by Vanessa Fox
"No, I can't," I reply. She has no idea just how true that is.
"Hey, when I called him out you were standing right next to him! You must have spotted him and zeroed in on him like a homing missile!"
I laugh. "Um, I guess so, yeah."
She leans in close and whispers into my ear. "You should try to hook up with him."
"Mrs. Cooper!" I exclaim.
"What?! I hear he's single. That tramp cheated on him. That's what I read on TMZ, anyway."
"Yeah, she did. But I'm— I'm not—"
"Oh come on, you're gorgeous and smart and wonderful," she gushes. "You need to tap that. Right away. And then text me the details afterwards."
"Ah, you just want to live vicariously through me, don't you?" I laugh.
"Well duh, of course!"
I take a deep breath. "Well, Mrs. Cooper, can I tell you a secret?"
She raises an eyebrow. "Yes...?"
"Kade and I already know each other," I say quietly.
"WHAT?!" she screeches.
"Keep your voice down!" I hush.
"How do you know each other?"
"We dated in high school."
Her jaw drops. I get the feeling she wants to squeal and scream and jump up and down like an excited school girl. But I'm relieved when she doesn't. Instead, she almost looks hurt. "I can't believe you didn't tell me!"
She slaps my shoulder semi-playfully. "All those conversations about the Alphas and about Kade and you never told me you dated him?! How could you?!"
I laugh reflexively, but I do feel a little guilty. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to seem like I was bragging or anything. Besides, it ended kind of badly. I mostly just want to put him out of my mind."
"Put him out of your mind?! Then why do I see you gawking at his photos and watching his videos on repeat every time you get a free moment?"
I gulp. Maybe I haven't done such a great job at keeping my illicit internet browsing a secret. "Well, he's— he's all over the news! I can't avoid him!"
Mrs. Cooper rolls her eyes. "You are unbelievable. The worst liar ever."
She crosses her arms and taps her foot. "You know, I'd almost be mad at you, but I can't, since you're the one responsible for snagging the largest donation this Foundation has seen yet."
"Me? Oh no, I can't take credit for that."
"You didn't invite him here?"
"No, he just... showed up."
Mrs. Cooper stares at him curiously. "Well, that's a strange coincidence, don't you think? He must've come to see you."
I laugh. "No, no, I doubt it. He's—"
She wags a finger in my face. "If you don't go over there and take advantage of this situation, I'll... I'll... I don't know. I just might fire you out of frustration!"
I know she's joking, but she looks serious. I glance over at Kade and my heart skips a beat. This is all happening so fast. It's overwhelming.
"Mrs. Cooper," I try to explain. "I really have no interest in pursuing a relationship with—"
"Oh no? You just want to gaze wistfully at his photos all day instead?"
I close my mouth. Damn, my boss just put me in my place.
She puts her hand on my back and nudges me forward gently but sternly, and gives me an almost motherly look of disapproval.
"All right, all right, I'll talk to him," I grumble.
He's still surrounded by people. I don't want to linger around him like an eager puppy dog awaiting her turn, so I shuffle away to a table. I pick up a glass of champagne and start small talking with a few guests. I'm close enough for him to know I'm here, but not too close for it to seem on purpose.
I don't want him to think I'm interested. Because I'm not. But I know he'll seek me out as soon as he gets a free moment.
I'm just doing this so I don't get fired.
Chapter 11
Kade
The evening is coming to a close and the guests are starting to shuffle out onto the streets and into their taxis and limos. I've kept a watchful eye on Willow throughout the night, making sure she doesn't quietly slip out an exit while I'm stuck in conversation with hoards of guests and fans.
But now the pressure on me has eased, and I see Willow standing close to the door wearing a jacket over her evening gown. She looks nervous, anticipating— like she's waiting on something, or someone.
As I approach, I realize it's me.
She glances up and smiles.
"You waiting on your boyfriend?"
She scoffs and rolls her eyes.
