by Mike Gayle
‘Cancel?’ Adam turned down the gas underneath the eggs he was currently frying. ‘Why would you want to do that?’
‘Because I’m not ready!’ she said, only half joking. ‘I need more time. You know you only get one opportunity to make a first impression.’
‘I don’t believe you! You’ve travelled all over the world, stood up to address meetings crammed full of ludicrously rich and powerful business people and run divisions that made a lot of money for your company and you’re scared of meeting a little sixty-seven-year-old woman who wouldn’t say boo to a goose and her two reprobate sons – who to be frank should be more concerned with impressing you than the other way round. What is wrong with you?’
‘I’m nervous, that’s all.’
‘You’ll be fine. All you need to know is that Mum likes fussing during dinner so there’s no point in asking her to take a seat, Luke is bound to be a bit off with you because his life is falling apart and Russell . . . well Russell will more than likely fall in love with you the second you say hello.’
‘You say all this like it’s some kind of a joke! Meeting your family is actually kind of a big deal, you know. I mean, what if they don’t like me?’
‘Then they won’t invite you back.’
‘I’m serious, Adam. This is a really big deal.’
‘To be fair it’s not a really big deal – it’s actually a lot bigger than that. I didn’t want to freak you out but since you’re already halfway there anyway I suppose it’s time I told you the truth: I have never, ever, ever in all my thirty-eight years brought a girlfriend –’ He stopped and raised a solitary ironic eyebrow. ‘I take it you are officially my girlfriend now, aren’t you?’ Steph rolled her eyes in a weary fashion. ‘Good,’ said Adam, and then continued – ‘back to my parents’ house for Sunday lunch.’
‘Never?’
‘Not ever.’
‘And you’re telling me this now because?’
‘Because basically you could walk in that house, slap my mum in the face with a wet fish, put your feet on the table and fart the National Anthem and my family would still think you’re the best thing since sliced bread.’ Adam paused and turned up the heat under the frying pan until the oil began to froth and spit. ‘So are you ready?’
‘Yes.’
‘For breakfast or to meet my family?’
Steph took a deep breath and exhaled. ‘Both.’
From the moment that she first received Adam’s text about meeting his family Steph had gone into panic mode even though Adam tried his best to point out that the Bachelors ‘weren’t the kind of family you have to worry about impressing’. No matter what Adam said to reassure her Steph refused to be reassured and instead demanded that with the little time they had left Adam should make sure she was up to date with every single last bit of Bachelor family trivia.
As they ate breakfast together Steph began to calm down enough to read out various snippets of news she thought worthy of discussion. Although Adam had little or no interest in the article about the investigation of a corrupt MP or the one about the playwright who had written a play that had a bunch of people he had never heard of up in arms, Adam liked the fact that Steph was interested in these things. As he sat watching her half chewing on a fried egg sandwich while simultaneously getting irate over a comment in the letters pages he finally accepted something that had only partially occurred to him before this moment: Adam Bachelor (bar owner, man about town and current holder of the title ‘second best-looking bloke in Chorlton’) had fallen completely and incontrovertibly in love with Steph Holmes.
‘Mum this is Steph,’ said Adam as he stood in his mother’s hallway. ‘And Steph this is Mum.’
‘I’m so pleased to meet you,’ said Joan, in what Adam noted as her ‘this is the voice I would use to meet the queen’ manner. She was wearing her ‘these are the clothes I would use to meet the queen’ clothes too, a pale lilac outfit that Adam had only seen her wear once before at his eldest cousin’s wedding. She shook Steph’s hand, invited her into the front room and asked if she would like a cup of tea.
‘I’d love one,’ said Steph. ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’
‘Oh, no,’ said Joan. ‘I think I’ve pretty much got everything under control. How do you like your tea? I’m guessing you don’t take sugar.’
‘You’ve guessed right,’ said Steph. ‘No sugar for me but apart from that I’ll take it as it comes, thanks.’
