A Way to Get By

by T. Torrest

  “Tony, wait. I don’t think—”

  “No arguments. Virginia and I will help you two through this. Just like old times.” He gave me a wink at that, and left me to get back to work.

  Sure, Tony. Just like old times.

  CHAPTER 5

  The Great Suburban Showdown

  BRENDA

  Friday, October 10

  1969

  I pulled my cardigan tighter around my shoulders and tried to concentrate on the screen. Eddie insisted that there was no better way to watch a movie at the drive-in than with the car top down but the temperature had dropped along with the setting sun, and I was doing all I could to ward off the chill.

  He’d just bought the car over the summer, and I guess he was trying to show it off. I had to admit, it was really far-out. The Mustang was brand-new, red, sleek, and shiny… and suited him to a T. It had an ample backseat, too, which was where Virginia and Anthony were presently getting cozy as I sent up prayers of thanks to the BVM for the gear shift separating my body from my date’s.

  Not that it discouraged him. He’d been inching closer to my side of the car all night, tossing out the occasional flirty comment, and generally acting like the cad that he was. I don’t know why I was surprised. I thought I would’ve been thrilled to finally be out on a date with Eddie; I’d been googly-eyed over the guy for the better part of three years. But it was easy to daydream about him from afar. Actually having his gorgeous form moving ever closer to my body was positively terrifying.

  Paul Newman and Robert Redford were just getting ready to jump off a cliff when Eddie decided to put his arm around me. Although, I suspected his motivation had less to do with my shivering and more to do with his goal of placing his hand closer to my boob. He had his palm draped over my shoulder but his thumb was floating in dangerous proximity to the side of my bra. Making it with Wilson Edwards while watching Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid was certainly not what I dreamed I’d ever be doing in my Maidenform.

  “You want some popcorn or something?” he asked.

  “No thanks.”

  “A Coke?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “How ‘bout a hot dog?”

  The suggestive rise of his eyebrows wasn’t lost on me, and my mouth dropped in astonishment. Before we even came out tonight, I was nervous about what he’d expect of me during our date. He’d thrown out a few subtle innuendos over the course of our evening but this latest comment flat-out confirmed my fears.

  Virginia stifled her giggle as Anthony’s voice piped in from the backseat. “Eddie, leave her alone, for chrissakes.”

  Eddie smiled through an exaggerated sigh as he released his hold on me to tap the steering wheel with his thumbs. “Hey, man. I’m just trying to take care of my girl.”

  “She’s not your girl yet, jerkpot. Keep acting like a mauler and she never will be.”

  Eddie just snickered before shooting me a wink. “Yeah right.”

  He was so darned cocky. I expected him to be confident, but I wasn’t digging the conceit. I was also unfathomably regretting that I’d agreed to this date. When Eddie asked me, I was on top of the world. Almost immediately afterward, however, Anthony stated that he and Virginia would be accompanying us. I couldn’t at first understand why he felt the need to play chaperone, but I was starting to figure it out. I’d spent most of the evening warding off his advances.

  I mean, I knew that he was a ladies’ man, but I guess I always assumed it was because there were so many ready-and-willing ladies at his beck and call. I thought he’d act more like a gentleman when he was on a real date.

  I was a bit spooked by this version of him and knew I should have been feeling entirely turned off. But I have to admit, there was a teeeeny tiny little part of me that was intrigued by it. A wolf in wolf’s clothing, he didn’t try to hide who he was or what he wanted. He made no apologies for the fact that he found me attractive. The way he leered at me or cocked an eyebrow or quirked his lip. It was all serving to make me feel supremely… feminine. There was no way to forget I was anything but a woman when I was at the receiving end of such dripping male sex appeal. Not only a woman, but an incredibly desirable woman at that. No boy had ever made me feel that way before.

  And no sweater could save me from the shiver that ran down my skin that time.

