by Wendy Burge
Surging to her feet, Christina began to pace in front of her concerned friend. Back and forth she paced, like a caged animal. “Every blasted night I lie in my lonely bed wondering why. Why am I denying myself something that is taken for granted between the majority of married couples throughout Europe? Even Robert has his little bits of muslin. So why, Laure?” she demanded passionately as she spun about and glared down into Laure’s shocked gaze. “I’ll tell you why. Because the moment I give in to my selfish desires I am scared to death that I won’t give a damn about my child back home.” Christina’s eyes were wild with pained confusion. “Then what, Laure? Some would shrug and say that I will have others. But even if I could, which is doubtful, considering our past, how could I ever forget my Eddie? Could you? Even for Clemens, whom you love just as fiercely as I love Varek, would you desert your children for him? Could you?” Her voice rose to a shrill pitch as she towered over Laure, who was now almost cringing back from the raging woman before her.
Knowing it unwise to mention the fact that Clemens was her children’s father, Laure instead gave a vehement shake of her head. For, in truth, she understood what Christina was saying. “No, never! Never in a million years could I ever desert my children.”
Christina seemed to come to her senses and, aware of what she was doing, took a couple of deep breaths. Turning about, she returned to her seat and sank gracefully onto the chair. With hands still shaking, she picked up her cup and saucer and took a fortifying sip of tea. When she looked up, her smile was forced, but calmness had settled about her again like a well-worn shawl. “Well, then, there you have it.”
Laure merely blinked at her. After a moment of speechless staring, she cleared her throat and said faintly, “Indeed. So what think you of this beautiful snow?”
∞∞∞
The next morning, Christina and Laure were standing on the steps of the Metternichs’ apartments on the Josephplatz, looking about themselves with bemused interest at the congestion of gaily decked sleighs and horses. The sleighs were each supplied with expensive furs for warmth and the horses were adorned with ribbons and bows braided into their manes. Down the street, surrounded by a curious crowd, an enormous sled could be seen with an orchestra dressed in Turkish costume already tuning up to lend itself to the festive atmosphere. Christina and Laure’s breaths misted in the frigid air with each laughing comment as they pointed out to each other all the equally beribboned and furred ladies who were loudly complaining of the cold and voicing their displeasure rather emphatically with the open sleighs, preferring enclosed carriages in which to relax.
“How shockingly dull of them,” Laure laughingly commented as they began to stroll over to the Metternichs’ personal sleigh, which was to transport them. Glancing around, Christina saw Sergei mounted on his magnificent Berber stallion and gave him a wave, which he returned immediately. She saw him turn his horse in her direction. The poor dear looked terribly bored. Actually, when she squinted at him through the brilliant morning sunshine, she could swear he looked as if he was suffering from a night of excessive drink. She hadn’t seen much of him lately, as he had relatives not too far from Vienna, and she knew he was taking advantage of his time here to visit them. She never knew where he was on any given day. Sadly, she wondered if he was trying to wean her away from his companionship. Perhaps he intended to remain in Austria when she went home. She was about to walk over to him when an all-too-familiar voice murmured close behind her, “Good morning, lark.”
Taking a deep breath, she turned about and saw Varek, looking as magnificent as ever, his cheeks ruddy with the cold winter air and his eyes alight with laughter. Perched high on his chest was Tina, giggling and restless in his arms. Seeing the identical grin on her cherubic face was beyond her tenacious resolve to resist him, and Christina found herself grinning back as she reached up and pulled Tina’s thumb from her mouth.
“We were hoping you would join us in our sleigh,” Varek beseeched with an underhanded determination that he knew could not fail. He knew she could no more say no to Tina than she could say yes to him. High above them, Tina was giving an enthusiastic nod.
Sliding a look of intense ire at him, Christina accused in a low growl, “You did this on purpose, didn’t you?”