Nodding to herself appreciatively as if Steph’s no-sugar-in-tea stance was indicative of some great moral worth of which she approved, Joan left the room and returned five minutes later with two cups of tea on a tray, served in the china which only ever got used at Christmas or for visitors of international importance.
‘Adam tells me Sunday lunch at your house is a bit of a tradition, Mrs Bachelor,’ said Steph as Joan handed her and Adam (even though he hadn’t asked for one) the cups of tea. ‘I think it’s great that you’ve managed to get your boys to sign up to it.’
‘I’ve always felt that it’s important to have family time,’ said Joan, taking a seat. ‘The boys know I don’t care about lavish birthday presents or Mother’s Day gifts but if there’s one thing guaranteed to make me happy then it’s making the effort to come here on a Sunday.’
‘She makes it sound like we’ve got a choice in the matter when it’s actually a rule of membership!’ joked Adam. ‘There was a time a few years ago when I missed a month of Sundays in a row and I swear mum was on the verge of making me hand over my keys to the house!’
‘That’s not true!’ said Joan. ‘I don’t want Stephanie thinking I’m some kind of tyrant.’
‘I’d never dream of thinking anything of the sort, Mrs Bachelor,’ said Steph. ‘No, I’m just pleased you’ve invited me to join you. I can’t remember the last time I had a proper Sunday dinner let alone the kind Adam’s described to me. I hear your roast potatoes are legendary.’
If there had been any doubt in Adam’s mind that Steph wouldn’t be a hit with his mum it evaporated from this moment. One potato-related compliment was pretty much all it took to make Joan putty in Steph’s hand. Seizing the opportunity to make a good first impression Steph chatted away to Mrs Bachelor about the art of the Sunday dinner before widening the conversation to include cake baking, bread making and the pros and cons of organic vegetables. By the time that the doorbell rang and Russell’s face appeared at the bay window they were chatting away like long lost friends.
‘Stephanie,’ said Joan with Russell and Angie in tow, ‘I’d like to introduce you to my youngest son Russell and his friend Angie.’
‘Lovely to meet you both,’ said Steph, rising to her feet and shaking both their hands. ‘I know it’s a cliché but I’ve heard so much about you I feel like I already know you.’
‘And here’s another right back at you,’ said Russell. ‘Was all of it bad?’
‘Adam was actually very complimentary,’ said Steph.
‘Now I know you’re fibbing,’ said Russell grinning. ‘My big brother never has a good word to say about me.’
‘It’s true,’ said Adam ‘Steph was just being polite.’ He grabbed Russell around the neck and put him into a headlock.
Steph looked worriedly at Angie as the two brothers wrestled. ‘Are they always like this?’
‘Pretty much,’ replied Angie. ‘But you’ll get used to it.’
Just before one, Luke turned up and the last introduction of the day was made.
‘Steph,’ said Adam, ‘this is my middle brother Luke: the brains of the family.’
Luke nodded sullenly. ‘Hi.’
There was an awkward silence. Adam tutted under his breath and wished that for once in his life Luke could make the effort to be civil. Everybody was aware that his life was falling apart so there was no reason for him to keep making the point.
‘Right,’ said Joan, immediately coming to Adam’s rescue. ‘Now let’s sit down and do what we’re all here for: eat!’
<
br /> As predicted Steph proved to be a big hit. Russell had started chatting to her about literature the second he spotted a novel by an author he liked poking out of her bag. Luke managed to pull himself out of his current slump long enough to reminisce for a good few minutes about their school days; and Mum seemed buoyed by Steph’s presence and much more like her old self even though it was obvious how keenly she felt the absence of both Dad and Cassie. Determined to make the best of a bad job Mum had deliberately sandwiched Steph between herself and Angie, and much to the consternation of the men at the table the three had got on together like the proverbial house on fire. With the exception of when his auntie came to stay, Adam had never seen his mum this animated and he was sure that much of his disquiet came from the fact that their once male-dominated household now seemed to be going the other way.