  Anthony gave up on playing Superman to continue making out with his girlfriend. I was surprised to see Virginia kissing him back. Even though she’d been going out with boys since we were fourteen, she was normally so sweet and innocent about it. I guessed she got over it, though, because those two were necking like old pros.

  I kept my eyes front and center after that.

  Goosebumps broke out down my arm as Eddie brushed my hair over my shoulder to lean close, his breath warm against my ear as he whispered, “That should be us right now.”

  Trying to avoid melting into a puddle, I returned, “They’re going steady. We’re not.”

  “I could change that, you know.”

  My heart leapt before I realized that he wasn’t necessarily asking me to be his girlfriend. He was merely testing my reaction to his possible consideration.

  I gave a huff and crossed my arms again. “You could, but let’s not pretend that you will.”

  His head jerked back as he furrowed his brows, looking at me in bewilderment. “Why would you say that?”

  “Eddie, please. Everyone knows that you don’t ever go steady with anyone.”

  I wasn’t trying to force his hand regarding our relationship status; I was simply stating a fact. I couldn’t understand what he was waiting for, though. He had to know I wasn’t into this new, fast-and-loose type of dating and I guess I assumed he’d asked me out because he was finally looking for something a bit more traditional.

  “Maybe I just never met the right girl.”

  Eddie put a hand on my knee as his lip curled dangerously. He was trying to be charming but instead, his “promising” words only served to get my feathers up. Didn’t he say I wasn’t like his other girls? Why was he treating me like one? Apparently, he only thought I was the “right girl” for one thing and one thing only.

  Fat chance, big shot.

  I’d finally had it with the whole, stupid evening. He’d wasted our entire night together—first by treating me like one of his “one-night girls” and then by throwing an insincere line at me like I actually was one. I couldn’t believe I almost fell for it!

  He nudged into me as his blue-green eyes flashed with expectation, waiting for me to turn into putty from his words and his touch. Instead, my blood turned to fire as I answered, “Maybe you shouldn’t treat her like a common tramp when you do!”

  I whipped open the car door and stomped off toward the playground. I didn’t have any idea what I was going to do when I got there; I was just trying to get as far away from Wilson Edwards as humanly possible. But sure enough, just as I passed the snack bar, Eddie was on my heels, chuckling out loud and attempting to cool me out. “Bren! Hey, Bren, c’mon. Wait up!”

  He was laughing. Who the hell did he think he was?

  I was so steamed that I whirled on him, my hand involuntarily flinging forward in an attempt to slap him. Eddie’s smile vanished in an instant as he grabbed my wrist, and instead of reveling in the satisfying smack of my palm across his jaw, I found myself trapped in his iron grip. His teeth clenched as his low voice warned, “You don’t want to do that, Bren.”

  We were bathed in shadow from the building, and I suddenly realized how careless it was to storm off into an abandoned area with only a predatory lecher for protection.

  I was angry and out of breath from my trek across the lot. My eyes were shooting daggers as my chest heaved, the two of us staring each other down. Eddie was cautious as he released my wrist, probably expecting me to try and hit him again… but I wound up smashing my lips to his instead.

  From the first contact of our mouths against one another, I was lost. My head immediately went dizzy
and I was afraid I was going to faint. My throat let out an involuntary moan, and I think the sound stunned him even more than it did me.

  He slid his hand under my hair and pulled my face closer, deepening the kiss, setting me on fire.

  I’d never felt anything like it and I couldn’t bring myself to break away, even when his hands slipped from my nape and slid over my hips, even when he pulled me tighter along the length of his body and groaned into my mouth. My fists gripped his shoulders, steadying myself, losing myself.

  His palm started to roam up my side, around to my front… and that was enough to snap me out of the moment.

  I immediately pulled back, raising my fingers to my trembling lips. I couldn’t believe I had just kissed him. I couldn’t believe he had kissed me back. But mostly, I couldn’t believe how amazing it felt! I thought I was angry. So, where the heck did that come from?

