I don’t want to walk away, but I also don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t.”
He raised his head, their gazes collided. Simple as that, he realized he didn’t have to. He could have her. Now. And later, when the case was over, suggest she join him in Chicago. Hell, he had the money. He’d buy out her dad, and sell the diner. He’d take her away from a life she was living for someone else. He’d take care of her, cherish her, give her anything she wanted to have her with him.
Couples joked about their better half, but in all honestly, he believed she was the better half of him. She’d filled him with hope for the future, a future that before setting foot into Wissota Falls had seemed bleak.
“I won’t,” he promised, and captured her lips. Sealed that promise with a searing kiss that left them both breathless. She owned a part of him now. Now he wanted to own a part of her. He needed that part of her heart, her soul. Without it, he’d survive, but his existence would be lonelier than it had been before he’d met her. He’d tasted affection, the promise of more with Celeste. To lose that? He kissed her harder, with more determination. He refused to lose what he had with her when she was willing to give, to receive. When he was willing to give right back and open to whatever she had to offer him.
Breaking the kiss, he took her hand and kissed her knuckles.
She ran a hand through his hair as he gazed up at her, a teasing smile playing on her lips. “Come to bed with me.”
“To sleep?” he asked as he inched his lips up her wrists.
Fisting his hair, she halted his ascent. “I’m not sleepy.” She reached down, ran her palm along his erection, then snagged his belt buckle. “Actually, I want to get back to where we were.” She stripped the belt away. “Before we were so rudely interrupted.”
She pushed him back, then headed up the stairs, a sexy sway to her hips as she dangled his belt behind her. “Are you coming?” she asked over her shoulder.
They both would be soon. Very soon.
He pulled his shirt over his head as he followed her. By the time he reached the bedroom door, he had his jeans undone.
“No fair,” she said with a slight pout. “I wanted to do the honors.” She dropped to the floor, hooked her fingers into the waistband of his jeans and tugged.
He gripped her wrist. “Stop.”
“No. You said next time it would be my turn. And it’s next time. So...” She nipped at the cotton of his box briefs, her hot breath warming the material and searing his dick. “My turn.”
After everything that had just happened, he wanted to be the one giving the pleasure, not taking. Before he could utter another word, she slipped his boxers over his hips, and ran her hand along his cock. He clenched his teeth, and looked down at her.
Her face was flushed, her eyes glittered with need, desire and so much tenderness, it humbled him. Holding his gaze, she took him into her mouth.
Exquisite, he thought through the sexual haze now consuming him, as he ran his hand through her soft curls. He’d never met another woman like her, and doubted another would ever compare. He’d be a fool to walk away from her. She accepted him. His faults, his baggage. Without question, without hesitation. And at this point, he didn’t care if he’d only known her for a few days, or that the circumstances that they’d met under were not exactly ones that they could share with their children.
He gripped her hair as the thought of seeing Celeste, her belly round with his child, pierced his heart. She looked up at him, her mouth poised at the head of his cock. The words were there, at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t say them out loud. The fear of voicing any more than he already had tonight stopped him. Now wasn’t the time. He wasn’t sure if he could fulfill the promises he wanted to make, or whether or not she wanted to hear them.
She kissed his arousal, his stomach, then inched up his torso until she stood toe to toe with him. The uncertainty on her face, in her eyes, had him cupping her cheeks. “Don’t.”
“I...I’m not all that experienced. If I didn’t—”
“Don’t,” he repeated, and unsnapped her jeans. “I love the way your mouth feels on me.” He tugged at the material, drawing her closer to him, then leveled his lips to hers. “I need to be here.” He cupped the apex of her thighs. “Now.”
A smile curved her lips. “Then what are you waiting for?” she asked, her voice breathless as she reached for the hem of her shirt.
While she tossed her shirt and bra off, he shucked her jeans over her hips, then knelt and placed his mouth between her thighs. Though her lacy panties, he nipped and suckled. She drove her hands through his hair, rocked her hips against his mouth and released a harsh moan.
The scent of her, the heat radiating from her, had him hard and ready. He shoved the panties around her ankles and kissed her sex, licked and teased until she flew apart screaming his name.
Something primal swelled inside him. Something he’d never experienced before. He wanted to hear his name on her lips again as he made her come. Hell, he wanted the whole fucking world to know who she belonged to.
He stroked himself as he stood. “On the bed.”
Celeste couldn’t tear her eyes off his hand, the way he moved it over his thick erection. Poised at the brink of orgasm, just from the sight of him, she somehow obeyed, somehow moved her body.
“Spread your legs.”