An innocent look of confusion crossed his face, wisely erasing his smug grin, “I have no idea what you are alluding to.” Politely, he nodded at Laure, and even gave Sergei a cordial nod of the head when he drew up beside them. “Morning, Massallon. Ever the faithful watchdog, eh?” Turning to Laure, he asked playfully, “Do you know what she is accusing me of this time?”
“A form of underhanded manipulation, which is celebrated among men in general, I would assume.” Laure responded with a lopsided smile
Sergei choked off a laugh, “Don’t, I beg of you, lump me into that category. I haven’t a manipulative bone in my body.”
All three of them turned to stare at him in varying degrees of disbelief.
Still grinning, he raised his right hand. “I swear! I ask you, how can a watchdog be manipulative?” Sergei looked at Varek’s daughter, and noticed her watching him with a wide-eyed curiosity. Not helping himself, he looked back at Varek and gave a ferocious growl and barked. “So, there! I have done my duty and I am done for the day. Now I shall simply take my manipulative presence out of this conversation before I am accused of something else I supposedly share with the rest of my gender. Which is completely unfair, totally biased …” and so muttering to himself, Sergei melded into the crowd, ignoring the teasing smiles that were cast his way from some of the local beauties.
Tina giggled, and announced loudly, “I like him, Papa!”
Varek gazed speculatively after his old friend, and after exchanging a long, speaking glance with Christina, he returned with a grudging smile, “So do I, my pet.”
Tina looked at him and asked artfully, “But, why did he bark at you? Are you in trouble again, Papa?”
Varek cast Christina a smile that almost blinded her and murmured, as his heated gaze raked her from the toes of her boots to the tip of her bonnet, boldly lingering on certain points along the way, “As always, my pet.” Then his eyes met hers with a clash of audacious innuendo.
Christina narrowed her eyes and snapped, “You behave yourself or I will call Sergei back!”
Varek gave a shudder which set Tina to giggling, “Oh, heavens, who will protect me?”
“I will, Papa!” Tina shouted, still giggling.
“There you have it. I would set my imp against your watchdog any day!”
Then at the top of their lungs, father and daughter threw back their heads and shouted out together, “Huzzah!” which set most of the people around them into gales of laughter, Laure and Christina included
“Down, Papa,” Tina pushed restlessly against his chest, so Varek didn’t hesitate to do as ordered.
When Tina moved to her side, and slipped her gloved hand into her own, Christina knew she was defeated. Leaning over to adjust Tina’s rumpled skirts, she received a smacking kiss on her cheek, which she returned with unreserved affection.
“And how are you this morning?” she asked Tina, while trying to ignore her gorgeous father who was standing much too close. Without making it appear so, she edged away, which only invited him to step even closer.
“Cold.”
“But, of course. It is winter. It is wise to be cold in winter.”
Tina smiled, pleased that she was so wise for her years.
Looking sideways at Varek, Christina said with no little asperity, “Well, are you going to keep us standing here all morning?”
With a grin, he offered her his impeccably clad elbow with a gallant bow. “At your service, my lady.” Looking over his shoulder, he sent Laure an audacious wink as he swept his prize away.
Laughing, Laure waved them on their way before greeting her husband, who had come to her side. She leaned into the arm he wrapped around her waist.
Staring after the beautiful trio
, the prince commented dryly, “He just won’t give up, will he?”
Laure shook her head as she also watched them. Her heart contracted a bit when she saw Varek throw back his head with laughter, the boom of it heard clearly above the ever-increasing distance between them. Christina lightly punched him in the side, which made Tina join in her father’s hilarity. Seeing them together like this was so reminiscent of happier times that it brought tears to Laure’s eyes. “Lord, I hope not,” she whispered as she turned away and took her husband’s arm.
Knowing they were drawing too much attention to themselves, Christina hissed, “Varek, please! Must you be so loud?”
Still chuckling, he guided them through the milling crowd to his richly appointed sleigh. Carefully, he placed Tina among the pillows and furs before turning to Christina and deliberately encircling her waist with his hands. His fingers tightened about the well-remembered feel of her.
