I basked in the warm sun and enjoyed great food. Her family was very friendly and accommodating. Some of her cousins even tried to teach me a few sentences in Spanish.
We stayed there for a month then headed back to Houston. My family and friends were concerned about me, but they honored my one request that we would not speak of Jordan.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The fall semester of my junior year in college, Veronica told me that Jordan moved his headquarters to Europe and would not be in Austin very often.
As the months and years went on, I built a wall around my heart about Jordan. I avoided reading sections of the newspapers he would be in and avoided listening to gossip about his latest love conquest. It was not easy to forget him. As a matter of fact, he made it impossible for me to do so.
Despite not wanting to see or hear from him, Jordan continued to send me flowers and gifts. He never missed an occasion in my life, and much to my chagrin, most of the gifts were expensive. It felt too wasteful throwing them away, so I kept them hidden, most of them unopened, in a box. Gifts were sent for my graduation from college and when I started the nursing agency, along with birthdays. Every Christmas was yet another reminder of Jordan.
Try as I might, I could not get away from him. He always knew where to find me and have his gifts delivered. There was never a return address and most of the gifts were left in my living room or in my office.
I could have made a huge fuss about his invasion of my privacy, but that would lead to me contacting him, so I accepted that he was going to forever feel guilty, and his unopened gifts were to ease his conscience.
Chapter 13
Present Day
Now that I’d relived the memories between Jordan and me, I realized that there is a chance, a possibility, that I may still have feelings for him. That thought scared the hell out of me. Ten years was a long time and I’ve changed. I was no longer the 20-year-old naive girl, but an accomplished business woman.
I’d kept the opposite sex far and away from my body and my heart. Although I have several male friends, they were just that, friends. I did try dating a few times during the past 10 years, but they soon lost interest due to my reluctance to engage in sexual intimacy with them and they moved on. Except for Robert, who was not crossing the line of intimacy any time soon with me, which is why I was in such a comfortable relationship with him.
With that thought, I got up and walked around my home, but avoided the room where the box of gifts from Jordan sat. I didn’t want to see what else was in the box. Not now. I felt vulnerable at the moment and if I looked at more of his gifts I may break down and call him. So I turned in to bed for the night and dreamt of Jordan.
Tuesday morning I was inundated with work related issues including my accountant with whom I was wrapping up my monthly financial report.
“So, Miss Caine, your head is just above water for this quarter, but don’t make any sudden moves or changes without consulting me first or you will be heading back to the bank for another loan.” Larry Walsh adjusted his wire-rimmed glasses and placed his computer and files in his briefcase.
“I can always count on you to keep it real with my finances, Mr. Walsh,” I responded.
“I imagine you don’t want me to bullshit your time away, Miss Caine.” Not one for small talk, we shook hands and he took his leave.
I slumped back in my chair and blew out a slow breath. It was not easy being a business owner but it was a great feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment for me. I skimmed over the financial spreadsheet on my computer from Larry.
I was always keeping just one small step ahead of the taxes paid to the IRS. Malpractice insurance for my business and employees, along with benefits for the full-time employees and loan repayment were just a few of the financial obligations that sometimes kept me up at night.
I did not consult Larry about expanding the agency in San Francisco. He was not happy with the decision to expand the agency at this time since I was taking a financial hit from all the changes going on in the larger hospitals, but it was too late to back out of the meetings in San Francisco. It was his job to keep me from going bankrupt, but it was my decision to keep the business viable and my obligation to my employees to make sure their checks cleared the bank.
With no warning the door to my office swung open. I rolled my eyes as Mia came in followed closely by Veronica.
“What? It is lunch time and you can thank me for bringing it to your office.” Mia had a picnic basket in her hand that she put on the small table in front of the sofa in the corner.
“Thank you, friend.” I walked around the desk and embraced her in a hug.
“Yeah, well this lunch isn’t free. I heard Jordan was here yesterday and I want all the gory details.”
I narrowed my eyes on Veronica who looked innocently at me with her huge caramel colored eyes.
“It wasn’t Veronica. I do have other sources, you know, but I should not have to hear shit like this through the grapevine.” Mia made fast work disassembling the basket of chef salads, crusty French bread and bottled waters.
“I was going to call and ask you out for dinner tonight, but since you’re here…” I claimed one of the salads and dug in.
“Sure you were. So, I have some news about Jordan,” said Mia as she picked invisible lint from her wrap dress that hugged her petite figure like a glove. I pretended indifference although my heartbeat sped up.
“For Christ’s sake, stop the suspense already. Do tell.” Veronica playfully kicked at Mia’s ankle. She was always ready for juicy gossip.
I squinted my eyes at Mia but she ignored me and dug into her lunch.
“You are a bitch. You do know that, right? Fine. So let’s say I am somewhat interested in your news.” She had the audacity to giggle. Swear to god, I could simply choke her neck for making me ask for news about Jordan.