She snapped her gaze to his and had to bite back a moan. His brown eyes had grown darker. They glimmered with something more than lust, and had her head spinning. He didn’t just want her. He needed her. And she needed him. Every day. Always.
The realization slammed into her. She’d fallen for him. Hard. He’d opened up to her. Let his defenses down, and allowed her to see the man he truly was, the man she truly...loved. Was that possible? To love someone she’d only met a few days ago? Yes, her inner voice screamed and told her not to overanalyze. To show him how she felt, even if she was too afraid to voice the words.
Scooting to the center of the mattress, she did as he’d demanded. She spread her legs. Let him look his fill, and shuddered at the way he devoured her with his eyes.
“I want to hear my name coming from those beautiful lips.” The bed dipped and he centered himself above her. “I...need
you, Celeste.” He pressed his arousal between her thighs.
She arched her back as he impaled her with one long thrust of his hips. “So good,” she whispered against his throat, then nipped at his skin.
“Very good,” he groaned as he began to move above her. Rotating his hips, thrusting slowly, deliberately.
Not enough. She grabbed his ass, loving the way his muscles bunched under her palms. “Harder.”
“Is this what you want?” he asked against her ear, then began pounding into her and taking her so close to the edge.
“Yes,” she hissed, meeting each thrust. “Oh, yes.”
Sweat beaded along his brow as he held her gaze and gave her what she wanted. Him. All of him. He filled her body with his hard arousal. He filled her mind, her heart with his unspoken emotions. She swore they coursed through her body with each sensual rock of his hips, searing her soul with unspoken, veiled promises.
She wrapped her legs around him, locking him to her body, to her heart, and flew. The orgasm ripped through her, took her to a plain she’d never been in her life. Crying out his name, she let the intense pleasure shatter her, and hoped to God that in the end, he didn’t shatter her heart.
As she rode out the ecstasy, the sheer erotic moment that sealed her love for him, he let himself go. With her name on his lips, he shuddered above her, staring into her eyes.
Dazed, dumbstruck with so many tremulous emotions, she held his gaze, then worried about giving too much of her feelings away, held him to her breasts. Tears stung her eyes. She loved him. She needed and wanted him in her life. Yet John thought he wasn’t good enough for her.
Stupid man, she thought as she held him tighter. He was everything she’d ever wanted, everything she’d ever needed. Now she had to convince him that she belonged with him, that they belonged to each other.
Chapter 18
With heavy-duty oven mitts covering her hands, Celeste pulled the baking sheet filled with chocolate chip cookies out of the oven, then placed it on the stovetop. The scent of melted chocolate suddenly overrode the smell of the buttery croissants and apple pie she’d baked earlier.
Normally, her mouth would water. Chocolate was her biggest vice. Well, it was until she’d met John. The taste of him could become more addictive than chocolate, and that was a huge problem.
Last night, okay more like today, considering it was six in the morning and they’d made love again sometime around the wee hours of two, was incredible. The sex...she’d never experienced anything more intimate in her life. Again, a huge problem.
Not that she was complaining about how John had literally rocked her freaking world, but she did have issues with the way he’d still held back. She understood that he’d been through a bad time. Her heart nearly broke when he’d told her what he’d gone through during his final months with the FBI. But sometimes you had to cut bait and move on, which was something John had done by joining CORE. Yet he’d never really moved on like he seemed to think.
She was a psychic, not a mind reader. But she sensed guilt still ate at him. She had no regrets in telling him he’d used what had happened as a crutch, and obviously he had no hard feelings, either. Considering he’d been hard and ready for her, not once, but twice.
Still. Where would they go from here? Where could they go from here? She had too much pride to up and move for him, and it wasn’t as if he’d asked her to in the first place. Plus, she had her dad’s diner to run. Without her, where would that leave The Sugar Shack? Without John in her life, where would that leave her?
Alone.
Again.
The timer dinged and she quickly pulled the pie crusts from the other oven. As they cooled she began mixing the ingredients to fill them. While whipping the chocolate concoction that she’d use for two of the four pie crusts, her thoughts drifted to Roy. What information would he reveal about her mother? She still couldn’t believe her mom had been in love with another man. Did her dad know?
“Now I know why you smell so delicious.”
She whipped her head toward the bottom of the staircase. John’s sleepy, sexy voice made her instantly regret not taking care of all her baking yesterday. She could still be in her bed waking up to his warm body and a few more orgasms.
He came around the corner, dressed in the jeans and shirt he’d worn last night, and released a low whistle. “Hell of a set up you’ve got here. Two double ovens?”
“I do all the baking for the diner at home. I’d rather do it out of the house than be stuck at the diner at all hours of the night trying to prep for the next day.”
