****
I wake up. Warmth spreading through my body, the leftovers of a smile still on my face as I remember that day. The day I met Lukas is still the happiest day of my life. It was the day my life went from pointless to enjoyable. I remember Lukas trying to get me out of the facility the same way he had come in, only to be stopped by security clearance. It took almost a year to get that lifted for me, but eventually the outside world became less of a mystery and more a part of my life. I actually got to enjoy the few years that were left of my childhood.
My fifteenth birthday took place outside the facility, under the sun with Lukas and Dr. Mercier, whom I had grown fond of and now trusted as much as Lukas did. Moments like that filled me with happiness I had never known, but also resentment when I compared it to my life before.
Between the moments of mundane the truth still remained. I wasn’t really human. I wasn’t really free. The days I spent outside the facility and its ivory walls where far and few. Every day I had a schedule. Wake up. Breakfast. Two hours of studying. Two hours of training. Lunch. Another hour of studying, wrapped up with an hour of medical. Which was just a pretense really, for them to make me achieve what I was created to do.
Created for something I couldn’t do.
After years of silent observation it didn't take me much to realize that I had a purpose. Yet no one seemed inclined to tell me what it was. Or why I wasn't allowed to know it.
The man and woman that composed the medical staff rarely talked to me. They smiled, they were polite. But they came in with their pads and medicines and followed a routine I was bored of. “Did you feel anything?” they would ask after injecting me with something. I never felt anything.
A month after I turned fifteen I finally got some answers. Dr. Mercier stopped the medical staff after they left my room. It was far enough that they didn't expect to be overheard, but I could hear everything they said.
“Any improvement?” Dr. Mercier started the conversation.
The man glanced at his digital pad. “Every test we do has the same result. His biology is identical to NB1’s, but he’s not reacting to the doses. If the problem is not physical then it must be psychological or environmental.”
“No surprise there with the way that child was living. No wonder this project was full of failures. Raising children on fear and isolation then getting rid of them when the costs were too high?” Dr. Mercier rubbed the bridge of her nose with her fingers.
The man brought forward another slide on his pad. "At this rate we are not sure if we can make the deadline.”
“Just keep working. I’ll worry about the deadline.”
“With all due respect," the woman looked at Dr. Mercier. "Psychological problems can take years to resolve if at all. I have observed his progress at your request, given him time to adapt and improve, but I see little change from one year ago. Whatever psychological damage was done, it is likely permanent."
"Speak clearly, Dr. Zeyas." Dr. Mercier demanded, her tone harsher.
Dr. Zeyas didn't even bat an eye. "It would be my official recommendation to terminate G-27 and concentrate on new G.A.B’s now that we know the perfect genetic formula and environmental conditions necessary.”
I hid behind the wall of my room. The fear I hadn't felt in almost a year reignited like a wildfire. I was really still nothing but a thing in their eyes. Something made for a purpose. A failure. I wondered if this is what happened to Twenty-Six and Twenty-Eight. Had they been deemed useless and thus terminated? Twenty-Eight, who dared to smile and wave at me again even after we had been warned not to. How that night I was woken by a scream, and he was gone the next morning. Twenty-Six, who fought them until they killed him. How was I going to go?
Dr. Mercier didn't react to Dr. Zeyas’ words. Instead, she wordlessly reached for Dr. Zeyas’ digital pad and took it from her hands. "I appreciate your input Dr. Zeyas," she said calmly. "When you clock out today please return your security clearance to the guards. You are dismissed."
Dr. Zeyas seemed calm, but I could tell from her body language that she was angry. I thought for sure she was going to add a comment to her dismissal, but she just nodded at Dr. Mercier and walked away.
I sat crouched behind the wall, pulled my legs to my chest and held tight. I don't know how long I was there ignoring my studies, but soon I felt a familiar presence in my room. "I knew you were getting stronger," Dr. Mercier said. She stroked the top of my head with affection, just like I saw her do to Lukas on occasion. It was comforting. "Don't be afraid about what she said. You are not going anywhere."
"What about the deadline?" I asked, keeping my head hidden in my arms. She stalled. I tried not to pale. Dr. Mercier may be the boss of my surroundings, but I wasn't naive enough to believe she didn't have people to answer to. People that now I knew for sure wanted me to achieve something. My life had a deadline.
"Just tell me what I am supposed to be doing." My voice sounded alien, even to my own ears. "I admit I have been getting stronger. I can hear things clearer and from far away. I didn't mean to hide I could do it." Dr. Mercier didn't respond right away so I raised my face from my arms and spared her a glance. She was looking at me thoughtfully, almost kindly.
"We could risk showing you. But it will likely frighten you."
I took a deep breath. I saw my future as two choices. One, I wait to see what happened. Wait to see if I achieved what they wanted without knowing what it was, and risk disappearing into the night like I never existed. Or two, learn what I was meant to do and try to achieve it. It was an easy choice.
I shook off what was left of my fear and stood up. Dr. Mercier looked at me like she knew what I was going to say. I nodded. "Show me."