  To cover for my disjointed thoughts, I chastised his groping. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  He ran a thumb over his lips, a sheepish expression on his face. “I’m sorry, Bren. You deserve better. I know you’re not… Sometimes I forget that not all girls are the same.”

  “You’re right. Some of us have class,” I returned.

  Oh sure. Making out with a guy on the first date behind a snack bar. Real classy, Brenda.

  Eddie must’ve been thinking the same thing because he chuckled as he said, “Look. I really like you. I’ve never met a girl that I ever really liked before. I want to get to know you.”

  “Yeah, right. You’ve been acting like there’s only one thing you want to know about me.”

  He let out with a deep breath as he ran his hands through his sandy hair. “I really am sorry. I was nervous, if you want the truth.”

  I wasn’t sure if I believed him and warily considered his words. “Nervous.”

  “Yeah. You know… I guess I was trying to play it cool, live up to my reputation. It’s not who I am, I promise. At least it’s not who I want to be.” He reached forward and laced his fingers with mine, the usual storm in his eyes settling into a calming blue-green sea. “Can we just forget about what a putz I’ve been all night and start over?”

  It was a sweet enough olive branch and I found myself debating the merits of accepting his apology. I wasn’t yet convinced that the reward would outweigh the risk but I was convinced I was seeing a completely different Eddie than the one I thought I knew. This Eddie was an improvement.

  When I didn’t answer right away, he asked, “C’mon. Why don’t you tell me something about yourself. Like… what’s your favorite sandwich?”

  His words took a few seconds to register. Once they did, I couldn’t control the burst of hilarity that escaped from my throat. “My favorite sandwich?” I laughed out, unable to stop my giggling. My arms folded across my middle as I bent at the waist, caught in a hysterical, irrepressible, completely mental fit.

  Who was this guy? I couldn’t figure him out. Just when I thought I had him pegged as a big, fat jerk, he goes and says something so completely unexpected and silly. The absurdity helped to break the tension, at least. It was hard to stay angry when I was laughing so hard.

  Thankfully, it looked as though I’d seen the last of Mauler Eddie, and was finally getting a glimpse of what I hoped was Real Eddie. I liked this version way better than the old one and wanted to do what I could to keep him sticking around for a while. He was met with my first genuine smile of the whole evening as I stood back upright and answered, “Bologna and Kraft singles with potato chips. What’s yours?”

  “PB and J,” he smiled back. He must have been grateful to finally see me being myself because he kept the line of questioning going. “Favorite book?”

  “Hmmm,” I stalled, shocked yet again by the question. Who knew he cared about books? “I don’t know that I could name a favorite. I love almost everything I’ve ever read.”

  “Well, okay, what’s your most recent favorite?”

  Just to test him, I answered with a fairly new, fairly obscure title. “The Love Machine by Jacqueline Susann. It’s about this guy who’s a TV network execut—”

  “I know what it’s about. I read it last month. Stop looking so surprised.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah. It was no Valley of the Dolls, but it was pretty good.”

  I was speechless at that bit of news, and could do nothing but stand there staring at him.

  “What?” he asked, laughing. “Books aren’t gender-specific. Besides, my mother is the reader in our house. I have to make do with what’s available.”

  “But you liked them? They’re romance novels!”

  He shrugged. “I’d hardly call them romance novels. And for the record, my favorite books are mysteries. But yes, they kept me entertained.”

  I was stunned. I had no idea what to make of him. “You’re a mystery, Wilson Edwards.”

  “Well then there now. I suppose that’s a valid assessment.” He gave an exaggerated scratch to his chin along with an adorable grin which had me giggling all over again.

  I couldn’t believe it. When Eddie was being real, he was the sweetest guy I’d ever met. The false bravado he put me through all evening was worth it to get to this guy who was underneath it all.

  “Favorite movie,” he asked, getting back on topic.

  I’d gone from put-off to angry to turned-on to surprised over the span of one night with my unpredictable date. Now, all I was feeling was… happy. Our eyes met in anticipation of more than just my answer to his question.