"No boyfriend? You've chosen to embrace the crazy cat lady life?"
She smacks my arm playfully. "Shut up, Kade."
"Walk with me," I say, cocking my head out the door.
"Walk where?"
I shrug. "I dunno. Wherever the night takes us."
She takes a deep breath and ponders. "Well, okay. Just for a few minutes."
I crook my arm into hers and she looks shocked at the sudden contact. We walk outside into the cool humid air, descend the marble steps to the street and talk a left down the sidewalk. I'm relieved there's no paparazzi. I don't think Willow would be cool with flashing cameras in her face.
The night is cool, slightly humid, and the pavement glistens with a wet sheen from an earlier rain. The lights from the traffic and surrounding buildings reflect off of it. Despite the noise and the busy rush of downtown, everything feels peaceful. It reminds me of our walks together in the neighborhood when we dated in high school.
Despite the years and the drastic change of circumstances, the vibe between us feels more or less the same as it ever was.
I'm the same Kade, only bigger, more athletic, much wealthier, and famous now, to boot. Willow is the same girl I knew, only with five years of experience, maturity, and knowledge gained, plus the curves and grace of a woman.
"So despite all the fame and riches, all you have to offer me is a walk?" Willow asks in a snarky tone of voice.
I grin. "What do you expect? I'm a simple country boy."
"Oh, I don't know. I figured you'd take me for a ride on your motorcycle, or maybe in your Ferrari."
I give her a pointed look. "You know what vehicles I drive?"
She shrugs and shakes her head like it's no big deal. "Well, you're all over the news and tabloids. I've picked up on a few details."
I laugh. "Casually, right? Not like you're combing through dozens of articles and videos about me on a daily basis."
She looks straight ahead, wearing a knowing smile on her face. "Of course not. I have better things to do with my time."
"Well, sorry to disappoint you," I say. "I took a taxi here."
"Aw, what a rip off. Here I thought you'd pick me up in your Ferrari, take me to a club and introduce me to all your celebrity friends."
"Is that what you want?" I ask honestly, uncertain whether she's joking or not.
She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, that's what I want. You know me, I love partying and getting wasted and having loud music blaring in my ears."
"Hey, don't knock it. It's a fun time. Maybe that's what you need. Let your hair down, let loose a little bit."
"I already know how to let loose."
I shrug. "Well, judging by all that champagne I saw you swigging, I think you might."
Her cheeks turn red. "What else was I supposed to do? First I had to make that terrifying speech, and then I realized you of all people was present in the audience."
"Is that why you screwed it up? Your speech?"
She bites her bottom lip in a way that gets my engine revving. "Oh God, was it really obvious?"
"Kinda, yeah," I say. "You were off to a great start. I had tingles running down my spine. I was expecting something truly epic. But then we made eye contact and you just kinda trailed off and left the stage all flustered."
She sighs. "Shit. I had so much more to say, too. But my mind blanked. I couldn't think of a single word."
"Sorry about that," I smirk, but I do feel bad.
"It's all your fault!" She smacks my arm
playfully. "Damn you, Kade Hughes."
"That's how you know I'm back in your life," I chuckle. "I somehow manage to screw everything up even before I've said a single word to you."
"Exactly," she says with a huff. "It's incredibly obnoxious."
"But you love it." I wrap my arm around her shoulders and lean in, inhaling a waft of sweet-smelling fruity shampoo combined with the sharper scent of hairspray.
She glances around nervously and shrugs her way out of my embrace. "Don't do that. People might see us and take photos. I don't want to end up on the front page of TMZ tomorrow."
"Aw, what, you don't want to become a regular fixture in the tabloids?" I tease.
"No, and I especially don't want to be known as Kade's flavor of the week #67."
"Flavor of the week?" I gasp in an exaggerated way. "You do realize I was with the same girl for over seven months?"
"Wow, what an accomplishment."
