The female vampire, who had her arm hooked around the man’s crooked elbow, smiled. “What a stunning space you have here. We were thrilled to find out about it, and we’re so excited about the topic of the weekend. Has the Strongman arrived?”
“Not yet,” I said. I glanced at my phone again. It was 3:20. “Speaking of Neil the Strongman, I’d better go meet him at the portal gate. Please, make yourselves at home. This center is for all of us... We want everyone to feel welcome and inspired here.”
The couple drifted off, and I bid Annie goodbye with a hug and a quick “thank you.”
Then it was up to the portal gate for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Skili, as usual, soared along next to the van.
As I pulled to a stop on the rocky road in front of the metal gate, I reviewed everything that I knew about our guest speaker.
Neil had an impressive resume, which was what made me feel he’d be the perfect speaker to kick off a series of weekend retreats that my witch sisters and I had planned. Each retreat would focus on an archetype. I was excited about the entire series, which would include workshops focused on the artist, hermit, and King Midas archetypes, just to name a few. Skili has informed me many times that it’s important to work with archetypes if one wants to become more magical.
Which, I felt, was what we all wanted and needed. It was what the entire universe needed, in my humble opinion. We needed to become more magical.
Thus, I reached out to Neil the Strongman, and asked him to be a guest speaker for our opening weekend.
To my great pleasure, he’d said yes.
He was a four-time champion of the Air Realm’s Heavy Lifting competition, as well as a top competitor in the annual Water Realm Underwater Bodybuilders events. His scores in the Fire Realm Olympics were off the charts. But where he really shined was in the Spirit Realm, where he led boot camps for other athletes, and turned them into champions in their chosen field. I’d even read a slew of testimonials from magical beings who had trained with him, and they all said the same thing: Neil was invincible; tough as nails; inspiring. A man who could draw out the potential in others. Practically a superhero.
He expressed his magic by being strong, and encouraging others to be strong, too. I felt that was exactly the kind of energy that our opening weekend would thrive on.
I’d seen pictures of the guy, while researching him. He was nearly seven feet tall, and jacked up with huge, bulging muscles.
I took a deep breath as I approached the gate. Skili hung back, perched on the top of the van. She liked to let me do things on my own sometimes, and apparently this was one of those times. The air was shimmering, and I knew that meant that a being was inside the magical waiting room, eager to be allowed into the Earth Realm. Neil’s in there, I thought to myself. Has he been waiting long?
I couldn’t help but picture what it would be like to meet him.
Maybe he’d be doing bicep curls with the few items of furniture in the waiting room, or busting out some inclined pushups with his feet up on a chair, and his massive pecs bulging every time they kissed the waiting room floor.
Or maybe he’d be doing something gymnastic, like a handstand.
As a yoga enthusiast, I’ve always dreamed of doing a handstand. I can do them against a wall, but not free standing.
I was imagining Neil in all of his strong glory as I focused on the shimmering air. The curtain parted and my eyes swept the room beyond.
At first, I didn’t see Neil at all. My eyes went straight to an elderly woman, with thin white hair that was swept back out of her face, a square jaw, and a knowing look in her dark, penetrating eyes.
She wasn’t strong. In fact, what I could see of her figure looked rather frail. Most of her body was hidden by the enormous poofy dress that she wore, but I could see the outline of her shoulders and arms clearly, and they were narrow and boney. The bottom hem of her dress was the circumference of a kiddie pool, and it dragged against the floor of the waiting room. If this was the person I’d hired to lead my weekend workshops about developing strength, then I must have made a big mistake somewhere along the line.
“Neil?” I said in a whisper. “Is that... is that you? You look very different in person than you did in your pictures.”
The woman tilted her head back and laughed. The sound echoed off of the white walls in the waiting room. There was movement behind her, and for the first time, I saw a man sitting in one of the white plastic waiting room chairs.
He was dressed in a white velour tracksuit and a white hat, which made him practically invisible in the stark white room. But as I focused on him, I could see it was definitely Neil. His bulky, bulging, muscular bod made the regular-sized chair look like it was one of the little ones found in kindergarten classrooms. The guy was massive. He was sitting with one leg crossed over the other, and he was staring intently at the floor.
The woman’s laughing died down and she wiped a tear from her eye. “You must be Marley Greene,” she said. “As Neil’s agent, I read all of his emails. I saw that you reached out to invite him to speak at your little weekend workshop. And Neil here accepted the offer, without even consulting me.”
She turned and scowled at the cowering bodybuilder.
I felt worry lines etch into my brow. “Should I have contacted you instead of Neil?” I asked. “I apologize if I messed that up. I didn’t mean to cause a problem.” I looked past the woman and spoke to Neil. “Sorry about that Neil,” I said, hoping to engage with him.
But he wouldn’t meet my eye.
The woman continued. “I’m Sarin,” she said, placing a hand on her chest. “Neil’s agent, and the owner of the Lazy S Inn, where Neil and many others reside. As Neil’s agent, I handle his finances.”
I waited, not sure where she was going with this.
“Neil happens to be a very good athlete, but a very poor money manager. Is that right, Neil?”
