by Mike Gayle
Adam shrugged. ‘Since when has it ever been easy to guess what Mum will do about anything?’
Russell smiled. ‘Do you remember that time you got sent home with a letter from school about punching Sean Ellis in the face and you were crapping yourself because you thought she was going to do her nut? When she asked you why you did it and you said because Ellis was picking on me, she said, “Don’t do it again,” and that was it!’
‘That’s Mum all over. Who knows how her mind works?’
The two brothers fell into an awkward silence. Adam folded away the headphones of his iPod and was about to ask Russell if he wanted a drink from the machine in the corner when Russell spoke.
‘I’ve got news,’ he said quietly. ‘Me and Angie are definitely over. For good.’
‘When did this happen?’
‘This morning.’
‘Well if it makes you feel any better,’ said Adam. ‘I’ve pretty much messed up things with Steph.’
‘The girl you brought to Mum’s that time?’ Adam nodded. ‘Why would you do that? She was really nice.’
‘So was Angie.’
‘What is wrong with us Bachelors? Do you think we’re cursed?’
‘I must admit I have been sort of thinking the same thing.’
‘The evidence stacks up, right? Mum and Dad, you and Steph, Luke and Cass and now me and Angie. We are cursed.’
‘It would be a lot easier to deal with if we were,’ said Adam, ‘but do you know what? I don’t think it’s true.’
‘So what do you think the problem is?’
‘The same one that afflicts blokes the world over but for some reason seems to affect our family more than most,’ said Adam. ‘We just don’t know when we’re on to a good thing and even when we do know we can’t stop ourselves from screwing up.’
Adam went to get two coffees. He handed one to his brother and they sat talking about everything that was going on repeating themselves in a way that neither of them seemed to mind until Luke arrived.
‘How is he? Any news?’
Luke nodded. ‘He’s going to be OK. He’s asleep now but Mum and I have been chatting to his consultant and they think he must have accidentally doubled up on his blood pressure tablets. Although what happened was pretty severe, because the ambulance got there so quickly it was nowhere near as bad as it could have been. Anyway, they’ve given him a whole bunch of stuff to keep him stable and as long as there aren’t any major changes over the next couple of hours they should be able to tell us in the morning when we can take him home.’
‘That’s fantastic,’ declared Adam. ‘Has Mum said anything about that? You know, Dad coming home?’
Luke shook his head. ‘She’s not said much at all. But you can tell it’s really tearing her up seeing him like this. She’ll take him back, surely? I mean, I can take a few days off work but I’ll never be able to look after him properly.’
‘Don’t worry about it,’ said Adam. ‘He can come back to mine. It’s not like I haven’t got the time. The bar practically runs itself these days.’
‘And you know I’ll be there to help out too,’ added Russell. ‘We’ve got flexitime at work so I can do mornings or early evenings or whatever will make things easiest. Just let me know.’
Luke rubbed his eyes. ‘I can’t believe how late it is. I’ve told Mum she should go back home and we’ll sit with Dad but she won’t hear of it. Once you guys have been to see him I’m more than happy to sit with her until morning. Who’s going up next?’
‘Russell,’ said Adam firmly.
‘Fine,’ said Russell even though he had been considering arguing the point. ‘I’ll see you both in a bit.’
‘Good news?’
Adam and Luke watched Russell disappear and both looked around the waiting room as if searching for inspiration.
‘I’ve got to get out of here even if it’s just for a couple of minutes,’ said Luke. ‘Are you coming?’
The two of them made their way to the exit and out through the automatic doors that led to the car park where a small but valiant number of smokers were shivering over late-night cigarettes.
‘It must have been a real shock finding him like that,’ said Adam.
‘For a moment or two I thought that . . . well, you know what I thought . . . anyway once I realised he was still breathing I was so relieved all I could concentrate on was calling an ambulance as quickly as possible. Everything that happened after that is just a blur.’
‘Well, it sounds like you saved Dad’s life.’