As he approached, her heart thudded with anticipation.
He kissed the curve of her neck. “I was disappointed you weren’t next to me when I woke up.”
“I was hoping to finish before you woke,” she said, and her breath hitched as he trailed his lips lower. “I would have slipped back into bed, then woke you up...properly.”
“Properly?” he murmured against her collar bone.
“Decadently.”
He cupped her bottom, swiveled her around, and raised her on the big island she used for kneading dough and mixing ingredients. “I don’t know.” He dragging open-mouthed kisses along her jaw line. “Watching you bake turns me on,” he said, grinding his erection between her thighs.
“Does it now?” She practically purred.
“Mmm, I’m picturing you in nothing but that apron, and my cock between—”
“Celeste? You down there?” Will called from the top of the stairs.
Damn. “Yeah, Will,” she shouted back, then gave John a quick kiss. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’ll be back later. I mean, if that’s okay.”
“Are you serious? Of course it is.”
“Good.” He kissed the tip of her nose, then pulled away before Will reached the bottom of the staircase.
“Morning.” He eyed the two of them with both curiosity and disgust. She got it. No one wants to walk in on one of their siblings fooling around, it was just...gross.
“Morning,” they both said at the same time, then laughed.
Will shook his head and smiled. “How long before you’re ready to leave?”
“I’m going to head into the diner later. Roy’s stopping by for coffee. But I’d appreciate if you hauled what I’ve baked. Just give me a half hour to finish up and box the stuff.”
“Will do.” He kept his eyes trained on John. “Holler at me when you’re ready.”
After Will headed upstairs, John moved back toward her. He rubbed his palms along her hips and kissed her cheek. “Can I help with anything?” he asked as he slid his hand under her apron, then moved lower, cupping the apex of her thighs.
She moaned at the friction, and let her head drop to his chest. “As much as I’d love to fulfill your ‘banging the baker’ fantasy, I’ve got to finish this up, so...”
“All work and no play.” He nipped her earlobe. “Okay, what do you need me to do?”
After John washed his hands, she had him boxing the croissants, cookies and apple pies, while she finished making the chocolate and banana cream pies. Normally she hated having anyone intruding in her basement kitchen, but she loved the way John’s big body was always in her way. The accidental touches, the way he brushed against her, the easy intimacy between them. She’d miss him when he left, and once again wondered how the hell they could make what they had between them work.
After the last batch of cookies was boxed, she gave him a quick kiss. “Thanks for helping. But next time, if it doesn’t fit in the box, you don’t just eat it, you find a new box.”
“Huh, so that’s how it works,” he said with a big grin.
“I’m heading out,” Will called down the steps.
“Me too.” John gave her another kiss, this one a lingering, sultry kiss that had her toes curling and once again wishing they were back in her bed. “I’ll take some of these boxes on my way out.” He kissed her again. “I’ll call you later.”
; With a smile on her lips, she watched John’s tight butt as he ascended the stairs. She couldn’t wait for later, but right now, she had a heck of a mess to clean up before her coffee date with Roy.
An hour later, showered and jacked up on caffeine, she paced the living room and wondered if maybe she should grab her mom’s journal. A part of her didn’t want Roy reading her mother’s words. They’d been her private thoughts, and as it was, she’d felt like a bit of a voyeur after reading them last night.
Before she could decide, the doorbell rang. Her stomach somersaulted. She didn’t know why. After all Roy might not even know anything about Ian. But what if he did? How would it make her feel to learn about the man her mother had loved before marrying her father?
Drawing in a deep breath, she opened the door and smiled. “Morning, Roy.”
“Morning, honey,” he greeted her, and entered the foyer. As she was about to shut the door, he stopped her, then craned his head back outside. “Are you coming or not?”
She frowned. “Who’s with you?”
His green eyes held wariness and concern. “A friend I want you to meet.”
Just then, a man who she figured to be somewhere in his early fifties approached. She studied him from his salt and pepper hair, to his bright blue eyes, to the tailored suit he wore down to his shiny shoes. “Sorry about that, I got caught up checking out all those little men you have surrounding your house like an army of soldiers. Hope you don’t mind that I tagged along with Roy.”
“No,” she said, unable to tear her gaze from his as a weird sense of déjà vu tore through her. He seemed so familiar, yet she’d never met him before in her life. At least she didn’t think so. “I’ve got a full pot of coffee and plenty of fresh baked croissants in the kitchen. You’re more than welcome to join us. I’m Celeste Risinski.” She offered her hand.
He took her hand, and she swore his eyes misted before he blinked. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Celeste. I’m Ian Scott.”
CORE Shadow [1] Shadow of Danger Page 24