Volunteering to help clear the table and do the washing up, Adam seized the opportunity to talk to Mum alone in the kitchen while she set out the various dishes of dessert.
‘So what do you think, Mum? She’s great, isn’t she?’
‘She’s lovely, son. You’ve picked a right winner there, that’s for sure. I don’t want to make it seem as though you’re hopeless, Adam, but you won’t mess things up, will you?’
‘No, Mum, of course not.’
‘I think she’ll be good for you. She’s exactly what you need.’
‘I’m sure she’ll be pleased to hear that, Mum, but you’re making it sound like she’s on to a rough deal and I ought to get her down the aisle before she works out what’s going on.’
‘I wasn’t saying that, Adam. You’re a fine young man and I can’t imagine that there’s a girl in the world who wouldn’t be thrilled to have you in her life.’
‘Now that’s more like it! And once you’re out of earshot I’ll make sure to let her know just how lucky she is.’
Helping his mum with the various offerings she had prepared for pudding, Adam followed her back to the dining room where pretty much all of it was demolished within the hour. Keen to prolong the afternoon, Angie suggested they all go for a walk in the park and even though Adam insisted that he didn’t really ‘do’ walking in parks, Mum worried that she didn’t have the right kind of shoes and Luke claimed that he just didn’t fancy it, they all ended up putting on their coats and heading out for a turn around Chorlton Park before returning home for a cup of tea, a doze and a chat in front of the TV. If there was a top hundred moments in his family history Adam would cherish, this one was it, although he couldn’t help but feel guilty about enjoying it so much given his father’s absence.
Later, having already said their goodbyes, Adam made an excuse about having forgotten his mobile in order to have one last word with his mother.
‘Have you forgotten something?’ she asked as he walked through the front door.
‘No, Mum,’ he replied, determined to get straight to the point. ‘I came back because I wanted to talk to you about Dad. Today was great, wasn’t it? But it just didn’t feel right without Dad being here. I know you don’t like talking about it but no matter what happened between the two of you it’s time that you made up. Whatever he’s done, Mum – and believe me I don’t doubt for a second that Dad’s at fault here – even without knowing what it was, I can tell that he’s sorry. I know it and you’d know it too if you just sat down and spoke to him.’ Adam stopped. It was clear from the thin line of his mum’s mouth that he had succeeded in ruining what had been one of the best days the Bachelor family had had in a long time.
‘Because if you are, I for one think it’s a bad idea.’
It was the Wednesday evening of the following week and Luke was sitting in the Beech draining the last dregs from his pint glass while Adam looked on bemused.
‘Come on then,’ said Adam. ‘I know you’ve got something you want to tell me, you don’t normally just call up out of the blue and invite me for a drink, so why don’t you give us both a break and spit it out?’
Luke grinned. ‘That would be too easy. I’ll you what though, while I’m building up to my big news why don’t you take a moment or two to tell me more about that young lady you brought along to Mum’s on Sunday.’
‘What’s to say?’ Adam was keen to play his cards close to his chest. ‘You’ve met her. What did you think of her?’
‘I thought she was lovely. In fact too lovely for a guy like you. Is it serious?’
‘Do you think I would’ve introduced her to Mum if it wasn’t?’
‘Fair point. Introduce Mum to a girl and you know she’ll be asking questions about her for years to come. I still can’t believe it though. My big brother going out with a proper three-dimensional girl with a full set of opinions and a fully hardwired brain!’
‘Yeah well,’ said Adam, tiring of the scrutiny, ‘I suppose it had to happen some time.’ He took a sip from his glass. ‘While we’re avoiding your main topic of discussion how’s Dad?’
Luke shrugged. ‘He’s all right I suppose but even I can see that being without Mum is starting to take its toll. You know how busy he was doing things when he was living at yours and when he first moved into mine? Well, this past week all that seems to have ground to a halt. When I go out to work he’s still in bed and when I come back he’s slumped in front of the TV and the sink is full of washing-up.’