She looked back at Neil, who nodded meekly.
Sarin turned her piercing gaze to me. “So I’d like payment, in full, in advance for Neil’s work this weekend. He’s run up quite a tab at my Inn, and this will at least get him up to date and secure his room for the next month.”
“Now?” I said. “Well, I guess so...” I rummaged through my vest pocket until I found my cloth change purse. Ever since I inherited millions from my grandfather, about a year ago, I’ve kept ample cash in my little purse. That was fortunate, because I had two thousand dollars in cash on hand.
I walked forward to pass the bills to Sarin. She stepped out of the waiting room, and the hem of her pale pink dress dragged through the mud as she met me out on the dirt road. Once she had the bills safely tucked into the bosom of her dress, she turned and beckoned to Neil.
“Oh Neee-il,” she called out in a singsong voice. “Time to go to work!”
He stood and shuffled toward us. Sarin extracted something from within the other side of the neckline of her dress. She handed it to me. It was a business card.
The Lazy S Inn
Join us for a stay!
Check out of your life of toil and trouble—
—and check in to a life of ease in the Spirit Realm.
Located at Puff 3 of Cloud 9.
The text was written on a puffy pink cloud. I turned the card over and saw contact information for Sarin, including an email address and a phone number.
“Feel free to reach out to me anytime,” she said with a wink. “I would love to have your presence at my inn, Marley.”
“Me?” I said. “Why me?”
“Because, you’re meant for a different kind of life,” she said while pinning me with a penetrating gaze. “I can always sense the ones who are meant to stay at my inn, and you’re one of them.”
I stepped away from her. I’m sensitive to energy, and I didn’t like the cloying, desperate feel coming off of Sarin.
“I am not only the owner of the Lazy S Inn,” she said, “I am also an evangelist of sorts. I search out those po
or lost souls who are trapped in lives of toil and trouble. I help them escape all of that.”
She pointed to the card in my hands. “See?” she said. “It says it all on the card.”
“I happen to like my life,” I said. “I don’t need to check out. But thank you.”
“Ah, you say that now,” she said. “But if I understand the gossip correctly, you’re only just facing your destiny now. You’re about to see how difficult and tiring that can be.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to this, so I stayed quiet.
She continued. “You’re starting a magical resort on the Earth Realm, darling. You must know that won’t be easy. You’re a bit like Sisyphus. You know the story?”
I nodded. “He’s the guy from the myth, who had to push a boulder up a hill over and over again. Every time he neared the top, the boulder rolled all the way back down and he had to start all over again. But I don’t see what that has to do with me.”
“Oh, come now, Marley, darling,” she said, with a sly smile. “Surely you do! Your task is just as relentless and troublesome as Sisyphus’s. I can’t imagine anything more futile than teaching magic on earth. If you get weary, you know who to call!”
She backed away from me just as Neil reached my side. I watched her maneuver her skirts around the side of the gate, and then she stepped back into the waiting room and the curtain closed.
And then all that I could see was the mountain pass road, winding up past the gate, shrouded in pine trees on either side and disappearing into the mountains beyond. If I didn’t know that the gate was a portal, I’d never suspect it. This was a good thing, seeing as many of Hillcrest’s residents were non-magical, and would probably get freaked out if the portal had a more obvious appearance.
I turned to Neil. “What was that all about?” I asked. I looked down at the card in my hands. “Why does she seem so desperate?”
“Because she is desperate,” Neil said with a shrug. “Aren’t we all? We’re just desperate for different things.” He looked distinctly more like what I was expecting now that Sarin was gone. His shoulders were squared, his chin lifted, and he was standing tall.
I tucked the card into my vest pocket and led Neil to my van in silence. Skili took off into the air as we neared.
It was 3:45; we were going to make it to the meet and greet just in time. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on a glass of wine and more of that cheese.
Chapter Three
I couldn’t stop thinking about Sarin as I steered down the road. There was something about her that really bothered me. Her energy seemed to cling to me like a bad smell, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that she had emitted.
“What is she desperate for?” I wondered aloud. I turned down the reggae music and turned to Neil to see if he had an answer.
He was peering over the edge of the road with a look of concern. The rocky drop-off clearly had him worried. “This road should really have some guardrails on it,” he said. He looked at me. “Do all roads in the Earth Realm have sheer drops on the side like this?”
“Not all,” I said. “But lots of the roads in Colorado do. I grew up here, so I’m used to it. Besides, aren’t you supposed to be brave? I’m hoping you're going to give some inspiring and informative talks this weekend about harnessing your inner strength.”
“I’m a work in progress—aren’t we all?” he said, still looking nervously out his window. Then he turned to me. “You’re wondering about Sarin, and what she’s desperate for. Sarin is desperate to convince everyone she meets that her way is the best.”
“You mean, her lifestyle at the Lazy S Inn?” I asked.
Neil nodded. “Yep.”
“And what way is that, exactly?” I pressed.
“‘Being a passerby,’ she calls it,” he said. “She advocates for an easy life of stillness.”