****
When Lukas arrived an hour later from his outdoor training, a team of medical staff was waiting for him. His smile and pleasantry from being outside the facility quickly faded when he saw them. "Today?" he scoffed and walked ahead of the medical staff to the main medical room where I was waiting.
Lukas stepped in and took off his sweaty clothes without hesitation and without looking at his surroundings. He grabbed the pair of shorts one of the staff handed to him and just when he was about to put them on, he turned and finally noticed me. His eyes went wide with surprise. "Gabriel," his voice stammered and he rushed to put on the shorts. "What are you-" He turned to one of staff, "What is he doing here?"
"Dr. Mercier ordered him to be here."
"No." Lukas shook his head. "That is not a good idea."
His refusal only made me more intent to discover this secret. "I want to be here." I raised my voice so it could reach over the discussion Lukas was having with the staff.
Lukas' blue eyes met mine and I tried to smile, reassuring him that I was fine. He shook his head, "Gabe." The shorten version of my name rarely left his lips, but it warmed me every time I heard it.
"I want to know what I am supposed to do." I closed the ten steps separating me from Lukas. The staff went to the other side to the room to prepare. "I will be ok."
"What if you aren't?" Concern infiltrated his voice. "It's not pretty, nor pleasant."
"I don't know what it even is."
Lukas seemed to think over his options. "I don't know if it is better to explain it to you or just show you," he whispered, wary of our audience.
I didn't know how to answer that, and I didn't have to because one of the staff took my arm and pulled me away to stand by a corner. The rest of the staff surrounded Lukas, attaching padded circles and wires to his skin. Dr. Mercier walked inside the room when they were almost finished and pressed the code that would lock the door.
Lukas turned to his mother and his mouth opened, but before he could protest she raised a finger to quiet him. Lukas kept silent and Dr. Mercier reached my side. "Let's begin," she ordered. The staff nodded. The two men went one each to Luka's sides. One of the women stayed by the devices ready to record whatever information came out of them, and the other grabbed a vile of red
liquid and handed it to Lukas.
"Male. Thirty seven years of age. Subject NB1. Test number 71."
Lukas grimaced slightly as he took the vial in his hand. Each of the men held his upper arms securely, and without hesitation, Lukas downed the liquid completely.
The woman grabbed the vial back from his hand and quickly walked back to her position next to the other female. I watched this entire process in silence, trying to decipher what each little thing meant. Why was it relevant? I couldn't think of anything.
Lukas kept his eyes shut tightly, his breath becoming heavier by the second. He shook suddenly, his body seemed to convulse, and the men held him tighter.
"Lukas!" The cry left my throat unbidden. Dr. Mercier was next to me in a heartbeat and held me back by my shoulders.
"This is normal," she said reassuringly. I wanted to believe her – more than I ever remember wanting anything - but Lukas's face twisted in such pain that it took every inch of me not to run to him. I stared wide eyed and in shock as Luka's face, his shoulders, almost every inch of him rippled unnaturally as he held back the urge to scream. I thought this horror show was never going to stop, but it eventually did. What was most shocking of it all was that at the end, Lukas was no longer there. In his place stood a man that looked older, with broader shoulders and finer hair. Dark rimmed eyes looked at me and I didn't see Lukas in them - just a stranger.
"How would you rate the pain?" One of the women asked Lukas, her digital pad at the ready to write down what was said.
Lukas swiped a towel across his alien forehead. "About a six," he said in a voice too deep to be his own. "Not as bad as before, but still strong."
The men released Lukas and gave him some space. They proceeded with more tests that I had no understanding of. Lukas placed his hand on a pad, something registered, his eyes were checked, and his vitals reported. I stayed silent and unmoving in my corner through all of it - lost to what I was supposed to think. It felt like an eternity, but it only lasted a few minutes. Dr. Mercier was with the medical staff taking a closer look at the data. With their attention elsewhere, Lukas made his way over to stand next to me. I tried to look at him, but averted my eyes almost instantly.
It was hard separating the fact that I knew Lukas was standing next to me, versus the fact that I didn’t see my friend in those eyes. I wanted to say something to break the uncomfortable silence, but my mind was utterly blank.
"This is what we are." Lukas finally broke the silence. His hand reached for me and I flinched. "We change, we become others."
I shook my head and one fearful thought crossed my mind - I cannot see myself ever doing what Lukas just did, and if I can't do what he does, the only fate that awaits me is certain death.
****
It started with Lukas giving me 'shifting' lessons; telling me what I am suppose to feel, and how I'm suppose to react. He tried to tone down how painful the experience was, but I knew he was just trying not to scare me. Too late for that.
I started joining him on his shifting tests, and while not less pleasant than that first experience, I did get used to the process and what to expect. I started noticing things here and there. Like the fact that all the people Lukas shifted to were male, and the fact that while body types tended to change, Lukas’ height always remained the same. I also noticed that the pain decreased with each shift.
They started testing me more forcibly as well, now that I knew the true nature of my existence. Before they would just give me liquids and ask me what I felt afterwards. Now they directed me into trying to force a shift. It didn't help when they revealed that each vial they forced me to drink contained genetic material.
I wasn't happy anymore.