"Isn't that proof enough that I've changed my ways?" I ask. "I'm not a player anymore. I'm looking to settle down."
She raises an eyebrow. "Settle down? You're only 23. It's not like there's any rush."
I shrug. "I know. I won't force it. But if the right person comes along... I'm game."
"Uh huh."
"I'm serious!"
"And that doesn't have anything to do with fixing your image? Becoming America's sweetheart?"
"Of course not. But— it's a bonus."
"Let me guess— your agent told you you need to behave. You've already gained America's sympathy after being cheated on. Now what better way to continue your 'good boy' image than by reuniting with your high school sweetheart, a humble, meek Harvard graduate who works in philanthropy?"
I stop and cock my head. Willow continues a few steps until she realizes I'm not next to her, and turns around. "What?"
"When did you become so cynical?"
"Cynical? That's not cynical. What I said makes perfect sense to me. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably think it was a good idea, too."
"You think that's why I'm here? Just to use you?"
"Well, n-no, that's not what I meant."
I roll my eyes and continue walking with a scoff. "Well, think whatever you want. I'm just here because I'm curious. I wanted to catch up and see how you're doing."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse you of anything," she says. "I guess I'm just looking for an explanation that makes sense. It's hard for me to grasp why you'd go to all this trouble just for me. I mean, you're famous now, you're rich, and I'm sure you have a very busy schedule. Why you'd choose to spend your free time checking in on an old ex from high school is beyond me."
I shake my head. "You've always assumed the worst about me, haven't you?"
She gives me a knowing side glance. It's a look that contains so much weight, but I can't parse it.
"What?" I ask.
"My worst assumptions already came true," she says quietly.
"Oh, seriously? All these years later and you're still bent out of shape about what happened between us? We were in high school, for Christ's sake."
She looks straight ahead, wearing a poker face. She doesn't want to get into this.
I don't care, though. "You never did let me explain and defend myself. I tried, but you wouldn't listen."
"There was no explanation needed. I saw it all with my own eyes."
"No, you didn't see it all. You didn't see—"
She stops and turns to me. "Look, Kade, I don't want to start an argument about this. It was a long time ago. And I'm over it. Really. It's not a big deal to me."
"Well, you did bring it up."
"I apologize." She looks down at the ground and bites her lip. She seems to ponder for a long time before finally looking back up at me. "Thank you for coming out to see me tonight. Thank you for the donation, especially. I'm very happy with my life, and I can see that you're happy too. I'm glad."
"What, are you dumping me already?" I joke, even though it doesn't feel very funny.
She smiles sadly. "I just want to look forward. Not backwards. I don't want to— think about things that happened in the past. I just want to live my life."
"Without me in it, you mean."
She shrugs. "I don't know."
"You know, I'm not asking for your hand in marriage. I just wanted to take a walk."
"And it's been nice," she says.
She steps towards the curve and raises her arm, flagging down a taxi. "Good luck on your game Thursday," she says before climbing into the backseat and shutting the door behind her.
High school Kade would've opened the door and shoved his ass in and jammed his tongue down her throat until she forgot all of her bullshit rationalizations.
But I guess I don't have that reckless fire within me anymore. Instead I just stand on the curb, feeling defeated. Feeling like a chump.
I suddenly realize this whole thing was a stupid fucking idea. I don't know what I was expecting.
I guess I thought I could waltz right back into her life and she'd immediately fall into my embrace and we'd run off into the sunset together. With my looks, my charisma, my success and wealth, plus our shared history... how could she say no?
But I must have forgotten who Willow is. It doesn't matter that I'm rich and famous, hotter and more successful than 99% of the male population. That shit has no effect on her. If anything, those are downsides in her eyes.
Regardless of my accomplishments in life, she will always see me as the high school douchebag who used her and cheated on her. The dumb jock who could never meet her snobby Harvard standards.
I know in my heart that I'm a fucking champion. All of America is rooting for me, not only my performance on the team, but also personally. If she can't see that, well, fuck her.