  “This one.”

  Before I could stop myself, I was tipping my face up to his. Eddie took the cue and met my lips with his own. This kiss was much sweeter than our first. I could feel his restraint, his attempt to keep his hands clasped against his sides, his unwillingness to scare me off again.

  Even still, my heart pounded inside my chest. His mouth was soft yet insistent against mine, his breath tickling against my skin. He tasted so good, like Butter Rum Life Savers on Christmas morning. I breathed in, a shaky inhale that absorbed the pine needle scent of the surrounding trees. My hands reached out blindly toward his and I twined our fingers together.

  He pulled back, breaking our kiss, a satisfied grin spreading across his features. “This is, by far, the best birthday ever.”

  I was still trying to get my racing heart under control as I stared at him in shock. “It’s your birthday? And you chose to spend it with me?” I suddenly felt guilty for being so argumentative all night. Then again, that was before I knew what a nice guy he could be.

  He put a hand at my neck, his lips doing that crooked smile thing again. “I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d rather spend the night with.”

  I didn’t get a chance to chastise him for his leading comment, because Anthony’s voice piped in before mine could. “See, Gin? I knew they’d be perfect together.”

  Eddie and I both turned toward our friends. Virginia looked out of breath—yet relieved—while Anthony looked rather composed—yet smug. “When you stormed off, Ginny wanted to chase after the both of you but I convinced her to give you a little alone time.”

  My best friend and I caught each other’s eyes as Eddie threw an arm around me and shot back, “So why are you bugging us now just when things are getting good?”

  CHAPTER 6

  Half a Mile Away

  BRENDA

  Monday, September 22

  1980

  Dinner at Tony and Ginny’s. Great.

  I knew they’d try and stop this, but I also knew there wasn’t anything they could say to change our minds. Eddie and I needed to do this. We’d tear each other apart otherwise.

  I sat down on the edge of the bed to put my heels on, but I lost my balance and sank into the mattress with a squish. The stupid waterbed. I don’t know what the hell Eddie was thinking when he bought the damn thing.

  A few years back, the two of us were getting ready to go out for our customary anniversary celebration at The Pl
aza. No matter how bad our financial situation got, we’d always manage to pull it together enough to hit New York City for a few drinks. I’d throw on a pretty dress; Eddie always wore his suit.

  That year, though, we had a slight excess of cash. Unbeknownst to me, Eddie had been saving up for a couple of years. Had I known there was any extra money socked away, I would have used it to pay for school or found some other just-as-good place to invest it. But apparently, Eddie had other ideas.

  He’d been sitting in the living room with ants in his pants and I didn’t know what the heck was going on. Sure enough, the doorbell rang and Eddie jumped up to answer it. He was met with a couple of Sears delivery guys hauling in box after box, and Eddie directed them to our bedroom. The only thing we had in that room was our bare mattress on the floor and a few laundry baskets that held our clothes, so it was no problem for Eddie to clear a space for my present.

  It was a sweet gesture, really. And trust me, we made good use of the thing. But every time I went to lay down on that damned waterbed, I couldn’t escape the feeling that I was laying across my abandoned college degree.

  I dislodged myself from the confines of my squishy prison and stood up to check my reflection in the wall mirror. I didn’t know why I felt the need to get all dolled up, but something about looking my best always gave me a boost of confidence.

  Smoothing my hands down the front of my red wrap dress, I was thinking about how unfair it was of me to wear the thing. It was always Eddie’s favorite dress on me, one which was never worn for more time than it took for him to rip it off my body.

  I hadn’t seen him in over a week, ever since he packed his bags and moved out. The original plan was that he’d sleep in Virginia and Anthony’s guest room but he must’ve come up with a different arrangement at the last minute. I had no idea where he’d been spending his nights. I’d already started to get paranoid that he found some hot-to-trot hussy’s place to crash. The thought made me physically ill.