“Well, daddy said he had a meeting with Jordan a few months ago in Brussels. You see, daddy is on the board of directors for a European company and so is Jordan. Anyway, he said Jordan told him then that he was moving back to Houston to reclaim what was his. Daddy said he thought Jordan was speaking of business, but Jordan made it clear that he left some personal business unattended for far too long and he was moving to Houston to close the deal.” Mia dabbed delicately at her mouth took another sip of her water as I stared at her, my mouth agape.
“What the hell, Mia! How is that of any interest to me?” I asked, but I knew this was leading back to me.
“First of all, the only personal business left unattended here for Jordan is you. Next, we need to confront him about that morning you caught him with Celia, who by the way, is divorced and living in Austin again,” Mia said. She crossed her arms and tapped a staccato on the hardwood floor with her Valentino couture platform pumps.
“We don’t need to confront him,” Veronica piped in. “Zoe needs to do that, and the sooner the better for her.”
And here I was thinking that Veronica was the one to come up with some sensible solution.
“Not like she is not able to defend herself,” Veronica continued. “But he is Jordan Dawson. I mean, he can make any girl drop her panties, so he’s likely to sweet talk his way right back…”
“What the fuck! Hello, I am still right here, not invisible.” I packed up my lunch containers and got up, pacing around the office as I defended myself. “I am fully capable of making my own decisions and believe it or not, I am able to contain myself and retain my panties where Jordan is concern.”
Lies, lies and more lies. My subconscious is forever holding my feet to the fire but I defiantly held my head high and faced my friends. “Yes, Jordan came to see me yesterday morning. I am not sure we resolved anything. He had a lot to say and asked me to hear him out about what happened between him and Celia.” I confided in my friends since talking about the situation somehow helped to sort out this mess.
“I must admit, I felt sorry for the guy for the f
irst few months after the breakup, but he was a jerk for playing you all along,” Veronica said.
“Well, he did go to great lengths to speak to you about it, Zoe. Many attempts were made on his part to try and explain about a huge misunderstanding and things not being like they seemed. I just can’t help but think that maybe you should listen to what he has to say.” Mia was not backing down nor shutting up until I listened to Jordan and put it behind me.
I chewed on my bottom lip, deep in thought. Was I wrong about what I saw? Just too stubborn and hurt to listen to his explanation or excuse about Celia? Could it be something other than what it seemed? For months, he’d pleaded with my family and friends to give him a change to explain, but I refused to listen to anyone. So many questions and no possible right answers.
“I’m breaking up with Robert tonight.” Now who would have thought my breaking up with Robert would cause such a reaction from my friends. They both high-fived one another and got up to do a quick happy dance.
“Told you. I knew it all along,” Mia said to Veronica.
Obviously, I was not privy to what she knew about me. I raised my eyebrows in her direction.
“Mia always said you were not in love with Robert. I only recently agreed with her only because I could see that over the past couple months your heart was not in the relationship.” Veronica gave Mia a hug and air kisses. “On that note, I must return to my office.” She blew me a kiss and exited the room.
“Clearly as your friends, we are supportive of any decision you make in your personal life. Although we may not totally agree on everything, know that a phone call is all that separates us.” Wow, flighty Mia as the voice of reason and understanding.
“Are you happy now? You’re making me cry.” I sniffled as my eyes blurred with tears.
Mia left my office and in true Mia fashion, leaving her discarded lunch for someone else to clean up. Shaking my head, I did just that then tackled the afternoon meetings starting with Andre.
“So far, we are set to depart Houston Wednesday morning at 7 a.m. Our first meeting is with San Fran General Hospital, then with St. Francis Memorial. Afterward, we’ll head back to the new office to meet with some of the nurses that are new temp hires and the new office staff.” Andre consulted his laptop while throwing out information about our upcoming trip. He had everything crammed in two days with more hospital meetings and setting up training modules and hands-on competency with medical exams, making sure our nurses were prepared to work under any situation and able to chart on various different types of electronic medical records.
“Thursday is much of the same, but with several interviews for the new Director of Nursing position.” He consulted his records one last time. “Well, that just about covers every minute of your two days in gorgeous San Francisco. You will head back solo on Friday and I will spend a fab weekend with Ben. I am totally psyched to take him on a tour of Napa.” He grinned like a Cheshire cat that just lapped up sweet cream. Andre, and equally handsome partner Ben, have been together for several years now.
“Sounds like fun, Andre. Stop by Domaine Chandon and have a glass of bubbly for me.”
I was nervous about my dinner with Robert. I did not want to think about Jordan today. My mind was set on Robert and not wanting to hurt him. For the hundredth time I reminded myself that he will be better off with someone that loves him.
In true Jordan fashion, I got a hand written note on his personal letterhead that was delivered by courier at 4 p.m. that read: Thinking of you. Yours, Jordy.
I am not sure if he expected a response, but if so, he was so going to be disappointed. I slid the note in one of of my desk drawers, but not before reading over it several time. My pulse was doing that funny thing it usually does when I thought about Jordan.
By 6:55 that night my nerves were frazzled. Thankfully, I arrived a few minutes before Robert, so I decided to have a glass of wine.
“Hello, Zoe. Am I late or are you early?” Robert asked as he greeted me with a kiss on my cheek.