Gasping, Christina stared up in wide-eyed astonishment as he pulled her closer. All amusement gone from his impossibly blue eyes, he was now staring down at her with a hunger that had her breathless—and equally starved.
“Ashamed to be seen with me, lark?” he asked, his voice low and his breath a gentle mist that warmed her lips. Any thought of resistance had disappeared as soon as his hands had claimed her, and so all she was capable of was a weak shake of her head.
His lips, so near her own, turned up into a smile that made hers fall open with anticipation. “Good,” he growled as he leaned in that last inch to cover her mouth with his. Her body instantly went numb, and closing her eyes, she leaned against him. His tongue swept in for a lingering taste before he pulled away. She moaned as cold air seared her moist lips, and then she felt herself airborne as he lifted her with an ease that made many women watching the tender scene sigh with envy.
Finding herself standing in the sleigh, Christina blinked down into the possessive flame of his gaze, lost to everything else around her.
Suddenly, the sleigh jerked forward, and with a cry Christina instinctively grabbed hold of his shoulders.
With the lurch of the sleigh, Varek grabbed hold of her thighs, and the feel of those slender legs raised a hunger in him that had him sweating in the winter air. All he could think of were those long limbs locked in passion around his waist. He could barely breathe as he flexed his fingers, the fine wool of her skirts no barrier to his erotic thoughts. How in hell, am I going to survive this day, he wondered in a sudden dread?
Again, the sleigh lurched, and thrown off balance, Christina sat down with an awkward thump beside Tina, who was fussing with the furs as she tried to wiggle underneath them. Christina’s cheeks burned with embarrassment as she heard the muffled sniggers around her, and jabbing her bonnet back into place she glared at the footman holding the horse’s head.
A grinning Sergei tipped his hat at her, “Now that is an example of manipulation, which. as you know very well, I never indulge in.” Then looking at Varek he turned his lip up and gave a low, menacing snarl.
Varek couldn’t help it—hating Sergei, was simply impossible, even despite what Christina had asked of him. And so laughing, he strolled over to Sergei and with hands on hips, he shook his head at his old friend. “You still haven’t grown up, have you?”
Sergei’s grin faded a bit, as he returned Varek’s perusal. “Unfortunately, more than I ever wanted to.”
The two men stood staring at each for a strained minute before Varek finally sighed and looked away. “I do understand what you did, Sergei, but I am still having a hard time forgiving you. Give me time, will you?” Frowning, he looked back at Sergei.
Equally serious, Sergei merely nodded and stepped back, letting the footman return to his duty. With a slight bow, Sergei turned about and walked away. Varek watched him, knowing that one day they would be friends again. It was as inevitable as Christina being his again. It was just meant to be.
Shaking off the melancholy thoughts, Varek climbed nimbly aboard and sat on the other side of his daughter. He glanced briefly at Christina who was studying him with a concerned frown and giving her an absent smile, he set about settling his daughter into her nest of furs and pillows.
Wanting to distract him, Christina said the first thing that came into her mind, “You do realize your little plan has back-fired on you, do you not?”
Varek paused and looked at her with an eyebrow quirked in question.
Christina cast a teasing glance down at Tina.
Varek also looked down on his daughter, then he looked at the space his sprawling imp was taking up and then assessed the distance between him and his lady love.
With a smug tilt of her head, Christina settled into furs with a blissful sigh.
Raising his brows in challenge, Varek took hold of Tina and placed her on his lap. Grinning, Varek scooted over till Christina was shoved against the side with no place else to go. Even through the thick layers of their clothing she could feel every heated inch of him as he pressed up against her. Tina, happy with this situation, looked about her with a jaunty curiosity. It was Varek’s turn to look smug as he took up the reins and maneuvered them into the long caravan that was now wending itself slowly through streets of Vienna, where the populace was wildly cheering them on their way. In the distance a martial air rang out, barely heard over the cheering mass and all the sleighs’ jingling bells.
“I never knew you were so devious,’ Christina groused as she placed her cold feet on the warmth of flannel-covered hot bricks which lined the bottom of the sleigh.
