by Vanessa Fox
"So how was work?" Kade asks. He sounds so casual, like we're back together. That annoys me.
"Oh, it was fine," I say with a half smile.
"Is my 500k being put to good use? None of it's going into Mrs. Cooper's shoe fund, right?"
Despite myself, I laugh. Mrs. Cooper does have an obsession with shoes. "No, of course not. Not that I know of, at least."
"Good."
"How's, um, your work?" I ask. This is all feeling a bit awkward and I'm wondering if there's a point.
"Fantastic," he answers with a wide grin. "Haven't you been following the news? We're still undefeated."
"Oh, that's amazing," I say. "I haven't really been keeping up, lately. I've put a moratorium on media."
"Oh, why's that?"
Isn't it obvious?
I shrug, trying to look casual. "I just have better things to concern myself with."
"Uh huh," he nods.
"So what did you want to talk to me about?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you said you wanted to talk to me. So talk."
He chuckles and takes a swig of his beer. "I just feel like you didn't give me much of a chance that other night."
"A chance to do what?" I'm piercing him with my eyes, but he's rising to the challenge. He stares back at me steadily and it makes my heart pound in my ears.
"Well, for one. I never feel like we cleared the air about what really happened when we broke up."
"Oh. Right." I take a long swig. I feel like I'm getting a buzz already, but I know that can't be possible. It must be my nerves and the adrenaline coursing through my veins.
"I was upset that night," he explains. "I was trying to drink myself into a stupor. I had no intention of getting with any girls. It was the last thing on my mind. But Lacey wouldn't leave me alone. She was drunk, and being super aggressive. She kind of fell onto my lap and when I tried to push her off, she kissed me and started jamming her tongue down my throat."
"Okay," I say listlessly. I really don't want to relive this experience.
"Then you just kind of appeared at the worst time. I'm sorry you had to see that. But I promise you it was not intentional. You know, they always say 'it's not what it looks like' but in my case, it was true."
I take a deep breath. "Well, thanks for clearing that up."
"You're welcome." He grins and takes another swig.
"It's important to have closure," I say. "For the record, I'm not upset about it anymore. I don't hold a grudge. It is what it is."
He nods. "Good."
His eyes graze my face.
I shift my weight, self-conscious under his gaze. I cast my eyes down and can feel the heat blooming in my cheeks.
Ugh, this is so frustrating! This is the last place I expected to be today: inside Kade's apartment, drinking beer on his couch, with him gawking at me like a hungry lion waiting to feast.
It's not just the circumstances. It's the fact that I feel so damn weak being near him. I can smell his cologne. I can feel the heat of his body at such close proximity. My limbs feel like jello and every cell inside my body is screaming at me to give in to him. I know it's going to be a battle of will power, but something about Kade makes my force of will shrivel up and shrink down to nothing. My body doesn't want to fight him, but my brain is urging me to put a stop to this... whatever this is or might become.
"So that's it, then?" I finally get up the nerve to ask. I sit up straight and clear my throat. "You clear the air, I forgive you, and we're back to square one?"
He blinks. "Yeah? Why not?"
I scoff. "So with a few sentences, you've just magically unraveled all the shit that happened in the past and now everything's perfect again?"
He shrugs. "Well, I guess the alternative is to hold on to a grudge about a misunderstanding that happened in high school, when we were both young and stupid, and go on feeling like shit about it, and about each other, forever."
I take a deep breath. He kind of has a point, I guess.
But I'm not about to give him this win. "No, the alternative is to accept whatever happened, graciously, without ill will, wish each other the best and move on with our respective lives."
He grins, and the way his eyes light up and crease at the sides makes butterflies tumble in my stomach. "You're so intent on keeping me out of your life, aren't you?"
I'm not really sure what to say to that. "Um, well, it's not that you have to stay out of my life. It's just that I don't need you in my life."
"Well, we don't need a lot of things. We don't need this beer. I don't need this fancy condo. Hell, nobody needs football. It's a luxury. But that doesn't make those things damn nice to have."
He's done it. Despite myself, I find my lips curling up into a smile. I give him a coy side-eye. I'm not trying to be coy, it just seems to happen naturally whenever Kade is anywhere in my proximity.
"You really think I have nothing to add to your life?" he asks me in a cocky tone of voice. "No value at all? Nothing about me could make your life a little bit better? More fun, more exciting?"
"Oh, I'm sure you'd bring plenty of excitement," I say. "You already have. But I know that's not all you'll bring."
"What else?"
I cock my head and give him an exasperated look.
"Oh, I see," he smiles. "Drama. Pain. Tears. Broken plates. All that jazz."
"And the accompanying tabloids broadcasting our personal lives for all the world to see," I add.
"Well, then," he says, stretching his arm out around the back of the couch. I can feel his hand grazing my back, and I'm certain that's not an accident. "Let's make a promise to each other right now. When you and I are together, it's a drama free zone. No drama, no tears, no nothing. Just casual fun. Entertainment. Let's enjoy the best that we have to offer each other, and discard the shitty parts altogether."
My heart sinks as a realization hits me. "Casual fun?"
He shrugs. "Yeah."