“I was a little early so I had a glass of wine.” I wanted to add that it was much needed, but my stomach was twisted in knots and I was short on words. Grateful to be seated at a quiet booth, I gulped down the rest of my wine promising to do justice to the next glass of William Hill chardonnay I was sure to have tonight.
“Well, we seem to have a lot to talk about tonight, Zoe.” My eyes glanced up to Robert but he was looking over the menu. I was guilty as sin and wondered if someone saw Jordan and me together on Saturday night and passed on that tidbit of information to Robert. Either that or he was going to propose to me.
“Sure, Robert, but before we go on…”
“Why don’t we enjoy supper first, Zoe, then talk about our relationship,” he suggested.
WTF? I guess I assumed that I was the only one with issues about our relationship but it appeared otherwise. Taking a closer look at Robert, I saw that he was as nervous as I was but trying to keep calm. Not one to drink, he shocked me by ordering whiskey on the rocks for himself and another glass of wine for me.
“I don’t think I can enjoy supper when we need to talk about things affecting our relationship, Robert.” I decided to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, and just delve into the issue of moving on with our lives, separately.
The waiter delivered our drinks and we both took a sip, eyeing each other over the rim of our glasses.
“OK, Zoe, if you insist. You see…well, I am just not the right person for you. I tried to make it work, but mother just has the most awful feeling about you and I trust her to have my best interest at heart,” Robert said as he gulped down the rest of his drink and wiped his forehead with his napkin.
“Excuse me? What the hell, Robert! You are leaving your life and a woman you love up to your mother? You are 40 years old and should be able to make your own decisions. When will you stand up for yourself and take control of your life?” I fumed that Robert was letting his mother manipulate him.
Suddenly it occurred to me that Robert was breaking up with me and sparing me from hurting his feelings, although he didn’t know that I’d planned to break up with him tonight, too. Internally, I laughed at the absurdity of the situation, although I was still pissed at his mother for controlling his life.
“Now, I know you are upset, Zoe. Mother said you are a strong willed woman and that you would not take this news easily. She was right and I am so sorry for breaking your heart.” He gallantly clasped my hands on the table.
“For fucks sake, Robert, I know you love your mother and all, but when you find the woman that you truly love, make sure and stand up to your mom about your feelings. It’s the right thing to do for you, and…well, it’s just the right thing to do.” I figured that I’d better shut up while Robert was still hell-bent on the break-up, but I still felt guilty as hell.
“True, so true. I will have another drink then and…”
“No, Robert. You usually don’t finish one drink and you’re driving. Better go home and tell your mom the good news.”
Robert readily agreed. I told him I would pick up the check for our drinks and he all but ran from the restaurant.
“Thank fuck. I thought he was going to drag out the mommy shit all night,” Jordan said as he easily slid into the seat Robert just vacated.
“What the hell, Jordan? What are you doing here? Did you follow me, and how did you know where…”
“To be fair, I will need another drink if I am to answer all those questions, babe,” Jordan said with an amused smile on his face.
He was gorgeous as usual in faded jeans, T-shirt and a lightweight jacket. Christ, is there anything this man wears that does not scream sexy as hell? His blue eyes were brilliant even in the dim light. Not wanting to encourage his stalking tendencies, I threw some money on the table and got up to leave.
“You should never drink on an empty stomach,” he said as he held onto my hand.
“You should never f
ollow people around and stalk them,” I replied.
“I don’t make a habit of following people around, only you. Only for the past 10 years.” Jordan got up as he laid that bombshell on me.
My eyes must have been the size of saucers with affirmation of the fact that he had been following me, or I assume had me followed, over the years, since he’s mostly been overseas building his financial empire. He quickly propelled me down the hall and out of the restaurant.
“Why, Jordan? You know I don’t want anything to do with you. I don’t want to see you. I just broke up with my boyfriend.” I walked toward my car when a limo pulled up beside us. Jordan opens the door and ushered me to get in.
“No. I have my car here and I will not be getting into a vehicle with you…” Before I could finish my train of thought, Jordan took the keys out of my hand and gave it to another guy that exited the front seat of the limo.
“I swear to God, I will kick you in the shin if you don’t get out of my way. I mean it, Jordan.” My heart was racing, as I could only imagine what being in a limo with Jordan would lead to.
“If that will make you feel better, then give it your best shot, but we will be talking tonight. Now, we can discuss us here, or you can go with me. As you can see, we have quite an audience.” Not that Jordan was worried about the audience. He seemed to be enjoying the tiff as much as those observing it. I got into the vehicle and slid all the way to the other side. Jordan got in and stretched his long legs out as the limo pulled away.
“So, Robert gave you the easy way out and now you’re mad at me,” said Jordan.
“I am mad at you for totally different reasons, as you are so well aware,” I huffed in my corner of the limo.
“It’s time that we cleared the air and talk about us. I’ve waited 10 years. Ten years for you to come to the conclusion that I did nothing with Celia. Ten fucking years for you to listen to the truth from me,” he said.
Forever Rain (Rain Will Fall Trilogy #1) Page 11