The lessons. The tests. All of it added to my regular training routine took a toll on me. Weeks passed and nothing worked. I was useless as a shifter. I knew that. They knew that. But no one was willing to say it out loud.
Uneasiness filled my days and I started to view my routine, and my failures, as a clock counting down to the end of my life. Lukas and Dr. Mercier were the first to notice the change in my demeanor and the first to try and ease my restlessness. But even with their attentions I sank deeper into dark thoughts and hopelessness.
Change was in the air, and it took form in the shape of a man that came into our ivory world without announcement. He was an older man, grey had completely taken over his hair, and his manner and pose spoke of a man that had not spent his life in the ways of science, but in the ways of war. Dr. Mercier went out of her way to accommodate him. She tried to show him the facility, but the man only had one interest - Lukas and I.
“Which one is this?” The man asked, looking over Lukas. We stood together side by side as the man paced around us. I had been under observation my entire life, scrutiny rarely made me uneasy, but this man made me feel like I wasn't even a living thing.
“NB1.” One of the men from the medical staff answered.
“Lukas,” Dr. Mercier corrected. “Next to him is Gabriel.”
“ID Number?”
“GAB-27”
The man frowned. “I thought the GAB line had been terminated almost a year ago.”
“He’s the last one.” Dr. Mercier was visibly unpleased with the conversation, but she hid it well, keeping her professional composure intact.
“Can he shift?”
“Not yet. We have been testing extensively and-“
“Why is he still active if he can’t shift?”
Dr. Mercier demanded one of the digital pads from the staff and brought forth some records. “His medical tests show he has an 87% probability of successfully shifting.”
“Today. Can he shift today? Has he ever shifted at all?”
Dr. Mercier pulled the digital pad close to her chest. “No.”
The man spared a glance towards where Lukas and I stood obediently. It had been the first time since the conversation started that he looked at us with something worse than objectivity. Like I was a bug to be crushed.
I kept my body as still as I could while he passed his sentence. “He can’t shift. Follow the orders that were given a year ago. Terminate him. Tonight.”
****
I hid in the bowels of the washing room, behind the glass of one of the showers, curling myself into a ball of flesh trapped in a corner. I don’t remember exactly how I got there or much of what happened after the man I now knew was a General called Tarques ordered my death like it was nothing. The countdown had ended.
Lukas found me there. He kneeled next to me without saying a word and his fingers tried to ease my sorrow, pressing gentle caresses against my cheeks. “You are going to be late for your test,” he reminded me, trying to pull me into compliance.
I shook my head. “There’s no point. I can’t do it. I won’t be able to do it. They will just drag me away and I’ll never come back.”
Lukas’s touch stopped being gentle, his fingers firm and sure against my skin. “You have to stop saying you can’t do it. You’ve seen the data. There is very little difference between what makes me me and what makes you you. You can do this.” He rested his forehead against my own, his knuckles brushing my cheek.
My eyes opened in wonder. All this time I had thought it was me that needed to see Lukas every day to have something to look forward to. He was the only person to make this ivory prison I existed in - home. But with the feel of his forehead on mine, his breath gentle against my face, I realized that he may need me just as much I needed him. After all, it was just the two of us that stood apart from everyone else. The only ones who understood each other in ways that human’s never would.
“Please try, Gabe. Don’t leave me alone with them,” Lukas whispered and the words shook me to the core. I couldn’t give up. Not before I had tried until the very end. If I didn’t succeed in shifting in the next hour I would be taken out to be erased. But if I shifted - if I succeeded - I could stay with Lukas. How could I not try?
****
Dr. Mercier w
as very gentle as she pasted the sticky sensor pads over my body. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears and I tried to smile for her sake. Unlike the other times, Lukas was not allowed to be present. Instead of letting that fact cripple me, I used it to my advantage, telling myself that if I shifted I could see Lukas again.
Dr. Mercier nodded that everything was ready. I held the vial in my hands and downed the liquid in one gulp. Opening my body and my senses just like Lukas had taught me, I searched for that hint of fire I could grab onto and exploit. I took deep, even breaths; my eyes closed tight. Searching for it. Waiting for it. But – nothing. I didn’t feel a thing. Just like all the other times. I had failed.
Sorrow quickly replaced my determination. My soul cried with the knowledge that not only was I going to die very soon, but that it was very likely that Lukas’s fingers against my cheeks less than an hour ago – that lingering memory still warming me - were the last touches I would ever receive from him.
“A failure.”
I snapped my head up to see General Tarques inside the room.
Dr. Mercier seemed startled. “One more week. I guarantee you he will shift.”
“You’ve been given too many of those already. You allowed yourself to get emotionally attached. That is the only reason he has not been terminated.”
“He is a boy. Not a thing." Dr. Mercier lost her composure then, knowing her words were a grave misstep in the presence of this man.
Without preamble General Tarques made his way next to me, grabbed my arm and pulled me off the medical table, snapping the sensors away from my body.
“General Tarques!" Dr. Mercier raised her voice, following us with hasty steps. "At least let Lukas say goodbye to him. They are good friends.”
The Ivory Prison (Genetic Shifters) Page 2