Luke shrugged and looked down at his shoes. ‘It was good having him living with me, you know, seeing him every day like I used to when we were kids. It’s not the same when you leave home; you haven’t got that same day-to-day interaction. And I don’t think I’d realised that until Dad came to stay. I didn’t understand how much distance there was between us. Of course I used to pop in, say hello, talk about the weather, eat some food and then go but I never really talked to him, not properly. Not like I do with Mum. Why is that? Why is it so difficult?’
‘It’s just not what we do, is it? Me, you, Russ and Dad, we talk but we don’t really say anything. Not anything meaningful anyway. It’s the women who bring us out of ourselves. When we were at home it was Mum and now it’s your Cass or Russ’s Angie or even my Steph . . . It’s they who show us what life is really all about. Without them . . . I don’t know . . . I think we’re all just a bit . . .’
‘Disconnected? Lost? Hopeless?’
Adam smiled. ‘All of the above.’ He looked over at his brother. ‘Me and Russ have been having a heart-to-heart and apparently he’s split up with Angie.’
‘Already? How come?’
‘It’s complicated.’
‘But things with you and Steph are all right?’
Adam shook his head.
‘If it’s any consolation,’ said Luke. ‘I’ve got some good news that you might like to hear.’
Adam laughed. ‘That’s hard to come by in this family. Of course I want to hear it. Fire away.’
‘It’s a long story but this morning I met up with Jayne again. You’ll never believe it but she and Megan are living right here in Manchester. Anyway, we’ve cleared the air and this afternoon I finally got to see Megan again.’
‘That’s the best news ever!’ said Adam, throwing his arms round his brother. ‘How is she? What’s she like?’
‘She’s amazing.’ Luke had tears in his eyes. ‘Absolutely amazing. The sweetest little angel you could ever wish to meet. And it wasn’t weird and it wasn’t strange, it was the best feeling ever. Honestly mate, she looks like a miniature version of Mum, I’m not kidding you. The eyes, the face, the smile. I can’t believe I never noticed it before. It’s pure Mum.’
‘Do her and Dad know yet?’
Luke shook his head. ‘I was planning to tell Dad tonight and then with all that’s gone on I thought it would be best to wait until Dad’s properly awake and tell them together.’
‘That’s great news, Luke,’ said Adam, embracing his brother once again. ‘You must be walking on air.’
‘I am. I really am.’
‘And what about Cassie? Have you told her yet?’
Luke’s face suddenly became serious. ‘It’s complicated on that front. The last time we saw each other it basically ended in a huge row with her storming off. She feels like all I’ve done is mess her around and now I’ve finally got my act sorted it might be too late.’
As the wind picked up the boys headed back inside the waiting room and warmed themselves with a coffee while taking it in turns to recall favourite memories from their childhood. In the middle of Adam’s version of the time that Luke broke his arm while falling out of a neighbour’s apple tree, Russell appeared and gave Adam the nod so he made his way upstairs to see his father face to face.
The room was quiet. Mum was sitting by Dad’s side but it was impossible to make out her features in the half-light. Dad’s eyes were closed and his bre
athing deep and regular as though he were fast asleep. Adam pulled up a chair and sat down next to his mum.
‘He’ll be all right, you know,’ he said quietly. ‘He’ll be fine. We’re Bachelors, aren’t we? We’re virtually indestructible.’ She took his father’s hand and looked straight ahead.
‘I blame myself.’
‘That’s nonsense, Mum. Of course it’s not your fault.’
She reached for his dad’s hand. ‘I knew your father was ill. He’d been having problems with his health before he left. It seemed like every day he was up at the doctor’s for one thing or another and don’t get me started on the cocktail of tablets he had to take. I had to stand over him to make sure he remembered. Did he remember to take them when he lived with you?’
‘I didn’t even know he was taking any tablets.’
‘He wouldn’t have wanted you to know. That’s your dad all over, isn’t it? He doesn’t like people making a fuss. It was all I could do to get him to let me help him so he certainly wouldn’t have wanted you to get involved. That’s just his way.’