My phone buzzes and I pick it up. My buddy Jerome is at the club, urging me to meet up with him.
I might as well.
Fuck the 'good boy' image for one night. I need a drink.
Willow
My heart pounds relentlessly as I sit in the backseat of the cab, waiting to get home. I feel dizzy and I'm in a total state of disbelief. I don't know how my conversation with Kade went off the rails so quickly. I didn't mean for it to turn sour.
But at some point during our walk, all the memories came rushing back to me. I could feel all of those emotions from the past bubbling back to the surface. And not just the good ones.
I remembered the sense of betrayal. The deep, piercing pain that left me doubled over crying in bed for days. The way I felt numb, as if all my senses were dulled, in the following weeks and months. I remembered how my arrival at Harvard, what should've been an exciting, happy experience, was marred by the lingering pain that I harbored.
I thought I would never get over it.
Still, sometimes, to this day, I feel I'm still not over it.
My relationship with Kade was so good in so many ways, but there was always that doubt. That worry. I knew behind his cocky attitude, his reckless behavior, his popularity and the whole jock persona, there was a real guy in there, a sweet, loving guy with a sharp wit, surprising intelligence, and a good heart.
But his lifestyle brought out the worst in him. And if that could happen in high school, when his biggest claim to fame was a couple championships... then what would he be like now?
The fame, the wealth, the tabloids, the women.
Did the Kade I knew even still exist?
I realized as I walked with him that he thought he could have me. He could just appear out of the shadows and become a fixture in my life again, as if nothing had happened. I would just take him back, gratefully, and give him whatever he wanted just because he wanted it.
Well, I resent that notion.
As much as his face and body stir me up and make me weak in the knees, as much as I love the sound of his voice and the way my heart skips a beat whenever he looks at me with those dazzling green eyes... my sense of preservation is winning out.
I do
n't ever want to feel that pain again.
When I step into my apartment, I see Katie is already home. She's lounging on the couch in her pajamas, typing away on her laptop with one hand while she holds a glass of white wine in the other.
"Oh, I didn't think you'd be home," I say as I take off my heels.
"Parker has an early flight tomorrow morning," she explained. "I let him go to bed early."
"How was it?" I ask as I peel my jacket off and hang it up next to the door. I walk over to the free part of the couch and take a seat.
"It was magical," she coos. "I really think we're getting serious. Any doubts I may have had about him before have disappeared. He's definitely all in."
"That's great to hear!" I smile, but I'm not forgetting about her frequent venting and complaining, and their intense late night screaming matches over the phone. It's best to take her claims with a grain of salt.
"I'm gonna miss him so much," she says. "He'll be gone for three weeks. I don't know what I'm gonna do!"
"I'm sure you'll manage," I mumble.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing!" I shake my head. "Sorry. I'm just tired."
"How'd the event go?"
I freeze. "Um... it went fine. I botched my speech, but otherwise, yeah. It was fine."
Katie raises her eyebrow. She already knows I'm hiding something.
"What?"
"Just spit it out. Whatever it is you're hiding, spit it out."
"I'm not hiding anything!" I laugh nervously.
She just stares.
"All right, fine," I relent. "But you're gonna be pissed."
"Pissed? Why?"
"Kade Hughes was there."
"What?!"
I swear Katie jumps a foot into the air, making the wine spill out of her glass. Fortunately it misses the laptop.
"Oh, shit!" she exclaims, but I'm not sure whether she's talking about my revelation or the spilled wine on her PJ's.
She puts the laptop on the coffee table with one hand and rubs the wet spot on her leg, as if that'll somehow soak it up.
"You've got to be kidding me!"
"I'm not," I shake my head. "Not only that— but he donated half a million dollars."
"Oh, my God." Katie sinks back into the couch. "I can't believe I missed that. Fuck! I'm gonna be kicking myself for the rest of my life."