‘You know why that is, don’t you?’
Luke shook his head.
‘It’ll be the wedding anniversary that’s doing it.’
‘Of course! It’s only a couple of weeks away. With all that’s been going on lately I’d practically forgotten about it but you’re right. I can’t imagine that it’s slipped Mum’s mind or Dad’s for that matter. For all their talk of being casual it was going to be a big deal for them. So what do we do?’
Adam shrugged. ‘What can we do other than cross our fingers and hope for the best?’ Adam drained his pint and looked over at his brother. ‘So now that we’re both in as cheery a place as we can possibly be are you going to tell me this news of yours or what?’
‘Well, it’s like this,’ began Luke. ‘I’m feeling a bit odd and I need a second opinion on something I’ve just done.’
‘What exactly?’
‘I made a phone call.’
‘Who to?’
‘To Jayne,’ replied Luke. ‘As in Jayne my ex-wife.’
Searching out his ex-wife’s telephone number after his conversation with his dad Luke had been disappointed but not surprised to discover that the last number he had for her was no longer working. Refusing to give up after his first setback he searched out the last communication he had received from Jayne’s solicitor and then wrote requesting that they forward Luke’s contact details along with a message that he wished to get in touch with her. Determined to keep up the momentum he then found the contact details for Jayne’s parents and a number of her close friends and left messages with all. While there was no doubt that his scattergun approach had as much potential to drive her away as it did to make her contact him, he really didn’t have a choice. As his father had pointed out, every moment that passed in which his situation remained unchanged was potentially another moment in which Cassie could be getting closer to someone else.
A week and a half after his initial burst of activity Luke returned home from work to discover a solitary answerphone message and heard the voice of his ex-wife for the first time in years. The message simply said that she would call back later and hope to find him in. The effect on Luke was immediate and he found himself choking back tears at the thought that this call might represent a first step towards seeing his little girl again.
Two days later she called back just as Luke was thinking about going to bed. The conversation although short was warmer than Luke had imagined possible given their history and she suggested that they meet up at the nearest opportunity. Without offering her current whereabouts she asked if he still visited London; he assured her that he would meet her whenever and wherever she chose.
‘You
did what?’ spluttered Adam. ‘Why would you do that? You’re not thinking about getting back together, are you? Because I for one think it’s a bad idea.’
‘Of course I’m not thinking about getting back with her. This isn’t about her so much as Megan. Seeing her is the only way I’m ever going to be able to see Megan.’
‘So when are you going to see her?’
‘Next Wednesday in London. I’ve booked the whole day off. There’s a bar in Covent Garden that we used to go to when we first moved to London that’s still going so I said I’d meet her there and we’d decide exactly what to do after that.’
‘And she sounded OK?’
‘She seemed a bit . . . I don’t know, edgy I suppose, but it was nowhere near the hard work I was expecting. I don’t know if I’m reading too much into all this but it was almost as if she knew that one day I’d call and because I had she was at least going to make this bit easy for me.’
‘And there was no mention of Megan?’
‘Not a word.’
‘And what do you make of that?’
‘Nothing. Neither of us mentioned Megan but Jayne knew as well as I did that she was the reason I was calling.’
‘And choosing London? Do you think they live down there?’
‘Maybe, who knows? She could have got a new job or moved that way with a new partner. We could spend all day speculating but what would be the point? All that matters is that I see her. Because if I see her then I’ll get to see Megan and then I’ll be able to stop living in the past. After that if it’s not too late Cassie and I will finally be able to get on with our lives.’
Arriving home from BlueBar some time after ten Luke really wanted to call Cassie and tell her about everything that was going on. He even got as far as scrolling through his phone book for her mobile number before turning it off and throwing it on to the sofa. He knew it wouldn’t be fair to intrude in her life until everything that was broken inside him was fixed.