"Oh, okay. I see." I look straight ahead, pursing my lips.
"What?"
"Kade..." I sigh. "I'm not really interested in having casual fun."
He gives me a puzzled look. "Oh— that? No, that's not what I mean."
"Then what do you mean?"
"I just mean... you know. Easy-going. Carefree."
"Friends with benefits," I clarify.
He laughs. "No! That's not—"
I set the beer down on the glass coffee table and stand up. "I should go."
I start making my way towards the exit and he follows me. He takes my hand and when I spin around, we're standing so close, our faces and bodies are mere inches away. I can feel his heat and his breath against my face, and my heart beats relentlessly in my chest. I know my cheeks are red and I hate that my internal conflict is made so plain and obvious for him to see.
"What do you want?" he asks softly. His voice purrs and I feel a sting of pleasure in between my legs. I desperately wish for his voice to break like an awkward teenager. I want to see a booger hanging out of his nose. I want him to rip a giant fart right in front of me. Anything to make him less drop-dead-sexy. Though, at this point none of those things could even detract from him.
"I just want to be left alone," I reply, and there's no doubt to either of us that it's one big red lie.
"I don't think that's true," he says, and his voice is barely above a whisper.
My hand is still being held in his, and he gently grazes the tops of my knuckles with his thumb. He pulls me in closer. I'm trying hard to avoid eye contact, but his green eyes keep drawing me back. We gaze at each other, and at the moment I feel like a planet that's just crossed the event horizon of a black hole. There's no escape now.
He dips his head and closes the gap between us, gently grazing his lips against mine as his other hand reaches up to caress my cheek. I sink into his kiss as every cell in my body erupts. Oddly, it feels like a giant weight has been lifted. I part my mouth and he flicks a curious tongue inside.
&
nbsp; I wrap my arms around his waist and caress his back, fingers grazing his hard, developed back muscles. In the back of my mind, my rational side is screaming at me, "Willow, what the fuck are you doing?!"
But its cries are growing fainter and fainter as I allow myself to give in to his embrace.
Kissing him feels so good. Just like it was before. Only maybe, this time... even better.
After we broke up, one thing I always wondered was if I'd ever again feel the same magic from a kiss that I did with Kade. During my stay at Harvard, I made out with a few different guys, and the experiences were mediocre at best. Even after I got a boyfriend, Randall, I still found myself underwhelmed. While I certainly felt a lot of affection for him, it was nothing compared to the lust, the chemistry, the sheer out-of-this-world, earth-shattering magic of being with Kade. It was like comparing a 4th of July sparkler to the glorious explosion of a professional fireworks show at Disneyworld.
I never would've guessed that I would feel that way again... with Kade himself, no less.
As our kissing grows deeper and more forceful, as Kade runs his hands over my body, clawing at me hungrily... it suddenly hits me that this is what I've been missing.
That constant vague feeling of dissatisfaction and emptiness that I've been carrying around with me for years. In an instant it's been filled.
Without breaking the kiss, he puts his hands on my waist and gently pulls me back into the living room area. He backs up to the edge of the couch sectional and falls back, taking me with him.
Suddenly I'm on top of him and I can acutely feel the hard bulge in his pants, rubbing me right in between my legs. His lips are on my neck, sending chills down my spine, and one hand snakes up under my blouse and cups my breast while the other squeezes my ass through my skirt.
I can't help the moans escaping from my throat, as I run my hands along his six pack abs and grind into his erection.
I'm still in shock over what's happening, but it's like my body's possessed with a hunger I haven't known for years.
My hands find their way to the top of his jeans. I fumble with his belt buckle and he assists me. I'm unzipping him when I hear a buzz, followed by the bass beats of a popular rap song.
Kade breaks the kiss with me and reaches over to the coffee table, picking up his phone.
"Oh shit, it's Coach," he pants. "Sorry."
I freeze in place, my heart pounding wildly with my hands right at his crotch. I can feel the throb of his cock through his boxer shorts, and I'm certain my panties are soaked all the way through.
"Hey," Kade answers, out of breath. He gives me an apologetic look and raises his finger, asking me to give him a moment.
I take a deep breath and reluctantly climb off of him. He sits up straight, his hard cock tenting his boxers. I sit down next to him on the couch and wait.
"Oh yeah, that's what I thought, too," he says. "Yeah, throw him in. You know Jones isn't getting enough coverage on—... yeah. Uh huh. Exactly. Well, you know, I think our zone read is decent. It's man coverage that needs work. Coach Grimes said that we need to increase the depth on the backfield."
I feel awkward sitting here now. The vibe has changed completely.
As Kade continues his incomprehensible football garble, I'm slowing getting my senses back.
What the hell am I doing, exactly?
I've been here twenty minutes and he's already had his tongue down my throat. I was two seconds away from taking his cock out and doing God knows what with it. He could even be inside me, right now, if it weren't for that phone call. Just like that.
What the hell happened?
How did he get his claws back in me so easily?
"Based on their last game, I don't think they're capable of putting two on one, without screwing up secondary coverage. Yeah, exactly."
It feels like an eternity before Kade finally ends the call. In the meantime, I've finished off the rest of my beer.