“If I am becoming so, it is completely your fault.”
When she didn’t answer, he demanded of her in a low voice, “You want to tell me why you have been avoiding me? What have I done?” His gaze on her face was searching, solemn.
Looking away, she watched the crowds, cheering as the cavalcade proceeded. “Please Varek, no strife today, no questions. It’s such a beautiful day, can’t we just enjoy it?” She turned to look him in the eye. “Please?”
After a long, thoughtful moment, he flashed another of those heart-stopping grins. “But, of course.”
Giving him a grateful smile, she looked down on Tina who was bundled under the furs, and was watching the cheering crowd with wide-eyed interest. When a group of children began to run alongside the sleigh she sat up and waved back. “One thing that has been puzzling me—why is this little lady so prettily behaved this morning?”
Tina turned from waving at the adoring crowd to flash her a smile. “Papa said that if I behaved, I could give you my present.”
Christina’s brows rose is confusion, “A present?” She glanced at Varek. “A present for me? For this, she is behaving?”
Mysteriously, he informed her, “Oh, it’s not just any present; it’s very special, and she has been hounding me for days to give it to you.” Then his mouth tightened as he looked away, “But we haven’t seen you lately.”
Glancing into Tina’s excited eyes, she felt incredibly small. Here was this adorable child, starved for the love of a mother, who was accepting her wholeheartedly. It was so thoughtless of her to hurt Tina because of her own selfish pain. She peeked sideways at Varek again, but he was looking pointedly over the horses’ heads, his profile stern.
Wrapping an arm about Tina’s frail shoulders, she drew her close and kissed her forehead. Tina immediately snuggled against her. She should have been mine! She loved this child as if she was her own. For the briefest of moments, she compared their profiles, so startlingly similar. Tina suddenly climbed to her knees and, leaning over Varek’s lap, she pointed to something in another sleigh, catching her father’s attention. The two of them were grinning and Varek waved his whip in greeting. When Tina patted her father’s cheek and gave him a kiss, Christina bit her lip. The look of tenderness he turned upon his tiny daughter forced Christina to look away in a hurry. The world around her blurred for a moment.
She heard her name, and turning back she saw both of them staring at her with identical looks of
concern, their gazes a soft, shimmering blue.
“Are you alright, lark?” Varek asked quietly. Reaching out, he covered her gloved hands, which were clenched in her lap. Without thought, she turned hers over and clung to his fingers. She looked longingly into his eyes for much too long before wrenching her gaze away.
Biting her lips, she said almost desperately to Tina, “Have I told you of my son, Tina?”
Varek gave her hand a squeeze before letting her go. Tina had turned back to her with curious eyes and for the next hour, as the sleigh glided across the countryside, Varek and Tina listened raptly to her stories about Eddie. Once she started she just couldn’t stop, and she blessed them for the caring attention and interested questions they shared with her.
She didn’t want the day to ever end.
∞∞∞
The evening had been as beautiful as a dream, and as Christina looked out onto the quiet countryside, blanketed in moonlit crystals, she smiled as she relived every moment. The gentle, muffled hoofbeats of the carriage horses seemed to keep rhythm with the lyrical strains of the ballet they had seen that evening which kept circling in her mind. The crisp air had the redolent scent of the orange and myrtle trees that had adorned the Schönbrunn’s ballrooms. Everything had been so perfect. And when Varek had taken her into his arms and waltzed her under the stars, she was sure time had stood still.
Hearing a rustle, she looked across from her to see Tina stirring in her sleep, oblivious in her father’s arms. Varek, however, was staring at her, his eyes shimmering in the darkness.
“Did you enjoy yourself, lark?” his words whispered across the short distance, his voice a comforting rumble.
“Oh, yes,” she sighed, her own smile sleepy and content. “It was a heavenly day.” She gave a long yawn behind her hand before drowsily teasing, “I thought that dancer was going to secret herself in this carriage, she was so adamant to have you.”