Adam had no idea what was going on with his parents any more, whether the divorce was still on or if once Dad was better he would be going home with Mum but in that one small action, that movement of one hand towards another he had seen something that he hadn’t seen in his family for a while: hope. Whether or not his parents got back together there was still an awful lot of love left between them, the kind of love that even the worst foolishness couldn’t erode and even a hardened cynic like Adam had to stand back and admire.
Part 4
‘I am what I am.’
At the sound of his alarm clock Adam cracked open first one eye and then the other and hit the snooze button. He didn’t go back to sleep though. Who could possibly sleep with this much on their mind?
Things continued to pile up at work but he had promised Mum he would nip down to Toys R Us to buy a present or two for Megan on behalf of the family for when they were all supposed to meet her. He was utterly clueless about what to get because last time he checked he wasn’t an eight-and-a-half-year-old girl. But these problems seemed trivial compared with the fact that today, after a week in hospital, his dad was due home and Adam had no idea where home would be. While his mum had been a near-permanent fixture at his dad’s bedside there had been no mention of future plans and Adam knew better than to ask.
Climbing out of bed Adam determined to get as much of a head start on the day as possible. His dad would be discharged at midday and before going to the hospital he would at the very least need to do a shop, get the spare room ready and (given that his cleaning lady was on holiday in Turkey for a fortnight) run the Hoover around the place so that it would meet minimum hygiene standards required for a recuperating pensioner.
His head still buzzing with things that needed to be done Adam left his bedroom dressed only in his boxer shorts and was crossing the landing for a shower when he heard the front-door bell. He really couldn’t be bothered putting on clothes when he was already so close to his destination, but recalling that a few nights earlier he had ordered a bunch of CDs for his dad as a welcome-home present Adam resigned himself to a deeper relationship with the postman and made his way downstairs.
‘You’re not the postman,’ said Adam, protecting his modesty behind the front door, as he peered through the gap and came face to face with Russell.
‘Well spotted,’ said Russell with a grin. ‘Whoever claimed you weren’t a genius, bruv, was obviously wrong. So are you going to invite me in or not?’
Adam pulled the door open, sat down on the stairs and observed his brother. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Well, apart from the fact that I thought it might be a good idea to come round here and help you sort the place out ready for Dad’s arrival I’ve got some news.’
‘Which is?’
‘We’re not cursed.’
‘Who’s not cursed?’
‘We Bachelors. Do you remember we were talking about it the night Dad went into hospital? I was saying that I thought maybe we were cursed for ever to screw up relationships and you said you thought it was more a case of us never knowing what’s good for us.’
‘I’ll have to take your word for it, Russ, it was three or four in the morning at the time.’
‘Anyway, I’ve been thinking and I’ve finally come to a conclusion.’
‘Which is?’
‘That we’re late starters.’
Adam couldn’t help but smile. ‘Late starters? I’m thirty-eight, mate. If I get any later than this I’ll be collecting my pension before I’m even ready to have kids!’
‘No, I’m serious,’ said Russell. ‘Just give me a minute and I’ll explain. We’re not cursed and we’re not any more stupid or thoughtless than the next man. What we are . . . in fact what we’ve always been is late starters in the sense that we just take a lot longer to get where we’re supposed to than most.’
‘And your proof for that would be what? Luke and Cass getting back together?’
‘In part, yes.’
‘And?’
‘Me and Angie.’
‘Are you saying she’s taken you back?’
‘Not in so many words. Basically I went to see her last night and we talked . . . and we talked . . . and then we talked some more and though she hasn’t exactly said that we’re getting back together she hasn’t exactly ruled it out either. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still angry with me – and believe me if there’s one person you don’t want to be on the wrong side of it’s Angie – and I know I’ve still got a long way to go before she’ll trust me again but that’s fine. I’m prepared to put in the time even if I have to live at Mum and Dad’s until I’m your age. But what I feel – and I know you’re going to think this is cheesy – is that there’s hope. Me and Angie have got hope; Luke and Cass have got it too and do you know what? As bleak as the outlook has been this year there’s still hope for Mum and Dad too.’