"Sorry about that." He clears his throat and smiles. "So, where were we?"
He leans in close and places his hand on my thigh.
"Listen, Kade—" I put my hand to his chest to stop him. "This is too much."
"Oh." His face falls and he sits back. "Sorry if that call ruined it for you. When Coach calls I really have to answer—"
"No, no! It's fine," I assure him. "It's just, it's happening so fast. I don't know if I'm ready."
He looks disappointed, but understanding. He nods. "It's okay. I might have gotten a little carried away. I just... I can't help myself when you're near me. It's like something takes over me."
I know exactly what he's talking about, but I don't want him to know it. I just smile, and try to put thoughts of his throbbing cock out of my mind. But it's hard, because his pants are still unzipped and it's right there in front of me.
"I should go," I say quickly. "Thank you for the drink and for... everything else."
I hurry towards the exit, grabbing my coat and stuffing my arms in it.
"What's the rush?"
I have no valid reason for rushing off, so I just ignore his question. He's followed me to the door, so I give him a quick peck on the cheek.
"Hold on," he takes my hand. "Not so fast."
He pulls his phone out of his back pocket and holds it up. "Number."
I cock my head and give him a sly smile.
"What, you think I'd let you leave without it? Come on, darlin'."
I take it from him and key in my number. "Only so you don't keep harassing me at work."
He grins. "You need a ride home?"
"No, it's okay," I say. "I'm too young to die."
"Ouch," he teases, putting his hand on his heart. "You're so mean."
"Uh huh."
He gives me a wink as I push open the door and step out. Walking down the hallway, I feel like I'm in a dream. Did that really just happen?
Chapter 13
Kade
I sigh and rest my forehead on the door. Endorphins are flowing through my veins and my heart is pounding like I'm a damn teenager again.
When I called Willow at work, I expected her to hang up on me as soon as she recognized my voice. I had no idea this evening would play out the way it did.
For a moment, I had her again.
She was mine.
I can still taste her lips on mine. The faint scent of her perfume still lingers in my condo, like part of her is still here.
I'm still a little hard from having her staddle me, her wide hips and round ass grinding into my cock. For a second there, I thought I'd be inside her, feeling her warmth and her wetness for the first time since we were eighteen years old. If it weren't for fuckin' Coach ruining the moment, I would've been.
Note to self: next time don't answer the phone, no matter who it is.
I don't know what this all means.
I don't know what she's feeling.
Maybe she'll get cold feet about seeing me again after this. Or maybe she'll go home and touch herself thinking about me, and wait longingly for my phone call.
Whatever the case, despite my disappointment at her sudden departure, I'm feeling revved up. I feel like I've been given a shot of vitality again. A taste of something real— something necessary. Something to give my life meaning again.
I have practice early tomorrow morning and I know I'm gonna bring the heat. I have a new lease on life and I'm gonna show it with every move I make.
If people were impressed by Kade Hughes before, now they're in for a fucking treat.
Because I feel superhuman.
Willow
I step meekly into my apartment. I can feel my cheeks burning red at the mere anticipation of facing Katie. I don't know if I can hold it in. I don't know if I can play it cool. And I don't know if I want to.
"You're late," is all she says as I take my coat and shoes off.
"What, are you my wife now?" I tease. "Do I have to check in with you?"
She throws a pillow at me from the couch but I duck ju
st in time.
"I made salmon and asparagus, but it's cold now. I put it in the fridge."
"Oh, so you are mad."
She points an accusing finger at me. "Where were you, young lady?!"
"That's my business," I smirk as I take a seat next to her.
"Oh, so you were getting up to no good," Katie laughs. "I knew it."
"Sheesh, I'm just forty-five minutes late. It's not like I was out all night."
"Forty-five minutes is more than enough time to get up to no good."
She reads my face. "Oh shit, you really did do something, didn't you?"
I shake my head. I try to stop myself from smiling but I can't.
"Tell me," she grabs my arm and shakes me. "You better fucking tell me or I'll never speak to you again."
"Ugh," I groan.
"Your face is as red as a fire engine. Tell me what happened."
"Um, well," I bite my bottom lip. "I kinda met up with Kade."
"You what?!" She stands up and grabs at her raven black hair like she's about to pull it out.
"He called me at work and asked me out for a drink."
"And you actually said yes?!"
"I know, stupid right?" I roll my eyes. "Well, anyway... I went to his condo and we just hung out for a little bit and had a beer."
She sits back down. "Hung out?"
"Yes, hung out." I can't stop myself from grinning.
Katie's jaw drops. It looks like she might have a brain embolism and die right in front of me.
"Tell me what you did. I want to know everything, in pornographic detail."
I laugh. "Sorry, nothing pornographic. Well... almost, but not quite."
"Almost?!" she screams, and my eardrum stings with pain.
"Geez, calm down! Okay, so, he kissed me, and we made out for a while until he got a phone call. That gave me a few minutes to clear my head and that's when I realized I should probably go."
"What?! You left after that? Come on, Willow."
"What do you mean?" I ask, incredulous. "I'm not dumb enough to sleep with my ex after a whole twenty minutes."