He was quiet for a moment as I navigated a particularly narrow section of road. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, holding his breath. Once we passed through, he exhaled and continued. “Yep, a life of ease, where one can just let the world pass by without taking action. It’s very relaxing, but I can only do it for short periods of time. It gets sort of boring, you know? All that ease. That’s why I spend most of my day outside of the Lazy S Inn, training for challenging athletic events. I only sleep at Sarin’s inn at night. She does have great rates, just $30 a week for her long-term guests.”
“That’s a bargain, for sure,” I said. I was still trying to wrap my mind around what Neil was saying. “So, she tries to convince people to be still? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Exactly. She wants people to ‘check out’ of their lives, and ‘check in’ to her inn. I think that’s her motto or something.”
I nodded. I’d read it on the card.
The retreat center came into sight. I was about to ask Neil if he was feeling ready to do some mingling when he spoke. “I’m surprised you let her step out of the waiting room. I thought you and your witch sisters were strict about who you let in through that portal. That’s the word out in the magical universe at least—the Earth Realm is supposed to be pretty exclusive.”
“It is,” I say. “We’re careful about who we let in. It’s for the safety of everyone in our realm. That’s why we had everyone who was attending this weekend's retreat register in advance. I was very careful today about who passed through.”
“You didn’t seem all that careful,” he said.
I wasn’t sure what he was getting at. I steered through a shimmery, pale pink layer of air at the edge of the retreat center parking lot. A ripple formed around the van, and then disappeared. Neat! I was sure I’d just driven through the magical barrier that Annie had spoken of earlier.
Neil continued as I parked. “You let her walk right out onto that dirt road. A recruiter could have escaped her skirts and zipped off into the woods. They’re sneaky like that, those recruiters of hers. Sarin only wears her biggest dress when she’s trying to smuggle them into places where they wouldn’t be welcome.”
“What?” I said, as I pulled the keys from the ignition. “Neil, I don’t know what you’re talking about. What recruiters?”
“Sarin’s recruiters,” he said matter-of-factly. “They’re nasty little buggers, too. Very manipulative. Very tricky. You have to watch out for them. So I was surprised you let her step out onto the road. I thought for sure I saw one slip out from under her skirt and dart off into the woods.”
“Great,” I sighed and leaned my head back against my seat. This day was falling apart at the seams, and I felt that there was very little I could do about it. “I guess I’d better warn my witch sisters to be on the lookout for one of Sarin’s recruiters on the loose around our town. What do they look like?”
“They’re spooky looking, for sure,” Neil said. “They wear long, gray-hooded capes, and usually you can’t see their faces because of the shadows from the hoods.”
“Okay, so we’re going to be looking out for spooky, hooded-cape-wearing figures,” I say. “Anything else I should know about them?”
“They are extremely manipulative, like I said,” Neil said. “Sarin trained them to recruit customers to her Inn. The reason I stay at the inn every night now is because of one of those sneaky recruiters. So be careful if you end up talking to one.”
“Thanks for the warning,” I said.
We left the van and walked together to the building. As we stepped into the lobby, I saw that Annie had come through on her promise of getting ready for the meet and greet. Votive candles magically floated in the air high above the space, up near the ceiling. It was now 4:00 and the sun was sinking lower in the sky outside, nearing the tips of the craggy mountain peaks. The candles cast a warm glow over the room. The tree in the middle of the lobby was also done up with twinkling white lights. Though no one was sitting at the piano, the keys magically moved, creating soothing music that filled the space, along with the chatter of guests. Platters of food floated around the room,
weaving between clusters of beings. Trays filled with glasses of wine, sparkly mixed drinks, ice water, and fragrant teas also floated through the air, and seemed to refill instantly the minute a guest chose a glass from among the offerings. I smiled as a beverage tray floated by, and swiped a glass of white wine.
“This is our center,” I said to Neil, who was still at my side. “Thanks for being here for the opening weekend. I think your message is really going to resonate with our guests. A lot of them said they were really looking forward to learning from you, when they purchased tickets.”
As I sipped the wine, my gaze swept over the room, taking in the happy faces of guests.
The lobby looked so beautiful. I was excited for Carlisle Crimson to see it. Hopefully it would win him over and he’d start enjoying his stay.
I didn’t see Carlisle, but I did see his wife, Beatrix. I excused myself from Neil and made my way to Beatrix’s side, swiping a stuffed mushroom off of a platter as I walked.
Beatrix was conversing with a few women who had tell-tale mer tattoos visible on their arms. I suspected they were merwomen from the Water Realm. My suspicions were confirmed as I approached.
“I heard him speak once at a Water Realm Olympics pre-party,” one merwoman said. She had long curly blond hair, and beach-weathered skin. “He was fascinating. And it doesn’t hurt that he’s easy on the eyes.”
The ladies shared a good giggle. The blond merwoman went on. “His talk was all about his actual bodybuilding routines. I was a fitness nut at the time, you know, swimming over ten kilometers a day. But this weekend is supposed to be more about mindset stuff.”
“I could really use a mindset upgrade,” the other merwoman said. She was short and plump and had pink hair. “My magic has been so weak ever since I had my twins. I used to shift forms several times a day, now I only have energy to shift a few times a year. It’s awful.”
The Strongman's Spell Page 3