‘That’s all good,’ said Adam. ‘And cheesy though it is, I can see it might be true, but why are you telling me all this?’
‘Because you’ve got hope too.’
Adam shook his head. ‘Nice idea, Russ, but I don’t think so. Any hope I had ran out some time ago and do you know what? That’s fine. I’m chuffed you and Luke have got your happy endings and no one wants Mum and Dad back together more than me but everything that’s happened has taught me this: I’m living my happy ending right now. My life’s great as it is and I don’t actually need anyone else on a regular basis to give it meaning . . . or depth . . . or whatever you want to call it. I am what I am.’
Russell didn’t respond. He simply smiled to himself and offered to make Adam a coffee. ‘Two sugars, is it?’
‘Yeah,’ nodded Adam, eyeing his brother suspiciously. ‘Two sugars it is.’
It was just coming up to midday as Adam and Russell pulled into the hospital car park. Adam dialled Luke’s number.
‘Hey bruv, it’s me,’ said Adam. ‘Are you here yet?’
‘Mum and I are just about to get in the lift to go up to the ward. Where are you?’
‘Just pulled up. Look, I know this is going to be tricky to answer with her standing there but has she said anything to you about her plans yet?’
‘Not a word.’
‘I suppose that’s that then. I’ll see you in a bit, OK?’
‘What did he say?’ asked Russell.
‘Mum hasn’t said a word about Dad going home.’
‘She’ll take him back, just you wait and see.’
‘And you know this how?’
‘I’m telling you, Ad, you can be as cynical as you like but it’s all about hope these days. It’s the order of the day, mate.’
Adam and Russell made their way over to the main entrance, and up to the fourth floor where they were buzzed through to the ward by an all-female group of nurses coming out the other way.
‘He’s all ready for you,’ said one of the nurses who Adam had spo
ken to several times before and who had clearly taken something of a shine to him. ‘He looks like a new man. The sparkle is definitely back in those big brown eyes of his.’
‘Sounds to me like a job well done. As a sign of my gratitude any time you’re over Chorlton way and you’re a bit thirsty drop in to BlueBar, mention my name to the staff and the drinks will be on the house.’
‘And what if it’s just me that happens to be in Chorlton?’ asked the nurse, clearly flirting. ‘Will I have your attention to myself for the whole night?’
Adam shook his head. ‘I can’t say I’m in there much these days.’
The nurse pulled out a pen and paper from the pocket of her uniform and scribbled something down. ‘Just in case you’re ever at a loose end.’ Her friends cackled uncontrollably.
‘Thanks,’ said Adam graciously.
Adam and Russell continued down the hallway.
‘Are you really going to call her?’
Adam shook his head. ‘Not in a million years.’
‘What? Isn’t she your type?’
Adam was tempted to grab his brother in a headlock and rap his knuckles on his skull until he cried for mercy like he used to when they were kids but this being neither the time nor the place, all he did was scowl, screw the paper into a ball and hand it to his brother. ‘Come on,’ he commanded. ‘Let’s go.’
Entering Dad’s room all Adam’s feelings of annoyance towards Russell disappeared. Their father was fully dressed in his own clothes and Mum was standing by his side holding his hand. Adam wasn’t sure which was the more shocking sight: his parents’ open display of affection or the fact that his dad looked so bloody amazing.
‘You look really well, Dad!’ said Adam, crossing the room to greet his father. ‘I can’t believe it! Are you sure it’s him, Mum? Are you sure the hospital haven’t just made up a replacement out of a few old spare parts?’
‘It’s the clothes,’ explained Dad. ‘There’s nothing like having your own clothes on to make you feel more like your old self. I tell you son, those hospital gowns are the devil’s work: draughty as anything and ugly too. I defy anybody to look well wearing one of those things!’